Facing anulment, broken heart

Dear Lyn,

The most ironical thing is that he comes from a broken family too. His dad left his mum alone with him and his sis when he was only 6. He always told me he has no father and his father had died and he hated him for doing that to his mum, she almost jumped down with the both of them when his dad left them.

That's how all his childhood friends which are my good friends now always assure me that betraying me in this manner was the last thing he'll ever do to me. And i believed bec i saw and heard how much he hated his dad for doing that to them. When they heard this piece of news, they were shocked to, at how he had changed.

It came as such a shocking piece of news to me that this thing happened all because i understood how he felt. And even my parents who dote on him alot were so disappointed as he was a very good boy, very responsible and a man who cared alot for his family. we would spend our off days throughout these 3 yrs with his family, playing mahjong, having steamboat, just spending time together.

i spent my new year's eve with his family last night(of coz without him around) and i slept at his house, but with his mum. we did not talk this morning and i couldn't face him as i know the person i would see is a horrible liar and an actor who at his deathbed would continue to lie.
Even now, whatever he says i can't bring myself to believe anymore, its just in my ears and out on the other side. This evening, he told me "thanks for letting me enjoy the credit card for 2 months." sacarstic?

i told myself this morning when i woke up on this new day that im not gonna let his horrible lies hurt me anymore. i'm gonna walk out of this marriage with my head held high and tell myself, i'm happier without him. and i am gonna lead a better life without him. let us walk out of our shadows brave and put the past behind us together with 2008 and move on strong with 2009. =)

Cheers,loves.
 


Hi H@ppy@ngel

HAppy New Year...=)

I've learnt alot these few days, to learn to let go of the past and look forward to new things coming my way. Instead of thinking of how heartbroken i am, i've learnt to think of how to improve myself and make myself a more worthy woman.

Guess i'm still young and this is only a passing experience for me to learn. Although it might not be a small minor lesson, the harder way i learn, the more i can remember how i stood up from the fall.

As days goes by, my heart becomes colder and colder towards this relationship, and i am happy to say that i'm no more holding on to any hope towards it anymore. Unlike what i thought 2 weeks ago that i could learn to forgive and forget and carry on trying to salvage this marriage, after having time to myself these 2 weeks, i think i should move on with my life and live it to the fullest.

it's good this thing happened now because 2009 will be a new beginning for me and i hope god will bless me through this long journey.

i hope 2009 will be a fulfilling year for you too, with blessings from god all the way....=)

Thanks for being here....loves..
 
Hi Lost...

Thanks for your blessing...it is definitely happy to see that you have look things thru and find a path for yourself...

I agree with you...we have to learn to think of how to improve ourselves and make ourselves worthy...it can be a hard fall...but once we pick ourselves up...we will hv to move on...

It is a gd beginning...look forward and be blessed...
 
Can anyone advice, if i sue my husband for adultery, will it be considered a divorce or anulment of marriage?
 
Hi Lost,

I'm glad you've seen the light of your situation! I'm sure you've made the right decision to be free from his reins. He's simply not worth it. You deserve someone a lot better.

Indeed, you are still young. There's a lot of things to be achieved out there. I trust you'll gain back a bigger form of happiness as you take on a new path.

By the way, your previous last line is true. A woman should have the means to survive on her own.

Go gal!
happy.gif
 
Lyn,

Yes, there are people who behave below their age. And you're right to say maturity comes from experiences and mindset. Of course then, age and maturity have little correlation.

But in Lost's case, there were signs (to me, at least) that they are likely both young, or at least he is, and they probably married young. True indeed. They are in their early 20's.
 
Dear lost

My advice to you is to move on cleanly and make your life better in the coming years.

You're still young and the best thing about all this is a lesson learnt and also you do not have kids from this union.

If you are strong, in time you'll find a better man for sure.

Do not be filled with hatred for the male species. For there are still many single men out there, I'm sure that will be a future ideal companion for you.

If you have matured for the better in your later life, you'll find that there are many wonderful things awaitng for you out there and many wonderful ppl that will make your life meaningful.

Cheers.
 
i just cannot take it lying down that he has gotten his bonus now and is capable of spending on that bitch and yet reluctant to use the money to find a lawyer and he is dragging my time.

i noe i have to think it thru if its worth it to sue him for adultery that's why i'm in a dilemma now.
 
lost,

what is the point? you cannot take it lying down and you are letting the anger gets the better of you. You should be much better to think of yourself to make yourself happy than to worry about how he is spending his bonus.

Unless you have irrefutable evidences about his adultery - otherwise, it will mean more pain
 
everyone is telling me that. even my family. haiz. ya i'm letting all these get to me. i've recovered from the hurt. but now, its the anger.

guess i should calm my mind and cool down.
 
yeah man...i always know that we should be kind to those who let us down and do us bad and not think of means and ways to revenge. But i never knew it was so hard to do it until now.
 
actually lost

Feeling hatred/ revengeful at this moment is natural...but to interpret y, it's becoz u are still loving him

The day which you do not feel angry, jealous, revengeful is the day which u no longer feel for him....give yourself sometime...dun think too much or try to interpret too much..like the article..during this time, the hardest thing is DOING NOTHING....doing nothing at all needs efforts...

cheers..
 
lost

"yeah man...i always know that we should be kind to those who let us down and do us bad and not think of means and ways to revenge. But i never knew it was so hard to do it until now."

you are still brave enuff...to make comments like this..rather than sounding pitiful.
give yourself a pat on the back and tell yourself..u can do it

he will feel happy and blessed with the new found gal coz they are in the Euphoric stage of a r/s.

every r/s will fades off with time to settle down..just like residues in a cloudy water will settle down too...when this is so, all characteristics will be clearly shown to each other..this is a time for accepting each other's flaws. if they cant..then they will have conflicts...mayb by then, your guy will realise your good points in contrast with hers..

u need patience for time being.
 
actually, you can take up exercising (if you do not usually)...go for a run and work out a good sweat.

Exercising does wonders to you and your body. at the end you feel tired but satisfied. And not to mention, feel healthier!!

channel that anger to this, it will take your mind off him a while.
 
i pressed him to get a lawyer 2 days ago and settle it before CNY. And he told me he'll be meeting the lawyer next wednesday.

i went to si ma lu today to pray and asked if this is the end of everything when he has found a lawyer and why am i feeling so revengeful now and if i should just wait for him to get a lawyer and stop pressing him.

the lot explained:
"The words and deeds of a cultured man is important to heed.If one is inattentive,one may misunderstand.If one's heart is in the right place,then the sun is at it's zenith. There is no trouble within oneself.Let one's mind be pure and clear as crystal water of the lake.Understanding will follow. Be courteous and humble in conduct of life. Words honest and behaviour sincere. If doubt is in your heart,be straight and upright. Like water in the autumn clean pure and tranquil. Heart should be calm and free of care. Why bother with doubts and worries when things can be solved without difficulty."

This is what Guan Yin Ma said to me. All the lots i've got previously pertaining to this matter all meant almost the same thing. To remain calm and honest and not to do anything at the moment.i'm trying hard to tell myself to remember her words and stop thinking of him and feeling revengeful.
 
i've stopped clubbing and partying ever since were together 3 yrs ago.

these 2 weeks i started to club whenever possible to enjoy my life and to make new friends. either drink till i'm drunk or dance till i drop.

i wonder if this is my way of freeing myself from all the stress.

and of course spending more than ever on shopping, getting things to dress up myself again, cosmetics, clothes, shoes, skincare, etc etc.

am i on the right track now? i think it would be difficult for me to shut up and stop cursing and swearing at him. bec it's in my nature to talk non stop and shoot my mouth off all the time. that's why it's so difficult now
 
lost,

it is good you can divert some attention to some activities but these are temporary.

and find more things to do that will make you happy.
 
if only i can survive one day, just one day stop talking or thinking about the bastard.

i guess i'll be happier.
 
Lost,

It's good to break up. He got no money, no love for u also. Plus Pig and Pig dont get along well anyway. Even if both of u are together, it is because both or either party force to keep it going. what for make life so miserable??? Life is so short. Suggest u look for someone born in the year of Rabbit or sheep. Things will turn out different for sure. U wont regret if u find this man. I gurantee u this!
 
U dont believe in Zodiacs?? Haha, try finding someone that is unsuitable.... then we shall discuss about it ;-)

i wish u can proof me wrong!
 
hunky,

what is there to discuss?

Even if you find perfect match in zodiac, so what?

YOu guarantee happiness forever after?

What is there to proof?
 
it's up to you believe.
anyway, my post is mean for Lost(envyme)
If she appreciate my post. i m happy for her.
If she can find her next love, i m more happy for her. Else please take my comments as a pinch of salt
;-)
 
sm,
u are really boliao.......
like that u also feel song.

I pity u.
please dont feel sore!

Let's get over it and move on.
 
Geez... guess your pick up line would be... are you a "_________" fill in the blank with whichever horoscope applicable.
 
hunky,

who is the fxxking bo liao?

Like you going around fantasizing to sleep with your female colleagues and you have to let the whole forum know?
 
KNN....

i think Hunky and Sunbean are bery the good a match...

Confirm plus chope they belong to the 13th Zodiac animal, "Crocodile".
 
aiya dun quarel lah..

hunky, you should use the zodiac sign as a form of reference bah..and not totally believe in it..thats wat SM meant....
 
Thanks, for giving me the TIKO sign
But TIKO sign gets along well only in bed.
Elsewhere... maybe not!
Hope u pple dont get offended by what i write.

Weekend is here. Have a good weekend everyone!
;-)
 
he sent me a msg saying that he will pass the bracelet i've given to him on his birthday last month to our friend and ask him to give it back to me bec it is too long and cannot shorten.

he was supposed to transfer the amount due for credit card ytd but didn't hear from him too. n this morning when he msg me, he didn't even mention abt the money.

but i did not reply his msg. i almost did. but i controlled bec i want to lose all contact with him to make my life easier.


hai.
 
when someone has a change of heart, there will be some uncaring moves shown...afterall, it's normal.. u wont expect special care eg. from your colleague who has worked with you for 6 years to show special care to you right?

when love is gone, it's gone.
probably stil able to rekindle when u saw some tell tale signs prior to the separation..but now, you gota try extra hard if you are stil keen.

u gota give him sometime. for now, im sure you will mean almost nothing to him coz of his new found love.

you are still in denial stage...lotsa y he become like that..y he doesnt feel for me..y he this and that.. and you are still having expecations of him..when u mention he din even mention about money..u expected him to honour his word...you expected him to remember and at least give u a reply next day...

cut down your expextations on him..stop asking why..like the lot says, let nature seeps in....
 
but i mean like, he can just dispose of it and forget about it. i'm like trying to live my life here and why does he have to come and disrupt it? why must he return it? since he's so heartless, he should just throw it away.

regarding the money, he still owes me an amount for the card i've supped for him and i need to pay the bill.

i've no more expectations from him le. bec he's hopeless.i just want to get him outta my life.
 
i feel sorry for you..but haiz..sad to say this is not uncommon.

i read such post in this fcrum so many times that i have lost count.

i duno y, in a way, i do feel kinda pessimistic after reading too..
 
ya. reading this forum actually made me realise i'm not the only one in this world in this plight, and not the worst. everyday, there are so many tragedies happening in the world, i should count myself lucky it's just a stupid relationship problem which can be mended and cured with time.
 
Lost,

Live your life better. Make sure u have a happier life without him. He'll regret leaving you.

Dont let him know ur pain and miserable state. If he evers knows u feel miserable without him, he'll be gloating.
 


he will never get to know how i'm getting on bec i'm cutting all contacts with him.

i will not be interested to know how's he doing too,like is he still with the bitch or whatsoever.

i'll just cherish this opportunity that god has given me to have met this bastard so i can start my live again, this time, a smarter woman. =)

cheers to singlehood!
 
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