"Guo Da Li (过大礼)" ??
- Thread starter trihok
- Start date
Hi Ladies,
Can advise me for Long feng candles, my MIL supppose to buy a pair (1 dragon & 1 phoenix) during our GDL right? Then do my mum need to buy another pair (1 dragon & 1 phoenix to exchange?
If yes, the pair my MIL get will be burned at the couple house? then how about the pair my mum get burned at my parent house?? then my MIL house no need to burn any candles huh??
sorry to ask such question coz try to ask my frens but its getting real confused...some said MIL buy 2 Long candles and my mum buy 2 phoenix candles some say others....
Can advise me for Long feng candles, my MIL supppose to buy a pair (1 dragon & 1 phoenix) during our GDL right? Then do my mum need to buy another pair (1 dragon & 1 phoenix to exchange?
If yes, the pair my MIL get will be burned at the couple house? then how about the pair my mum get burned at my parent house?? then my MIL house no need to burn any candles huh??
sorry to ask such question coz try to ask my frens but its getting real confused...some said MIL buy 2 Long candles and my mum buy 2 phoenix candles some say others....
Hi Celine,
Your mil buy the candles and send to u on guo da li. Then the gal side will keep the dragon candles and return the phoenix candles to the groom side. I can't exactly remember about this part but it is something like tat.
The groom side will burn the candles in their home when the groom goes out to fetch the bride. The bride side will burn the candles when the groom comes in the bridal car to fetch the bride. This is burned in the bride's house. Nothing is burned in the new home.
Your mil buy the candles and send to u on guo da li. Then the gal side will keep the dragon candles and return the phoenix candles to the groom side. I can't exactly remember about this part but it is something like tat.
The groom side will burn the candles in their home when the groom goes out to fetch the bride. The bride side will burn the candles when the groom comes in the bridal car to fetch the bride. This is burned in the bride's house. Nothing is burned in the new home.
Hi Shook!!
Yah rite!! So the dragon candles come in 1 pair and phoenix candles come in 1 pair rite? Then on actual day, the groom side burns the pair of phoenix candles and the bride side burns the other pair of dragon candles.
Hi Celine,
In that case, gal side no need to buy candles.
Yah rite!! So the dragon candles come in 1 pair and phoenix candles come in 1 pair rite? Then on actual day, the groom side burns the pair of phoenix candles and the bride side burns the other pair of dragon candles.
Hi Celine,
In that case, gal side no need to buy candles.
Okean,
Ya lor, the lady that you mentioned very Hao4 Lian4. I went to her shop to buy a holder for needle. And that guy seem to be more friendly but too bad when i was there he was not around. When I pay the $ then i saw him.
There is another bigger shop at Bukit Timah that was tend by an old uncle. His things(towel, pyjamas....) are more so tradtional but seem like he very expert. He can tell you buy this to symbolise what and don buy that becos..... Price wise I'm not too sure. He ever appeared in Ch 8 documentary show and he told me quite a nos of celebraties bought GDL stuff from him.
I bought my stuffs from Jur West also but not the one at 506, it's at 504. Seem like Jur west had quite a nos of shop selling GDL stuffs huh.
Ya lor, the lady that you mentioned very Hao4 Lian4. I went to her shop to buy a holder for needle. And that guy seem to be more friendly but too bad when i was there he was not around. When I pay the $ then i saw him.
There is another bigger shop at Bukit Timah that was tend by an old uncle. His things(towel, pyjamas....) are more so tradtional but seem like he very expert. He can tell you buy this to symbolise what and don buy that becos..... Price wise I'm not too sure. He ever appeared in Ch 8 documentary show and he told me quite a nos of celebraties bought GDL stuff from him.
I bought my stuffs from Jur West also but not the one at 506, it's at 504. Seem like Jur west had quite a nos of shop selling GDL stuffs huh.
hi Celine,
i jus had my GDL last sat..so everything is still fresh in my memory.
MIL is to buy/bring 2 dragon and 2 phoenix candles. bride's family will keep the 2 dragon and the groom's side will keep the 2 phoenix.
the 2 phoenix shall be lighted by groom's parents b4 he leaves the house to fetch the bride.
and the 2 dragon shall be lighted by bride's parents b4 the groom arrives at bride's place.
some places sell 1 dragon & 1 phoenix in a box, do ask for 2 dragon/box and 2 phoenix/box.
i jus had my GDL last sat..so everything is still fresh in my memory.
MIL is to buy/bring 2 dragon and 2 phoenix candles. bride's family will keep the 2 dragon and the groom's side will keep the 2 phoenix.
the 2 phoenix shall be lighted by groom's parents b4 he leaves the house to fetch the bride.
and the 2 dragon shall be lighted by bride's parents b4 the groom arrives at bride's place.
some places sell 1 dragon & 1 phoenix in a box, do ask for 2 dragon/box and 2 phoenix/box.
hi cynthia,
the bathtub, basin, slippers, etc are for the newly-weds!!
if you're staying with ur inlaws after marriage, then arrange for the groom's representatives to bring to ur inlaws place.
if you've ur love nest, then show the items to the representatives and bring the items to ur new house after the GDL is over.
the bathtub, basin, slippers, etc are for the newly-weds!!
if you're staying with ur inlaws after marriage, then arrange for the groom's representatives to bring to ur inlaws place.
if you've ur love nest, then show the items to the representatives and bring the items to ur new house after the GDL is over.
My concern is when the items need to be transferred to the new hse.
does the items need to be transferred to the couple's hse on the very same "Guo Da Li" day or
the representative take back to the guy's parents and transferred the items to the new hse some other day?
Is it necessary for the guy's parents to come down on Guo Da Li?
does the items need to be transferred to the couple's hse on the very same "Guo Da Li" day or
the representative take back to the guy's parents and transferred the items to the new hse some other day?
Is it necessary for the guy's parents to come down on Guo Da Li?
hi cynthia,
frm shifu and other pple i consulted, parents are not to meet each other. therefore representatives are required. if you're not sure, ask both parents 1st.
inlaws rep will bring the things to meet my parents. since we're not going to stay with the inlaws, we showed the rep the bathtub items and arranged to bring to our new house ourselves after GDL session.
usually the rep is older folk (eg aunties), so in my own opinion, why trouble them to bring these heavy bulky stuff for you?? bring urself lah!
the significance of these things is considered ur wedding dowry given by ur mum...you can choose to bring the stuff to ur place anytime between ur GDL and actual day, cos you'll need to display/light up the bed lamps.
i chose to bring the things to the new house in the afternoon/evening since my GDL was in the morning, is bcos i had gone to pick a good date for GDL. if you're not pantang, you can bring it over anytime at ur convenience.
hope my explanation is detailed enough.
cheers!
frm shifu and other pple i consulted, parents are not to meet each other. therefore representatives are required. if you're not sure, ask both parents 1st.
inlaws rep will bring the things to meet my parents. since we're not going to stay with the inlaws, we showed the rep the bathtub items and arranged to bring to our new house ourselves after GDL session.
usually the rep is older folk (eg aunties), so in my own opinion, why trouble them to bring these heavy bulky stuff for you?? bring urself lah!
the significance of these things is considered ur wedding dowry given by ur mum...you can choose to bring the stuff to ur place anytime between ur GDL and actual day, cos you'll need to display/light up the bed lamps.
i chose to bring the things to the new house in the afternoon/evening since my GDL was in the morning, is bcos i had gone to pick a good date for GDL. if you're not pantang, you can bring it over anytime at ur convenience.
hope my explanation is detailed enough.
cheers!
Hi KK and Cynthia
1) about the dragon/phoenix candle..if my hubby is fetching me from hotel (he is from overseas), where to burn the candle?? (if my mum insist on the candle thingy!!)
2) on the GDL day, who can represent my hubby to bring all those things to my mum? He dun have relatives here.
Thanks.
1) about the dragon/phoenix candle..if my hubby is fetching me from hotel (he is from overseas), where to burn the candle?? (if my mum insist on the candle thingy!!)
2) on the GDL day, who can represent my hubby to bring all those things to my mum? He dun have relatives here.
Thanks.
monicaeng
Member
Hi Wendy,
Gou Da Li is the presentation of the Dowry gift to the Bride's family. A token of appreciation for bringing up you. Ur parents can request for the following. Items differ according to customs. Also what to ask depends on the financial limits of your inlaws. Try to ask within their means. Some items are a "must" due to their auspicious meanings Other then the above stated candles and stuff u can also put in the following.
Must have
- 2 bottle of Liquor (Jiu Jiu , togetherness forever)
- Longan
- Lotus Seeds
- Red Dates
- Peanut
- Sweets (Tian Tian Mee Mee)
- Mandarin Oranges
- Money (Ang Poa) Usually between $88-$8,888,888 or more. What ur mother can't keep all she has to return a token portion back to your inlaws to show her humbleness.
Optionals depending on dialect , below can be replaced with an ang Pao too.
- Pig Trotter or whole pig (Whole pig signify that the Bride is still a "virgin" This is usually presented to the brides family when u go back for Tea Ceremony. In the olden times the bride only returns to her parents house 3 days after the ceremony. Her In laws will sent a WHOLE pig to the inlaws to "verify" her chastity. If found unchaste the Pig's tail will be removed. Nowadays ppl don't really bother
- Ceremonious cakes
- mushrooms
- abalone
- sharksfin
- Sugar Cane
And the list goes on.
Then ur parents upon receiving the gift have to "Hui Li" return back something
- 2 bottle of soft drinks. Fanta Orange is ideal
- Some money.
- some oranges
- If u have a roast pig. U mum has to buy a pair of pants for your husband and wrap it with red paper then put it in between the roast pig. In substitute for the portion she has taken. The pants signify a good life for your husband.
Gou Da Li is the presentation of the Dowry gift to the Bride's family. A token of appreciation for bringing up you. Ur parents can request for the following. Items differ according to customs. Also what to ask depends on the financial limits of your inlaws. Try to ask within their means. Some items are a "must" due to their auspicious meanings Other then the above stated candles and stuff u can also put in the following.
Must have
- 2 bottle of Liquor (Jiu Jiu , togetherness forever)
- Longan
- Lotus Seeds
- Red Dates
- Peanut
- Sweets (Tian Tian Mee Mee)
- Mandarin Oranges
- Money (Ang Poa) Usually between $88-$8,888,888 or more. What ur mother can't keep all she has to return a token portion back to your inlaws to show her humbleness.
Optionals depending on dialect , below can be replaced with an ang Pao too.
- Pig Trotter or whole pig (Whole pig signify that the Bride is still a "virgin" This is usually presented to the brides family when u go back for Tea Ceremony. In the olden times the bride only returns to her parents house 3 days after the ceremony. Her In laws will sent a WHOLE pig to the inlaws to "verify" her chastity. If found unchaste the Pig's tail will be removed. Nowadays ppl don't really bother
- Ceremonious cakes
- mushrooms
- abalone
- sharksfin
- Sugar Cane
And the list goes on.
Then ur parents upon receiving the gift have to "Hui Li" return back something
- 2 bottle of soft drinks. Fanta Orange is ideal
- Some money.
- some oranges
- If u have a roast pig. U mum has to buy a pair of pants for your husband and wrap it with red paper then put it in between the roast pig. In substitute for the portion she has taken. The pants signify a good life for your husband.
Thanks Monica! That's really informative. Can you help me with some more questions as i am getting confused.....
Does GDL takes place on actual day? what is the ceremony that takes place 1 week before the actual day? Are ceremonious cakes given on AD? Is the Ang pao given on AD and a portion of it returned to my in-laws on the same day?
Does GDL takes place on actual day? what is the ceremony that takes place 1 week before the actual day? Are ceremonious cakes given on AD? Is the Ang pao given on AD and a portion of it returned to my in-laws on the same day?
monicaeng
Member
HI Wendy,
If u all not pan tang it's more convenient to do all this one week before the wedding. If Pan Dang better go see fortune teller to get auspicious date. Yes the returns must be done on the same day. Infact your inlaws will send a "Mei Poh" to your house to receive the returned gifts. Mei Poh can be a family friend or relative. Must bao one ang pow for the Mei Poh.
If u all not pan tang it's more convenient to do all this one week before the wedding. If Pan Dang better go see fortune teller to get auspicious date. Yes the returns must be done on the same day. Infact your inlaws will send a "Mei Poh" to your house to receive the returned gifts. Mei Poh can be a family friend or relative. Must bao one ang pow for the Mei Poh.
crayonshinchan
New Member
hey girls.. must we buy the "basket" to put the GDL items?? can i just ask my hubby to bring everything over in the plastic bag?? ehhehe.. cos like very ma fan... to carry here and there.. we are buying the cans and oranges ourselves and the cakes are gonna be delivered straight to my plc...
Hi Gebbera,
It depends on how traditional ur in laws want to be. For me, my in laws are hokkien but we did not get any bangles. For my si dian jin, i got myself one set of bracelet and necklace. There should also be ear rings in fact but i gave that a miss. So it is really not a must to have this and that. It all depends on u. But of course subjected to how traditional ur in laws are.
Hi Crayonshinchan,
We did have a basket for guo da li but i dunno whether it is a must. It may not be so perhaps u can ask around on that
Or u can ask ur parents whether they really want the basket?
Hi Wendy,
GDL takes place normally 2 weeks before the actual day and it is the exchange of gifts between two families. After guo da li, u can send out ur invitation cards and distribute cakes/biscuits to ur relatives. Pin4 Jing1 as what u say the red packet, is given to bride's parents on guo da li day. Ur parents take a portion of the money and return some to the groom.
Mei Po is no longer a norm now. Most pple go without meipo nowadays. Save ang pow
Anyway parents can talk to one another when they meet up or couples can be middlemen and pass msgs between two families
It depends on how traditional ur in laws want to be. For me, my in laws are hokkien but we did not get any bangles. For my si dian jin, i got myself one set of bracelet and necklace. There should also be ear rings in fact but i gave that a miss. So it is really not a must to have this and that. It all depends on u. But of course subjected to how traditional ur in laws are.
Hi Crayonshinchan,
We did have a basket for guo da li but i dunno whether it is a must. It may not be so perhaps u can ask around on that
Hi Wendy,
GDL takes place normally 2 weeks before the actual day and it is the exchange of gifts between two families. After guo da li, u can send out ur invitation cards and distribute cakes/biscuits to ur relatives. Pin4 Jing1 as what u say the red packet, is given to bride's parents on guo da li day. Ur parents take a portion of the money and return some to the groom.
Mei Po is no longer a norm now. Most pple go without meipo nowadays. Save ang pow
Hi Wendy,
Si Dian Jin is given to u by the in laws.. kekeke... dowry is given to u by ur own parents... kekekee... dowry is really up to ur mum liao.. depends on what she wants to give u lor.. for my case, my mum give to me all the jewellery that i have worn before and in addition, she also let me choose her collection, see which ones i like then i take
Hi Coven,
Yah rite. Si dian jin is from MIL and it is part of GDL. The groom has to bring it over during GDL
U are right about dowry!!
Si Dian Jin is given to u by the in laws.. kekeke... dowry is given to u by ur own parents... kekekee... dowry is really up to ur mum liao.. depends on what she wants to give u lor.. for my case, my mum give to me all the jewellery that i have worn before and in addition, she also let me choose her collection, see which ones i like then i take
Hi Coven,
Yah rite. Si dian jin is from MIL and it is part of GDL. The groom has to bring it over during GDL
U are right about dowry!!
monicaeng
Member
Hi Celeste,
Not sure of the standard things that the mothers will give daugthers but this are what I got
- 4 Dian Jin (Necklace, earrings, ring, bracelet)
- Sewing Kit
- 9 new dresses
- 2 bedside lamp
Things which I didn't want but usually mothers do buy
- 2 bedside lamp
- One hand bag
- One set of teaset
- One bath basin
- 2 mouth rinsing mugs
- Towel, soap, shampoo, powder, toothbrush
- One set of bed sheet
- One pair of wooden "cloggs" (sp)
- Ruler, mirror
Hmmm this are all I can remember leow.
Not sure of the standard things that the mothers will give daugthers but this are what I got
- 4 Dian Jin (Necklace, earrings, ring, bracelet)
- Sewing Kit
- 9 new dresses
- 2 bedside lamp
Things which I didn't want but usually mothers do buy
- 2 bedside lamp
- One hand bag
- One set of teaset
- One bath basin
- 2 mouth rinsing mugs
- Towel, soap, shampoo, powder, toothbrush
- One set of bed sheet
- One pair of wooden "cloggs" (sp)
- Ruler, mirror
Hmmm this are all I can remember leow.
Hi Grace,
Sorry to reply late. Just saw ur msg.. heee...
(1) Fa1 Gao1 is the huat kuey (in hokkien). This is optional. Actually nobody exchange huat kuey during GDL. Just that my MIL wants it, so my mum prepare for her and also wants one in return.
(2) Bai3 He2 (in Chinese) is the lily bulbs that people used to cook soups. White in colour.
(3) Yan3 Ji2 (in Hokkien)is red paper folded up in a rectangular shape with round silver paper inside it. U need 4 of them for an1 chuang2 for example. When u go to those shops to get ur GDL stuff, they should know what is yan3 ji2 lor.
Glad that u find the list useful
Hope everything is smooth for u
Sorry to reply late. Just saw ur msg.. heee...
(1) Fa1 Gao1 is the huat kuey (in hokkien). This is optional. Actually nobody exchange huat kuey during GDL. Just that my MIL wants it, so my mum prepare for her and also wants one in return.
(2) Bai3 He2 (in Chinese) is the lily bulbs that people used to cook soups. White in colour.
(3) Yan3 Ji2 (in Hokkien)is red paper folded up in a rectangular shape with round silver paper inside it. U need 4 of them for an1 chuang2 for example. When u go to those shops to get ur GDL stuff, they should know what is yan3 ji2 lor.
Glad that u find the list useful
Hope everything is smooth for u
hi monica,
if i teochew and my husband is hokkien, so for the 'Guo Da Li', wat should i buy?
beside this, wat things should my inlaw return back to me and wat things should my parents return to my inlaws?
and when should the 'Guo Da Li' take place?
and wat things should my parents give it to me?
and one last qes, is 'Si Dian Jing' given by my inlaws and dowry is given by my parents? and wat dowry consist of? so my inlaws only give me 'Si Dian Jing'?
sorry for my longwinded qes.........
if i teochew and my husband is hokkien, so for the 'Guo Da Li', wat should i buy?
beside this, wat things should my inlaw return back to me and wat things should my parents return to my inlaws?
and when should the 'Guo Da Li' take place?
and wat things should my parents give it to me?
and one last qes, is 'Si Dian Jing' given by my inlaws and dowry is given by my parents? and wat dowry consist of? so my inlaws only give me 'Si Dian Jing'?
sorry for my longwinded qes.........