I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years, and we're set to tie the knot on 26th May this year. However, recently I've found out many ugly truths about him. I'm beyond hurt and have avoided talking to him or meeting him for the past week. I would answer his calls and reply his messages, but will always tell him that I'm busy. Maybe I should enlighten you on the series of unfortunate events.
Our relationship began souring more than two years ago, due to his habitual lying, even about trivial matters such as meeting up with his buddies. For example, if he went to meet a friend for a chat before picking me up from work, he would tell me he went to the market to buy groceries when I ask. And he also started having flirtationships with a few girls on Facebook, exchanging contact numbers, talking on the phone for hours, meeting up behind my back but maintaining that they are "just friends". We broke up soon after I returned from an overseas trip. He dumped me without any reasons given. Fair enough, I left him alone after that. About six months later, we bumped into one another and began contacting all over again. And 3 months after that, we got back together after much thought and discussion. We both promised to work on the relationship and we had an absolutely better relationship and communication thereafter...or so I thought.
I've always thought that he changed to be a much better and a more matured man after getting back together. We rarely had any arguments or misunderstanding. However, recently, I caught him chatting up a few girls on Facebook, and the vicious cycle repeats... I only found out when he asked me to log in to his account and retrieve certain information from one of the messages his friend had sent to him. Out of curiosity, I scrolled to archived messages and saw many conversations with other girls. My bf isn't aware that by clicking "x", his messages aren't deleted, but gets archived instead. I confronted him about this, and he insists that he has stopped. I believed him, as the latest conversation was about 2 months ago.
Now, about a week ago, I was playing games on his iPhone and suddenly Whatsapp chat messages came up from an unknown (unsaved) number, asking to meet that night. And so I read through the chat history and was appalled that they had been meeting! I confronted him that very night. As it always goes, he apologised profusely and even cried when I said I've had enough. I told him to stop contacting the girl and tell her to do likewise or I'll do the honours. I also told him that another such incident, and I'm gone for good.
Two days later, while he was sleeping, his phone rang continuously with calls and messages. And yup you guessed it right, it was from the same number. I replied to the messages, pretending to be him and asked to meet. She agreed. I then woke him up and dragged him along with me to meet "a friend of mine". They were both shocked when we met. We sat down and talked and I uncovered many truths. Turns out, this lady has a boyfriend as well. I didn't waste much time, I told him I was done with him and I walked away. I then did a search on Facebook for the lady's bf, and sent him a friend request.
Before even accepting my request, he sent me a message. Apparently he knows who I am and had some things to tell me. I emailed him the chat history between me(pretending to be my bf) and her. What he told me shocked me even more. My bf had been asking her for sex. I don't even want to know if they did.
Now, I'm just worried of my next step. It's only three months away and even though I've called it quits with him, none of our family members are aware. He's been apologising and crying for me to come back. But all I want to do now is to walk far away from him. A little part of me wants to forgive him and take him back but I think I've had more than enough with this man. I doubt that he'll ever change. I am thoroughly upset, disappointed, disgusted and even ashamed. I love him alot, but I don't think just love will bring us anywhere. I cannot convince myself that this is the man I want to marry, because he's proven that he's everything I never wanted...
Our relationship began souring more than two years ago, due to his habitual lying, even about trivial matters such as meeting up with his buddies. For example, if he went to meet a friend for a chat before picking me up from work, he would tell me he went to the market to buy groceries when I ask. And he also started having flirtationships with a few girls on Facebook, exchanging contact numbers, talking on the phone for hours, meeting up behind my back but maintaining that they are "just friends". We broke up soon after I returned from an overseas trip. He dumped me without any reasons given. Fair enough, I left him alone after that. About six months later, we bumped into one another and began contacting all over again. And 3 months after that, we got back together after much thought and discussion. We both promised to work on the relationship and we had an absolutely better relationship and communication thereafter...or so I thought.
I've always thought that he changed to be a much better and a more matured man after getting back together. We rarely had any arguments or misunderstanding. However, recently, I caught him chatting up a few girls on Facebook, and the vicious cycle repeats... I only found out when he asked me to log in to his account and retrieve certain information from one of the messages his friend had sent to him. Out of curiosity, I scrolled to archived messages and saw many conversations with other girls. My bf isn't aware that by clicking "x", his messages aren't deleted, but gets archived instead. I confronted him about this, and he insists that he has stopped. I believed him, as the latest conversation was about 2 months ago.
Now, about a week ago, I was playing games on his iPhone and suddenly Whatsapp chat messages came up from an unknown (unsaved) number, asking to meet that night. And so I read through the chat history and was appalled that they had been meeting! I confronted him that very night. As it always goes, he apologised profusely and even cried when I said I've had enough. I told him to stop contacting the girl and tell her to do likewise or I'll do the honours. I also told him that another such incident, and I'm gone for good.
Two days later, while he was sleeping, his phone rang continuously with calls and messages. And yup you guessed it right, it was from the same number. I replied to the messages, pretending to be him and asked to meet. She agreed. I then woke him up and dragged him along with me to meet "a friend of mine". They were both shocked when we met. We sat down and talked and I uncovered many truths. Turns out, this lady has a boyfriend as well. I didn't waste much time, I told him I was done with him and I walked away. I then did a search on Facebook for the lady's bf, and sent him a friend request.
Before even accepting my request, he sent me a message. Apparently he knows who I am and had some things to tell me. I emailed him the chat history between me(pretending to be my bf) and her. What he told me shocked me even more. My bf had been asking her for sex. I don't even want to know if they did.
Now, I'm just worried of my next step. It's only three months away and even though I've called it quits with him, none of our family members are aware. He's been apologising and crying for me to come back. But all I want to do now is to walk far away from him. A little part of me wants to forgive him and take him back but I think I've had more than enough with this man. I doubt that he'll ever change. I am thoroughly upset, disappointed, disgusted and even ashamed. I love him alot, but I don't think just love will bring us anywhere. I cannot convince myself that this is the man I want to marry, because he's proven that he's everything I never wanted...
Just thinking of how to tell the parents...
