Dilemma between true love and current love

J

jane85

New Member
I'm in a dilemma. I've known my ex-bf, A, since I was 16 yrs old and had gone on with him for about 5 yrs before we broke up. The break-up was not mutual. He initiated it coz there were lotsa probs after his dad passed away and he couldn't handle them. So he just wiped me out of his life. Before that we had a few break-ups which were the types that were common between couples. Anyway, unable to take the separation, I went online to make more frens and met B. B was very sweet to me and was also in the same boat as me, separated from his gf. We consoled each other and got together in a few mths. However, life wasn't tt sweet after the honeymoon period. We realised we had lotsa differences and we'd nothing in common. We din have much of a life except just meeting up on sats having meals together or goin to his house. He's extremely quiet with me too n hardly talks. Things got boring. His job also required him to travel overseas for mths, so I feel even more dead bored without him ard. Thruout the three yrs we were together, my ex, A, kept trying to contact me. He realised his mistake of letting me go and asked me back. Bt I refused once though my heart ached for him. Eventually he tried to move on but he was not able to.
One day, B proposed marriage n I thought perhaps planning for the wedding n getting married will bring us closer so i agreed. Our parents met up to talk abt it and we also started planning abt the wedding n house n etc. We got slightly closer but still i din feel any better. On n off i thought abt my ex as my ex still contacted me. I always think how nice if B can be just as close as A to me. However, I still was not able to communicate well with B. Recently B went overseas for 4 mths. A contacted me few wks after B left. I met up with A over coffee and realised i still has whole lot of feelings for him and he too for me. Now I'm in a dilemma. I dunno if I shld go on with the wedding with B or end everything and go back to A? What if I'm nt happy with B after marriage? It'll be too late to change things. Now I'm nt married yet. I told B that maybe things mite nt work out for us. He's totally devastated. I feel so bad that I hurt him. Bt I dun wanna hurt him in the long term. Pls advise me. My mind says B bt my heart yearns for A.
 


Joanne :

I suggest u give yourself a "time off" and ponder over the issue seriously. In the meantime dun meet any of them and just spend time with urself so u can ve more private space to ponder what u want.

I was like you b4, worry I hurt the man and end up marry him..i did not love him much then. END UP ? we will complete our divorce in few months time cos along the way, i cant love him the way he should be loved.

SO dun be like me, just rem, u will hurt B if eventually the marriage has to end up in divorce on the basis that you love A more.

Is important to marry the man you love, you want to be with and not for cos u worry u hurt him.

Hope what i shared helps, just rem whoever you want to be with you, rem to go for pre-marital counselling b4 marriage, it will help u in a long way to come.

THO i m soon to be divorced, but i ve learn some lesson. But joanne rem, is also important we love ourself so that we can love others.

Wish your marriage blissful & xin fu.
 
Anna, I dun mean to poke but wat was the cause of the divorce? Do u too have a first love tt u r tinking abt? For me, i believe A is my soulmate i can share anything i want with him just talk to him for hrs. Wherea this is nt the case with B. I yearn so much to pour my heart n be close to me. However he's nt very approachable n I just dun do it. I know he'll take good care of me after marriage. He is taking care of me very well now but the feelings aren't there...
 
Joanne, I think you should just avoid them for the time being or do not choose either of them at all.

Because you does not seem to know what you want and what you need is companionship.

What had you learnt after leaving A's side initially? Why did you get together with B in the first place? How do you feel being with B now? What where you see yourself few years down the road? With or without A or B? I think either way gonna crash unless you reflect about it first. On top of that, love is not about who treating who well and gratitude. And it's unhealthy to live your life around your partner. When they are not around, do pick up some activities to occupy yourself with.
 
Yes.. I'm just very confused. It's been a mth already n I'm still thinking n thinking. I was shattered after A left. I so badly wanted to move on and was in a very bad shape. So i just went on dating lightly to keep my mind off A. Tt's when i found B. He was there for me, courted me. I wanted to be purely frens but he kept asking me to be with him. So I thought since he was so sincere to me n A left me, then y nt? So I went on.. Bt we are so different n we keep having quarrels every now n then. Every weekend i end up in tears and he always get angry.. It's taking a toll on me. N to make things worse, he's a sailor n he goes overseas often leaving me behind for mths.. It's a big mistake agreeing to marriage.. Bt I can't turn time back now. Honestly, I just can't see myself in the future. Dunno where i'll end up. I feel bad breaking B's heart by telling him my feelings. Bt this has always been happening. I take pity n go back to him n it becomes a vicious cycle..
 
You can't turn back time but you can decide what to do from now on and make your choices. Because your compromise now does not gaurantee you staying in the future too. As of now you had already see what is to come but yet you are staying.

Love is not pity. This both you and B has to understand.
 
I realised that.. A is like trying his best to win my heart back. I still love him bt am veri cautious as well. I also want to test to see how patient he can be and how much he realli wants me. He's done alot such as deleting his Facebook account, quit clubbing and all. I'm like to waiting for a sign to tell me wat to do from here. I'm left hanging n also leaving A hanging..
 
U've actually know what you want to do. You are just procrastinating. And look, you will be doing B much more unjust by letting him down in the future.

Whereas for A, it is uncertain at all. I still feel is best that you take a break from the both of them and just isolate yourself. If not, it's just gonna be vicious cycle.
 
u need to b honest with urself! Just a question for u to tink over, if not bcos of A wanting to get back with u will u b happy to marry B? I just want u to be sure of wat u really want! Dnt endup breakup with B then u realised u want to be with him!

When u make a decision just make sure that is what u really want & dnt regret after that! Dnt marry B endup regret that decision or dnt regret after u r back with A!

Gd luck!
 
Facebook account can be easily set up again; clubbing can be picked up again.

No, I am not discouraging you from giving A another shot. On the contrary, I would say to go with your heart. But do know that even if you go back to A, it doesn't mean done deal, as in happily together ever after. People change over time - you and him.
 
SillyWoman, I doubt I'll be blissfully happy with B. I dun like his family (as in bros n sis-in-laws), cannot click with his frens (he say i very anti-social when i'm just shy n nth in common with them) and hate the fact that he sails so often n for long term. Yes he does make me happy at times and gives me the security. Bt we have more downs than ups. He misunderstands me very often, I feel forced to do things his way... I dunno if we'll ever reach the same level of understanding. As for A, I feel very comfortable with him i can see myself living with him. Bt I'm still cautious as he has left me once. He's trying his best to win me back i can see tt. Bt I'm just stubborn to go back. I dun think it's rite to just run back to him as well. I need to be alone. I just feel so sad letting B down. I know how it feels to break up when yr planning to get married.. We even got a flat ( have nt signed agreement yet).. Our parents have met each other and agreed to the marriage n all.. N now I shattered him.. Bt I'm scared to be shattered in the end. Divorce is gonna be even more messy.
 
I also feel forced to marry B coz my parents alrdy know abt our relationship and they dun like A for leaving me in the past. My relatives all know B so my mom esp is scared of losing face. I dun wanna bring shame to my family so i feel i need to marry B to save their face.. Also will be hurting B's parents who treat me like their daughter..
 
At least others are happy... but dunno how long i can last doing that.. Only common thing holding B and myself is religion. A is of diff religion. Now A wants to convert to make things easier for me. Bt I've told him to hold coz I've nt made up my mind abt returnin to him.
 
I seriously don't think that you are ready yet. Living your life for the expectation of others? Bear in mind that you have a good 40 - 60 years ahead and you are going to be the one going through it.

You can be noble and claim as long as others happy enough. But in time to come, very likely you will be putting the blame on those who are happy now for the misery that you would be going through.
 
Sure, others would be happy that you pick B, but you are going to live out that decision and face the consequence, not them. They are not going to feel the misery and unhappiness you feel.
 
joanne, i dnt knw y u say yes to B to begin with but that is no longer impt as u clearly knw wat u want now! u cnt see any happiness with B then dnt waste his time & ur time anymore! By getting marry just make things worst! Wat if u got kids after marriage then u just make things harder for both of u if u want to leave him in the future!

u knw wat u want so do wat is the best for u & not others as u r responsible for urself only! take care!
 
I got together with B coz he was really sweet to me and helped me forget the pain after my brkup with A. He showered me with love and attention. Later, despite knowing our differences, I still gave chance, hoping things will work out. Things aren't so bad tat we hate each other. Bt we do quarrel very often. We do not share any interest together. I like to open up n communicate with him, but he doesn talk much. He eats in silence n is very uptight. I get scared of him when he gets angry n jus say sorry so tt he will calm down. I get lectures frm him. Bt end of the day he still does sweet things like buying me stuff or taking leave for my driving test etc. He says he scolds me coz he sees me as his wife so he has the right. It's been three yrs since i got together with B. So i feel guilty just leaving him like tt and wasting 3 yrs of his youth.
 
"He says he scolds me coz he sees me as his wife so he has the right. It's been three yrs since i got together with B. So i feel guilty just leaving him like tt and wasting 3 yrs of his youth."

so next time u are legally his wife, he has the right to beat you up or cage you in??? sorry but
this kinda 'right' makes no sense to me loh...

waste 3 yrs now or risk wasting longer time in future...
 
joanne,
i think you're making other feel happy temporary. what if one day, you decided to leave him because you just can't take it anymore? you're very sure this will not happen? wouldn't that be worse and more cruel?
 
I was young and very sought after. Unfortunatley I fell in love with A who does not return my love. I committed suicide but failed. He came to see me in the hospital and told me attachment is suffering, so he does not wish to get attach.

My husband and I were colleagues, he saw my heartbreak, he saw me dating one man after another. He encouraged me, was patient with me, made me laugh. Most importantly of all, he loves knowing I cannot forget A. He gave in to me all the time accepting my flaws. To sum up, he's that kind who would try to get the moon for me if I ask him. What a GEM!

He waited for me for 5 years. My relatives kept asking me to marry him saying it's better to be loved than to love. As by then I've the urge to settle down and have children whom I love, I married him.

My daughter was borned and it added great pressure and strain on my marriage. My husband turned out to be not the hands on kind. I was so exhausted from caring for a difficult, cringy and demanding baby 24/7. I went into deep depression.

Out of the blue, his parents and 3 sisters moved into our 5-room flat. I went back to work and got a maid to help me out with my daughter. But, things just gets worse. MIL cannot get along with maids, vice versa. I work in a financial institution, so you know how demanding my job was. I came home drained only to hear problems and complaints. My husband got sandwiched, dare not take sides, he ended up not pleasing anyone.

My depression got even worse.

Now with 2 more boys, and having gave up my job 11 years ago at my husband's request, things are even worse between us. Long gone is the gentle, accommodating, giving man. He's more successful now. Head of a division, who has surbordinates under him. But, he's chnaged. I now have a husband who attack my self-esteem, puts me down, failed to support me emotionally and tried to wriggle out of his financial obligations. Somehow, he stopped seeing eye to eye with me on everything, he misunderstood my intentions. I also don't understand what's he trying to tell me nowadays. Our gap has grown very wide.

Yes, people do change. Can see you are very clear which way your relationship's going to head if you marry your B. You are regreting your decision, but don't know how to get out of it for fear of hurting B.

Tell yourself, short pain is better than long pain. 20 years later, you might end up like me, alone and lonely, feeling helpless. Divorce also cannot, stay also cannot.

Grit your teeth and tell them you're not going through this. There'll be a lots of noise and blaming, finger pointing, but few months later, rain will pass and the sun will come out. I've not seen sun for 9 years and I'm not sure if the sun will ever come out for me.

As for A, do not make hasty decision. You got to learn from mistakes. From my experience, my advice is to marry someone who loves you more than himself, who's filial to his parents and responsible to his siblings, and show respect even for the cleaners.

All the best to you. Cheers!
 
Joanne

To answer your question, we divorced cos he has affair with his female colleague. This is cos he says he does not get the love/care/significance from me.

Honestly, I do feel very angry with his betrayal, but as I think about it. I do bear some wrong too. I married just cos "pity and dun wish to hurt him", end up ? along the way, I am "handicapped to love him", but feel with more resentment toward him or myself. And, he find solace in his colleage, who is married as well. Maybe they both dun get love from their spouse, and hence "Click" faster.

Actually, many posts up there has given you very good advice. You should seriously consider what they say. IS A big mistake u married to please ur family or what "save face issue ". IS ur marriage, not them, Think for yourself, what you want, not what save their face.

Afterall, it depends on what you want, cos no one can change your values or thoughts, but you "find answers" from the posts up there, they have given you good advice. Read thru them again.
 
B is causing some inconvenience. I alrdy told him i dun want to talk for some time to get my thoughts rite. Bt he's calling up my house or office to keep asking why i'm doing this. N he's sending emails that pains me so much. He says i treat him like toy all these yrs and i was fake towards him and that I'm just a normal girl instead of the special one he had in his heart.. It's painful..
 
I've read alot of threads in this forum and realised that ppl change over time. It's so difficult to make a decision when I dunno wat's gonna happen in the future. Who will change suddenly and all.. It's just so scary.. I suddenly realise I dunno what love is or how love is suppose to be..
 
Joanne,

You've hurt B, so you must be prepared to let him lash out at you. It may turn ugly depending on what can of man he is. You may not get sympathy from relatives and friends, after all you're the one who did the dumping. Be strong, all this will blow over eventually. Better now than later. At least you have a job to distract you from the trouble.

I'm sorry if we here scares you with our story. Love is an apetizer, what keeps a marriage strong is committments (this includes committment to accept each other irregardless of how one changes), responsibility, communication, respect and the ability to empathise and understand each other. AND both parties must share this same beliefs for the marriage to work because if only one party is practising it, it won't work either.

Therefore, not all marriages are doomed. The important thing is to find someone who shares the same beliefs as strongly as you.

My marriage failed because my husband's very egoistic. He does not like to talk, let alone tries to understand.
 
There are so many similiar stories in this forum. Once again, why ask for opinions when u already know the answer where B is concern?

No one will encourage u to marry a guy that u dun love. Tell your parents abt this and ask them if u should marry B. Believe they'll say no too, so dun hv to b concern abt their faces.

Let B say whatever he wants. He's angry n upset, so may rant it out on u. Would u rather the short term blame, or face a failed marriage? Just close 1 eye to him n bear w him. He'd stop when he's over u.

The one that we r concern abt is A. What makes u think that A is your true love? Years have passed, what he was b4 doesn't necessary mean he's like that still.

And y only A? There are so many fishes in the sea. Since u r still single n available y dun u take this opp to make more friends, expose urself to more choices, b4 jumping into any r/s? If A is still ur choice ultimately, then who can stop u from being with him?
 
Joanne,

I can only give you personal advice... as a person "been there, done that".

As some say, there is no guarantee. Maybe after marriage, you will find B better or long for him. Or maybe your heart is right, A is indeed the one for you. Or wait... Maybe... neither A nor B is better. There's a C that is the best which you have not met and if only you give yourself more time to search for one.

The truth is, there is never a Best or the Right One. Some attribute it to Fate for finding their partners. Others thank their mutual friends for the introduction.

I will assure you if you hang out with more guys out there, you will likely find some who are even better than A or B.

The questions is about deciding to pick on ONE only. Some cannot and want to cherish their freedom. So they choose never to get married. Why get yourself tied down to 1 partner only? Better to have "fun" with a few and never lose variety.

In your case, I'm not sure if you're ready for marriage. Usually, when there are doubts like these, I'd advice you to give yourself more time to think it through and work out your emotions.

I can assure you whichever you choose now, A or B, you will have some form of regrets after the marriage cos you will still be thinking of the other. And when the slightest problems arise, you will wonder if you have made the right decision, instead of working out those problems.

Not sure if you are still young now, say 21-25 years old? Whatever it is, don't rush into marriage. Don't get swept away by all the lovey-dovey feelings/words the guys may throw you with. Or what the advertisements and other people may tell you.

Many couples, the young ones especially, who rush into marriage don't realize it's not the kind of "heaven" they think it is during courtship. Dating period is often labelled as a "honeymoon" period Marriage is a stage where many problems will come in and if the foundation of love is not built strong, it can break down easily. In your case, I don't sense that strong roots in marriage yet.
 
Yes, I'm near mid-20s. Ppl have told me I'm too young to get married too. I also feel I'm def nt ready now. I dun even know who i wanna be with! It's just the mess I'm creating now. When I hear my mom scolding or B's parents being sad, I just feel it's best to go back to B and clean up the mess. Bt my happiness will be compromised. B's dad called me n begged me to talk to B nicely till he gets back from overseas. Seems he's nt eating n all. N B also mentioned in his email that he's thinking of flying back now.
 
Dear, hang on, you're half way there already. Don't give up to pressure and ruin your future. It's they cry now or you cry later!

Remember, be strong against the current, do not let it sweep you away.

If you're in any religion, you need your God's strength. Pray!

When I was separated for a year, bringing up my 3 years old daughter on my own, living under other people's roof, being kicked from one house to another. My greatest suffering was seeing my daughter suffered with me. I cried for half the year. I managed to survive that one year because of God's strength. I went to church every Sunday and listen to Christian songs to and from work on the MRT. Without this strength from him, I think I would have ended up in the hospital with depression.

So, hang on!
 
joanne, dnt even think of going back to B now & hope that B will treat nothing has happen & get marry happily! Seriously the damaged is alrdy done so just leave him alone now! If he is a man he will face it & get over it! All he needs now is TIME but how much time he needs nobody knws!

Now the best thing to do is to ignore B & his family completely! Dnt see or talk to him anymore if possible go for a holiday & get away frm all these!

Like u said u r not ready for anything now so just be single for the time being no hurry to commit to any r/l!

Stay strong & stay focus! u r only responsible for urself so dnt let others affect ur decision!
 
I'm answering B's parents calls and his calls coz I'm afraid he'll do something silly. I dun want fingers pointing at me if anything happens. B's dad stressed that he want us to talk abt this after B comes back frm his trip which is in Aug.

Do u think i was wrong in telling him all this when he's away at sea? I dunno if it was a rash thing to do. I regret doing tt. Was I selfish?
 
well there is no gd ways to tell someone u want to leave him! ok r u saying u regret breaking up with him or u regret telling him when he was away?

it must be very stressed that u r still in contact with B & his family! Is there still things left to say to him? I doubt so & i just want to stress that there is no easy or nice ways to breakup with a person so expect more nasty things to come up & get urself mentally & emotionally ready!

It seems to me that u r leaning towards going back to B bcos u afraid he will do something silly & u afraid how others will see u! Dnt live in other people expectations! If u want to be unhappy for the rest of ur life then go ahead & marry B & please everybody except urself!

just to ans ur ques, yes u r selfish cos u tink of urself 1st than B but can anyone said u r wrong i dnt tink so bcos LOVE itself is selfish!
 
What's done is done so don't think about it. If he's a strong man, it doesn't matter when, where or how you break the news.

I can understand why you choose to break the news in this way. You probably dare not break it to his face or worried he'll come charging at you straitaway.

When I was young, I have this man who threatened to jump off the building if I don't return to him. My brother told me to let him jump, as a man if he cannot take a this kind of setback, he should not be living. He won't jump, because it takes a lot of courage to jump and if he does not even have the courage to face up to this break, you think he has the courage to jump?

My brother was right. He did not jump and I guess when that threat failed to make me returned, he sort of realised it's finally over and left me alone.

When things goes wrong, finger pointing is very natural. Therefore, do think carefully before you make any big decisions in future.

This is a great site where you can always ask for opinions when in doubt.
 
I regret telling it to him when he's away. Yes I did tt coz I was a coward to tell him in his face. I know he'll flare and I'm super scared of him when he's angry. I always try to avoid fighting with him. We always quarrel I end up brking off bt always get back coz he'll be sad and say things to win me back. He has gone thru a difficult relationship in the past before so he cannot take it tt it's happening to him again esp when we're thinking of marriage. Bt it so happened that my ex came back and the whole process got me thinking. Nt tt I'm gonna run into A's arms again, but i think reality just hit me at the same time.
 
Joanne,

i'll be honest. u know very well there's a trap in front of u and yet u're walking towards it... u can repeat to yourself it's a trap, but your legs are still walking towards it.

sometimes i wonder why do pple make it hard for themselves to just stop. and they make it seem like they are forced.

all the best to u cos u need it. with the way u think, marriage isn't the first problem... there's definitely MORE to come.

u dun have to live a drama. look for other things if your life isn't exciting enough... relationships are not the only thing there is and u dun have to choose between A & B. just let go of both...
 
Joanne,

It'll be better to just cut off contact cos u'll be pressured to give in when B's back and get to talk face to face. You gotta be firm.

Let me tell you a story of a sad old lady. She met a man in her 20s and tot he'd be a good choice to marry since he had a stable carreer, treats her well and has a car. But a few days before the wedding, she wanted to back out as she realised she din love him and he's temper and personality wasn't exactly tat good. He don't like kids (can't stand noise) and only feel the need settle down to continue family line. But her family wanted face, insist she must go thru it so they finally married. But what happened? Her hubby realised his wife din love him at all even after they had 2 kids. He gets abusive verbally and sometimes gets violent. She tolerated till her youngest kid was in Poly (when she's already in late 40s) then she left him, renting a room outside. Since she's already in her 50s now, to her it's no point to get a divorce. She still pays their flat with her CPF and her kid stays with her hubby in tat flat while she lives alone. Her kids even complaint tat it's their mum's fault for chosing to marry their dad since they did not have a normal childhood (parents always fight) and he's not a good dad.

C what i mean.

As for A, I agree with them, dun be hasty. Getting back with him doesn't mean u'll be happy. For all you know, he just want you back badly cos u're with someone else. Give it some time to c if this love between u and A can stand the test of time.
 
Hi Joanne,

I had been following this thread for quite a while. Honestly, i agree with powder that you are obviously walking towards a trap.

Advice is turn back before you go any deeper. At least when you pull out now, things will not turn too ugly.

I ever quarrel and argued with my mum over this guy whom i broke up with because she truely like him alot. She was so angry at that point that she asked me to stop bringing home males i don't intend to marry. Its not that i brought home alot of men but that was the 2nd male i ever brought home for show.

Ok.. the problem is not who i brought home. The point is ever since my mum saw that ex bf which she like, she really can hardly accept anyone else. So even when i bring home my fiance. She wasn't that willing to accept him as she was to my ex. My fiance have everything better (other than looks and height) than my ex. And is so much older of course but in whole he is a very good man. My mum took time to accept him and eventually did because she realized that i am happily attached to him. If you are worried about how others feel, i believe they will eventually feel your happiness and give you all their greetings.

I do agree with the others that you don't really have to chose between A and B. You may find a much better one as time comes. You are still young and from my guess you are same age as me. I am 24 this year. There is no defination to a correct marriage age as how old or how young for you to enter a marriage. Both my sisters got married at 21.

Think through properly what you want and you will see the light ahead of you.
happy.gif
 
I'd a long chat abt this with my dad. He's supportive and was disappointed I din tell him all this before. Anyway, B emailed a very long mail saying he wun disturb me and will always love me. Now I've no idea wat to do. Quite lost suddenly without a bf but i know i've to go thru life like tt. Do I immediately take back my portion of money from our joint acc and cancel the house? I feel too tired to do anything. We have only signed option to purchase bt nt the lease agreement yet. Will any of our CPF money be forfeited?
 
Hang in there girl! I suggest u take a break 1st the rest can wait when u r ready. If u had signed OTP i tink part of ur downpayment will b forfeited if u cancel the house now.
 
Joanne,

Yes, Cow cow is right. Only the 2K deposit will be forfeited. None of your CPF money is forfeited as you haven't made the 5% downpayment. This 2k money can be earned back in a month but youth lost in an unhappy marriage will be gone forever.
 
Look at it this way, an annulment or divorce definitely costs more than $2K. You are better off losing your $2K deposit to HDB.
 
I was just worried my CPF money will be forfeited. If it's only the 2K then I dun really care. Now it's gonna be tough facing the world and informing relatives the wedding is nt gonna take place n tt he's no longer in my life. I've developed a phobia for relationships now. I used to feel so dreamy at weddings waiting for my turn. Bt now it's like a nightmare to me..
 
Joanne,
It's gd tt u made the rite decision of not committin nw...
I went thru tough times as well...
U'll nv feel hapi if u hv to live under his command & do what he feels is rite for u.
Its onlly his side of tinkin...
anyway, gd luck to u..
 
Just go ahead enjoy time on your on and sort out your life agenda. Rethink over these relationships and harvest the experience from them.
 


Put it simply, u are not ready for marriage yet girl. Take ur time, go out to the outside world and get to mix around, make new friends. U may find someone whom u like even more than A or B.
 
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