BF Had Changed

C

cherielim

New Member
I am thinking if I should break with my EX of 6 months because I find that he had changed to another person since we get together.

Last time when we were dating, he used to send me home everyday but now he actually wanted me to take the taxi home by myself every time we meet. Many many more examples which I do not want to share here.

He just is not so sweet to me as before and I find that my love for him is slowly fading away.

Should I continue to be with him where I will suffer in silence or should I breakup with him?
 


Haha, shd b that TS has already regarded him as her EX..

Well, can't draw much conclusion from e post. Could b he's currently gg thru a rough patch or that this is who he really is or anything else.

Shouldn't u ask him abt the change of behaviour instead? Why suffer in silence leh?
 
I don't think you are suitable for a serious relationship. You just want to be pampered like a princess without considering what it means for him. Period.

Your bf is another chap that simply over commit to impress but cannot sustain his 'showmanship' for long.

Both of you need to be realistic about a relationship. Your relationship is valued by how much inconvenience he puts in regardless if its even necessary. Something you should first reflect about. And you call that 'suffer in silence'.
My god. GROW UP woman.

"He just is not so sweet to me as before and I find that my love for him is slowly fading away."
You talk like a teenager going through puppy love.
 
Well...there is only 1 'example' that you have quoted here...

If you want the forummers to advise you based on this only 'example'...I can tell you....we will have the impression that you are just one pampered girl who wants all the attention from your guy.
 
Cherie, actually I don't think your BF changed. I think this is his true self. It's just that after 6 months, his true self come out. In the first 6 months, it's usually the honeymoon period and people tend to "show their best". Now he showhand. If you cannot accept him as he is, then no point going on lah... or you'll constantly be upset over this kinda things.

And anyway, are you upset that "he changed" or upset that he doesn't send you home anymore??? You looking for a BF who sends you home everyday??
 
cherie,

tell us more.

Have you told him you feel he is not as sweet as before, and asked him why the change?

Why does your love fade when he is not as sweet as before?
 
"Should I continue to be with him where I will suffer in silence..."

You'd rather "suffer in silence" than to communicate?
"so sweet" means he can read your mind?

"Many many more examples which I do not want to share here."

You mean, you want pple to tell you what to do without knowing what happened?
 
why by not sending u home = suffer in silence?
i mean he isnt obligated to send u back right? more like u r alr used to him sending u home, thus it becomes a habit, n when he doesnt, u think u/him doesnt love each other anymore.
love isnt just abt doing sweet things for each other, n when both stop doing sweet things for each other = no love alr.. then break up...
uhhhh, sry but i hv to agree that u r just acting like a princess.
"love" is way more than all the sweet things he does.
 
how much confidence and belief does one has over the relationship? The constant need for each other to 'prove' the love actually reflects otherwise.
 
Not sending you home will lead you to suffer in silence???

Is it a must or a god-given right for a guy to send his gal home???

Just bcos he doesn't send you home you feel your 'love' for him is slowly fading away???

God...I think you need a taxi driver as your new bf then.
 
Why do you need other people's advice whether to break up with your BF? Can't you make any decision yourself? From the way you put it, you already do not want this relationship anymore so get on with your life! He already treat you like nothing and should not deserve anything from you anymore.

If he still cherish you like the first time you both went out, i don't see why he can't send you home after 6 months relationship.
 
I will dump any gal that shallow. The mentality that cherishing a relationship means sticking together like super glue is really beyond me. Get real. Before the relationship, don't you get home yourself? The purpose of bf is to be taxi driver isit? Situation could differ, there are other priorities in life. A person that cannot even understand that is simply spoilt so terribly. Her bf better learn that lesson and set the right expectation in future.

I thought the sch holiday is over already??
 
Come to think about it...my ex hardly sends me home...even at the beginning of the rship...

Only on certain occasions that I would get the 'luxury' of him sending me home.
 
no reply from her already.

I think she gets the message.

I'm curious to know tho, if she has given the 'ex' what most guys want ultimately when they are 'out to impress' like that.

ok i'm jaded. haha.
 
"The purpose of bf is to be taxi driver isit?"

Treating the bf as a taxi driver means WHEREVER she goes to he's made to drive her around in the car even though he has no business there. If out on a date together it is not such a tall order for the bf to give the gf a lift home lah.
 
"I'm curious to know tho, if she has given the 'ex' what most guys want ultimately when they are 'out to impress' like that."

Got lah. In another thread she said they had sex.
 
orh haha.

so... next point i'm wondering is, which holds more priority, for her to learn her lesson in not giving too early, or for her to wake up her idea and start changing her idea of what a bf and/or a relationship really means?

Not that I'm an expert on the latter, but I'm certain she's further away from what's ideal and practical than most of us.

ok ok stop judging. Everyone is learning.

Haha.
 
sm, LOL.

Frankly, if the main thing that upsets a woman in the relationship is about not sending her home, its really sad.

Does everyone that dates own a car? And has all the time in the world all the time to send her back everytime? What if he stays in the total opposite side of sgp? Cab fare for 2 ways could be crazily expensive?

Even when I was dating my wife, she prevents me from sending her home when she knows I'm not well or too tired or busy with work. We need to cut each other some slack. We don't know the details because TS doesn't mention any. But, its strange the only reason she mentioned for her unhappiness is this.
 
if a woman prides her independence she should not hold out any expectation that a man should send her back if it is truly inconvenient for him to do so. to hold expectatations that others should bend over backwards to please one is selfish and immature.

but of course, if he wants to regardless of fare or distance, the woman will appreciate him and love him all the more.

cherie, i think after you guys did it, he felt that you were not good and lost interest in you, sometimes life is just as straightforward and simple as that, it is our minds that make it complicated
 
May, i don't think its about priding independence at all. All are adults, we can surely take care of ourselves. When we pamper each other, its not because the partner is unable to take care of themselves. We can surely trust to take care of ourselves. But, that should not prevent a couple from offering care in little ways.

I think we all agree its the expectation here that is the concern.
 
Ha ha, seriously, I don't understand why a man would not send his gf home.. (if he has a car)..
without a car I can understand. Actually when I was dating (without a car), I did send my gf home as well.. but not from changi to jurong for sure.
 
sm, have not driven after not sleeping for 3 - 4 days? Would you want that person to drive you home? Its not the extreme to ask to look at the situation than stick on some expectation.
 
Some guys during initial period of courtship take the girl to heaven and then let them free fall. That's when the girl starts to complain how come the bf has changed and no more sweet to her hehe
 
May you are right.

Probably his expectations of her after going all out in the initial stages were not met.

She just has to face the hard truth.
 
milo,

I was just joking.. so I did not sound as if I was joking.

But not sleeping for 3 or 4 days an example is just extreme lah.

Actually not sleeping a night is more tiring than not sleeping for 3 or 4 days - your body probably conditioned after 2 or 3 days.. and you can probably drive OK compared to one who has not slept for the night..
 
ya that's what i thought as well... what's the deal with sending gf home after a date (if he owns a car)? unless he has plans after a date, or they stay at the extreme ends of s'pore or lack of sleep - then it's understandable, and the gf should not expect that the bf should drive her home every time.

if he doesn't own a car, then don't expect that the bf will send the gf right to the doorstep every time, esp. if it's out of the way.
 
sm, not true for me. 1st night without sleeping, I'm normally okie. Its the 2nd day. By the 3rd, the head becomes numb and slow to responses. On the 4th, I can fall asleep anyhow. Even standing up.
 
this TS is MIA... it's ok not to send gf home every day. TS, why don't u try sending ur bf home for once? maybe he doesn't do it anymore cos he thinks u take it for granted and he doesn't feel appreciated.

of course if u dun love him anymore, by all means break off early lah. but for rs to succeed, must try to give and take. don't expect to take and take and don't give back.
 
I was outstation on the weekend and there was NO internet connection in the hotel (WTF).. Have offically ended with my EX as he was not as caring as before.

He also agreeded on the breakup and we ended off as friends.
 
sad to say we all have to move on with our lives....

Break up is not the end of the world...

Continue to look for love...There is always miracle. Love is the magic word.
 
worst still he has a car
then started to calculate tat sending u hm wat petrol exp lah...wat strength to concentrate on lah..very tired..

at first tok...really hor...heartache for him...feel pitiful that he has to go travel from town to west to town..hope can help him save by going hm by bus
later...many times appear and this is when you know...its time..haa
 
What to say about guys ??

Sometimes they treat you like a little princess by being the most caring person in the world and sometimes they treat you like their one of their buddies.. Just to hang out and talk to with only.

But when they are gone, it cause a big void in my life. Wish he can come back into my life for now
 
cherie,

u dumped him and u want him back now?

go get a hobby... keep urself busy ok?

dun be so 犯贱 lah...
 
@Junkie

I feel sad and lost after dumping him.. What can I do now. Just feel like I am going crazy without him. I am thinking if I should call him and apologise to him and hopefully we can be back together. He is the BEST SO i have ever had.

Dun mind becoming 犯贱 for the sake of him
 
Hi Cherie, so you are now realizing its not really so true that he is changed and not so into you??

If the relationship is worth cherishing, why not. Personal pride should never come in between a worth while relationship. Call him and meet up to talk about it. I wish you luck.

But, be sure you know what you want this time? Your emotions will go up and down still. This is completely normal, emotions are like waves. Always the case.
 
@MiLo, Thats the reply I am wishing to hear to "boost" my confidence.

I will call him tonight
happy.gif
Just hope that it will not turn out to be another heartache
 
Junkie, its because emotions are like waves.... and humans are with emotions, MORE so for women
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If the break up helps clarify her mind and realize what she really wants, it might be a good thing. My wife dumped me previously too. I don't always see that as the end. Nothing is so absolute. Especially when the mind can be so clouded by emotions.
 
Actually, many of us did point out to her to think twice. But, it needed that break up to occur before she really start thinking. Ironic as it seems... Many lessons in life has to be learnt personally.
 
@Junkie : Ok, i regretted after firing him.. Just realise that the grass is not so green on the other side.

He is the BEST SO who cares and concern for me and I am willing to accept all his flaws and imperfection because HE IS THE MOST important thing to me now
 
Cherie, if your mind is this clear. GO for it! Don't wait anymore
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Once the opportunity window is gone, it might be lost forever.
 

Cherie,

not to be a wet blanket.

but he could have grown cold towards you because after you guys did IT, he felt that IT was no good. so he lost interest in you.

how do you win back a guy like that?

i dont know.
 
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