Don't want gatecrash

haha....i am also not having gatecrashing...
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coz i will be having only 1 "helper" who is my cousin (pray that she dun back out the last minute)....haha...and also we need to reach my hubby's place before 8.30am....
 


i like this thread! i'm glad there are so many brides who don't like gate-crashing a well. i find it utterly childish and very embarrassing for my hubby to go through all of that just to 'marry me over'?

i'm trying to think of something meaningful and fun we can do in the morning as well. but i would also like to meet him for the first time when i walk down the aisle. anyway we have to rush for a church wedding, maybe no time for gate-crashing also.
 
As time is a factor for us... we will not be having major Gate-Crashing... maybe we will just give a AP to the sister to open the door... Hahaha. Cut all the trouble.. and making all pple tired in such early in the morning
 
Yeah, mi too...I'm not having any gate crash either. We wIll still go thru tea ceremony and procced to capture more outdoor PS. Perhaps others, this seem to be quite boring but to me, it mean alot cuz it my Special Day
 
Hahaha think now more and more pple are doing away with the Gate-Crashing part. Its too noisy for me and I like to be quite in the morning... and moreover my hubby stay at west and I stay at east think my hubby and his brother will be tired after 1 long drive and they got to do the driving for the next half of the day.
 
mi too is not having any gatecrash. Only have 1 bridesmaid to help me for the day (n i have told her clearly that NO GATECRASH).

Now the challenging part is that my cousins are helping my aunties pushing their way to have gatecrash and they have push to my limit already. Here is wad i told one of my cousin who is closer to me.

ME: If you guyz still want to force us to have the gatecrash we will cancel the whole banquet compensate the banquet n just make do with ROM ceremony n head for honeymoon. We're delay honeymoon cos of banquet.
COUSIN: it's a happy occasion why make everyone unhappy when yoou dun follow relative wishes.
ME: Yes it's a happy occasion but if a happy occasion but if we are not happy den what is considered a happy occasion?
COUSIN: dunno what you two is thinking about, when it's a tradition to have gatecrash.
ME: NO it's not a tradition, gatecrash is started for fun of saboing FH n brothers only it's got nothing to do with tradition.

For us the morning will only be fetching the bride from Home to hotel for rest n prepare for the evening. as church wedding, tea ceremoney will be b4 banquet starts so evening will be a long event. (Keeping it as simple as possible is the best) Personally i feel that if you do not wan any gatecrash den stand firm dun bother about what others say. Frankly i have frends who asked if is it about the ang bao that we need to give to jiemeis but it's not. In the 1st place we want it to be simple and even have the thought of honeymoon wedding but give up that idea for family members.

It's a bit lengthy here, but i feel that sometimes when family members get too forcful we will be stressed up n wan to put a stop to everything.

So after i told my cousin about what we will do if they keep forcing. till today non of the relatives ask for gatecrash again.
 
Hi girls! i just had my big day two sats ago and i did not have Gate crashing too!;-) Told all my friends that i like a joyous morning but NO NEED for all that ra-ra and they gladly obliged! My hubby who is italian prepared a bouquet for my mum and he actually surprised us with a phase when he arrived at my parents'--Wo de lao po zai na li! i.e. where is my wife? Hahaha, so i guess we all got our joyous morning!!
 
PK - tat's v gd encouragement
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recently, having headache abt the gatecrashing thing n all again though we alrd decided to do away with it...

i tik i do need some help and suggestions if possible...

the thing is, we dun wish to have gatecrashing...so hence, since we have already ROM-ed...we only want to go straight to the hotel and then do tea ceremony at the hotel itself...

however, there's this dilemma of the bride leaving the house....cos suddenly my mum say...eh, u dun have gatecrashing then it's just like u r quietly marrying off without ppl knowing...it doesn't feel like a wedding then...n then my dad added to say tat when u get married, ur hb shd just come to ur house and then, make 3 turns ard the estate and fetch u to hotel but u must wear new clothes...HUH?

how to make a win-win situation out of tis?
 
well.. i neber heard of this... but i am also one of the BTB who will prob do without the gate crashing.. i find it very ugly and degrading on the groom. Esp when the whole world watch the montage and laugh at him. Dun understand y pple think there is a need to humiliate their own husband... Anyway, i have passed the word down to my jie meis and asked my parents. Jie meis were fine... parents were so happy coz my dad thinks its childish and my mum hates noise and mess... And since i decided against a VG, ha... no need to worry whether boring or not.. I like things simple. Chop chop finish all the tea ceremony then rest and get ready for the banquet
 
Hi Grace Lourdes! I can understand what u are going through..i guess our friends and family expect a certain format when it comes to weddings so when u wanna break away from that format, u have to appease many people..

My advice is that u talk to your mum again (separately)..find out what is really bothering them..i mean if she wants some noise & festivity at home in the morningl you can still arrange for some friends to go to your place..and then together u guys proceed to the hotel?
 
An evil thinking... tell your hubby to come near to the bride's pickup time (not early) so no chance to have gate crashing... Hahaha... after that when he arrive just tell him to remind your sister that time is running out so cannot have gate crashing LOL.
 
Christy, haha. thats a good idea. Lotsa of my guy friends though of that too,
and 2 of my friends (1 was late, 1 act late), and they managed to get their wife without the gatecrash
 
I like this thread
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I don't feel like having gatecrash too.. although I also received comments of "so easily married off if no gate crash" =/

If there's no gate crash, is it weird that the groom just enter the house like that??
 
Hi Starfrost! No, it is not weird at all!! Really!;-) I just had my big day a month ago and there is absolutely no awkwardness at all, the happiness in your household will be sufficient!!
 
my MIL already felt that making those guys wear disposable undies was already very humilating..my sis insist on very mean tricks to my FB..coz she told him wont let him so easily marry me..that time we went to temple..the 'Shifu' also said..he has been a bro for alot of times..saw a lot unpleasant thingy during gatecrushing..there was once when the Jiemeis really overdid it..the groom just flare up and left..and he said by right this occasion is to be those happy ones..do those happy ways..and not those torturing/humilating..he even sadi Teochew traditional (which is me) dont even need gatecrushing..just sit at the living rm and wait for the groom to fetch me..

my MIL is those old fashion thinking and my FB is her only son..so i think will try to tell my jiemei to be nicer to them..coz MIL is the last person on earth u wan to offend..hahaah
 
i also dun like the idea of gate crash duno who in the world invented tis issue...haa......... damn..........but my "sisters" a bit getting out of hand...i tink i wuold counter them by givin them my ideas first instead..i would prefer sme more romantic and more memorable...RATHER THen HUMILIATION!!!! =)
 
ya we will always be laughing at others HB being tortured at the gatecrushing..but think when it come to our own HB, think dont have the heart to do ba..haha..

but on the 2nd tot, also must let the groom know that it's not easy to marry u..that's y got those mean tricks to test their love 4 u..

super confusing..

but since my MIL already give the red light..and i will be living with her..better to warn my jie mei and sis abt it..
 
actually i dun understand why must "torture" or "make a fool" to the groom and the brothers... still need a test meh on ur wedding day? so does that mean if ur husband refuse to play along, he fail the test?? then what's next? cancel the wedding??

i also very headache with this gatecrashing... i want the groom to be as beautiful as me that day... i dun want my groom to smell with sweat early in the morning.... but the sisters keep insisting to do the games... the whole gang of the ladies can be very crazy that i mysf is "scare"...

haiz...
 
yellow, preciseli..agreed with u... haha..dilemma...i personaly dislike tat idea..so instead of those silli craps...perhaps if we reali cant do away tat "silli gatecrash"... implement ideas lik....IQ Questions/draw u a nice card on the spot....bla bla bla...shld just do the trick.. ...it wd be much more pratical rite..... at the end of the day, only bride n groom will remember wat really happen..dont tink the rest will bother to rem the moment? so i guess it shold be a pleasure one instead of "torturing" lol
 
ya lor child or can anyone advise me what is the best way to reject those what push up lah, wear adult pamper lah, drink those cannot be drunk stuff lah... at the same time not to "offend" the jie meis lah, yet to "save" my handsome groom? :p

sometimes...really...dunno is it my wedding or the jie meis' one... they simply forget who is the bride or the main host that day... guess they only want to have fun nia...
 
ya i was telling one of the jiemeis yest that i might take off the gatecrashing... but i still allow them to "fight" for the angbao lah for door open...

i don't think by not having the gatecrashing those stupid games is a spoilsport... on the other hand the spoilsport could be the jiemeis instead... who say all wedding must make the guys wear bras, panties n pamper?? don't have all these mean no fun meh?? aren't a wedding supposed to be sweet and beautiful? why must create a "fool" image on a wedding? they only thought of themselves that they want to have funs and laughters... they do not really think in our brides' shoes...

i do not want to compromise an one-time laughter for my friends and end up earn a life-time blame from MIL... MIL is the last woman on earth that i want to offend!

*sigh* really feeling very sian dealing with these "headaches"...

why must it be we pleasing the others? can't they please me?
 
ya i was telling one of the jiemeis yest that i might take off the gatecrashing... but i still allow them to "fight" for the angbao lah for door open...

i don't think by not having the gatecrashing those stupid games is a spoilsport... on the other hand the spoilsport could be the jiemeis instead... who say all weddings must make the guys wear bras, panties n pamper?? don't have all these mean no fun meh?? isn't a wedding supposed to be sweet and beautiful? why must create a "fool" image on a wedding? they only thought of themselves that they want to have funs and laughters... they do not really think in our brides' shoes...

i do not want to compromise an one-time laughter for my friends and end up earn a life-time blame from MIL... MIL is the last woman on earth that i want to offend!

*sigh* really feeling very sian dealing with these "headaches"...

why must it be we pleasing the others? can't they please me?
 
i won't be havin gate crash too... we don't find it meaningful at all and i won't be having ang bao asking session!!!

can still give sisters ang baos right?
 
Sure! That's what i did too! No gate crash but we still give a little token to the friends since they woke up early and helped us, etc.
 
PK... how much did u give?

Shyli, I won't have express highlight. We don't even have a pro videographer. Only photog. First march-in, we will have a pro photo montage done by our Photog. Second march-in, will be a surprise - a wedding dance.. for our guests.
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Actually, if you want, there are a few things you can do:
- Do a video of you both... like informal video with speeches and a mix of your dating days photo / pre-wedding photos to thank the guests.. in this case, you can skip speaking on stage too
- It's not necessary to have two march-ins. so, u don't need express highlights.
- Instead of express highlights, you can put an animation of your story.

And so on...

Cheers!
 
Hi girls! For the token ang pao, we gave $18 and of course, lunch is catered. Must at least feed them well.;-)

I did not have express highlights, obviously. Still two march in. The video shown after the first march in includes our pre wedding shoots+dating pictures. My father-in-law invited me for the first dance, totally spontaneous! I did my second march-in much later (at around the 5th or 6th dish), a very short thank u to the guests so no giving of flowers to parents, etc. We kept it joyous!;-) and then, a close friend's son (he is 4 years old:-) gave us his wedding gift-a volin performance of 3 songs.

I strongly recommend, if budget permits, hire a wedding band. If the band is good, it will definitely help to bring up the mood and push it to a finale of sorts.
 
Hi girls! For the token ang pao, we gave $18 and of course, lunch is catered. Must at least feed them well.;-)

I did not have express highlights, obviously. Still two march in. The video shown after the first march in includes our pre wedding shoots+dating pictures. My father-in-law invited me for the first dance, totally spontaneous! I did my second march-in much later (at around the 5th or 6th dish), a very short thank u to the guests so no giving of flowers to parents, etc. We kept it joyous!;-) and then, a close friend's son (he is 4 years old:-) gave us his wedding gift-a volin performance of 3 songs.

I strongly recommend, if budget permits, hire a wedding band. If the band is good, it will definitely help to bring up the mood and push it to a finale of sorts.
 
wow.. PK.. that was nice...
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it sounded really fun and memorable. honestly, i think gate crash isn't memorable for the couples. i always feel that the night events should be the most meaningful. it's afterall, the main celebration! not the morning events.

i hope mine will be as fun as yours! haha.. we are trying to take things easy and make ours as joyous and light-hearted as possible.
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i just saw some comments further in the earlier posts...

girls... why would you say "i agree to marry you" if he hasn't been doing enough to win you over right?

there's no need to wait till the Big Day to make it difficult to bring you away! haha...

remember, by this time.. on this Big Day... it's a celebration for both of you... not a test anymore.

But some brides do think that Gate Crash is fun.

for HSL.. i think you should give ideas of the games so as to control the situation. JMs should understand that YOU are the main person on this day... ;)
 
Thanks Cindy! I am in total agreement with u!:-) I had some friends that were pushing for Gate Crash but i remembered saying that "my hubby had sweated enough during our courtship days so he deserves his BIG Day too!" So, no games, nothing!;-)

I mentioned that my hubby brought along a bouquet of flowers for my mum. She was smiling from ear to ear lor! I think these are the Priceless moments!

And if you have not finalise your menu, i suggest having a dessert buffet. This is amazing for guest interaction!
 
pk... i think we think quite similarly. i want to have guest interaction.

thanks for the suggestion. i'll see what my hotel can do for us.

in fact, i want to check with you.. since u sound like the unconventional type of bride.

did you have table shoots? i am trying to do away w it and replace it with something else.. because.. it is so boring.. haha..

but.. i simply can't think of anything that would not offend my guests.. or make certain guests feel less important.
 
Cindy, i have to admit that most of my ideas are possible because i have a small dinner by local standards..only 10 tables.

With regards to table shoots, i only had them after my second march-in. Meaning after the first march-in, we were able to sit down and enjoy our dinner (for a bit;-) and then we went around to the tables, purely for chit-chat. At this point, the photographer did not follow us. After the second march-in and after our little friend has performed, we did another tour, and this time, the photographer went with us for the formal shots.

I am not against table shoots per se so my photographer would put the journalistic pictures first when he lays out the album and the tables shoots come last.

What you could do is to assign a child to take pictures; our little friend took some pictures for us; very very cute perspective. I saw some threads about leaving disposable cameras on the table and i dun think that works. If u want posed pictures, u are better off getting your photographer to take them!
 
thanks PK. i hear you.

for us, we will have 35 tables. honestly, it's difficult if we want to have more interaction. the only way is to start on time so that we have more time at the end.

it seems like staying away from table shoot is not quite possible. i also can't think of anything else to do with this kinda' guest size.
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Hi, I am looking for some meaningful gatecrashing activties b4 my bridemaids "overdo" it on my wedding day.
Any Suggestion? Hope someone can help.
Thanks
 
i also dont like the idea of gatecrash. ermmm but without it it seems abit dull for that morning? i dunno.

but i find some games abit over for the man. all of them are sweating like pigs and it is supposed to be a big day for the man too! so i think the games should be something more simple, maybe eat some food which they dislike for life! or simple games lah which dont need to perspire alot. i pity the guys at times haha
 
no point gate crash in sg la. in sg everyone keep thinking is the girls sabo the guys. why it is so.. because our gahmen protect the girls very much. i have been to gatecrashing in other countries. the guys really kena big time during gatecrash, but once the gate is crash, all the bros attack back the jiemeis... i even encounter once, attack the prettiest one and throw out her underwear and the weird thing is the girls dont even mind cos it's marriage and happy event, maybe it's normal for them.

gatecrash in sg.. all the guys like idiot only. gatecrashing is brothers crash the gate while the jiemei protect the gate. after my few experiences during overseas, i never wanted to be a brother anymore for gatecrashing in sg.... see my sg buddies all like yes-man and tio dog treatment still must smile smile... heart pain. cant do anything to girls too, confirm tio court case.. booo~
 
personally i feel that whether a not you want a gate crash or whether how you wan the gate crash to be like (may it be be wild and fun or romantic and memorable), just let your jiemeis know directly. no point going to the extent of having the groom to come up with excuses like being late etc to escape the gate crash.

there is one important cost being overlook=> the PG and VG. surely you wan them to capture the most out of every penny you spent on them. for my best fren's wedding, she told me specifically tat she hired the VG as she wans to witness the fun and hirarious moment during the gate crash which she will miss out on. so i personally told the groom that, we wun be seeking much for $$$ but it is important that he understnad that he shouldnt waste his own money for hiring a videographer who captures nothing during the gate crash and he agrees with it (meaning being early and on time for gate crash to go through the games) =) anyway the groom himself luvs fun n the gate crash was nothing humiliating and we had lots of fun both jiemeis and xiong dis =) seriosuly if it had been a boring one, the groom might be upset himself while watching the video highlight.

as for my gate crash (my wedding was only a few days apart from my best fren), i told my jiemeis i wan something sweet and simple and came up with the gate crash ideas myself. all the jiemeis were understanding and coorperated in making sure my hubby finishes his task rather than $$$.
http://christineandvitor.blogspot.com/2009/12/tea-ceremony-highlights-of-princess.html

it was in the end very fun and memorable for both of us brides looking back at the videos.

so do customise ur own gatecrash to your own needs but do rem to maxmise out ur bucks spent on the PG and VG. as for ur jiemeis => surely they are ur close pals and wans it the best for you!
 
Hi im not having gatecrash too
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Hate to see the same old things over and over again at weddings...boring..

For my second march-in, im going to show a surprise video/montage to thank our parents and good friends for all the love they had showered on us these years. Afterall, there's no other day which u are able to thank them in front of so many pple, making them feel really honoured and proud.
 
I also dont want gatecrashing...its quite bo liao and troublesome but my HTB wants to go ahead with it. Is he mad or what??? Maybe he thinks it will be an interesting/funny memory?
 
maybe he feels is fun and once in a life time experience. haha i am not into gash crashing too. yah simply because is just doing for the express highlight lo. eventually he will still get to marry me after so much of preparations has been done etc....so thanks for sharing the ideas (like having a video to thank those around me and my husband) more meaningful i guess.
 
Glad to see this thread as I am also not into gatecrashing (although I have been a jiemei before and was quite mean). First of all, my fiance is the type that hates to be embarrassed and I am not sure if he "can take it"? Secondly, he is not the very extroverted type and to capture all of these in video and photo, I think it will be either an ugly sight or just bad memories.

I am thinking of having a romantic "gatecrash", more on proclamation of love, signing of "agreement"... ?
 
Actually, gate crashing can be done in a romantic and fun way. those that make the groom and his brothers wear bra, disposable underwear/pampers etc is quite over the top. I mean think of it this way..it may be fun at that moment but 20yrs down the road, you take your DVD out and watch it again with your kids, wouldn't it seem ultra chldish?

What i have in mind is the bride and sisters can make a "ai xin" breakfast that consists of all the aspects of life. sweet sour bitter and hot/spicy. Given that no one has had their breakfast and it'll be fun to see their facial expression when they start eating. Then post a few qns or get them to play treasure hunt for the keys to the gate. Wouldn't tt be more interesting and meaningful?
 
I'm also not having gatecrash. Just church wedding followed by wedding lunch banquet.

any pple got any ideas if no gate crash, wat can we show for express highlights?
 


Avatar>> Even no gatecrashing, still have tradition such as parent comb hair, child open car door, fetching bride, etc. If hav time, can put church wedding inside (dont know how is your arrangement).
 
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