of cos lah... we have no hierarchy... we've done away with that and everyone works better being equally-treated but rewarded on merit. no personal rooms for bosses/shareholders... all sit in open-concept. no need for sucking up and trying to group here group there... when we see a groupie - we see a bunch of pple who are weak individuals... tat's why they need to group... normally the non-producers. lunch-wise it's all over the place but pple find frens in company so no need to question the motives... it's so human.
My boss and a collegue behaving strangely
- Thread starter doggielove
- Start date
hi jieling,u seem uncomfortable about what the different groups talk about during lunch. dont u think it might be better to lunch alone? at least you dont feel awkward and be diplomatic wtih replies...
As for giving snacks, I'm the type who like to snack and will ask my "neighbours" if they want to eat. I dont treat it as I'm trying hard to be friendly.Just want to share food, no obligations or hidden agenda. Perhaps most of the ladies enjoy eating but a bit weight-conscious though
As for giving snacks, I'm the type who like to snack and will ask my "neighbours" if they want to eat. I dont treat it as I'm trying hard to be friendly.Just want to share food, no obligations or hidden agenda. Perhaps most of the ladies enjoy eating but a bit weight-conscious though
doggielove
New Member
hello Sgsingle.
im learning everyday. i just feel that my being kindess and friendliness to my new collegue had made me the enemy of the other grp. and somemore my boss also part of the whole thing that make me more mad. i use to keep praising my boss ot my other collegues that she is a fair and just boss. but i think i speak too fast.
but i got to understand and myself in my boss shoe, being a lady mgr, she also doesnt have lunch click and usually all the staffs avoid lunching wif boss so she also may feel lonely. now this guy collegue who is almost same age wif her, and who can joke and talk rubbish and make her so happy so why she doesnt want that.
and since the team mostly all girls who doesnt drive, and if my boss invite us to lunch she usually drive n offer to treat us coffee. but wi this guy collegue who drive, my guy colegue always offer to drive my boss ard.. so which lady doent like to be treated and pamper right?
so i thnk i got to be fair and think that my boss like that sort of treatment so that why she decide to chose the guy and buy in to his story.
just blame that im stupid and naive and doesnt really know how to suck up to my boss. seriously im very prideful person also. if my boss din really invite me, i also wont go and self invite and offer to join them...
so that is why im not get into boss good bok esp lady boss
i have no prob wif male bosses last time since guys always very chin chai, they just invite anyone.
im learning everyday. i just feel that my being kindess and friendliness to my new collegue had made me the enemy of the other grp. and somemore my boss also part of the whole thing that make me more mad. i use to keep praising my boss ot my other collegues that she is a fair and just boss. but i think i speak too fast.
but i got to understand and myself in my boss shoe, being a lady mgr, she also doesnt have lunch click and usually all the staffs avoid lunching wif boss so she also may feel lonely. now this guy collegue who is almost same age wif her, and who can joke and talk rubbish and make her so happy so why she doesnt want that.
and since the team mostly all girls who doesnt drive, and if my boss invite us to lunch she usually drive n offer to treat us coffee. but wi this guy collegue who drive, my guy colegue always offer to drive my boss ard.. so which lady doent like to be treated and pamper right?
so i thnk i got to be fair and think that my boss like that sort of treatment so that why she decide to chose the guy and buy in to his story.
just blame that im stupid and naive and doesnt really know how to suck up to my boss. seriously im very prideful person also. if my boss din really invite me, i also wont go and self invite and offer to join them...
so that is why im not get into boss good bok esp lady boss
i have no prob wif male bosses last time since guys always very chin chai, they just invite anyone.
if i were your lady boss, i'd actually take offence at what u say... u're looking at her like a typical lady... and second-guessing the reasons using your lady-eyes... Dun u think it's abit too early to jump to those conclusions? for the short period, u already made a conclusion tat she is fair which now u think u might have said tat too quickly... why dun u learn from that and Not make a judgment so quickly again?
she's your boss but u attribute her with the mentality of some kid. lunching becos of Car and others sucking up to her?
it's starting to sound abit more like jealousy than being left out.
she's your boss but u attribute her with the mentality of some kid. lunching becos of Car and others sucking up to her?
it's starting to sound abit more like jealousy than being left out.
alcifertoh
New Member
Really think too much it's just lunch. Who drives does not really make any difference. Normally guys would just offer to drive nothing big deal.
Other than waiting for ppl to invite you to lunch, you can also initiate the lunch sessions if not being invited made you felt left out.
Other than waiting for ppl to invite you to lunch, you can also initiate the lunch sessions if not being invited made you felt left out.
powderful07
New Member
Jie Ling...
Firstly, WHY the HECK are you so bothered by all this office politics in the first place? All that whining about being treated unfairly(???); being biased against; being not invited to lunch...yak yak yak...
What's the underlying motive behind all these bitching? Are you looking for acceptance? Are you looking for attention in the office?
I mean, what's your agenda? I'm having problems understanding your personality based on what you have said so far...It's conflicting...
On one hand, you're trying to portray yourself as someone who's above politics and just about the nicest, funnest, easiest-going kinda person...
And then you went on a bitching spree with great intricate details on the "office politics" that you so clearly despised....
Well princess, wake up!
You're not REALLY that much different from that group of people that you so clearly look down on...
Look...if you are so against ALL those little political situations that is happening in your company...then either you put up with it or you move on...
Continuous bitching about the whole scenario only serves to show us that you're sore about the whole situation JUST BECOS you're not part of the accepted group...not part of those people in the "power" groups...
So YES...you're just as political as well if you let yourself be so hot under the collar over such minor incidents...You just didn't realise it!
So what if your lady boss likes to lunch with that guy! So what if people likes to form groups and gossip about company stuff!
If you are indeed above such politics like what you mentioned, you wouldn't even be bothered at all...
You get my point?
Firstly, WHY the HECK are you so bothered by all this office politics in the first place? All that whining about being treated unfairly(???); being biased against; being not invited to lunch...yak yak yak...
What's the underlying motive behind all these bitching? Are you looking for acceptance? Are you looking for attention in the office?
I mean, what's your agenda? I'm having problems understanding your personality based on what you have said so far...It's conflicting...
On one hand, you're trying to portray yourself as someone who's above politics and just about the nicest, funnest, easiest-going kinda person...
And then you went on a bitching spree with great intricate details on the "office politics" that you so clearly despised....
Well princess, wake up!
You're not REALLY that much different from that group of people that you so clearly look down on...
Look...if you are so against ALL those little political situations that is happening in your company...then either you put up with it or you move on...
Continuous bitching about the whole scenario only serves to show us that you're sore about the whole situation JUST BECOS you're not part of the accepted group...not part of those people in the "power" groups...
So YES...you're just as political as well if you let yourself be so hot under the collar over such minor incidents...You just didn't realise it!
So what if your lady boss likes to lunch with that guy! So what if people likes to form groups and gossip about company stuff!
If you are indeed above such politics like what you mentioned, you wouldn't even be bothered at all...
You get my point?
powderful07
New Member
Damn...I forgot my *hugz*...
*HUGZZZ*
*HUGZZZ*
doggielove
New Member
hi i understand.
now situation is much better. i din focus about this incident anymore eventhough my new colegue keep harping about the situation why my boss left "US" out. although the words about "us" keep making me feel uncomfortable when i dont really want to associate with anyone.
after talking to some close frens, i realised that its kinda waste of my time to keep talking and being affected by new collegue on waht is happening now.
now im so much happier when i turn a blind eye to anything happening in office and other collegues start asking me to join them. and now i got a choice to join them or not to..
now situation is much better. i din focus about this incident anymore eventhough my new colegue keep harping about the situation why my boss left "US" out. although the words about "us" keep making me feel uncomfortable when i dont really want to associate with anyone.
after talking to some close frens, i realised that its kinda waste of my time to keep talking and being affected by new collegue on waht is happening now.
now im so much happier when i turn a blind eye to anything happening in office and other collegues start asking me to join them. and now i got a choice to join them or not to..
miloice
Well-Known Member
cute biscuits or kong guan / Danlone biscuit / breakfast coffee or whatsoever...
It is not about how good or bad the idea to be helpful or nice is. Rather, it boils back to the question why be so affected by it. Glad that Jie Ling finally realize what a waste of time to be so affected over really nothing.
btw, I buy coffee / interesting food stuffs for my team sometimes. And also often bring biscuits and other snacks to share. Snacking helps relieve stress. Where we work, food court and hawker center all closed at night. So, when we OT, its good to have some snack. And when we get coffee, I would offer to grab something for my colleagues too.
Its more of a convenience than any agenda of acceptance whatsoever.
It is not about how good or bad the idea to be helpful or nice is. Rather, it boils back to the question why be so affected by it. Glad that Jie Ling finally realize what a waste of time to be so affected over really nothing.
btw, I buy coffee / interesting food stuffs for my team sometimes. And also often bring biscuits and other snacks to share. Snacking helps relieve stress. Where we work, food court and hawker center all closed at night. So, when we OT, its good to have some snack. And when we get coffee, I would offer to grab something for my colleagues too.
Its more of a convenience than any agenda of acceptance whatsoever.
doggielove
New Member
just got news that my current boss is moving over to a new role and she is pulling my this male colegue along wif her to the new org. everyone is talking about it asking why me and the other lady collegue din get pull over to join her.. well i shrugg. but i kinda expected and i feel that the last few mths my boss and him been very close. but that doesnt really affect me since im still gg to have a job..
and now my new boss gg to be a male and seated remotely. so lucky for me so no boss can watch me. but my poor lady collegue. stil complaining away. lasttime she complain my female boss left us out and being favouritism. now change boss she also complain.. so seem like nothing pleasese her and i cant be bother wif her anymore.
life juts goes on mah... sometime u click wif someone and sometime u just dont click lor..and nowaday i just so bo chap and i cant be bother to pretend to be friendly and talk to everyone. but my this lady colleuge becos of the new reorg she feeling so resentful and since she cant get me to bitch together wif her, she started complaining to other collegues.. guess misery loevs company.
im happier this way that if she just leave me alone
and now my new boss gg to be a male and seated remotely. so lucky for me so no boss can watch me. but my poor lady collegue. stil complaining away. lasttime she complain my female boss left us out and being favouritism. now change boss she also complain.. so seem like nothing pleasese her and i cant be bother wif her anymore.
life juts goes on mah... sometime u click wif someone and sometime u just dont click lor..and nowaday i just so bo chap and i cant be bother to pretend to be friendly and talk to everyone. but my this lady colleuge becos of the new reorg she feeling so resentful and since she cant get me to bitch together wif her, she started complaining to other collegues.. guess misery loevs company.
im happier this way that if she just leave me alone
glad to know that things seem to be fine at your end
i guess some people just have the habit of complain..eg that colleague of yours. it is quite common to grumble, just gotto be aware and not to get carried away. also u wont know whether your colleagues will "spread" wat u say.
hang out with those colleagues whom you feel comfortable with
i guess some people just have the habit of complain..eg that colleague of yours. it is quite common to grumble, just gotto be aware and not to get carried away
. also u wont know whether your colleagues will "spread" wat u say. hang out with those colleagues whom you feel comfortable with
miloice
Well-Known Member
side tracking a little...
I find that is pretty much a Singaporean culture. We have so much of comments about every little things around us even if it really doesn't bother us.
My HongKong colleague was just commenting this to me today on how in HK, people are alot more vocal than singapore. When a kid misbehave in public, strangers on the street will not hesitate to scold the kid right in front of the kids parent presence. They would even scold the parents for not disciplining the kids.
Then, it reminded me of one incident last night. Was at the clinic when a small boy removed all his clothes and only wore his briefs. He was running all over and eventually out of the clinic to the streets. His mother and the maid helpless grabbing his clothes and belongings following him everywhere and not able to control him. The immediate response between my wife and me was to whisper... "if he is our kid, I will give him a tight slap". And then, I realized the couple beside us were also making similar remarks and the nurses shaking their heads gosshiping away too.
Man.... its true, we singaporeans have alot of comments over biz none of our concerns and we can conditioned to do nothing abt them but quietly gosship about it amongst ourselves! Funnie how we will not do anything knowing its none of our biz but yet so kapo to gosship about it!
I find that is pretty much a Singaporean culture. We have so much of comments about every little things around us even if it really doesn't bother us.
My HongKong colleague was just commenting this to me today on how in HK, people are alot more vocal than singapore. When a kid misbehave in public, strangers on the street will not hesitate to scold the kid right in front of the kids parent presence. They would even scold the parents for not disciplining the kids.
Then, it reminded me of one incident last night. Was at the clinic when a small boy removed all his clothes and only wore his briefs. He was running all over and eventually out of the clinic to the streets. His mother and the maid helpless grabbing his clothes and belongings following him everywhere and not able to control him. The immediate response between my wife and me was to whisper... "if he is our kid, I will give him a tight slap". And then, I realized the couple beside us were also making similar remarks and the nurses shaking their heads gosshiping away too.
Man.... its true, we singaporeans have alot of comments over biz none of our concerns and we can conditioned to do nothing abt them but quietly gosship about it amongst ourselves! Funnie how we will not do anything knowing its none of our biz but yet so kapo to gosship about it!
powderful07
New Member
NATO seems to be our culture...
A recent post in another thread on a dog being ran over by a car is proof of that mentality...I guess that's part of SG culture...
Also...another thing that I noticed is that some people seems to display this other quality as well...
Outwardly pretending to be unaffected and "don't care" on certain incidents; but internally it eats away at them and they do subtle little things or say things like it doesn't concern them a bit ...BUT you know that it MATTERS to them...
They are constantly displaying a nonchalant attitude to show that they dont care when in actual, it does...
Did anyone else notice that?
A recent post in another thread on a dog being ran over by a car is proof of that mentality...I guess that's part of SG culture...
Also...another thing that I noticed is that some people seems to display this other quality as well...
Outwardly pretending to be unaffected and "don't care" on certain incidents; but internally it eats away at them and they do subtle little things or say things like it doesn't concern them a bit ...BUT you know that it MATTERS to them...
They are constantly displaying a nonchalant attitude to show that they dont care when in actual, it does...
Did anyone else notice that?
powderful07
New Member
oh fcuk...now you've gone and stirred the hornet's nest...
miloice
Well-Known Member
hi powderful,
yes, agree with your observation.
To share, my wife was just telling me yesterday of one of her colleague that fully displayed all these traits.
incident 1.
One colleague just got married and the gals gathered around have envy how big her diamond was. Out of no where, this colleague commented, "I asked my husband not to buy too big one for me". Everyone was like, what asked u anyway? If she had keep quiet, no one would even notice if she had a smaller diamond at all.
incident 2.
This other colleague stayed in Little India. But didn't revealed that it was a condo. Anyway, this particular colleague just got a HDB. She got it from open market due to their salary cap. When asked how much it was, she replied its quite cheap but *looking at the other colleague and said* "MORE EXPENSIVE" than little India.
Stupid mentality of comparing over nothing. ARGH!
yes, agree with your observation.
To share, my wife was just telling me yesterday of one of her colleague that fully displayed all these traits.
incident 1.
One colleague just got married and the gals gathered around have envy how big her diamond was. Out of no where, this colleague commented, "I asked my husband not to buy too big one for me". Everyone was like, what asked u anyway? If she had keep quiet, no one would even notice if she had a smaller diamond at all.
incident 2.
This other colleague stayed in Little India. But didn't revealed that it was a condo. Anyway, this particular colleague just got a HDB. She got it from open market due to their salary cap. When asked how much it was, she replied its quite cheap but *looking at the other colleague and said* "MORE EXPENSIVE" than little India.
Stupid mentality of comparing over nothing. ARGH!
doggielove
New Member
yes yes,, thanks Vios!
i just think im damn plain stupid and idiot why in the first place i even let it to affect me.
after about being solitary and consistently remind my self not to bug into other pple affair, i already break free of myself from others affair.
now im back to forum to catch up
i just think im damn plain stupid and idiot why in the first place i even let it to affect me.
after about being solitary and consistently remind my self not to bug into other pple affair, i already break free of myself from others affair.
now im back to forum to catch up
alcifertoh
New Member
Haha when one is at workplace just do what he/she is there for. All those gossips/politics definitely will weight one down and make one feel sian.
There was a period when my colleagues everyday bomb me with gossips lah politics lah. It really get to your nerves and even if you are not affected, you feel damn pek chek listening to them. Like nothing to do find things to do. When a person is really busy on the job where got time for such?
Hence I rather juz avoid them or lunch alone than choosing to go through one talking about this one that one and whining about everything.
Spoils the lunch. Just like a broken tape recorder everyday on the same issues.
There was a period when my colleagues everyday bomb me with gossips lah politics lah. It really get to your nerves and even if you are not affected, you feel damn pek chek listening to them. Like nothing to do find things to do. When a person is really busy on the job where got time for such?
Hence I rather juz avoid them or lunch alone than choosing to go through one talking about this one that one and whining about everything.
Spoils the lunch. Just like a broken tape recorder everyday on the same issues.