[HELP] Getting to know a girl better?

Erm.. Actually i dont think i was interrogating her during the conversation.. rather i tried to lead her to some discussion so that i can get some answers from her.. But somehow, her replies were those one-liner types and she didnt really bother about it by asking more from me..

By the way, i've done communications modules in uni before, and i know what it means to be monopolizing the conversation..but i really did not !!! Rather, i tried to focus on topics that might be of interest so that i can just continue the conversation with her..but apparently, this did not work..

And just to add.. this happened during the 3 times we spoke on msn..so i'm just wondering if it's a sign or something?
 


hi Steve, u r on msn. when one isn't replying much, it could simply be occupied with something else.

Don't read too much into a msn session.

Take it cool. Don't need to read into everything and perceive it as some hint or something. If it works good, else keep your radal wider lah.
 
steve,

i dun understand why u keep looking for a sign... what sign? the sign of rejection?

just tell her (in person) that u like her, u want to be more than frens...and the WORST case scenario u may get is kena rejected... ok?

gd luck...
 
Don't read too much.

Not everyone likes to MSN.

I am wondering after so long you are still looking for some signs? Some hints that she has no interest in you.

In this case, just be more daring lah.. just ask her out point blank - it will save you agony.
 
Steve, stop hesitating and beat around the bush. You are just like my friend who is the best male on earth and it turns out that he either becomes the best male friend to females or being used for by the females he like.

It turns out who is at the losing end? Pick up your courage and talk to her in face. Ask her out for a dinner. Transformers is starting this week so take this chance to ask her out for a blockbuster movie. Ask her out for coffee. If she likes sports, ask her out for jog/cycle/swim. Singapore is small but there are still alot of activities you can do for a weekend.
 
"WORST case scenario u may get is kena rejected... ok?"

Exactly, cut the guessing. These are for teenagers and primary school kids. No communication modules in university or any school is going to teach you that. I tell u, when u finally date someone, u will be surprise how many more hints and guesses you can have. The more you play this guessing game the more confused u will be. You can talk to 100 people to seek their advise. All will tell u the same. STOP GUESSING.
 
You are just like my friend who is the best male on earth and it turns out that he either becomes the best male friend to females or being used for by the females he like.

I agree wholeheartedly with cowcow on this description. It describes you perfectly Steve.

MSN isn't really the best medium to ascertain whether she likes you or not. I find that talking to my good friends on MSN is so boring that I have to cut the convo short. For some reason, we can chat til the cows come home in person, but have nothing to say to each other online. Likewise, I know ppl with whom I have so much to say to on MSN, but in person, we have absolutely nothing to say to one another.

Some girls like to do the playing-hard-to-get thing. Personally I don't understand it, but you'll be surprised how warped the female brain is. Like Milo said, I tell u, when u finally date someone, u will be surprise how many more hints and guesses you can have.

So many ppl have already given you their advise. Seriously, cut the wishy-washy crap. The guys have provided you with so many ways of initiating your approach. If she rejects you, at least you know for sure where you stand.
 
Hi people.. thanks so much for all the advice.. i really appreciate it ! yes.. i will try my best to ask her out.. but is it ok if i ask her out for coffee on the pretext of work?
 
steve, ask her out, don't need excuse related to work. Just tell her, u r going for a coffee break and invite her to join u.

Best of luck and have fun bro. Cheers.
 
wah lan eh.. ask for coffee only also must need reason?

You know something call talk cock or not.. i talk cock and drink coffee with many people all the time.. no need reason one.
 
hi Steve,

try to think more in the shoes of a gal. Would you take a liking or be impressed with a guy that is always talking about work. And even drink coffee, also must be work related. Man! That's a really boring guy!

To get her interested, u should be more spontenous and fun. Let lose your fun and cheeky side abit lah. Don't worry that you will overdo it. From what you have described so far, u tend to be too reserved and afraid. JUST DO IT BRO.
 
steve, instead of using work as an excuse to ask her out for coffee, why dont you say that you have a coffee voucher or recently you were in love with certain coffee flavour and wanted to share with her?

these are much better excuses to ask for a coffee break (from a female point of view).. there are always good excuses and you just have to be creative!

I ever went on a date with a male colleague with him just saying, "eh.. think this friday is too early to go home, you wana go for dinner and drink?" He often stay with me for OT and this became a rather casual thing when he asked.

Just be thick skin and ask! dont be afraid of rejection...
 
well... how's this. "my mum didn't cook tonight. Wanna go out for dinner this evening."

My hot babe colleague used that line. Too bad, I shut down my PC already and only saw the email on the following monday.
 
You could also say something like "hey want to go for coffee? my treat" or "eh transformers coming out!! wanna go watch? my treat"

Keep it casual.. don't get tongue-tied or stutter or make it sound like a proposal eg "Um.. Are you busy now? *twitch* I have a question to ask you. *sweat sweat* It's a very important question. *scratch here scratch there* Will you go out for coffee with me?" pengzzz
 
yesh.. and after movie you can come out with excuse like.. "are you hungry? wanna grab a bite?"

Ok.. or you can be like "hey.. there this place ABC with very nice scenary and the drinks or food are not bad. Do you wana join me?"
 
Thank you all for the advice ! i suppose this is something that everyone needs to go through, cuz if everyone was like me, there wouldnt be any couples at all !!
 
finally you see the light.. practice make perfect...

soon you will be hooking up girls after girls

=D
 
errr.. you don't even know if the girl likes you. if she doesn't, you have to move on right? i hope you're not the type that just pine away longing for this 1 girl for your entire life....
 
there are so many fishes/trees/cais out there.

first of all like it was mention you don't even know if she like you.

Secondly even if she like you, you need to know each other more so to see if both of you are compatible.

There are still so many IF now..
 
steve, it has nothing to do with contented with one gal or not. We grow thr the unique experiences we go thr. There are alot of people that don't date inexperienced lovers because they don't want to waste their time and frustrations in 'training' the person from scratch.

We are what we are today because of our past. Every relationship, rejection, failures make what we are today. When we find someone so mature and compatible, similarly, its because of her rich history that mould her personality that u r so fond of. Actually, for most of the people, the one benefiting from all the nuturing isn't the one they married.
 
hi all.. thanks so much for all the advice and encouragement.. yeah, i understand that we grow and become wiser with experience.. so no worries that i'll just be smitten by just one gal..there are so many other trees out in the forest !!


anyway, i havent been in office lately as i'm down with the flu (don worry, it's not H1N1!).. will try my best to ask her out when i'm back in office..
 
Hey Steve!

Your thread has some similarity to the Japan drama "Train Man: Densha Otoko".
It's about a geek fallen in love with a lady she met in the train. He's quite like you, shy and reserve. It's a humorous, touching romantic adventure. Go watch it! See how he conquers his fear and gain the confidence to go after the woman of his desire so much. :-)

Great that you started to think positive. It's a good sign. Be confident! Many women admire confident men.(not arrogant or proud attitude). Be it the outcome good or bad. It's good to have another friend.

Good luck steve!
 
well recover soon and all the best on your journey... once u've taken your first step and if u've run out of ideas or have a tough time, i could consider sharing with u some ways of melting the girl, but until u're sure, it's just gonna be a wasted tip.
 
hi guys .. will be going back to office tomorrow.. chatted with her online a few days ago.. but it was about office stuff as well.. i'm not sure if there is enough rapport between us for me to ask her out.. what do u all think?

by the way, i'm not trying to chicken out.. but i need a better asssessment of the situation lest she gets freaked out at this stage and avoids me forever..
 
Steve I believe chatting about office stuff will not help you at all..

you portrait yourself as uninteresting..

sooner or later she will label u as a boring guy know nothing but office things
 
wah leow.... what's there to lose? u r doing nothing more than assessment after assessment for what?

if the gal like u, u can talk rubbish, and she will thinks its cute still. Stop taking the whole thing so seriously because it is going make you more tense and probably the atmosphere awkward. Remember, have fun. If u guys are seriously having fun, even if she has no intention or interest to develop further with it, it will not be so weird.

Gals will avoid the guy when it becomes awkward. So, stop this non stop assessments and analysis. Try to have fun hanging out and interacting with her. Frankly, if she is comfortable with you, chances would be alot higher. And not all these non stop analysis and interaction with her about work.

Even if you want to approach her through MSN, u still need to let her get comfortable to talk more personal stuffs with you. Be that listening ear and validating her concerns. And at appropriate times, offer 'brotherly mature' advises.
 
steve,

u r wasting time deliberating!

do u really need any more advice? when all u need is courage and guts to make the first move...
 
wah lan eh..

really give up man...

Tell you so much to go ahead and you are still deliberating..

What is there to assess?
 
steve, dunno whether u'll get this short meesage......

with this gal, u r perhaps thinking too far ahead of time. focus on the PRESENT first and u'll be natural liao.
 

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