Don't want gatecrash

hehe... Frankly speaking, i only follow certain traditions to my convenience. Mine super simple. Actual day no comb hair ceremony. Not getting the child to open the door. My hubby say he can open himself. haha.. so he will just come over to fetch me from my house and we shall go to church together.hmm.. so i think the VG only have church ceremony to film. If time permit, maybe i shall pre record my thank you speech.
 


i dun wan gate crash. parents say need it (yi shi yi shi)..

i have seen one wedding where there wasn't any gatecrashing games prepared. It was the PG who commented need gatecrashing games (yi shi yi shi). :S
so end up the jiemei thought of some 'games' for the groom lor
 
I am so happy to read this thread!

Can someone advise me. I don't want gatecrashing either, for all the reasons stated, but my parents are very difficult people who will think that letting the groom in w/o gatecrashing will make me look 'cheap' in front of relatives, and they are those traditional kind that cares alot about how our relatives view them.

I've fought with them over similar issues and don't want another scuffle again.

Any ideas on very creative ways for the groom to enter "with a bang" so that they'll be satisfied?
 
noir,
what about getting your fiance to give a ridiculously large bouquet of flowers to your mum when he comes to pick you up? simple, and very very sweet.

I'm not doing a gatecrash too. no pre-wedding photoshoot, no gatecrash. nice
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Wow! DL (foreigndevil), tat is simple... Do you hold banquet? or you just ROM only?

I can eliminate banquet, honeymoon, new furniture, gatecrashing etc but I am willing to give up pre-wedding PS. Ha^^
 
Hi DL,

Me too! I'm not having gate-crashing and pre-wedding photos. Apparently its bad luck in Australia for the groom to see the dress before the wedding day. So no photoshoot. I'll just be meeting my fiance in church.
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Cupcakes: yes I think it's a western tradition that the groom only sees the bride in her wedding dress when she walks down the aisle. I'll be doing just that! No gatecrash, but will have tea ceremony first after groom arrives, then later the solemnization.
Like others have said in this thread, why must the groom prove that he really wants to marry her only on wedding day??

Candy: heh yes I do have solemnization then banquet.
 
Hello ladies! I'm new to this thread..but it's quite refreshing to see that there are a number of you who aren't into gatecrashing too!

Also, my fiance has no clue what it's about and I don't want a grumpy abused man coming in to get me :p I did think if some of our close friends from overseas just want to have some fun we might have a bit of 'gatecrashing' but nothing OTT.

Im also doing without the PS which we find unnecessary..

Cupcakes&Cream..it's the same deal here in the UK with the dress. Although I was dragging my fiance dress shopping initially ;)

Will you girls have any first dance? or dancing after dinner? We are planning to but I cant seem to find any decent DJs in Singapore yet.
 
may: WAH! I'm so happy whenever I find another bride to be NOT doing a pre-wedding photoshoot. I even tried googling to see if it's a distinctly Singaporean or Asian phenomenon, but can't seem to find anything on it?

I know there are Western couples who do do pre-wedding photoshoots too, but it seems like they are a rarity. so what is it about Asians and photoshoots? hm. I'm really just curious.. nothing against photoshoots.. I enjoy looking at the artistic and very well photographed ones (I'm very into photography), and admire the gorgeous gowns etc, but I also literally laugh out loud at some, ah, very poorly done photoshoots - you know, those on fake sand and guitar (e.g.) and forced smiles and 'look-into-distance' type of poses. I know, to each his/her own, but why pre-wedding photoshoots, and only in one's wedding dress and tux? (I like those couples who do both - in their normal everyday clothes and in their wedding wear).
 
Hi May,

We went to a wedding show together and he indicated what design he preferred so I'll be choosing my dress taking his comments into consideration.

We will be having a Waltz which will break into a Argentina Tango and he wants the bridal party to do a Casino Rueda. I think its so nice to have dancing in the wedding. Esp when the bride gets to dance with her dad. I think that's such a special moment... Pity it's not common in Singapore.
 
DL,

I totally know what you mean. You know the ones where couples wear the different costumes? I call them the "hello kitty" photos. Coz they are like the MacDonald dolls in the different national costumes.

For me, photos should reflect who the couple are. They should be meaningful and you should be able to relate to them. There is not point having pretty pictures which you cannot relate to and will just put away in the storage after a year or two. But if you have photos taken that reflect you as a couple then when your friends look at them they will think "this is so them" or at least you can show your children years down the road "this is what mummy and daddy used to like to do together, or this is where we used to go together" Those photos will be so much more meaningful don't you think?
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DL..haha...those hideous photoshoots...they have evolved to be more modern, but I still find posed photoshoots cringe-worthy..especially those where they try to look like fashion models with sultry pouts when they don't usually look like that? But I do find many photoshoots nowadays are more meaningful, like Cupcakes&Cream said. I've been on Stylemepretty.com a lot and I think in America they do engagement shoots. Most on the site are very beautifully done.

Cupcakes&Cream..wow that's impressive! I love Argentina Tango. sizzling! ;) The first time I danced with my fiance it was bollywood at a friend's wedding in India..so it's likely we might have a bit of that!

Anyone having videography? I was going to skip it. But saw a show today of a to-be-married couple watching their parents getting married in 1941...very sweet. Still undecided!
 
hi all,

I'm oso 1 of the BTB in 2011. I oso feel that gate crashing is quite childish and lame. so will do away with it.
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We wanted to have a gracious and sleek type of "Gatecrash". any1 has any ideas?

Thanks
 
may: I'm not having videography.. but I'm banking on one of my guest whipping out his/her digicam and just videoing us a little here and here. cos honestly.. it's not like I'm so narcissistic to re-watch a video of my wedding over and over again..., heh

wentan: join the no-gate-crash-club!
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hello, i didn't not do gate crash. I surprised my hubby with door crash.

so, i got my family involved too.

when he arrived, the gate was opened for him. but there was a whole group of people blocking his way at my door.

my bridesmaid gave him a drink and played him a video of me laughing evilly telling him that there's a door crash.

we started with a simple dance request. i asked him to do a nobody but you dance cos i was crazy about it that time.

then i got my parents involved. he was supposed to "assure my parents". my parents and family were really sporting. they made him speak in dialect and my parents even teased him a bit. it was not kitsch at all. and he made my mum teared. so it was really quite a funny and touching moment.

next, we had him write me a love poem on the spot. my cousins decorated the poem paper together that morning. it is one of my hubby's strengths to write poems. so, i leveraged on that and he wrote me something really meaningful and touching.

finally, we had little code words between us. so he had to shout the code word for the door to open.

the whole family had a good time and he also enjoyed the moments. It was truly memorable. nothing humiliating or strenuous.

hope the ideas help!

I think most importantly, you girls must know what is meaningful to both of u.

for me, it was my family so i got them involved. then i wanted him to have fun, so I got him to do things in his strengths.
 
DL: Me too! I'm really hoping that my brother in law will be in town to help take the videos. (He does movies in HK) That was how my sis and him met. My sis was a crazed Leon Lai fan and he was shooting a movie with him. I'm not gate crashing too! Just meeting him at the venue itself.
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DL: Yah! I also hope so... I need to find someone that knows how to do video editing though coz I'm not sure if he does editing too... kekeke
 
Hi all, I thou of doing simple wedding. Will be doing wedding lunch, and thou of dropping the gate crash. Just come fetch me and do tea ceremony @ my house first den go back bf's hse..
 
No gatecrash for me either..

Hi Wanni, do you have time schedule for tea cermony at both parties hse before gg for wedding lunch? I was tinkin is there enuff time to do so..
 
I think I will keep this step personally because i think its silly (yet i have double standards, i might do that to my own brothers but not my busband) and also because we havent known each other for a long long time (yah we got hitched like in 8 months) and i dun really wanna test his patience and tolerance....
 
I cant decide if we should include gatecrash or not, especially if we were to have tea ceremony, solemnisation and lunch banquet and it gets too cramped up and rushed...
 
The reason why gatecrashing may be unfavourable is because of past bad examples whereby some jie meis may be too extreme or went overboard with the limits and some of these gatecrashing sessions may also run overtime because the jie meis don't want to relent so easily.. This is where communication is important. For our wedding, I initially didn't see the need for gatecrashing either but funnily enough, it was my hubby who wanted it. He has been a heng tai many times so he's quite seasoned with gatecrashing games and he thought it would be nice to spice up our wedding morning with a bit of fun and games. We both eventually agreed to hold it but set a time limit to it so that we won't delay the rest of the schedule including our tea ceremonies and church solemnization ceremony. We made this time limit known to the jie meis and got them to agree to it as well as we explained the implications if we were to run overtime so they understood. As for avoiding extreme over-the-board games, a limit will also need to be set and agreed upon by the jie meis. I didn't want my hubby or his groomsmen to suffer from stomachache, diarrhoea or vomiting so I forbade any weird food/drinks game. Also, seeing how social media can be easily abused and not wanting any of the guys' reputation to be affected professionally, any game that involves cross-dressing or dressing inappropriately was also off limits. Other than these two no-no's, my jie meis had free reign on how they wanted to run the session. The guys eventually agreed that it was one of the most lenient gatecrashing sessions they've ever participated in but they still admitted that they had a lot of fun plus we managed to stick closely to our time schedule. There were 3 games in total. The first involved the guys using their bodies to form the phrase "I LOVE U". The second game needed them to rent props (using ang pows hehe) and make a music video of a cute comical love song. The last game was to form a team "love poem" chant using the key phrases provided to chant along as they perform the traditional Maori Haka dance (like the one performed by New Zealand's All Blacks team before their rugby matches). If you view our morning express highlights video (our YouTube channel link is in my signature below), you can see for yourself that gatecrashing can still be kept fun and simple without going overboard or overtime.. :)
 
For teochew, they dun do gatecrash, bargaining for a red packet to open the door is considered crass for teochew. For mine, I just asked the groom to prepare an angbao for the bridemaid, that's all. :) To thank her for opening the door.
 
At first I wanted to do away with gate crash too.. But my jiemeis very enthu about it so I think will still do it. But I need to tell the, b4hand that I need to know what they are going to do, and nothing obscene or things that may upset the stomach too much (in case the groom can't show up for the dinner at night!)
 
i won't be having gate crashing! will prob be a tad boring but i just don't see the point of having it *shrugs*

but then, now i will have the prob of how to have the groom coming in in an "appropriate" manner...
 
I want a lovely gatecrash, solely to light up mood and nothing disgusting n humiliating.

Meaning like giving the FH n bros a really nice meal that consisted of the 4 tastes (sweet, sour, bitter & spicy) and some easy and fun games.

Was thinking of dark choco as bitter, icy lemonade as sour, fried bee hoon with some chilli by the side as spicy and soya milk as sweet.. still exploring this meal idea..

no humiliating games, just some guess which belongs to your bride or maybe fix a gigsaw puzzle thingy..

Please share some idea with me..
 
Hi ladies!!

I dont think gate crash = humiliating games all the time. it all boils down to what is prepared beforehand for the groom + the brothers. (:

It can go from v embarrassing and humiliating games (and risk ruining the whole atmosphere esp when the groom + brothers dwant to comply) to v simple games.

Food games mentioned above can be 1 of them! If you dwant it to be too disgusting, you can just prepare simple food without mixing. For eg, we wanted to drizzle coffee powder on top of a slice of bittergourd/mixed condensed milk w honey but my bestf said to keep it simple. we decided to go with a slice of bittergourd/a tablespoon of honey. simple, and definitely edible. (: Plus wont cause the groom or brothers to have stomachache.

Other simple games can be a short quiz (bride & sisters come up w the quiz q) for the groom and brothers to complete. the quiz q can be about the couple like impt dates, their favourite memories ,etc.
 
My JMs had my hubby n his brothers doing the following because i had mention that i dun wan humiliating games.

And i had only wanted them to take tings my hubby dun eat.

1. So they kept yoghurt in a pint of ice cream box.
2. Portobello mushrooms in hotcake box
3. Brownie (cant rmb was it also in a pint of ice cream box

So they had prepare a simple contract for him to fill up and also keys in cold ice where they use their feets to kiap the key. Sadly i remember none of the keys open the gate!! Hahaaa
 
I'm having lunch wedding too but will be planning a short 20mins gate crash.

My sisters plans a dice-throwing game consisting of 酸甜苦辣 on each face. The other 2 will be Dancing and Singing. Very short game but think will be fun n juz nice for the timing.
 
Am having a lunch banquet too so we won't be doing gatecrash. I find it messy and a little unglam for our entourage anyway! Had rather my boyfriend to pick me up, and we head to some place to do a Photoshoot with our buddies. Less hectic!
 
Anyone have itinerary for wedding luncheon to share? I'll be having tea ceremony and solemnised same day. Appreciate everyone who share. Thanks!
 
I think gate crashing is only fun if the couple themselves personally enjoy it. It's your wedding after all. I'm not a huge fan and consider most things like this pointless (it's not tradition), so I've used the excuse that my fiancé is foreign and I'm throwing a small wedding here to get out of it.
 

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