How much did u lose for ue wedding?
- Thread starter iceblue27
- Start date
I think if you can get the ang bao for the bride's parents table.. still not that bad.. cos you have full cover and will lose less if some ppl comes with less ang bao..
Now I must crack my brain having to tell my parents that we cannot let them keep the ang bao for the table we give them..
Wedding is might to share the joy.. but apprently.. we have the headache before the joy.
Now I must crack my brain having to tell my parents that we cannot let them keep the ang bao for the table we give them..
Wedding is might to share the joy.. but apprently.. we have the headache before the joy.
Hi Janice,
Let me share with you about my family weddings.
Both my sisters got married and the groom side have to give tables to my mum. About 8 tables per wedding. Though they say tables given by the groom, the banquet are shared between my sisters and their hubbies in this modern context.
As a matter of "Mian Zi", my mum told my sisters that she cannot give all the ang pows to the couple "Openly". Because she don't want to let the groom side think that she is giving her daughter away for FREE. By right, the groom side should help out instead of the bride's side.
Unless she sees them really in need of help for the wedding. Then she will help them under the table. Not even in front of their husbands.
In fact, that depends on how much Pin Jin your hubby give her. If the amount is $1999 or less, I think it's alright to give her the few tables requested by her.
Why? Reason is because when the girls get married, the girls parents also need to fork out money for their Guo Da Li, their Jia Zhuang, brides' side tea ceremony buffet. In general, the girls parents didn't EARN much after all the deduction.
That's why I insist my hubby to give my mum tables despite sharing with him all the banquet expenses.
I've read quite a bit from the forum and I saw some girls calling their own mum "Money Minded", greedy, not automatic etc. Somehow, I wonder if they really know how much their own parents need to fork out for their wedding?
But I have to agree that nowadays, some parents doesn't know that wedding doesn't EARN as compared to a decade ago. Especially when the wedding is held at a 4-stars or 5-stars hotel.
That's why now I'm in a dilemma whether to hold my wedding in a hotel or restaurant? Recently, my brother-in-law held his wedding banquet at Marina Mandarin, there are a total of 47 tables. He still lost $5k+ after his MIL took only $3k angpow from the 8 tables given to her.
Just how I feel... = )
Let me share with you about my family weddings.
Both my sisters got married and the groom side have to give tables to my mum. About 8 tables per wedding. Though they say tables given by the groom, the banquet are shared between my sisters and their hubbies in this modern context.
As a matter of "Mian Zi", my mum told my sisters that she cannot give all the ang pows to the couple "Openly". Because she don't want to let the groom side think that she is giving her daughter away for FREE. By right, the groom side should help out instead of the bride's side.
Unless she sees them really in need of help for the wedding. Then she will help them under the table. Not even in front of their husbands.
In fact, that depends on how much Pin Jin your hubby give her. If the amount is $1999 or less, I think it's alright to give her the few tables requested by her.
Why? Reason is because when the girls get married, the girls parents also need to fork out money for their Guo Da Li, their Jia Zhuang, brides' side tea ceremony buffet. In general, the girls parents didn't EARN much after all the deduction.
That's why I insist my hubby to give my mum tables despite sharing with him all the banquet expenses.
I've read quite a bit from the forum and I saw some girls calling their own mum "Money Minded", greedy, not automatic etc. Somehow, I wonder if they really know how much their own parents need to fork out for their wedding?
But I have to agree that nowadays, some parents doesn't know that wedding doesn't EARN as compared to a decade ago. Especially when the wedding is held at a 4-stars or 5-stars hotel.
That's why now I'm in a dilemma whether to hold my wedding in a hotel or restaurant? Recently, my brother-in-law held his wedding banquet at Marina Mandarin, there are a total of 47 tables. He still lost $5k+ after his MIL took only $3k angpow from the 8 tables given to her.
Just how I feel... = )
ii_yume
Member
at first we wanted to held it at orchid country club. then the dates are taken. we chose hilltop at bukit batok instead. the ball room is very nice and magical, pillarless.
now i have a few problms too.
it was my PIL idea to held banquet. so it is very unfair to ask me parents to fork out $ for our wedding. me and my hb has not choice. then in the end, we have to fork out the deposit first.
my mum is not working. and only dad n i are giving her allowance. my dad do not earn much too. so they definitely cannot help.
until now i still confused on what my mother side shld be paying. i will be the one ended up paying for everything. my hb might help but he is already very stressed.
sometimes when talking abt $$ and wedding stuff, PIL will grumble that we had started too early.
we were like HUH? we can skip the banquet, but they cannot. so why blame us again? they wanted FACE.... so stressed... else actaully i m a very happy person.
now i have a few problms too.
it was my PIL idea to held banquet. so it is very unfair to ask me parents to fork out $ for our wedding. me and my hb has not choice. then in the end, we have to fork out the deposit first.
my mum is not working. and only dad n i are giving her allowance. my dad do not earn much too. so they definitely cannot help.
until now i still confused on what my mother side shld be paying. i will be the one ended up paying for everything. my hb might help but he is already very stressed.
sometimes when talking abt $$ and wedding stuff, PIL will grumble that we had started too early.
we were like HUH? we can skip the banquet, but they cannot. so why blame us again? they wanted FACE.... so stressed... else actaully i m a very happy person.
princey_anne
Member
Hi Pk,
I had it at M Hotel, you may refer to the thread for the comments. By the way, you are having plenty of tables and you need lots of helpers if 10% don't come you lose 8 tables.
You cannot over invite the guest due to the seating arrangements, if one or two don't come how are you are to insert the guests? Your helpers will not know what to do as they are your frds or your hubby frds. We only had 24 tables to make it simple if they don't come we don't change the seating arrangement as it will be a nightmare.
I had it at M Hotel, you may refer to the thread for the comments. By the way, you are having plenty of tables and you need lots of helpers if 10% don't come you lose 8 tables.
You cannot over invite the guest due to the seating arrangements, if one or two don't come how are you are to insert the guests? Your helpers will not know what to do as they are your frds or your hubby frds. We only had 24 tables to make it simple if they don't come we don't change the seating arrangement as it will be a nightmare.
evil_dolly
New Member
I will be holding my wedding this coming Dec. When I decided to take up the hotel package, I was sure I would make a loss. Cuz even if your relatives gives you an $80 to $100 angpow, lets not forget, we still have to buy red wine, do printing for inserts etc. So if you hold your wedding in a 5 star hotel, you probably need an angpow of at least $120 to cover your cost. But then most people esp friends will give the market rate of $100. My hb and I took a year to save up $30K cuz we want the wedding to be a celebration and we want to make sure we have enough money to cover the full wedding expenses.
I tried to minimise the loss by holding it in a 4 star hotel then but the ballroom setting was really beautiful with all the candle lights.
When inviting guests, this is what I do. I give out my wedding invitation cards early. And I make sure to check with them if they can make it. Some of my senior colleagues gave me angpows of $50 to $100 though they are not coming and I will invite other colleagues to fill the place.
For my hb and my friends, we will sms them to confirm their attendance. The phone bill will rocket but it will more or less confirm the attendance. So the guest attendance is more or less confirmed.
My parents told me they will give me a $5K angpow. So it more or less covered quite a bit of my wedding expenses. So I think I should be able to break even.
I tried to minimise the loss by holding it in a 4 star hotel then but the ballroom setting was really beautiful with all the candle lights.
When inviting guests, this is what I do. I give out my wedding invitation cards early. And I make sure to check with them if they can make it. Some of my senior colleagues gave me angpows of $50 to $100 though they are not coming and I will invite other colleagues to fill the place.
For my hb and my friends, we will sms them to confirm their attendance. The phone bill will rocket but it will more or less confirm the attendance. So the guest attendance is more or less confirmed.
My parents told me they will give me a $5K angpow. So it more or less covered quite a bit of my wedding expenses. So I think I should be able to break even.
if anyone is worried about guests not turning up for wedding, you should start checking for attendence before you send out invites. (coz usually if you send invites out after GDL, it might be too late for u to chase confirmation)
Another thing is to check with your hotel if they can set up reserve tables. If more than 10 - 12 guests didn't arrive, ask your helpers to compact the tables so that you have full 39 tables instead of the planned 40 with empty seats in a few tables. the "unopened" 40th table will not be charged if your hotel allows this.
for me, hubby and I gave my mom 5 tables (out of the 15 we had in total). We didin't give a lot of pin jin (no money! so 999 only) on my wedding day, my mom gave me a 3k ang bow. she kept most of the ang bows on her side except those that were addressed to me.
i didn't really expect my mom to give me back the ang bows anyway coz they also spent alot on my jewellery, the pin li etc.
What my friend is planning to do: give a really big fat ang bow as pin jin to her parents that is probably equivilent to the number of tables they asked for. And then she gets to keep all the ang bows from her parents side. her logic is that she will earn money from this method because her parents side will mostly invite rich relatives and friends so the ang bow will be quite alot. dunno if this is a good idea for others though.
Another thing is to check with your hotel if they can set up reserve tables. If more than 10 - 12 guests didn't arrive, ask your helpers to compact the tables so that you have full 39 tables instead of the planned 40 with empty seats in a few tables. the "unopened" 40th table will not be charged if your hotel allows this.
for me, hubby and I gave my mom 5 tables (out of the 15 we had in total). We didin't give a lot of pin jin (no money! so 999 only) on my wedding day, my mom gave me a 3k ang bow. she kept most of the ang bows on her side except those that were addressed to me.
i didn't really expect my mom to give me back the ang bows anyway coz they also spent alot on my jewellery, the pin li etc.
What my friend is planning to do: give a really big fat ang bow as pin jin to her parents that is probably equivilent to the number of tables they asked for. And then she gets to keep all the ang bows from her parents side. her logic is that she will earn money from this method because her parents side will mostly invite rich relatives and friends so the ang bow will be quite alot. dunno if this is a good idea for others though.
ii_yume
Member
i think for me, i will try to send out the invitations as early as possible. I wont be inviting too many friends. only close friends and business associates. as for my mum and PIL side i cant really control.
my hubby lagi 'cute'. he almost intend to invite all his primary-poly friends. though some of them are really close last time, they have not spoken for abt 2-3yrs or some cannot count.
i ask him to be more practical. sometimes even when u invite them, they might not want to come too. even those that say die die must come, in the end they can give all sort of excuses not to attend.
my hubby lagi 'cute'. he almost intend to invite all his primary-poly friends. though some of them are really close last time, they have not spoken for abt 2-3yrs or some cannot count.
i ask him to be more practical. sometimes even when u invite them, they might not want to come too. even those that say die die must come, in the end they can give all sort of excuses not to attend.
Hi pk and ladies,
I agree with you regarding selection of guests. I will only invite those primary and secondary good friends who I still keep in contact, at most only 6 of them, with their hubby or boyfriend, makes a table. And these friends of mine are very practical like me, if they cannot make it, they will inform me earlier. I am more than happy to accept it.
As for in-laws friends and relatives, that's the biggest headache. They happily give out invitation card to their guests without asking how many people attending. It ended up some came only 1 pax or 2 when they invited the whole family of 5. And when my BIL asked them to confirm the number of pax, if they are coming? Guess what they say, "So rude, how can you invite and ask if people coming or not?" Seriously, I feel that this is very unfair to the couple. = (
I agree with you regarding selection of guests. I will only invite those primary and secondary good friends who I still keep in contact, at most only 6 of them, with their hubby or boyfriend, makes a table. And these friends of mine are very practical like me, if they cannot make it, they will inform me earlier. I am more than happy to accept it.
As for in-laws friends and relatives, that's the biggest headache. They happily give out invitation card to their guests without asking how many people attending. It ended up some came only 1 pax or 2 when they invited the whole family of 5. And when my BIL asked them to confirm the number of pax, if they are coming? Guess what they say, "So rude, how can you invite and ask if people coming or not?" Seriously, I feel that this is very unfair to the couple. = (
princey_anne
Member
charly,
The compact of guest part I agree, our min is 25 tables so we transfer one table for food tasting.
As in the end we had 24 + 1(r), even some of the guest did not turn up we still have to open all 24 tables based on the contract.
Pk, do have a word with the hotel on this If your min is 40 you have to open 40 tables. My cousin min was 30 and only 26 tables turn up. The remaining 4 tables food was cooked and packed.
I did all my rsvp and gave my cards one month beofre the event but still some ppl cannot turn up even it is on a sat. For a wedding of 40 tables you might have to start late. We had plan for finger food for guests who arrive early.
The compact of guest part I agree, our min is 25 tables so we transfer one table for food tasting.
As in the end we had 24 + 1(r), even some of the guest did not turn up we still have to open all 24 tables based on the contract.
Pk, do have a word with the hotel on this If your min is 40 you have to open 40 tables. My cousin min was 30 and only 26 tables turn up. The remaining 4 tables food was cooked and packed.
I did all my rsvp and gave my cards one month beofre the event but still some ppl cannot turn up even it is on a sat. For a wedding of 40 tables you might have to start late. We had plan for finger food for guests who arrive early.
victoria_ching088
New Member
I have a suggestion..if you r a risk taker...
if you have 30 tables + 2 Reserved..invite full 32 tables of guests.Usually they are sure some No turn up in last mintue. Just pray tat it is not that suay tat all ppl so ON turn up and bring more ppl~
if you have 30 tables + 2 Reserved..invite full 32 tables of guests.Usually they are sure some No turn up in last mintue. Just pray tat it is not that suay tat all ppl so ON turn up and bring more ppl~
ii_yume
Member
mine is at hilltop. held at the ballroom but is still under the restaurant. so if tables not open we can still go back to eat up. i tot abt alcohol $$$ too. that;s why we choose there. the alcohol is free flow. so we dun have to bother abt the extra $$ we have to fork out.
we may invite 10% more people... ^_^
we may invite 10% more people... ^_^
princey_anne
Member
Pk,
Wat's the min table for your ballroom?
Wat's the min table for your ballroom?
princey_anne
Member
Blur Blur,
Wat's the small ang bao? Someone gave me $10 I wonder if it is a prank?
BTW, for your break-even means the dinner including wine is paid for right? Mine is everything like wine, card printing, finger food to the dinner is paid for.
Wat's the small ang bao? Someone gave me $10 I wonder if it is a prank?
BTW, for your break-even means the dinner including wine is paid for right? Mine is everything like wine, card printing, finger food to the dinner is paid for.
ii_yume
Member
hi anne, the min is 45. i have the picture of the ballroom at my blog.
http://paulinekum.blogspot.com/2006/11/hill-top-garden-ballroom.html
http://paulinekum.blogspot.com/2006/11/hill-top-garden-ballroom.html
shermaine24sg
Member
What I did for my wedding last week was I confirmed 1 table less with the hotel. I had 39 tables of guests based on my guest list, but I only confirmed 38 tables. I thought at least I would not need to pay for 1 more table should there were few people who could not turn up last minute. If I had over shot by a few, I could still arrange them fill up those empty seats or add more seats to certain tables. I was lucky that 1 table of people really did not turn up on that day so I opened exactly 38 tables. If that day I had more than 38 tables, I still have 1 reserve table as back up (I had 38 tables + 2 reserved)
pk, wow your venue has free flow of alcohol.
yes, usually hotel lets us to have 1-2 reserve tables. and they let u squeeze some guests to other tables.
for parents and PIL side, i think most parents will cooperate if they know you are the ones paying for the banquet. so that no matter what happens, the number of guests not turning up is minimised.
just remember to get your helpers to remind people and confirm their attendance again ard 7- 5 days before your AD. then if anything happens you can do up the seating plans etc etc
yes, usually hotel lets us to have 1-2 reserve tables. and they let u squeeze some guests to other tables.
for parents and PIL side, i think most parents will cooperate if they know you are the ones paying for the banquet. so that no matter what happens, the number of guests not turning up is minimised.
just remember to get your helpers to remind people and confirm their attendance again ard 7- 5 days before your AD. then if anything happens you can do up the seating plans etc etc
princey_anne
Member
Blur Blur,
I only got one $10, I think it is a prank by my frds.
I only got one $10, I think it is a prank by my frds.
ii_yume
Member
actally i heard of the worst case. a particular bride is not a very nice person, so actaully a lot of people from her trade/industry do not like her. then she actaully received those 'paper $' which is meant for the dead.
some people oso received coin or $2 note. people dun like them so the guest actaully do such thing to the ang bao...
some people oso received coin or $2 note. people dun like them so the guest actaully do such thing to the ang bao...
princey_anne
Member
Pk,
Your ballroom is very nice, enjoy your wedding. Btw, I counted the red packets, the $10 is extra and I think I know who did the prank cos he kept asking me the lowest i got for the ang pao.
Since you are having so many tables do you have a big recept area?
Your ballroom is very nice, enjoy your wedding. Btw, I counted the red packets, the $10 is extra and I think I know who did the prank cos he kept asking me the lowest i got for the ang pao.
Since you are having so many tables do you have a big recept area?
shermaine24sg
Member
Hi Blur,
I had my wedding at Marriott and it was on a Tuesday
I had my wedding at Marriott and it was on a Tuesday
anne, good.. at least it's just a prank. kekeke.. the $40 i recieve which is from a relative who is not very rich.. so my daddy did not take the angbao and return to her.. some of our relatives are pretty old not not working, so my dad did not take their redpacket. he say as long they turn up for dinner is the most impt thing.. keke. that's y i say i m very heng to break even lo
I'm gonna book my wedding banquet soon but as it's 1 year in advance, I really dunno how to decide how to plan so that I can breakeven or minimize losses.
Mine will be a Sunday dinner and my FH and I will have to pay for it ourselves. However, my mum will not be taking any tables.
Any advice?
Mine will be a Sunday dinner and my FH and I will have to pay for it ourselves. However, my mum will not be taking any tables.
Any advice?
fifi,
actually 1 year in advance is quite a good time to start hunting, esp yours is a Sat dinner. and good that your mom is NOT taking any tables, you have less worries... probably you can even earn $ from your banquet to cover costs for other stuff! usually people lose money because of the ang bows given to the brides' family. (but that technically shouldn't be considered as a loss but more like wedding expenditure)
This is what i did for my wedding: You must think of how much most of your guests (ur friends, FH friends, relatives) are going to pay for your Sat dinner. (this will of course depends on the 'type' of venue) if say u thinking of 5 star hotel, i guess on the average u will get, say $100 a guest? (or whatever the market rate it is for a normal 5 star hotel sat dinner)
Then look at the different 5 star hotels, ask ard for their prices, whichever that is ard $100 per person is the one you should probably go for, if the perks are not as good as the $130 hotels, don't worry, you can always bargain for more. Take taxes and also drinks (house wine, your own wine and corkage) into consideration if you have a large party. Also remember to include 1 table's worth of money into the loss because that's the bridal table.
If you don't mind losing a bit of money, you can set the max amount you willing to lose on the total, say $3000. take that divided by the total number of guests (say 300?) is $10 per guest. So you probably can look for hotels in the $110 range...
For me, i had a sunday lunch, so i know most people are probably giving $60. my lunch venue was $70 per person, I aimed for a max $3000 loss with the worst case scenario that average ang bow was $50, but most of our guests give $80 (though some gave $50) and we were abt to break-even even though we gave my mom abt 4 tables.
Do u have a wedding budget worksheet to help you calculate the expected and final amount of spending? because that would help alot for the banquet thingy, especially in earlier part of the wedding planning.
actually 1 year in advance is quite a good time to start hunting, esp yours is a Sat dinner. and good that your mom is NOT taking any tables, you have less worries... probably you can even earn $ from your banquet to cover costs for other stuff! usually people lose money because of the ang bows given to the brides' family. (but that technically shouldn't be considered as a loss but more like wedding expenditure)
This is what i did for my wedding: You must think of how much most of your guests (ur friends, FH friends, relatives) are going to pay for your Sat dinner. (this will of course depends on the 'type' of venue) if say u thinking of 5 star hotel, i guess on the average u will get, say $100 a guest? (or whatever the market rate it is for a normal 5 star hotel sat dinner)
Then look at the different 5 star hotels, ask ard for their prices, whichever that is ard $100 per person is the one you should probably go for, if the perks are not as good as the $130 hotels, don't worry, you can always bargain for more. Take taxes and also drinks (house wine, your own wine and corkage) into consideration if you have a large party. Also remember to include 1 table's worth of money into the loss because that's the bridal table.
If you don't mind losing a bit of money, you can set the max amount you willing to lose on the total, say $3000. take that divided by the total number of guests (say 300?) is $10 per guest. So you probably can look for hotels in the $110 range...
For me, i had a sunday lunch, so i know most people are probably giving $60. my lunch venue was $70 per person, I aimed for a max $3000 loss with the worst case scenario that average ang bow was $50, but most of our guests give $80 (though some gave $50) and we were abt to break-even even though we gave my mom abt 4 tables.
Do u have a wedding budget worksheet to help you calculate the expected and final amount of spending? because that would help alot for the banquet thingy, especially in earlier part of the wedding planning.
Hi charly,
Thanks for your advice. I'm actually looking at Holiday Inn Park View at $738 per table. My bridal table "loss" will be covered cos I'm not gonna have food tasting and they can waive off 1 table for that.
I'm not sure how to gauge how much my guests will give. How much do you think people will give for a Sunday dinner at HIPV?
I created my own excel worksheet but am not sure if I covered all angles. Do you have 1 to share with me? If yes, please email to [email protected]. Thanks.
Thanks for your advice. I'm actually looking at Holiday Inn Park View at $738 per table. My bridal table "loss" will be covered cos I'm not gonna have food tasting and they can waive off 1 table for that.
I'm not sure how to gauge how much my guests will give. How much do you think people will give for a Sunday dinner at HIPV?
I created my own excel worksheet but am not sure if I covered all angles. Do you have 1 to share with me? If yes, please email to [email protected]. Thanks.
princey_anne
Member
Fifi,
Don't worry cos since you have one foc table it will be about $700 per tables, at most you lose the drink $$. I had two tables for food tasting and I also broke even.
Don't worry cos since you have one foc table it will be about $700 per tables, at most you lose the drink $$. I had two tables for food tasting and I also broke even.
Hey fifi,
mailed you the spreadsheet already. it's a modification of martha stewart's version!
anyway, for sunday dinner i guess most guests will give $80 or $100? worse case scenario you assume everyone giving you $70 bah... so how much will you lose u get $70 each?
drinkswise, is it wine you are looking at? or most of your guests are not wine drinkers? look for wine sales that is all i can say, or buy from ntuc /carrefor so you can refund back all the unopened reds.
mailed you the spreadsheet already. it's a modification of martha stewart's version!
anyway, for sunday dinner i guess most guests will give $80 or $100? worse case scenario you assume everyone giving you $70 bah... so how much will you lose u get $70 each?
drinkswise, is it wine you are looking at? or most of your guests are not wine drinkers? look for wine sales that is all i can say, or buy from ntuc /carrefor so you can refund back all the unopened reds.
Hi Charly
I believe you were a GHA bride - saw your postings in that thread .. me too
Can you also email me the wedding budget spreadsheet pls - [email protected]. I am also having a Sunday luncheon in Jan 2007 for my AD. Many Thanks.
I believe you were a GHA bride - saw your postings in that thread .. me too
Can you also email me the wedding budget spreadsheet pls - [email protected]. I am also having a Sunday luncheon in Jan 2007 for my AD. Many Thanks.
hi people, i know it is quite inappropraite to discuss this here... but i want to chk with u gals, what is the biggest amt you would give to your friends wedding and why?
My grp of friends are thinkin of giving this gal $168. i was utterly shocked. the biggest amt i have given so far is only $80. to a good friend, not the closest type.
pls advise.
My grp of friends are thinkin of giving this gal $168. i was utterly shocked. the biggest amt i have given so far is only $80. to a good friend, not the closest type.
pls advise.
princey_anne
Member
Hi,
It depends some places i gave 60, or 80 or 120 for hotels. Sometimes i bring along hard liquor as well as and red packet if they need some "help"
I feel less is okay as long as the guests turns up even $40 better then $0.
For examples, if 10% miss your wedding you will lose 2-3 tables. I think you will not bother to rearrange the seats if you do so it is not too nice and it takes alot of manpower. As long as the place is not at a hotel normally they get $60 the couple can make $$. As for hotel some ppl still give $60 or $88 for two paxs but you can't blame them as long as they turn up on time we should be happy.One of my friend is thinking of making $$ from the dinner she plans it on a weekend 5 stars hotel and kept telling us it is 900 plus table. But I went to the same wedding show for the hotel last year, after all the perks + discount in it is only $800/= And worst she told me to drink beer as I understand the hotel has free flow on weekend wedding. She only plans to open 30 bottles of wine at most. As my weding is over, I finally understand the feeling as long as your guest turns up you will be happy and the $$ is secondary some is more and some less it is the joy in it not knowing how much ppl gave you.
It depends some places i gave 60, or 80 or 120 for hotels. Sometimes i bring along hard liquor as well as and red packet if they need some "help"
I feel less is okay as long as the guests turns up even $40 better then $0.
For examples, if 10% miss your wedding you will lose 2-3 tables. I think you will not bother to rearrange the seats if you do so it is not too nice and it takes alot of manpower. As long as the place is not at a hotel normally they get $60 the couple can make $$. As for hotel some ppl still give $60 or $88 for two paxs but you can't blame them as long as they turn up on time we should be happy.One of my friend is thinking of making $$ from the dinner she plans it on a weekend 5 stars hotel and kept telling us it is 900 plus table. But I went to the same wedding show for the hotel last year, after all the perks + discount in it is only $800/= And worst she told me to drink beer as I understand the hotel has free flow on weekend wedding. She only plans to open 30 bottles of wine at most. As my weding is over, I finally understand the feeling as long as your guest turns up you will be happy and the $$ is secondary some is more and some less it is the joy in it not knowing how much ppl gave you.
my grp of friends actaully tell me that we should all be standard and give the same rate..
my hubby is very angry when i told him that. I felt a bit confused. as we are not that RICH and we are planning for our own wedding too and is budgeting at almost everything.
to my thinking is that, you choose a expensive venue and cannot expect your guest to really pay for your banquet. to me, so long as my guest come, i am happy. but those friends definitely think otherwise. they are telling me, her banquet is so expensive and she spend so much and so.. of coz, i know it is not cheap to have a banquet but some people just see things diff.
my hubby is very angry when i told him that. I felt a bit confused. as we are not that RICH and we are planning for our own wedding too and is budgeting at almost everything.
to my thinking is that, you choose a expensive venue and cannot expect your guest to really pay for your banquet. to me, so long as my guest come, i am happy. but those friends definitely think otherwise. they are telling me, her banquet is so expensive and she spend so much and so.. of coz, i know it is not cheap to have a banquet but some people just see things diff.
$168 for 2 pax or 1 pax? Are you a jie mei or not?
If you are not jie mei:
--> $168 for 2 pax is not too much. It's $84 per pax. As a good friend, it is agar agar market rate amount for a non 5* hotel for 2006 weddings.
--> $168 for 1 pax is not necessary unless you are really rich and $168 is not much to you.
If you are jie mei:
--> $168 for 2 pax is a bit too little. She (and maybe even her parents) will give you a jie mei hong pao. Although that is to thank you for your help, as a good friend, my opinion is that you may want to "return" it in your ang pao cos you are helping her cos she is your friend & not for the ang pao.
--> $168 for 1 pax. Depends on hotel and how much her you think her jie mei hong pao will be.
If you are not jie mei:
--> $168 for 2 pax is not too much. It's $84 per pax. As a good friend, it is agar agar market rate amount for a non 5* hotel for 2006 weddings.
--> $168 for 1 pax is not necessary unless you are really rich and $168 is not much to you.
If you are jie mei:
--> $168 for 2 pax is a bit too little. She (and maybe even her parents) will give you a jie mei hong pao. Although that is to thank you for your help, as a good friend, my opinion is that you may want to "return" it in your ang pao cos you are helping her cos she is your friend & not for the ang pao.
--> $168 for 1 pax. Depends on hotel and how much her you think her jie mei hong pao will be.
yukikodawasan
New Member
Hi Ladies,
Just my 2 cents worth. I think just give a reasonable amt that you are comfortable with. Normally I will base on the closeness I have with the bride or groom. If just a normal friend, I think the basic is $80. pk, you are right, we can't be expecting our guests to pay for our banquet, the most impt thing is their presence and their sincerity.
If your friend is expecting the guests to cover the costs, I think she should be looking for a cheaper hotel rather than spending so much on the banquet. So I think she may think the same way as you. So no worries, just give an amt you prefer, an amt that makes everyone happy and satisfying...
Just my 2 cents worth. I think just give a reasonable amt that you are comfortable with. Normally I will base on the closeness I have with the bride or groom. If just a normal friend, I think the basic is $80. pk, you are right, we can't be expecting our guests to pay for our banquet, the most impt thing is their presence and their sincerity.
If your friend is expecting the guests to cover the costs, I think she should be looking for a cheaper hotel rather than spending so much on the banquet. So I think she may think the same way as you. So no worries, just give an amt you prefer, an amt that makes everyone happy and satisfying...
princey_anne
Member
Dear all,
I also feel that the cost has to be borne by the groom and bride as for the guests even they do not gave any $$ but presents they are all acceptable. If they want the guests to pay for the wedding or profit from it the ideal of wedding is totally wrong.
I also feel that the cost has to be borne by the groom and bride as for the guests even they do not gave any $$ but presents they are all acceptable. If they want the guests to pay for the wedding or profit from it the ideal of wedding is totally wrong.
I agree with the idea that we cannot expect our guests to cover all our costs for the wedding. If we want to cover a larger % of our costs, we should find a slightly cheaper venue.
That said, I think guests who can afford it should zhi4 dong4 a bit and give decent ang paos. You were invited cos the couple values your friendship. As a friend, you would want to help the couple a bit and not let them have to spend so much just cos they wanted to share their joy with the people who mean something to them.
It's a balance. Personally, I give $80-$120 for hotels or similar and $60-$88 for restaurants or similar. Cos I'm getting married too, I have some sense on how much each hotel costs. I will try to give as much as I can to cover their banquet costs & a bit more to help with their other wedding expenses.
Oh ya, it's a cycle. People attending your weddings normally won't give less than what you gave them during theirs.
That said, I think guests who can afford it should zhi4 dong4 a bit and give decent ang paos. You were invited cos the couple values your friendship. As a friend, you would want to help the couple a bit and not let them have to spend so much just cos they wanted to share their joy with the people who mean something to them.
It's a balance. Personally, I give $80-$120 for hotels or similar and $60-$88 for restaurants or similar. Cos I'm getting married too, I have some sense on how much each hotel costs. I will try to give as much as I can to cover their banquet costs & a bit more to help with their other wedding expenses.
Oh ya, it's a cycle. People attending your weddings normally won't give less than what you gave them during theirs.