checking BF/husband handphone


Nope. never done that. In fact I dont even look at my partner's phone when he's messaging beside me.
 
Honesty is in our policy. So usually I'll just take his phone and see, he's cool with it. No passcodes on our phones cos we don't have such habits.
He would only ask who am I messaging to if I'm always using my phone.
 
Will see, but not secretly. I just take and see infront of him =D He used to peep over my shoulder to see mine, but now he just waits for me to be done cos I'll show him right after that, heh.
 
chivaslife88 said:
wont you girls be curious ? :(
Click to expand...

I think its more of a mutual thing... unless he has a history of lying to me then maybe I will be curious..

But now we 2 are very open to one another... we know who are the people we always talk and spend time with.. so there's nth for me to be suspicious or curious about...
 
chivaslife88 said:
wont you girls be curious ? :(
Click to expand...
If I'm curious I'll ask what he's texting/reading. Same goes for him. There's no need to be secretive when we trust each other. If I'm next to him I'll read while he shows me, and if he ask when he's next to me I'll show him too.

Strangely enough he wonders why I don't do the secret reading thing because he heard a lot of insecure/possessive gfs do that, so was a bit weirded out when we first started dating when he realised I'm super chill about things.
 
Doesnt sounds good to check secretly. Tell him honestly that you are curious.
I will jokingly say: "eh, msg-ing which girl again?" Usually he will show/tell me.
But I see him almost everyday, I guess there's nth curious about. Cos the more I ask, he will bombard me with his office stuff. :confused:
Plus we both love to play games on our phones, so we do swap phones around.
 
I think trust is important in a relationship. If you feel that you can't trust your partner, there may be a reason for that. It could be your problem or it could be his. What is the reason for checking his phone? What if you found something you can't accept ? What will you do?


Using SingaporeBrides app
 
ladies..this is a sad and contradictory topic...it all boils down to the man..I trusted whole heartily and never question his late night or mid night disappearance...but one day he left his other hp at home and when I tried to hand over to him, I accidently flipped open and saw what change my life and shocked me. So, if you choose trust, then don't ever ever touch his staff especially his cell. When I started to get back on my feet and date again, I found married man (so many of them) having one night fling and some of them...their wives had just given birth ! sigh... God bless ...
 
don't understand your point, just because you trust a man that cheated on you, somehow anyone else that trusts their spouses are somewhat being cheated on?!?
 
I don't need you to believe me nor do I gain popularity votes when my objective is to just share what the actual real male charactertics are.. defend your spouse ..it's all right...I dont deny there are good guys but the percentage is that little. I've seen so much and been through so much and all the "man" i meet happens to be in that catergory and look at the divorce statistic and observe. Anyway, suit yourself.
 
you need to reread. I said, I didn't understand what you are saying. Seriously, you think everyone here are females? What real male characterics are lol. INDEED.

Been through so much, well, u dated the entire population of males?

From blind faith to blind hatred. The world is so vast yet we insist to limit it to such opinionated views. Don't worry, I'm not doubting what you say at all. You probably did experience alot of cheaters and crap people. I know you probably meant every word you said. I'm just NOT agreeing with you.
 
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is it common , for all men to be so "flower mouth" with other girls ? I've seen flirty messages . I confronted my so , and he said he wasn't afraid of me looking at his phone cause he did not did anything wrong to me (which I believed him) , he said that this is the way he talked . sigh .
 
you should know him better than to ask strangers. How extrovert and sociable he is, you should already know. Don't you know his female friends? How does he behave with them?? If you ask if it is probably common, for men that enjoy flirting casually, and no for someone more reserved and there isn't a generic kind of person, every person have different traits. Understanding his traits will help you make a better judgement.
 
I dont check.. because i know only 2 outcomes. . Either there is nothing or there is something. I dont think i wanna know if there is something. ..hahaha..
 
It's like opening a pandora box. You really have to give it careful thot if you are prepared & capable to handle the truth.

Of cuz there are plenty of good guys around. I'm only saying this from a personal experience - You never really know a man until you have seen his phone & web browser history.

Don't rock the boat if you need the boat. But if you are like me, curious as a cat, cross your fingers and check to your heart's content :D
 
If you find something, you just opened a can of worms. It can lead to breakup or divorce.

If you find nothing, you show that you don't trust him even though he hasn't done anything wrong. Again, this can lead to breakup or divorce.

It's lose-lose.
 
I think that will be an awkward thing to do. I think doing so will make him angry. Keep your trust on him. Remember what you would have felt when he had done any such things with you.
 
Actually even if you've checked and found nothing, it doesn't mean there's really NOTHING. Evidence could have been destroyed. But it will not be for long. The truth will still surface eventually. Be brave
 
I don't.... I guess if someone wants to cheat, they can no matter what. Even if check HP or check emails... I don't think it helps. Just have to trust. Like flirt at work and have lunchtime "funtime"... we won't know either even if we check the phone. So... I think checking the phone makes him think I don't trust him and all the more he might do things that really disappoint me. So just leave it.

Sometimes he will show me his msgs but I've never asked to look.
 
Here is my story.

My hb and I have known each other for 15 years. I have never seen the need to check his handphone. In fact, I declared soon after we were attached that I value privacy a lot, and will never check on him. My theory is that, if a man wants to cheat, he can find 101 other ways to do so. In my heart, I kind of look down on those insecure ladies who check, call, and track down their men 24/7.

My hb knows my handphone passcode, and I know his. And for the past 15 years, I did not secretly check on him.

Recently, he fell asleep in the midst of working from home. Due to his hectic work schedules, he was always working late into the night. Then I heard his phone SMS tone came in. I decided to check his phone because I was worried it might be work related issues and I may have to wake him up to settle his work. It was never my intention to check on him.

The SMS is from a girl from a social dating website. It turned out that he has been chatting with several girls from chatting website. The late night messages were not to his colleagues. It was chats with these girls.

Right under my nose. Right beside me in our bed. Me and my stupidity.

After confronting him, he has promised not to chat anymore. I still believe he has not cheated on me physically. But I am still badly bruised from this abuse of my trust even though a few months have passed. I am trying to get over the issue, but being a proud lady as I am, I still think of it occasionally.

Am I making a big deal of the issue?
 
I do but its his ipad because he unfriend me from one of his FB account. I'm married for more than 15 years with 2 children. I have never doubted my husband and trusted him 100%. He enjoys the most freedom among his circle of friends. His friends told him that the wives felt safe when they are with him.

Few months ago, everything changed overnight, after he had a talk with me, basically blaming me for alot of things, putting me down and making feel worthless. I'm glad that I did because I found out that he and one of his female colleague have blogs (I cannot reveal from which website). I saw his love messages to the girl, quoting he loves her very much, since last year, no regrets, glad to have etc......

He must have thought that me, an IT idiot, who does not update herself will not find out!
 
here is my honest feedback. When people surf porn, all these site pop up all the time advertising chats with women etc.
I ignored it all these while. Until sometime, last month, out of curiousity, I clicked onto it, registered with a fake email to explore the site. Its full of all those accounts of women trying to chat you. No difference from most sex chat sites.

I didn't go on, as it has finally let me see what all these spams are promoting. Just usual online porn. I'm well aware of the risk of online sex chats or sharing any photos of video. Not stupid enough to do any of such things.

Now, there is no unsubscribe and cancellation option in the site at all. What surprised me it, it then spam me with lots of private messages apparently from women. Honestly, pretty obvious that its pushed by the server using some script to generate these spams. Log in and tried to find where I can stop all these. Found nothing.

In the end, I had to click on their online help chat, I then specifically asked to terminate the account. When through a Q&A to questions on why I would like to cancel. Even with that, there is still a newsletter, that you will need to manually request to unsubscribe to.

In the nutshell, these sites are spammers, once you registered thinking its no obligation, they make it difficult for you to stop them from sending you all the nonsense messages. You need to remember your userid and password and go in manually with all the steps I did to stop the spam. With online chat, it could start off with nothing, whether or not it becomes more, depends on the individual. These sites didn't just pop up only now. They will continue with all these tactics. When one come access some chat messages, don't need to over-react. Observe more than condemn. Overtime, you will know if he is entertaining all these thought to swing outside or not.
 
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milo, I actually thought of signing up anonymously to chat him up, and slowly test whether he will swing with the anonymous me. But I had no guts to do so. I am afraid of the outcome.
And that was one reason why I confronted and had a talk with him, rather than keeping quiet to observe, and try to "catch" solid evidence.
I also know that after this confrontation, it will be close to impossible to "catch" him again.

I dislike the current paranoid me.
 
for what? Frankly, hundreds of all this rubbish message and pop ups. Guys just look at the profile photos on display of all the gals online. See which is it sexy, click in and see if we like what we see in the chat. Some are live chats with video, women dancing to tempt members to pay for services, etc. online sex is a big business. Its exciting that its live and real person on the video and yet, you remain virtual behind the screen.

However, after a while, its boring actually. If he wants to cheat, he could have done it on any of the time he is out alone, locally or overseas. Does all the spying help? Instead, learn to read his body language. It tells you much.
 
darren-gal said:
milo, I actually thought of signing up anonymously to chat him up, and slowly test whether he will swing with the anonymous me. But I had no guts to do so. I am afraid of the outcome.
And that was one reason why I confronted and had a talk with him, rather than keeping quiet to observe, and try to "catch" solid evidence.
I also know that after this confrontation, it will be close to impossible to "catch" him again.

I dislike the current paranoid me.
Click to expand...

.... wow. I would feel the same really if that happened to me. I'm a very trusting loyal person... and at the slightest betrayal... I break down. Reading your dilemma is making me tear. *emotional* heh

Be strong and do what you think is best for two of you. :)
 
pinkpetter, you very emo lah. :) Thanks for your concern. Much appreciated..
I am taking it a little better each day, though I still need more time to sort out the contradiction in my heart / action.

Outwardly, I act like a tough cookie. At the inside, this cookie crumbles easily. But then if I need to cry, at least I'll cry alone.
I have never cooked since my hb/ then bf knew me. It's one of those things that I hate to do. But lately I took some baby steps to learn to cook some simple dishes. Just because he commented to one of the girls that "he has a soft spot for girls who can cook". I wish to tell him that I too, can cook, if I put my heart into it.
He doesn't like me to watsapp male friends or accept car rides home from male colleagues. Over the years, I gradually had lesser and lesser friends because I have more male close friends than females. I gradually drift away from these male friends because my hb doesn't like them.
Now I will watsapp my friends, males and females late into the night. And make time to catch up with them over meals whenever my schedule allows. I don't wish to care so much about whether my hb like or dislike them anymore.
 
chivaslife88 said:
hi girls, do you guys check your partner's handphone secretly ?
Click to expand...

I suggest you, not to do that.
It only shows that you dont have your own world.

I once had the same curiousity, and proving its true only torture both parties.
It's no longer about trust, its more to self empowerment.

Rather than being busy 'bother' alot about someone else (partner), better to start busy taking care of yoursef.
Have your own friends, have your own world.
Everytime you have the 'urge' to do so, remind yourself of your self worth.
You're not that desperate. :)
Whether he cheats/dont cheat, you are still someone with your own value to continue your own life with your own circles. So why bother. ;)

Cheers.
 
I started checking his messages when i became curious in the gal he was introduced to but their relationship didnt work. They somehow met thru a gathering when i was around too. He told me she was the one. i saw them looking at each other 'secretly'.

Was curious about what conversation they had last time. Managed to find it and knew there was nothing.

Prob with me is that i always dig the past and get jealous over it.

I heard from a gal that not trusting your guy shows how insecure you r and also the lack of confidence.

This will part of a gal is definitely unattractive :(
 
miuratohko said:
I started checking his messages when i became curious in the gal he was introduced to but their relationship didnt work. They somehow met thru a gathering when i was around too. He told me she was the one. i saw them looking at each other 'secretly'.

Was curious about what conversation they had last time. Managed to find it and knew there was nothing.

Prob with me is that i always dig the past and get jealous over it.

I heard from a gal that not trusting your guy shows how insecure you r and also the lack of confidence.

This will part of a gal is definitely unattractive :(
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being aware of your own insecurity is a very important first step to deal with your problem. If you have an understanding partner, he can help you through it. Personality, environment, history all influence one's perception and how trusting you are. The more positive one is, the less you need to dig. Its a cycle either way, break that cycle and gain the positive momentum.
 
If you want to track someone via cell phone, I think you should choose SpyToApp. It is a monitoring software is very effective, and is free to use again. I'm using this software, I feel very excited with what it brings. It's like solving a burden in my life.
 
David Geffen said:
If you want to track someone via cell phone, I think you should choose SpyToApp. It is a monitoring software is very effective, and is free to use again. I'm using this software, I feel very excited with what it brings. It's like solving a burden in my life.
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You have to install it to your partner hp right? who in the right mind will allow your partner to install a spy tracking app to track on themselves??
 
Let's not be a denial, people check their partner's hp because they lack of trust,
Nothing to do with curiosity.
That might not be as bad as you think either because over trust does breed contempt. Sometimes you need to keep me on their toes...but only sometimes please.
 
just glance to see what/who is he messaging thats all. if you have the urge to check his phone in a secretive manner, it's probably a bad omen...
 
David Geffen said:
If you want to track someone via cell phone, I think you should choose SpyToApp. It is a monitoring software is very effective, and is free to use again. I'm using this software, I feel very excited with what it brings. It's like solving a burden in my life.
Click to expand...
What does spytoapp do? Isit really easy to install? I would like to do that too.
 
It's easy to install. you need to follow 4 steps:

Step 1: Download and install SpyToApp on target phone.

Step 2: Call #1111* to Open SpyToApp app on target phone and login/register with your account.

Step 3: Login SpyToApp ( SpyToApp.Com ) with your account to track your target phone now and restart device phone.

Step 4: Tap Configuration -> Hide Application Icon. You will need do a reboot device.


see detail: http://www.spytoapp.com/how-to-install/


Hope help u!
 
honey89 said:
It's easy to install. you need to follow 4 steps:

Step 1: Download and install SpyToApp on target phone.

Step 2: Call #1111* to Open SpyToApp app on target phone and login/register with your account.

Step 3: Login SpyToApp ( SpyToApp.Com ) with your account to track your target phone now and restart device phone.

Step 4: Tap Configuration -> Hide Application Icon. You will need do a reboot device.


see detail: http://www.spytoapp.com/how-to-install/


Hope help u!
Click to expand...
Thanks for your input. So I need to register an account with them? Meaning this account is for me to log in in future to see the activity in the target phones? Can the activities And locations be stored for a period of time? meaning if I log in weekly, I can still see the activities and locations histories for the past week?
 

If you ever had a partner/spouse cheated on you before and you want to forgive them and start anew, I would think it's best not to resort to adding a spyware on their phone. This shows that you do not trust them nor trust yourself in your own judgement. It will only bring you further worries. You will constantly think and think and overthink every little thing. It takes time to learn to let go but once you let go you will feel much more light-weighted on your shoulders.
 
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