Annulment or divorce?

C

chino

New Member
Need advice.

We are married barely 3 months but my bride has decided to seek separation and has resisted all my attempts at dissuasion.

We developed a dispute during the ROM period involving a third party - hers.

She moved out soon after and soon proposed separation claiming she had been unhappy all these past 5 years. Which is untrue cos she proposed the marriage, which I happily accepted.

Anyway, I don't aim to dispute anything and it seems up to this point we will settle amicably.

She is a foreign national and we jointly own 2 properties overseas.

I am seeing a recommended lawyer but would really appreciate if fellow Singaporeans can share their experiences and advice.

First question is whether we qualify for annulment?

Second, since she proposed separation, should I still be the one filing the proceedings? Since I actually still love her and would want us to be together, though rationally thinking this is not good.
 


annulment is valid from the 1st year of your marriage, after which is consider divorce.

Have the both of you tried marital counseling?
 
We live in a foreign country, and she is a foreign national. I don't know about counselling over there.

Besides, I have tried many times to ask her to give our marriage a chance but she is adamant about separation. So in such a situation, I don't think she will entertain counselling. She is saying I won't give her a "happy" future. And "happiness" can have so many different interpretations.

I don't have any bad habits and we quarrel no more often than other couples. and I love her dearly. I think she has fallen out of love, quite simply.

During her one-week stay here for the ROM last year, there was a male friend of hers who constantly showed up and was physically a little too close to her for my comfort. It continued for the next few days ending in huge arguments as she insisted on meeting this guy despite my concerns.

She moved out immediately afterwards. Even after I apologised for over-reacting, she insisted on separation. She said that even without this incident, she was already unsure about marrying me.

Is annulment easily granted?

Since she's the one insisting on separation, should I be the one filing? Cos that would officially make me the one proposing the separation, wouldn't it?
 
From the way I look at it, reconciliation is quite difficult for your case. Please don't blame yourself for such an outcome. She seem to find reasons after reasons just to end the marriage. It takes 2 hands to clap and you can only do so much. I hope you have not applied for Permanent Residency for her.

Let her file for the separation since she is so insistent. The onus is on her to prove her case to qualify for an annulment.
 
Thank you dragon. Thank you also for your mail.

She isn't very interested in a PR here at all. She is highly-educated, and has a highly-paid job in a MNC in her own country.

I think the best option is for us to resolve as many of our financial issues first before the marriage is ended. And before the lawyers come fully into the picture. Because things would get ugly from there, I'm sure.

I still love her a lot and I hope neither of us drag each other through the mud more than necessary.

But few couples who divorce remain friendly, right?
 
Manic, where was the marriage registered? If outside of Singapore, you will need to find out more about the laws governing marriages and divorces/annulments.
 
I would say 'amicability' is the key word here. Resolve issues in an objective manner as far as possible so that things can move and it will also be easier for both of you.

Take some time to come to terms with your emotions though. See a counsellor if necessary. Once you are in a better state of mind, get down to the issues and start resolving them one by one.

No doubts few couples who divorce can still remain friendly. But when a marriage is ended amicably, at least both of you can still afford to smile when you chanced upon each other one of these days .
 
Hi manic,ur case sounds like mine,...
if the marriage was registered in sg, then u can only file for annulment if u 2 haben consume ur marriage, else u gotta wait 3 yrs before u can file for annulment. Do waste time filing for seperation, waste $$, ...according to lawyer
My advice is to move on, though i noe it's sad, but wat to do? life still gotta go on, the globe is still spinning... dun waste ur time on someone who doesn't appreciates u... and dun bother abt the remarks she made, when a woman dun love u anymore, she can come up with 101 "excuses/reasons/claims" to support her case, no pt fighting
 
i need help.....im a foreigner but had ROM to a singaporean....

i have decided to leave my marriage due to a change in my husband....

can i just annul it or wat do i have to do....???
 
I've the same experience. I'm Singaporean and I was married to a HK. Probably, less than 8 months later, I file for nullity in Singapore. Its not easy to null and not all lawyers are experience with that. You need to look for lawyers who are creative and help you with it.

Good luck.
 
Manic

You are right in not wanting to drag each other futher in the mud unnecessarily.

It frees the both of u from unnecessary strife. In fact, the more easily u both close the chap... the less baggage you both will carry to the next r/s or marriage.

Take care.
 
"I think your wife wants to squeeze some $$$ from you as she is entitled to nothing in annulment."

I think this is a very good point for anyone in this situation.
 
i doubt so. since no kids no adultery the alimony will be nominal and the sum of money will not be enough for her to buy her much items.

well her reason for not wanting annulment is. she Want to have t eh marriage work out. but i just cant take it. Now i want and she she don want. so i guess the offer has lapse.
 
Mark:

I'm quite confused on what is going on.

So initially your wife wants divorce and you refuses.

Subsequently, you agree to go for annulment, but now your wife has a change of heart and wants to work the marriage out.

Bro, you are stuck. If your wife is not agreeable for annulment, then you will have no choice but to wait for 3 years separation to file for divorce which takes longer and costs much more.

If you have decided not to salvage the marriage, then don't drag on for another 3 years. Have a good talk with her and file for annulment asap.
 
Avan, I believe most women have better sense than wanting to do that. Your views of women seem thwarted. Care to tell us why?

"I think your wife wants to squeeze some $$$ from you as she is entitled to nothing in annulment."
 
Not really thwarted.

I just don't understand why a woman who wanted to separate initially will now change her mind 360 degrees and refuse a simple annulment which will cut short her suffering.
 
Annulment implies marriage never happens.
Divorce equates to marriage broken apart.

To many it seems the same, but to the involved, they're vastly different.

Especially to foreign nationals, a divorce would still means PR at least, but annual.. nothing.

Ain't easy for two souls to be together lah.. I know it's not easy, but think of the good times together and try to work things out?
 
What if the wife no longer has any feelings for the hb ? Isn't it matter to move on and find somebody who is better ?
 
At first i want to annul the marriage. she refused becoz she love me.

After that we are separated but still meet up occasionally for makan. n go thru counselling.

now i want to reconcile but she refused and want divorce.
 
Mark:

Then no choice lah, have to go for divorce now. But if you want to salvage the marriage, you still have 3 years to do it.
 
If filing for annulment, does it have to be within 1 year of ROM. If ROM more than 1 year but haven't customary can annul ?
 
Application for annulment must be filed within a year from your ROM date. The law doesn't take into consideration customary wedding.
 
There's no time limit for annulment. I read about one chap here who file for annulment after 3 years !!

I heard many file for annulment under grounds of non-consummation, but of course it's fake lah. Anybody charge by the court for lying ? Haven't heard of such cases so far.
 
Annulment on non consummation is usually acceptable within one year of registration of the marriage, anything over one year may be considered if you can prove that yours is an extreme case such as your spouse has contracted veneral diseases or is mentally ill before the marriage.
 
General rule of the thumb - If you want to go for annulment, do it within one year of registration of the marriage. Don't take chances. And, of course, you will need the nod from your spouse too on annulment. The Court does not entertain contest.
 
My niece ROM June 08 and now wants an annulment. She went to sell lawyer. Lawyer advised spouse agree to non-consummation. Problem is spouse refused to agree on non-consummation. If in that case, on what grounds can my niece give besides non-connsumation. She wan to annul fast and get on with her life. It's been draining her out.
 
Grounds for annulling marriage include:
- Non-consummation owing to incapacity
- Non-consummation owing to wilful refusal
- Lack of consent
- Mental illness rendering the person unfit for marriage
- Respondent pregnant by another man
- Respondent suffering from Communicable Venereal Disease prior to marriage

You can get more info at http://www.law.com.sg/family.htm#What%20are%20the%20grounds%20for%20annulling%20a%20marriage

Why does your niece want to annul marriage when they are barely married for three months?
 
I want file for annulment.. Any good lawyers to recomend? My husband says that im the one who wants to annul so i should be the paying.. Is it true?
 
Kai82

for my case she intiate annulment , i intiate to pay half of it but she insist she settle all..i think it depend on other party ba...
 
I got myself into a terrible mess. I met this PRC woman who is 3 years older than I am that I had lots of feelings for.

We got married a few months ago so that she could come and stay in Singapore.

I only realized much later after our ROM that she was married and divorced before back in China. She even had a kid from the previous marriage. She basically ran out on the previous marriage and left her 6 months old kid with her inlaws because her ex-husband was not making money.

She is basically demanding for money from me to support her stay her in Singapore as well as to help her get her PR and maintain her social visit pass in Singapore. Occasionally she would demand that I send money over to China for her family there as well. This is financially very draining for me.

She is even to the extent of demanding that I help bring her daughter in China over to Singapore three years from now when this woman gets her PR status in Singapore. A point to note, this daughter was not even declared on the records when i filed the paperworks for ROM in Singapore as well as her short term and long term social visit pass to Singapore. I didnt even know this daugther exist then!

I am currently very disillusioned with this relationship.

Is there any possible way to file for annulment of this marriage without her consent as she is simply refusing to it. She is really adament in hanging on to this marriage till she gets her PR for Singapore and then get her daughter into Singapore as well.

I am also really concerned with the fact that if she really does get her PR, this hell will get even worst.

Also will she be eligible to claim for monthly maintenance fees from me after we settle the paperwork? I see it as ridiculous if I am still bounded to pay for her maintenance considering that fact that i was somewhat tricked into the whole thing with half truths. And now she is really acting like a parasite
 
leong, be a whole lot stronger and tougher, else how to get rid of this human leech?

stop worrying and go see a lawyer tmr...

do what u need to do.
 
Leong just report this to ICA. Polygamy is a crime and imho your marriage will be void.

just go consult a lawyer or go ica.
 
A point to note, this daughter was not even declared on the records when i filed the paperworks for ROM in Singapore as well as her short term and long term social visit pass to Singapore. I didnt even know this daugther exist then!

surely this must be illegal .. withholding information and submitting false application ..
 
Seriously I had no idea at all that she had a daughter before during the time we got married.

Am I suppose to get any paper proof of this daughter and her ex-husband when i file the case?

I think it will be hard as I dont think she will be very willing to co-operate to get herself implicated.

If instead I go about asking for the divorce or the annulment without documented proof of the existence of her daughter and husband, the case will not be as valid and I also strongly believe she will attempt to contest it (to get more financially as she had previously threatened she would) and the case will drag very long, and it is very likely till the extent that her long term visa expires. Her long term visa expires in march next year.

Also would she need to be around in person to appear in the court for hearing if she decides to contest in court. I dont think ICA will approve her visa application if I dont act as the sponsor on her behalf also I dont think she could afford a lawyer, if I dont give her financial support to do so. If she is unable to appear in court to contest the case with the court proceedings still be able to go on.

Then again, if I am to help extend her stay as well as to engage a lawyer on her behalf to contest in court, would it be very stupid of me?

But if I dont do so, wouldn't it be as though I am intentionally taking away from her a chance to present her case and get a fair hearing. Wouldn't it be as though, I resorted to some underhand methods to rid myself of this con-woman (however underhanded she may be). Then wouldnt it be as though, I am equally guilty in the eyes of the law?


Or should I instead, not make too big a fuss about the whole matter while she is still in Singapore, tolerate and give in to her demands just so as to wait till her long term visa expires in march next year, thereafter refrain from aiding her in renewing her visa in Singapore and have her sent back to China. Once she is back home in China go ahead with the paperwork to settle the marriage annulment.

I am really perplexed about which is the proper, ethical and legally possible path to take?
 
I would suggest to talk to her nicely and settle it amicably. She should know you have the upper hand as if this drags on, she will be sent back (after expiry of her visa) and will not be able to contest at all.

But I know it is not easy as she may be greedy and may want more.
 
And if she refuses to talk nicely.. then proceed with the filing.. it is not underhand as you are only doing to protect yourself..
 
Hi, what I was trying to say is that this does not seem to be a case of bigamy since she was divorced before marrying you. If you try to convince the authority that you did not know about her daughter, they may not buy your story. So, it may be easier for you to look at a divorce directly instead of trying to prove you have been duped.
 
My friend ie a viet married a sporean man last year and now she wanted to leave him. I checked with a lawyer and was told that divorce is out of the question. How about an annualment?? Is this feasible? Are there any other things to consider.
 
Annul is a good way. to end this and move on.

when the time dragged for too long annul can no longer be proceed. u got to gone through all the shit stuff in a divorce procedure.

obviously she had think over and changed her mind. meaning she've regreted marrying u. so just let her go.

A annulment is the proccess which VOID the Marriage between a lady and a guy.
when void, there's no record on you marrying her. you are nounced as SINGLE, NOT DIVORCED. in your status.

Annul no need reason like divorce. - separation for 3 years, 4 years. improper behavior, adultary etc... all shit stuff.
 


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