Big Bad Wolf
New Member
Hi,
I am 31 years old, currently married for 2 years with a wife same age as me. We have a just-born 3 month old son whom i love dearly. Recently, I have been pondering on the decision on if I should divorce her. Too many arguments and too many bad points that I see in her. I know, she's the one whom i chose to marry in the first place. I thought I could change her. But turns out she's now more repulsive whenever I try anything.
It all started, even when we were dating. She's the type of woman who only sees how to get by day by day, does not think about the future, and does not have any savings AT ALL. Hence, I was the one who paid for our house, our marriage, and the hospital fees for the birth of our son. She has the mindset that its the man who should be providing. Yes, a man should be providing, but I work hard late into the night, almost missing meals everyday just to make ends meet. Her on the other hand, she just job hops, and always taking mc just to sleep at home, not informing me at all, and just slacking at home the whole day. During her pregnancy, when I told her its best to have a job so as to cover some expenses for at at least the first few months, she refused, and even got her family to scold me. I understand its difficult for a woman carrying a baby in her womb to be moving around, but I did find her an admin job, which she turned down without considering. I didn't mind providing more in the first place, its just I can't live with someone, who is contributing NOTHING. The reason for me suggesting her to find a job is to help fund the medical expenses which was coming up.
I'm a fan of the all important give and take in a marriage. I give in my own ways, without expecting any in return, like working hard to cover all expenses, and trying to help out with housework whenever I can. But she on the other hand, only believe on receiving. Yes she does cook, maybe once every 2 weeks or so, but she would demand that I wash the dishes whenever she cooked, while on the other hand I would buy food back for her everyday without fail. This only shows she would only do minimum for me, and I have yet to see her put in maximum effort in anything she does. Housework for another example, she would just complain and scold me if I did not help out, even when I had a tiring day at work. This would often lead to endless quarrelling. Here comes the best part. After almost every quarrel, she would just give up totally on our marriage, calling for divorce and moving back to her mums place. She has been treating this marriage as a game, as she wasn't the one paying anything. And i feel her mum has also coaxed her so much, to the extent that she could just abandon me anytime and move back home, without any worries. This time around, its worse, with her moving back with our son, leaving me all alone in the house for almost 3 months now.
I really don't see myself living with her in the near future, as I don't think i can stand such a selfish person, one who doesn't understand the meaning of give and take, and one who only cares about herself. I admit I was wrong to be giving her everything she wanted from the start, hence making her believe i was going to do that throughout, but I just can't believe how someone can just keep receiving without ever trying to contribute anything. I am also afraid that if i file for divorce, my house would be gone since I am not 35 years old yet. Please help.
I am 31 years old, currently married for 2 years with a wife same age as me. We have a just-born 3 month old son whom i love dearly. Recently, I have been pondering on the decision on if I should divorce her. Too many arguments and too many bad points that I see in her. I know, she's the one whom i chose to marry in the first place. I thought I could change her. But turns out she's now more repulsive whenever I try anything.
It all started, even when we were dating. She's the type of woman who only sees how to get by day by day, does not think about the future, and does not have any savings AT ALL. Hence, I was the one who paid for our house, our marriage, and the hospital fees for the birth of our son. She has the mindset that its the man who should be providing. Yes, a man should be providing, but I work hard late into the night, almost missing meals everyday just to make ends meet. Her on the other hand, she just job hops, and always taking mc just to sleep at home, not informing me at all, and just slacking at home the whole day. During her pregnancy, when I told her its best to have a job so as to cover some expenses for at at least the first few months, she refused, and even got her family to scold me. I understand its difficult for a woman carrying a baby in her womb to be moving around, but I did find her an admin job, which she turned down without considering. I didn't mind providing more in the first place, its just I can't live with someone, who is contributing NOTHING. The reason for me suggesting her to find a job is to help fund the medical expenses which was coming up.
I'm a fan of the all important give and take in a marriage. I give in my own ways, without expecting any in return, like working hard to cover all expenses, and trying to help out with housework whenever I can. But she on the other hand, only believe on receiving. Yes she does cook, maybe once every 2 weeks or so, but she would demand that I wash the dishes whenever she cooked, while on the other hand I would buy food back for her everyday without fail. This only shows she would only do minimum for me, and I have yet to see her put in maximum effort in anything she does. Housework for another example, she would just complain and scold me if I did not help out, even when I had a tiring day at work. This would often lead to endless quarrelling. Here comes the best part. After almost every quarrel, she would just give up totally on our marriage, calling for divorce and moving back to her mums place. She has been treating this marriage as a game, as she wasn't the one paying anything. And i feel her mum has also coaxed her so much, to the extent that she could just abandon me anytime and move back home, without any worries. This time around, its worse, with her moving back with our son, leaving me all alone in the house for almost 3 months now.
I really don't see myself living with her in the near future, as I don't think i can stand such a selfish person, one who doesn't understand the meaning of give and take, and one who only cares about herself. I admit I was wrong to be giving her everything she wanted from the start, hence making her believe i was going to do that throughout, but I just can't believe how someone can just keep receiving without ever trying to contribute anything. I am also afraid that if i file for divorce, my house would be gone since I am not 35 years old yet. Please help.