Sorry to hear. Must be hard during the holidays.
Care to share more on what happened?
As per topic above.
Husband cheated on me and I am currently considering a divorce.
Make him pay with the womens charter. Our best weapon for revenge
Is it quite cruel to use the WC?
Hi ,
My advice to you is try to go for mediation with your husband and then for children’s welfare there might be a way to have a room and with a proper child counsellor around just for guidance (only if needed) and explain it properly.
Mediation sessions are available in some family law firms. Let me know if you need more details on that.
I hope your child will be able to take it well, don’t stop working on your relationship with her .
I’m sure when she grows up she will perhaps understand it better .
Then again, divorce situations with young kids is never easy. Hope that it will be a less nasty one for you, ur husband and your kids .
Whatever the comments are here, I’m sure you do have the wisdom to know what’s the best. Go with your mother instinct and love to explain your best to ur kids .
Thanks...Just that he left the house just like that and left us stunned.
My younger daughter is still angry with me though just because her dad was no longer living at home.
Agreed with some of the others here. It is best to seek a family counselor/children's counselor. They are in a better position to explain it to your kids, they are trained to do so. The counselors can help kids cope with grief and loss, etc. Your kids will understand it in time to come. Give them time.
Please don't underestimate the importance of letting your kids see a counselor/therapist. If you don't, they may grow up with unresolved issues in their heart because they do not know how to handle and manage these confusing emotions themselves. Help them work with a counselor/therapist to do so. It will really help their mental and emotional well-being.
Oh and, help your kids to restore a sense of normalcy in life. Don't keep focusing on the loss. Help them to regain confidence (at the same time, you help yourself regain happiness and confidence too). For example, from time to time, bring your kids out like 'hey let's go see the CNY lights (now is getting closer to CNY liao..) together..' 'hey let's go get some ice-cream together, do you want some dessert? : )!' or 'let's go cycling at East Coast Park', and maybe ask your more trustworthy cousins/aunts (good if they can bring their young kids too if they have).
Help your kids get life back to normal, so all of you cannot just coop yourselves up at home. The sense of loss will be in the house for a long time and that is not healthy.
ok that's really good. I'm happy that your ILs are supportive of you and they do not support their son and what he is doing. I know that in many cases, usually ILs won't even want to get involved at all and sometimes they still support their own son who has done the wrong deeds.My ILs had disowned their son because he refused to get back with me.
They told my girls that they are better off with Mommy.Daddy had done something wrong so Grandpa and Grandma are very angry with him.
My ILs had made it clear to him that he is no longer their son until the day he leaves that woman.
Problem is my 2nd daughter is convinced that I am trying to be mean by chasing her dad away whereas her dad was unfaithful to me at first.
She makes me lose patience with her sometimes.
Hi, I suppose your gal is very close to her dad? I advise you not let your marriage interfere with your bond with your children. Ask for them to not take sides for they do not understand nor in the position to judge, let the parents settle their divorce. At the same time, you shouldn't try to influence them to take sides. They are growing and will naturally have a mind of their own. Just be open and truthful in your conversations with them. It is what it is, there will be differing opinions. When they experience their own relationships conflicts and challenges, they will learn.
Ask your lawyer about how the women's charter can help you take revengr. It can help you ruin his life and make sure he can never marry again without the alimony burdening him. Let him commit suicide one day over stress and you automatically take over his money and everything he owns. You have a right to protect yourself. These local men are all so cmi.Hi,thanks...Have spoken to a lawyer and explained to my girls about why we are not together.
Wow
ok that's really good. I'm happy that your ILs are supportive of you and they do not support their son and what he is doing. I know that in many cases, usually ILs won't even want to get involved at all and sometimes they still support their own son who has done the wrong deeds.
Sometimes the woman's (the wife who is the victim)'s parents also don't even support their daughter and may even scare the woman into staying on in the doomed marriage.
So it is good to know your ILs are supportive with you through this and that they are not condoning his bad behaviour. (Y)
I will not poison their minds against their father.I will emphasise on mutual respect for everyone around them.
I was in the same situation as your daughters. My dad cheated on my mom with a colleague which resulted in a divorce. I was only 9, my brothers were 8 and 5. To be honest, it won’t affect your daughters much. As when they grow older, they will learn to understand the truth. Whether you poison them a not, it will affect their view on their father when they are older. As when my brothers and I were in secondary school, we hated our father for the shit he done and felt sad for my mom.
From my experience, try not to let your daughter go out with your husband mistress. As when my bro and I were young, we didn’t understand, hence we hang out with my dad and his mistress. Until we were older, we felt so disgusted and sinful as after every meeting, we will be telling our mom about the fun stuffs we’ve done. We were so young then, we didn’t know it will hurt her. Thinking about it now. I wish my mom have prevented us from going out with our dad and his mistress.