Future BIL to propose to GF during your wedding

Y

yewee

Member
Hello,
I am new here. Have been reading this forum for some time. Currently, I got a question from my HTB. His elder brother ask him can he propose to his GF during my wedding on stage after my HTB's thanks you speech.
I will like to know anyone of you girls, what will you reaction and reply be???
 


hmm .. while it is a happy occasion to be shared with all, it's still your wedding after all. why your FBIL came up with this idea arh - what happens if she reject? lol ..

isn't the proposal meant to be a private affair? i think it's more romantic that way .. :D
 
hmm... being your wedding is suppose to be YOUR BIG DAY.

When your BIL proposed, the limelight will turn to him and though its a share of joy, isn't it selfish of him to steal YOUR limelight?

Just my 2cts worth...
 
Hi,

Actually i dun mind the idea of the propose thing, but then I scare that his GF will reject or force to accept as it is infont of all my HTB's relative and parent.
I personally don't think that it is a good idea.
When he first ask my HTB, my HTB did not reject and he said he will need to ask me first. When he asked me i told him I do not like the idea and my reason.
Now i am worry do not know how to reject my Future BIL. I do not want him to have the impression that i do not want to help him.
I seriously do not mind to help him to come up witha better idea.
 
cow cow,

i don't see think limelight thing. To me, its a self-imposed problem and it reflects self-centeredness.

my 2 cents.
 
a guy would roughly know if he will succeed in the proposal or not. I believe they talk about it?

why dont you get ur HTB to ask his brother how confident he is and also to voice out your concern.

so as to mitigate the possible scenario you mention to happen
 
in a way it helps the bride and groom to hv a hard to get break on that hectic day... so why not? just that ur FBIL gotta be 101% sure that his GF will say yes... if not very lau kwee :P
 
Hi all,

Actually the question was threw to my HTB when he is telling him that currently he feel that their relationship like not as good as before. Anyway they already applied for a BTO just waiting to get a key.
He told my HTB that now aday his gf like very sian like that.
I did ask my HTB if his brother can b sure that his GF will accept then my HTB told me that from the talk with his brother he don't think is 100%.
 
Huh...

If I'm the gal, I'll feel "malu" leh.... I don't like being "questioned" infront of everyone (be it those I know or I duno).. lousy feeling... It's a private thingy between the 2 of us.. Why make it like a "show"...

Your BIL must know what kind of Gal his GF is.... Can she take such a "Surprise"???

*Personal Feeling*
 
i'm wondering, what's his purpose?

for the lomantic feel? seriously not...
for the drama-mama feel? rather unnecessary...
unique and special? unique, yes... special, maybe not...

importantly, does he know whether the gf will fancy such a proposal?
cos it's compelling, in my opinion.... and a marriage proposal shouldn't compass the 'enforcement part'.
 
That is a headaches question ...
I do not know how my HTB going to reject him as my HTB said he will ask me first.
Preiously, we are not really in good term ... I scare that if this time reject him will make our relationship worse.
I need to find a way to rejcet him which is better...
 
headache meh? ok ok, maybe it's not difficult for me..... i'll tell him:

"yoz bro, we (as in, both the bride and groom) came to a conclusion that it's kinda unique, however weird, to have a marriage proposal infront of my wedding guests.
if in the presence of other ppl, isn't it better to have your close friends, or maybe her own family members for instances?

having said that, have you really, really thought thru this? as in, if the gf likes her proposal to be held right infront of other ppl? she should know deep inside if you're the right guy to marry, and not definitely by mere pressure."
 
Charlie - Let your hubby do the talking and questioning. As for U, juz do backup answering...

"Bro, isn't it awkward to ask infront of so many guests whom your GF dun even know"...

"YOU have a GREAT IDEA!! However, can your GF take it"???...

As for U, juz pass simple remarks on how a Gal would like to have a "Romantic Proposal"...

"Dian3 Dao4 Wei2 Zhi3"... Hope your BIL not "dumb" to all these hints.....
 
Hi All,

Thanks!!! I will let my HTB know how to reply as he is not a good speaker ... He always say wrong thingz.
Hope my BIL will not have the wrong idea i do not want to help him.
 
no need for charlie to show-face... just let it be a guy-guy talk..
it shld work fine, unless the bro pays the wedding bills and calls all the shot.
hahaha....

simi si "Dian3 Dao4 Wei2 Zhi3"? some sort of Sun Tze's strategy?
 
tell ur FBIL

the rational not for him to do it being that you don't want him to be embarrass if he got rejected infront of all the family member and guest.

if you are coming from his point of view i believe he will understand =D
 
Hope so ... As we are not in good term in the past so i do not want to give him the impression that i do not wan to help him. I do not want to make my HTB sandwich in btw.
Hope he can understand bah
 
if no confidence, then better not do it.

Furthermore, if one is hoping to savage the relationship through a proposal, then basically, he has no idea what are the issues. He should be addressing the problem and not hoping that a proposal will be some booster.

He ought to know his gf better. Some gals like the public attention of a proposal while many don't. We see all the mushy proposals on TV programs, some really find them romantic. So, its not for us to say its a really a good idea or not. Just point out factors that he should consider but the decision is really his.
 
hmm.. explain to your BIL that since he is not 100% confident that his gf will agree to the proposal, isn't it better to do it quietly and of course more romantic as well.. Moreover, gals prefer romantic and creativity...
happy.gif
 
Hi All,

Had told my HTB all the advice given by you.
My FBIL ask my bf regarding the propose again when i am not around. My HTB just tell him that he presonally after thinking about it think that it is not a good idea. As what will happen if his GF did not accept.
Then my FBIL said he will think about it again.
 
Although I think it would be okay to lend the occasion to do it, it's just too weird.

I mean, it's like very strange. The GF would be under much pressure. Likely to backfire. Just like if your FBIL is at his gf's family wedding occassion and the gf shouts out loud "SO ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY ME?" I don't think there's any sense of romance in such a way of proposal than crowd pressure, especially from his clan.

It's like the parents of the girl telling you to marry their daughter the first time you see them. I equate the feeling from such scenario to dumping in pants.
 
Yes, That is the thing i am worry about also. If i am the gf, if i do not have the idea to get marry so early but i will also be force to accept as all my FBIL relative and parent is around. What happen if I don't accept? What the relative and parent will see on me if i do not accept?
My problem will be that if my HTB reject him, will he think that I do not want to help him as my HTB told my FBIL that he will ask me first.
So he will think that i am the one who do not want to help him.
We preiously not in very good term. We don't really talk for the pass 10 years.
 
But well, he will grow up and come to understand this someday. Let your husband go handle the situation with him.

Ask him to place himself in the shoes of the GF lor. Suddenly being asked the question and scrutinized upon by so many people... Feel very shiok meh? haha. Even if wanna say YES also feel otherwise liao.

Or u offer to throw your hand bouquet at them lor haha then ask him to bring her go somewhere else to propose to her after the dinner. If he wanna ride on the joyous mood of the occassion.
 
Up to you haha. That time for us was after the lunch recept of our rom day. We rounded up the girls and my wife threw the bouquet. But everyone siam leh lol

Preferably if you wanna do it, u can do it after the dinner ba. You would not want your bouquet to land on some tables with guests if the arrangement is quite close together and you would still need the bouquet for your march in?
 
ILuvU - Don't worry too much le since your FBIL already said will "think about it again".... Why let other ppl's problem bcome your problem to be so stressed out leh???

Guess your FBIL should be sensible enuff to really think twice b4 action.

U juz have to concentrate and be happy on your own BIG DAY... It's YOURS ok =)
 
Hi All,

I tot of an idea to help my FBIL to propose but i not sure does it help.
Before going back to my place from my HTB's house, we will go to a near by park to have photo taking session. I will ask my HTb to get his brother and gf to come a long. After the photo taking, i will have the throw flower. And i will find ways to throw it to my FBIL. then he will use it to propose. At the same time i will ask the "bro" and "sis" to help to bring out ballon with "marry me?" wording.
Do you all think this can work or should add in any other thing to make it better?
 
i think its a sweet idea. but receiving the thrown hand bouquet is for sisters only. in western customs the guys queue up to receive the bride's garter thrown by the groom. dont think asians practice this here.

why not arrange with everyone else to ensure your FBIL's gf catches the bouquet, and then your FBIL proposes to her? while thinking it might be a joke, your FBIL can take out his proposal ring. it'll be an unexpected and wonderful surprise. (if he's sure she'll agree)

if he's unsure if she'll agree, then probably a good idea to propose privately. save the pressure and embarrassment if she's not ready.
 
hi yewee,

I think you can get the guys to stand there to catch the flowers instead of the ladies...
during mine, i get all the bro & sis to stand behind me, while i pretend to throw...
where as during one of my sis's wedding, we get the guys to catch the flowers bouquet instead...
happy.gif

and I personally think guys are more game...
they will get the flowers while all the ladies sham...
 
Great!!! then think i will propose the idea to my FBIL. Can add in any other thing??? I mean more suprise?
 
haha visualizing how your wedding day video recording (if there is any..) will be like, to have your big day recorded in the video together with your BIL proposal ? and your wedding pictures together with his proposal pics ? not bad huh his proposal pics will also have a nice back drop of your wedding day stage as well as the ambience think again sounds er .. strange la wat if his marriage doesnt turn out well in future ? then your wedding pics and videos will be part of them forever .. think again la
 
BIL should be sensible enough to fork out some money for his own proposal and put in more effort if he wants a nicely decorated place with gd ambience .. agree only if u dont mind him crashing onto your wedding dinner
 
wa to think your BIL is very smart if he does that then his proposal pics will also be professionally taken (if u had employed any professional photographers or video man) and he doesnt need to pay a cent
 
IMO, it is his proposal.. if i were you, i will just leave it all to him and not think of any ideas to suggest.

what if he took the suggestion but the proposal didnt turn out the way he wanted? better dun suggest anything lest you get blame or whatever..
 
why bother with the proposal. just give him your approval...period...it's your big day, you have your plate full...you're turning this into their big event...any case, it's insensitive of your bil to even be using the occasion to propose...2 cents here..
 
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