How to stay positive during a divorce?

[NatYF84]

My hubby has been having an affair on the sly with a woman whom he knew in his school days.

This woman is quite brazen and managed to break up my marriage 2 years ago.She also convinced my hubby to take my twin teenage girls away from me.She will do extra stuff like mocking me in front of my girls and kept saying that I am the real 小三 by getting my hubby to marry me 14 years ago.

As a result,my hubby's heart was turned by her completely.

Now living everyday is quite a challenge IMO.

 

[newproject]

Sending good vibes your way.

Stay strong.

 

[MyENV]

Your husband put all the blame on you because he tried to justify his cheating. He refuses to be a responsible adult and cannot accept blame for destroying the marriage. He is a coward.

Singapore courts always gives joint custody with the mother given care and control unless the mother is found to be abusive, or neglectful of her children. His mistress is playing mind games with you. If she try to provoke you again, tell yourself to stay calm and ignore her. You may want to consider recording them down, someday it may come in handy.

My advice any conflict between you and your husband/mistress do not involve your girls. Do not make them to choose one parent over the other. Always prioritise their emotional well-being over yours. If possible, have a amicable divorce.

Your girls are teenager, they should be old enough to think for themselves. Just spend more time with your girls and remind them of your love. Gather strength from your girls. Just need to endure the whole process and things will improve after the divorce settles.

Read :
Helping Children Deal with Divorce: A Guide For Parents
(theasianparent.com)

 

[NatYF84]

Your husband put all the blame on you because he tried to justify his cheating. He refuses to be a responsible adult and cannot accept blame for destroying the marriage. He is a coward.

Singapore courts always gives joint custody with the mother given care and control unless the mother is found to be abusive, or neglectful of her children. His mistress is playing mind games with you. If she try to provoke you again, tell yourself to stay calm and ignore her. You may want to consider recording them down, someday it may come in handy.

My advice any conflict between you and your husband/mistress do not involve your girls. Do not make them to choose one parent over the other. Always prioritise their emotional well-being over yours. If possible, have a amicable divorce.

Your girls are teenager, they should be old enough to think for themselves. Just spend more time with your girls and remind them of your love. Gather strength from your girls. Just need to endure the whole process and things will improve after the divorce settles.

Read :
Helping Children Deal with Divorce: A Guide For Parents
(theasianparent.com)

Thanks for the kind advice.....

 

[eileen85]

Staying positive is hard esp during the initial stage of divorce. Family and friends support are very important. Try to spend more time with your family and friends during this period instead of cooping up at home..have meals, go shopping with them etc. You can also pick up a hobby or join classes which you have been wanting to go but no time to...practice more self love during this period. Don't let hatred consume you as it's like drinking poison but expecting others to die.

Take care!

 

[MyENV]

FYR
Read :
1) How to ruin your child’s chance of a happy love life: Have an affair— and the damage is WORSE the older they are when you stray ( by Kate Figes)
dailymail.co.uk
2) Child Custody, Care and Control & Access : Singapore Guide
singaporelegaladvice.com

 

[dorisK]

oh dear.. that's really suk big time.

 

[Whygetmarried]

I am not really sure how, but I guess accepting the divorce (regardless who is right or wrong and you know you are not the 小三), grieving the death of the marriage, forgiving them and know that you can have a better future will set you free and be a positive person? Jiayou!

 

[longroadahead]

If you want to guarantee he doesn't see the children again, PM me. I teach you all the loopholes.

 

[SIMAN]

Staying positive and strong before, during and after divorce is important. I am going through now and I know it is tough