IOU

[honeygreentea]

Need abit of help here. My bro blur blur help his friend to borrow loanshark and now his friend don't wanna pay the sharks back, and we have to shoulder all the amount. My bro did not get a single cent out of this and it's not a small sum. I think his friend is out to cheat my bro. He asked him to be his guarantor and borrowed from loanshark about 500 to 1K each week from differnt loanshark and unknowingly, my bro had helped to be guarantor for more than 10 groups, total about 20K. Now his friend just say he's helping his friend to borrow and now his friend went away, so he's also in deep shit. This is total bullshit. Anyone here able to help and advise how I can make him pay us back the amount? As we can't tahan the loanshark's disturbing, we had paid off the full sum. I know it's stupid but we can't let shark disturb our family especially when there're babies and parents around, yet can't swallowed the pride on the fact that he's out to cheat us. Please help

 

[powder]

if it's settled, then leave it as that... an expensive lesson. the only thing i can think of now is to lodge a police report...

it's normal to feel unjustified, but pride - u can put it aside... when u're stupid enough to be a guarantor for unspecified loans and unspecified amounts... just be glad his fren isn't a big -time borrower, just $500-1k per loanshark.

honestly if loanshark only lend his fren upto 1k, then obviously this joker isn't very financially strong... so why even be a guarantor? and if u have to go to a loanshark for such small-change amount, then the problem is not the loanshark... it's the Borrower. who in the world borrows 1k sums from a loanshark??? even the loanshark is small time...

sad thing is... if u stay within such a circle, that will be your circle and your world... and it's unlikely that u'll achieve anything great. i'm talking Mindsets here... to u it may be a Debt, a Loan... to me - it's Tells me alot about this friend, this circle of friends, the type of mentality that this circle has.

we're no longer living in the age of 'Young&Dangerous'... no Ekin Chengs... this kind of blind brotherhood trust is silly in spore, becos in spore - u indirectly betray your family to stay true to your 'friends'.

all said, just let it go and start afresh. dun repeat the mistake else the 20k is really wasted...

ps: i know u're not the borrower, so dun feel offended by the way i write.

 

[honeygreentea]

Yup, leave aside the "kind or circle" of friends he has and the type of person they are, I've given him the same lecture. Currently I'm seeking some legal advise here if anyone can provide on how to make his friend pay us back the amount. His motive of borrowing 500 bucks from each loanshark was that he don't have intention to pay them back as 500 to each loanshark means nothing at all. That's why I suspect that he have a motive lor. My bro is broke too, hence I'm the one that helped to pay 20k. Wondering if there's a way to sue him or to make him pay us back the amount...

 

[powder]

sue the loanshark becos he was a guarantor?

the money, the act of borrowing, the act of returning... they are all Illegal activities in the eyes of the law. when u dabble in illegal activity, u're not entitled to the same protection... nor should u expect it.

 

[powderful07]

Chinese saying...
"If you knew it early early...then it wouldnt be like this liao..."

To be honest, there's no legal channels which you can seek justice..powder is right...you engage in illegal activities and you expect the POLICE and our justice system to help you?
Weird rite? It's like a drug dealer asking coast guard police to help him find back the batch of herione that he lost when he's transporting it in his boat...

Take it as a lesson learnt in knowing who your true frens are and what are the silly things that you should avoid doing...

Blur blur or not...It's still your brother decision to do it...he needs to shoulder the responsibility as well...

 

[wuga98]

Like powder said, take it as an expensive lesson. Tell your brother, "wear his eyes when he want to know frens".

I have 2 possible solutions for you, bring your brother's fren and parents to mediate and see if this can be resolve.

If first step does not bear any fruits, get a lawyer and pull a civil suit. If you have any form of proof from loan sharks, or some form of evidents that will be better. But you must bear in mind that, you may not get anything back and still incur legal cost. If for some reason you win the case, he may still not be able to pay you, hahaha. Waste time and bullet but you sure will put him shit his pants!!

 

[honeygreentea]

Yeah i understand what you guys are trying to say and that's exactly what I thought too. It's sad that he had not learnt his lesson and it's even sadder for his family members to learn on his behalf again and again. There's no way we can change his mind and no way to read his mind too. Anyway, thanks for your effort in straining your brain power to let me understand the circumstances....it's not for me and pointless for me to understand

 

[powder]

actually in any household including extended relatives... there's always that 11 fella who gets the whole family into trouble or make pple worry for him... it's not a rare thing... u just hope it's an age thing... u'll be surprised, some uncles are still that oddball after so many years! so it's good to learn the lesson early and for u guys to enforce something...

 

[powderful07]

Wisdom does not necessary comes with age...

 

[powder]

actually in any household including extended relatives... there's always that 1 fella.... not 11

 

[miloice]

Well powderful,

what do we expect. Common sense and logic isn't that common too. Let alone wisdom.

 

[olpsn]

honeygreentea

i hope ur brother realises that he's fortunate to have family members who are protective over him, and bail him out of trouble time and again.

protective - because it seemed that u viewed him as a victim (his friend is "out to cheat us") n ur anger is mostly directed at his friend.

since ur brother has not learnt his lesson this time round again, does that mean he's likely to commit the same mistake in the near future? wat would ur family do differently if that happen again? true, u can't change or read his mind. but can ur family do something to get him face part of the consequences of his action? he may learn if he feels some of the pain that u're feeling now.

if u feel strongly in seeking legal advise, try community centres - i vaguely recall that they might provide free legal counselling.

 

[jennytan37]

hi, my problem is quite similar to HoneyGreenTea except that it happens to my father. His friend photocopy his IC and borrow from a few loanshark.Now his friend had run away and we don't have enough money to pay back so "they" spray paint and write "O$P$" on the walls. The first x i make a report, the policeman said that they will look into it. After 2mths the same thing happen and my father make a report again. This x the policeman ask he to install a CCTV and show them the video. When I heard this, I feel very angry. If we have the money, y should we make a report. Might as well pay back the loanshark. Pls tell me wat can I do to stop the loanshark :<