Maintenance Issues for Wife & Children?????

[mark78]

"If 80-90% of what my salary is going towards their maintenance, and my wife is no longer contributing anything now, then there is certainly no motivation to work my ass all out liao!

If I am going to provide for everything outright in my marrige in the 1ts place, then I might as well marry a homemaker instead of a professional, and maybe choose a prettier & sexier PRC to stay at home & be my maid and sex slave!"

woman charter not so one sided lah ts. sexier PRC and stay home be your maid? Be a milk Maid. don those french or dutch milk maid attire.. milk you dry then ditch u aside?

sia liew up to you lah. take care.

 

[totallylost]

I can't believe how naive he could be about choosing 'a prettier & sexier PRC to stay at home & be a maid and sex slave'...he really thinks all women are stupid, including the PRCs?

"I may be able to give up my gf and return to my family to repent my sins, but how to reprogram your mind that u would not be aroused sexually when u encounter say, a slim, young & pretty gal who offers to spread her legs for you? (Oops!! ....Sorry if you are not a guy to understand this!..hehehe).

I would have to be "superhuman", or insane (like become a gay or totally lost any interests in sex), to resists such temptations."

He sure made himself sound damn attractive to women (even at the freaky age of 40)...u think they fall for you because of looks, charm or $? And if that's the case, did you think with your $, u can make them ur sex slaves and maids? *chuckle*

It's been so clear. He rather splurges on PRCs or pretty young things for sex rather than give his children a luxurious life. He can only give them the basics and have the rest of his $ for womanising and make himself happy. What a self-centred man!

Why am I not surprised that your children are ignoring you as well...just surprised that your dog still wags its tail at you...perhaps it realises $ is king, like those pretty young things that flock to you

 

[susanna_low]

<font color="0000ff">If I am going to provide for everything outright in my marrige in the 1ts place, then I might as well marry a homemaker instead of a professional, and maybe choose a prettier &amp; sexier PRC to stay at home &amp; be my maid and sex slave!</font>

U treat ur marriage like going to a market and u marry ur wife coz she can share the household expenses with you??

 

[miloice]

I would have to be "superhuman", or insane (like become a gay or totally lost any interests in sex), to resists such temptations. [Unquote]

I would agree its human and nature to be tempted. This isn't specific to men only lah. Being tempted and actually falling for it are 2 different things. Being tempted doesn't mean you have to act on it. Just ask around, how many people wanna kick you at your groin? If everyone fall for all their temptation, your wife would have murdered you long ago.

Once again, more stupid logic of lame excuses. LOL.

 

[mcp220]

I get the drift from all the feedbacks here and I agree that I'm too self-centred &amp; egoistic, but that's besides the point here as my thread was about maintenance, not infidelity.

I can't agree more on the points raised by some forummers here and seeing myself more clearly in my reflections now...

Well, I will not justify my actions here anymore outside my marriage, it's just a thought or believe that I have, and I think it'll most probably not go down well with the majority of ladies here.

I will be tactful when presenting my case(with my lawyer's advice) to the judge, as not to let my "immoral" values affect his/her judgement when deciding on my maintenance quantum.

I believe everyone still have their rights &amp; freedom of choice to decide on their future happiness and not get bogged down by the "women's charter" or restrictive terms &amp; conditions laid down by his spouse.....Just my 2 cents.

 

[clipperjunk]

i guess you are not made for marriage....although the claim sought by your wife is excessive....

 

[miloice]

Well Liew, as I said, then don't lament about how your family treat you. It is something of a normal human reaction.

If you exercise more EQ in dealing with your family, you probably would save some time &amp; resources having not to fight a difficult legal battle in the 1st place. After dragging the legal for some yrs, my dad finally gave up fighting over the properties. My bro took him to church and he started to show a more human side of himself.

It took a long time to repair the lost trust. Even though the hatred and anger were long gone but the rebuild of the parent son relationship was a long one. I'm proud of my dad. Even though he is gone now, he lives in our hearts forever.

 

[chris_lee]

Heh... If it's not too late, I think this is a battle of the 犯贱 (hope I got the character right), see who more 贱.

Seems Sean is one bloke who has the cut to be a sly fox, and he is facing another fox, equally smart.

 

[mcp220]

I'm not SLY till I see my wife's true colours(or the colors of her close relatives &amp; parents)!

If I was really SLY, I would have evaded being caught red-handed in the 1st place....

Anyway...just an update, my lawyer is now handling my case &amp; representing me in court, and my wife has also engaged her own lawyer to fight me in court!

So far, I've paid my lawyer $2K as downpayment for the groundwork &amp; more to pay if the case drags on w/o mutual settlement.

Then my wife scolded me for spending $ on lawyer to contest her claims instead of giving more $ to the kids....ie spend $ to defend myself from giving $ for the kids' welfare!

What bullshit if she needs $7K/mth to maintain 2 kids????....then I better take over the custody &amp; she need not have to pay a cent to the kids' maintenance then! ;(

Will update on the outcome in 2-3 weeks when the judge will decide on the affadavits filed &amp; make his/her judgement!

 

[hipohipi]

Why bullshit if one need $7k/month to maintain 2 kids? depends on how and what you want for your kids to have lar.
If she needs to works, then she must hire someone to take care of kids at home; better still and if both of you can afford, then might hire 2pers, one in charge for hse matters, one in charge for kids matters: send/pick up them school/enrichment classes, help them with homework/project from school, accompany them, etc.
Taking care of kids is no easy. So i dont think spend more money to make sure your kids well taken care is such a splurge.

Their food, their personal needs, and do you know how much enrichement classes these day's cost?
Btw the bottomline is not what kind of bullshit spend $7k for kids, but you prefer to keep your money for yourself so you can splurge on yourself buying new and upcoming woman or feel like eligable bachelor instead of giving your 2 kids good life.
Why you want to get custody when you dont even want them (mind you, the way you describe your kids above tell all) so its all about how to give your kids as little money as possible. You dont even consider that your wife does this out of her anger with your attitude.

 

[powder]

Hipo,

i think some pple here have lost objectivity...

do most of us here even earn 8k/mth to have 7k/mth take-home pay? (tat's assuming Sean keeps nothing for himself, his parents or whatever)... why does 7k a mth suddenly make sense by throwing groundless sentences on "how much kids cost nowadays"??

i think it is not only irresponsible, but highly biased n prejudiced to throw such statements simply becos u view Sean in a bad light for his indiscretions.

u might like to consider if throwing 3.5k on a kid will only multiply in years to come. Once u set 3.5k for a kid, it's gonna be almost 5-6k when the kid is a teenager... not only is that illogical, but i would like to state that it's Stupid to make such suggestions.

it sounds more like a punishment, than an objective settlement.

 

[chris_lee]

Just for the record:

I am not disagreeing that the Woman's Charter is slightly tilted towards ladies. Yes, Sean in his case, has reasonable reasons to defend himself from his wife's demand of a sum for maintainence.

Sean - the fact you agreed you have been wrong to have a third party reflects alot about you. There have been plenty of swept-under-the-carpet problems in your union, resulting in your seeking solace elsewhere. Granted.

You too have reason to defend that demanded sum. That's why I said your wife is also sly or equally smart for her using Woman's Charter against you. If it's a conscious choice just to "WIN", then she is indeed at fault herself.

The reason why I find you SLY is you could even toy with the idea of making yourself unemployed just to avoid paying maintainence. I am sure your target is your wife for intimdating you.

You may be upset with your wife for not taking 'No' for an answer for the sum. Then you may want to justify how you would more effectively be a better parent without having to spend $7k. The maintainence is for your kids, not your wife.

Hence, I think you should just shift your focus to how you can maintain your kids. If your wife is bent on 'robbing' you, I suggest you leave her out of the equation in your plans. By conceiving ideas to avoid paying just only makes yourself look like a beyond-hope bloke. I hate to say this: you ain't getting anywhere lah. You end up spending more in a legal battle.

Then as for marriage, you may just want to forget the idea permanently. Clearly, if you are the sort who only wants to retaliate to win, no point at all. Nobody guarantees a marriage will be perfect in the lifetime.

 

[elizann]

Hi Liew, you said "........I will still support my kids if they still treat me as their father and talk to me with their problems."

A father's love and sacrifices for his children should always be boundaryless and unconditional, no matter what happens between him and his wife.

No matter how much your children hate or love you, no matter they call you daddy or stare at you, you must still do your duty as the father. They did not ask to come to this world. You brought them here, so I hope you'll continue to maintain them, support them in everyway you can, till they are adults.

I am speaking from experience. My bf has two children by his ex-wife. No matter how much the level of bitterness between them, they both loved their children, and showered love on them at every stage of their divorce. Even when the kids refused to see him (due to their mummy telling them not to see him cos they had a mini dispute at one stage), he never gave up. He still went to their school to fetch them, he called them up during weekends and bought presents for them and put at the doorstep even when the kids din wan to see him. He never complained, he never threw tantrums and say "I dun wanna support my kids cos they never talk to me". Eventually the kids were won over cos their mum knew that she can't stop them from seeing their daddy.

So I hope no matter what happens, no matter how bad your wife is treating you, pls spare a thought for the children. They're innocent. They did not ask for the divorce.

 

[hipohipi]

Powder,
My point is IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT. Not saying that everybody should spend that much. The thing is he sounds really sayang to spend money for his kids. he earns 10,5K, whats wrong with giving 5-6k for the kids?

And yes, of coz its sounds like punishment, which woman in the earth wont feel like punish a cheating husband who doesnt even feel remosfull of his act? I sure will do the same thing. And the only medicine for that bitterness is a nice conversation, you told me that you're really sorry for what had happened, and showing that your kids still means alot to you by certain method. Not by defending your act, showing off, proud off, or scold me with nasty words or shout out loud to media that i'm just eyeing your money!

When my father cought cheating on my mum (again) and made this young girl pregnant, my mum went balistic, and she told my father she'll take anything. My father feel so bad and walk away from home with nothing. Really nothing. 2 houses, one condo, cars, even his biz he gave away to his wife and kids. Thats how sorry he is for messed up with our live.
It took few years for my mum to finnaly really forgive him and offer to buy his share for their biz or share their biz.

 

[powder]

i think u just displayed exactly what i'm saying... a Lack of Objectivity.

your point of "IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT" seems to betray your point itself, becos he certainly can't afford it. so blatantly changing 7k to '5-6k' in your 1st paragraph says alot doesn't it? it tells me u realise that it's also Too Much as u're typing a reply to me... but u type anyway Cos u decide revenge should hold stronger cause over objectivity.

your subconscious betrays u... sentences like "which woman in the earth wont feel like punish a cheating husband who doesnt even feel remosfull of his act?" makes your argument even weaker.

a self-lying woman who justifies every wrong on the pretext of an unfaithful husband, is no saint herself. i'm surprised u consider it in your right to make such statements.

the Other side of the story could also be that your dad is willing to give up everything for the young girl, or what he gave up is half of what he had whilst making u believe that it is all that he had... but i dun think your story should matter as much becos it does not add to objectivity, it just adds to your pre-conceived notion of what a man should do to vindicate himself of his guilt.

sorry, but your argument is flawed. u can't cry-father-cry-mother in court and expect the whole world to side u on your Unreasonable demands just becos your spouse cheated on u. it's typical char-bor talk, nothing more.

 

[hipohipi]

Powder,
I'm not saying that finnaly i change my mind about the number or that number too much. The point is not about 7k. If he earn 12k, he can give 7k, its not bullshit. If he earn 10,5k, means he can give 5-6k.

My father did feel remosfull of what he done. He argued many times with that young girl towards all the money and properties my father gave away to his wife and kids. But my father told her that he deserve nothing coz he break the whole family and feel responsible to make sure his kids all allright.
And for your note, my mum DIDNT take all by herself, she ask the lawyer to handle papership for properties under each child name. She set saving for each of us, even deposit money under my mum in law's name.
She just asked my father out of rage and to chanel her pain, for the same time teach the other women lesson that she minght not get anything in the end. And yes, that young girl end up abort e baby and leaving my father.

And I'm not arguing anything, just speak up my mind. Thats is.

 

[powder]

if it's a Fact tat he makes 10.5k (take-home would be abt 9.5k)... and a fact tat the wife is asking for 7k...

Why are u even going around the bush with "If he earn 12k"... when u contradict yourself with "If he earn 10.5k, means he can give 5-6k."
why not just say SINCE he earns 10.5k, he can give 5-6k, and that the 7k is Unreasonable???

u got weird logic.

if i earn 6k, my wife ask for 4k maintenance... isit any use to discuss on - if i earn 10k... it's abit of a talk-cock situation rite?

i dun mean to be rude, but it is indeed talk-cock.

 

[advisor00]

To TS

I'm glad life is teaching you a lesson and punishing you slowly...everyday.

Even then, you are not remorseful and even go about arguing about the 'rights' you have.

Moneyminded and calculative you are, just like your soon-to-be ex-wife.

I really hope ppl like you, live to see the last ending days of your life, regreting about "How'll you have lived it' but that even seems unlikely, when the end is near for you.

 

[miloice]

my 2 cents, I would encourage others not to respond. He seems to enjoy the online attention frankly. Not here to judge him. But, he isn't needing any advise. This is just another channel for him to blabber about his plight.

But, the choice is yours. Those who want to scold him, u r just wasting your time loh.

The point powder and hipo are exchanging on is pretty interesting though.

 

[powder]

my point is simple... Dun make someone here your punching-bag for your pent-up frustrations or emotional baggage...

there is a difference between being objective, and simply lashing out for the sake of it... and If wanna lash out, at least have the courtesy to be reasonable...

just becos someone is 'in the wrong', does not mean that everyone who's punching him - is automatically right, and have the right to punch him.

 

[meubel_123]

Sean, what's the latest update?

 

[kittenpie]

i really love coming to this forum because so many different types of cases are posted here, from the cheating husband to the cheated wife. so many different perspectives, so many points of views.

yes, Sean Lewd, how is the update of your WAR against your ex-wife.

 

[simpleman]

Don't think it is so nice to call people name: "Sean Lewd".. more so if you are first time posting in this thread and 1st time interacting with him.

Why do you think he should respond to you after an absence of 6 months and someone addressing him as "lewd".

He may be OK as he probably think of himself as a sex-craved guy... but in all decency. Do you walk up to a stranger and call someone "lewd" just because you have read something about him.

 

[thommy]

wonder how's our Mr. Casanova now...

 

[kittenpie]

point taken, SM. the thing is, Sean is an womaniser and PROUD of it. i don't think he is the sort of good family man who would mind being addressed as lewd. no, not at all.

but i am really interested to hear from him. the way he handles this thing and his attitude is really an eye-opener for me.

 

[yukie]

jus guessing... mayb his lawyer restrain him fm relating so much info online???