Changes to Woman Charter


I guess it is good for the enforcement.. so it will protect women even more..

But I think it make sense.. On the other hand they should also look at allowing men to claim alimony from women. And change the name "woman charter" to "family charter"
 
Yes family charter is good.

I think 95% of woman charter contend needs to be changed for it to be family orientated though.

Standard solution these days in many countries, either dun ROM or draft a letter of pre-marriage agreement (unfortunately not recognised in singapore).

I hope our society don't go backward like these countries. More doesn't necessary mean good. ppl typically just dun get married.

I have a problem with MCYS for making our marriage record public also. Think they are getting way too much in this. Today any tom dick or harry can probe your marriage record online for free with just your IC number.
 
It was a v stressful time during my divorce. I didn't find it necessary to declare my divorce and remarriage to everybody.

Since then I have remarried. There was a lot of kaypo ppl around me whom is interested in my marriage status just for lunch time talk.

Everyone whom needs to knows, know. I was really unhappy that some dick head threaten me out of the blue that he can just go online to "dig" my history.

MCYS have good agenda, but what they did was an overkill. And I was the victim. Getting all the unnecessary stress and negative feelings when I had already move forward. Gave me a F up reply when I complained to the minister. If I had known this, kill me I also would not ROM in sg. Would have done it abroad. My marriage record is me and my spouse family business.
 
stanzza,

You did not think the problem could be you?

What so stressful about people knowing our marital status.. or dig? What to dig if it is common knowledge.

No one ask you to declare your divorce.. or to announce your re-marriage..

We can't care what other people think .. and much less to allow them to give us stress.

In many countries, like the US for example - you can also search for marriage records online.

I believe some HK stars when they registered in LssVegas - had their records published.

But we are not celebrity. Who is so free to publish our marriage record?

And what victim are you talking about?
 
stanzza,

YOu said need IC number.. Do you also publish your IC number so that the any tom dick and harry can check your marriage records?
 
seriously the government should shorten the separation period from 4 years to 2 years.

after 2 years of separation, the lady can go file for divorce without the guy's concern. 4 years is very long and it's doing the lady no good.
 
SM

you have no secret or privacy ya? You don't mind ppl digging your painful past ya? Come on, this is my private matter and record. I know in many countries it is public also.

But divorce and remarrying is so common in those society and culture. We are still not there yet. I am not so "liberial". My asian values still say that if I dun manage to keep my family complete, I'm a failure for example.

And since I did not declare it in the past and tried to work through it for some time (the event took some time). I don't find it necessary to declare now. It's wierd too. That's y I'm contemplating moving to another coy to start afresh. Well done MCYS for ruining my career.

Plus I totally disagree that anyone have the right to access my profile, other than me and my spouse family which is the reply I was given. What crap right and business do they have?

There's no privacy protection in Sg AT ALL.
 
Ya shorten separation period will make it more convenient for people..

Actually, going to court also waste of time if it is uncontested and no claims made or no custodial issues to settle..

Both just sign should be good enough.
 
SM

very easy to get IC number la. For example, HR have it. Also we go biz trip. Collegues would have known IC/passport number from the email exchange. They already have it. Can't take back liao.

I'm not celebrity. But target for lunch talk ma. Run out of topic I guess.
 
stanzza,

What is there to protect about the marital status. It is not a secret but it is not something we write on our forehead. Why would people want to dig painful past? What painful past that we can't let go?

It is NOT a private matter.. because of the transparency. When we are getting married, we should be able to check if our potential mates are married. Bigamy is an offence.

You already said that in many countries marriage records can be searched by public.. so why single out SG as no privacy protection? If you don't like it.. then why are you here?

Don't blame MCYS. This is the first time I heard people blaming MCYS for ruining their career. OMG. Is you surname "Lai"?
 
stanzza,

HR should NEVER divulge your IC Number.

As for colleagues, I don't know. I don't tell anyone my IC number unless there is a business reason for doing so.
 
When you marry you are legalising your relationship. It means you are putting this relationship on record, which is the registry aka database. Why complain about lack of privacy? If you want absolute privacy, you should not register your marriage.
 
Its damn weird to assume that once you have filled forms, your colleague will take note of your particulars to spy on you.

This isn't normal unless you have weirdos for colleagues.
 
sm

Precisely we have many ppl like you thinking it's no big deal cause of your personal values and beliefs thus such crap can go through and be implemented. Your personal values, beliefs and opinion is not equal to every one else. Neither do we have to "mould" ourselves to think likewise.

One of the feedback I got from complaining to MCYS, is that they have received lots of serious complains with this implementation also. And I'm not the only guy.

Many people are hurting -> That is a REAL fact. And out of the blue I'm being wacked just because some ppl go out there to con others. Can't they implement something that restrict checking to more targeted audience? Rather than deploying a weapon of mass destruction and wack innocent ppl like me.
 
@milo

yes normally no one would do that. But now it is too convinent and is free. You can do it online in 1min so some ppl can just do it for fun.
 
The only thing I can agree is that they should charge a fee instead of 2 free search by citizens..

By the way, I want to complain as well as it is not accurate.

I just searched mine.. I am still married!!!!
 
I'm being living v well and in peace now. If some kaypo go out there to check my status and bring back the news.

I would have no choice but to do some explaining to them or even my coy on this topic. Else the talk would carry on and it would affect me (whether in job prospect, or just bring up my negative feeling).

If I explain, I lose. If I dun explain I also lose. I just wanna get on with my life. I also dun feel I owe these guys an explaination and I dun wish to do it.
 
stanzza, still. Would you take note of others NRIC whenever you come across them to do such check? The answer is no right?

What is there to explain? I really dun get you at all. Rather, it seems to reflect a mindset that is very bothered with how others are seeing you. That explains why you feel the need to explain to people that don't matter to u frankly.
 
stanzza,

Did you not told the truth when you apply for a job in your current company? ie you did not put in correct marital status in the first place? And that is why you are worried now?
 
No. I got nervous actually because one of my collegue threatened that he could check my status. I guess because I have never been very willing to talk abt my marriage. I remember then that he does have my nric number due to biz trip in the past. Ppl keep emails...
 
What is there to get nervous about? To me, its an empty threat. There is nothing so destructive or scary about finding out your martial status. And there is nothing to explain to anyone about.

Frankly, this is very very dumb loh. Is your colleague threatening you or telling you frankly that you don't need to be so up-tight about it. i.e. Anyone could find out quite easily if they wanted to.
 
I rom when I joined the company. Declare married. Postponed wedding. So there were plenty of talks of marriage prep as I was preparing for wedding then.

Minding how other ppl view me is 1 issue. I do mind that. The other issue is that I don't wish to bring up unhappy event in front of others. Esp painful one. I do not know how I would react really.
 
Anyway,

let's stick to the discussion on the woman charter change. I'm sure a lot of ppl have opinion on that. Maybe can reflect in REACH also as they are collecting feedback these 2 weeks. This topic I would take it to MCYS again =) thanks for all of your advices
 
Sorry, because you were giving the thumbs-up to arranged marriage in Tan's thread I thought you are Indian.

Anyway, I didn't know that men talk extensively about marriage preparation with colleagues. Thought only women do that.
 
@Doll

many aunties ask me ma. I have many indian friends so I see quite a bit of their family and arrange marriage in their culture.
 
Just tell the aunties you married 10times and divorce 10times already. dont take the aunties too seriously

U will be kill by tabloid the very next day.
 
The more you react secretive or affected, the more attention and interests you draw to it. This is human (especially auntie) behavior.
 
did u offend anyone at work stanzza?

otherwise I can't fathom how come u ended up as their target for abuse.

unless your colleagues are the freaking KPO type, that I've got nothing to say.
 
how can be "can't use"?

i'm referring to wifey's quality of character. not suggesting i can beat the system.
 
I have not yet read the women's charter, but I do not see anything wrong with MCYS making it easier for marriage records to be accessed. Afterall there is a limitation as to how much and how frequently one person can access.

I know of at least one acquaintance who was duped by her boyfriend, when he was actually married. He led a double life. I think this acts as a safeguard to innocent parties out there, and as a deterrent to would-be cheats.

Your colleague sounds mighty childish to resort to such threats. And being divorced once before isn't anything to be ashamed about. Anyway nobody knows the reason and you are not required to tell them the real reason.

I don't know what exactly it is to fear, but I don't see why you would really need to explain to your company in depth if the time comes for it. No lies, ok lah.
 
stanzza, you have insensitive colleagues.

anyway when you want to get married, they will also require a 21 day notice whereby it will be made public. anyone knows what is the reason?

well for me, the only thing that concerns me is the "stay in Singapore 15 days prior to filing for marriage". Just came back from overseas and saw this rule, now gotta count the days and wait till 15 days is up before we can efile. i think it's a good idea to scrap the rule if both couple Singaporeans...this rule doesn't serve any purpose.
 
Even though I am a woman, I think it may be high time that the Women's Charter be reviewed and revised on alimony to wife or ex-wife, to keep pace with societal progress. In the past, women have married men for financial security. Leaving the marriage means no more financial security. But these days most women do not marry for the same reason.
 
@SM

the system does not show divorce records. Thats y u see yourself as still married.

For my case, there are 2 marriage records. Thus I have problem.

I got this info from the MCYS officer whom responded to my concern.
 

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