green_tranquility
New Member
Sm,
I see. That's something new to me hehe.
Iris,
Superglue! U watch too many movies is it?
I see. That's something new to me hehe.
Iris,
Superglue! U watch too many movies is it?
A matter of heart, a question of time
- Thread starter confused09
- Start date
green_tranquility
New Member
My youngest sis last time as a kid loved to lock herself in the room to watch her tv show or read her story book. We always had to knock & nag at her to open the door. When those failed, we sometimes bopian had to use key to unlock door.
confused09
New Member
Looking back on the thoughts and feelings I had when I first posted in this forum is a good reminder of how nasty and hurtful the quarrels were.
Jay, based on what I know, they broke up because she found someone new. Since then they haven't been in contact. In the end he threw away the items she gave him.
For now, I'm certain that I lack the capacity to give him unconditional love. Neither can I be the perfect girlfriend for him. Now I simply give my best, treat him the way I want to be treated and hope for some peace in our relationship.
powder, you asked the good question I've been wondering about.
"have been wondering what could be the reasons which may present a deep-seated need for u to stay in the 'relationship', and i'm pretty much blank other than a chance meeting where for some reason, everything made the match... but beyond that moment - logic came back and made u question Why."
It only gets very bad when we fight. We we fight, we're rotten. On any other day, like the way it's been for the past week, there are no reasons to leave him. This person is the person who runs errands for me even when he's sick. Buys me things even when he's broke. Gives me hugs when I'm down. It seems cruel to leave him when he's sacrificed for me. When we spoke last night and he told me he wants to have himself tested for autism, I felt really bad about myself. Dunno why.
I haven't thought over the husband for life, father of my child scenario with him but for now, when it's good, it's heartwarming. When it's bad, it's rotten. And the happiness scale fluctuates very wildly.
Sometimes, I think deep down inside of him, he doesn't love me. Other time, I believe he doesn't really know how to show it or talk about it.
Maybe it sounds contradictory but why should I leave him? He hasn't done anything wrong. And for the most part, I feel quite close to him and prefer him more as a brother or an extremely good friend. I feel a sense of fondness, likened to kinship more than romantic love these days.
Dunno.
Jay, based on what I know, they broke up because she found someone new. Since then they haven't been in contact. In the end he threw away the items she gave him.
For now, I'm certain that I lack the capacity to give him unconditional love. Neither can I be the perfect girlfriend for him. Now I simply give my best, treat him the way I want to be treated and hope for some peace in our relationship.
powder, you asked the good question I've been wondering about.
"have been wondering what could be the reasons which may present a deep-seated need for u to stay in the 'relationship', and i'm pretty much blank other than a chance meeting where for some reason, everything made the match... but beyond that moment - logic came back and made u question Why."
It only gets very bad when we fight. We we fight, we're rotten. On any other day, like the way it's been for the past week, there are no reasons to leave him. This person is the person who runs errands for me even when he's sick. Buys me things even when he's broke. Gives me hugs when I'm down. It seems cruel to leave him when he's sacrificed for me. When we spoke last night and he told me he wants to have himself tested for autism, I felt really bad about myself. Dunno why.
I haven't thought over the husband for life, father of my child scenario with him but for now, when it's good, it's heartwarming. When it's bad, it's rotten. And the happiness scale fluctuates very wildly.
Sometimes, I think deep down inside of him, he doesn't love me. Other time, I believe he doesn't really know how to show it or talk about it.
Maybe it sounds contradictory but why should I leave him? He hasn't done anything wrong. And for the most part, I feel quite close to him and prefer him more as a brother or an extremely good friend. I feel a sense of fondness, likened to kinship more than romantic love these days.
Dunno.
confused09
New Member
I think for the most part, if I slowly reclaim my own life, things may improve between us. There's lesser time to ponder over this relationship and our differences.
Deep down inside of me, I think of him as a sensible and reliable choice for a boyfriend and maybe future partner. Afterall he didn't abandon me during hard times. Did what he could to make my life better. Doesn't seem the sort to cheat. The only downsides are, there are no sparks between us, no endless conversations as the hours fly by, and no common belief and values when it comes to life. We're misaligned in that way, like a chicken and duck.
He's just, reliable. And I like reliable, boring and peace. The only forseeable conflict is my smoking. I don't understand why I need to quit smoking inorder for him to be with me. Maybe like what powder mentioned, he's not emotionally connected enough to look past this flaw of mine?
Deep down inside of me, I think of him as a sensible and reliable choice for a boyfriend and maybe future partner. Afterall he didn't abandon me during hard times. Did what he could to make my life better. Doesn't seem the sort to cheat. The only downsides are, there are no sparks between us, no endless conversations as the hours fly by, and no common belief and values when it comes to life. We're misaligned in that way, like a chicken and duck.
He's just, reliable. And I like reliable, boring and peace. The only forseeable conflict is my smoking. I don't understand why I need to quit smoking inorder for him to be with me. Maybe like what powder mentioned, he's not emotionally connected enough to look past this flaw of mine?
my first thoughts on what u wrote aren't too collected, i'm actually in the midst of trading/neogitating at work... friday being the longest day for me. been wondering abt your thoughts, so can't help but do a quick read... and now a quick reply...
not in the right frame of mind to comment now though... i wish u a good weekend first... catch u again!
not in the right frame of mind to comment now though... i wish u a good weekend first... catch u again!
confused09,
looking beyond your words and deeper into your mind, i find tat u're actually Trapped, more than anything else... and more so by yourself...
it's as if u're fallen into a hole in a big cave, and instead of seeking a way out first, curiosity and a sense of adventure got into u, and u decided instead to explore this cave first... the initial weeks were exciting, it was wonderous and perhaps u actually harboured thoughts of staying in this cave versus getting out and back to home... but u figured that home wasn't very happy either, so u discarded the exit and stayed in the cave where there seems more promise of something new...
over time, cave became home, and like the previous home, the excitement died down, the cave despite being home... was no different from the previous. difference i guess, is that the cave didn't choose u nor choose to keep u, instead u chose to stay in the cave... "there are no reasons to leave him."
as much as i believe that Love makes us run distances even in fatigue, i also believe that Fear does the same... perhaps when pple do alot of things for us - the media has conditioned our minds to see it as Acts of Love...
running errands in sickness, spending in poverty, hugging a person who's down, and many other acts - could simply be from the Fear of Losing someone...
we often hear pple say, "i dun wanna lose him"... when we hear that, there's a natural tendency to link it with Love & Affection, but if we search deeper, it can also stem from Fear of losing one's comfort and emotional support. In other words - Fear of the unknown, Fear of change...
look at 90% of the threads and u find Fear predominant. u find actions that are driven by Fear, even though some are masked as being driven by Love.
"i love my bfren so much, therefore i check his handphone, emails and restrict his freedom" - this is not Spoken, yet practised.
the more u fear to leave, the more u stay, the more u'll fear to leave, the more u'll magnify his acts and glorify them to be driven by Love, the more u'd feel compelled to stay, the more time he gets to 'sacrifice more', the more u'll have periods of depression to question the vicious cycle, the more u'll have time to convince yourself to stay, the more u'll ignore the unhappiness and psycho yourself into thinking u're Gonna be happy.
Love isn't by merit. i can climb mountains, swim oceans and jump from planes to convince ShuQi tat i love her and she should be with me... but it doesn't work tat way. Knights dun win the fair maiden's hand by fighting off dragons... women dun cook to attract men nor do they have to be extremely pretty to settle down.
Love is simpler... where u spend more time just being together, than questioning why u're together... it does not require a reason to stay, nor a reason to leave. it remains as undefined as its definitions...
perhaps u hooked up with a passerby-fren, not a destined partner... and perhaps u think it's destiny... Well...
looking beyond your words and deeper into your mind, i find tat u're actually Trapped, more than anything else... and more so by yourself...
it's as if u're fallen into a hole in a big cave, and instead of seeking a way out first, curiosity and a sense of adventure got into u, and u decided instead to explore this cave first... the initial weeks were exciting, it was wonderous and perhaps u actually harboured thoughts of staying in this cave versus getting out and back to home... but u figured that home wasn't very happy either, so u discarded the exit and stayed in the cave where there seems more promise of something new...
over time, cave became home, and like the previous home, the excitement died down, the cave despite being home... was no different from the previous. difference i guess, is that the cave didn't choose u nor choose to keep u, instead u chose to stay in the cave... "there are no reasons to leave him."
as much as i believe that Love makes us run distances even in fatigue, i also believe that Fear does the same... perhaps when pple do alot of things for us - the media has conditioned our minds to see it as Acts of Love...
running errands in sickness, spending in poverty, hugging a person who's down, and many other acts - could simply be from the Fear of Losing someone...
we often hear pple say, "i dun wanna lose him"... when we hear that, there's a natural tendency to link it with Love & Affection, but if we search deeper, it can also stem from Fear of losing one's comfort and emotional support. In other words - Fear of the unknown, Fear of change...
look at 90% of the threads and u find Fear predominant. u find actions that are driven by Fear, even though some are masked as being driven by Love.
"i love my bfren so much, therefore i check his handphone, emails and restrict his freedom" - this is not Spoken, yet practised.
the more u fear to leave, the more u stay, the more u'll fear to leave, the more u'll magnify his acts and glorify them to be driven by Love, the more u'd feel compelled to stay, the more time he gets to 'sacrifice more', the more u'll have periods of depression to question the vicious cycle, the more u'll have time to convince yourself to stay, the more u'll ignore the unhappiness and psycho yourself into thinking u're Gonna be happy.
Love isn't by merit. i can climb mountains, swim oceans and jump from planes to convince ShuQi tat i love her and she should be with me... but it doesn't work tat way. Knights dun win the fair maiden's hand by fighting off dragons... women dun cook to attract men nor do they have to be extremely pretty to settle down.
Love is simpler... where u spend more time just being together, than questioning why u're together... it does not require a reason to stay, nor a reason to leave. it remains as undefined as its definitions...
perhaps u hooked up with a passerby-fren, not a destined partner... and perhaps u think it's destiny... Well...
hi jay,
it's unfortunate, yet fortunate for us to have internet and forums as a platform to find answers... the pro we can agree, the con - is tat it gets harder to instill the right frame of mind to the person we speak to, given tat we might not be able to grasp fully their whole state of mind as well. And we also have to be in the right frame of mind to be totally neutral and focal on what's best (or at least wat we think is best). with tat in mind, we share/advise our thoughts...
this may be abit long, but let me share with u WHY i dun do a general feel-good advice for a problem, but can do several sets of advice for same problems from different pple...
are u familiar with "performance arts"? or Art where it hits u deep within, instead of simply impress u in a picturesque manner? When we look at art pieces or sculptures there's sometimes a sense of awe, and sometimes the pieces just forms part of a a whole experience, especially if we're in a gallery.
the forum sometimes feels like a gallery... many art pieces - ONE feeling. pple come when they have problems, they leave after getting ONE general feeling. most often just get A Feeling, take tat feeling for the day or week, and life goes on... any efforts to change is often little and negligible. so the problems stay...
What would make u connect with a singular art piece, derive the right set of emotions from it and wanna buy it?
i dun do general advice and hugs... over the years i have learnt that it simply gives shorterm feelings and longterm procrastination. i have intimate involvment with pple who waste their life on One lousy relationship struggle from 25 to 35, 35 to 45... most times - it is their inability to cut losses, it is regrettable but time is ticking n youth is lost. it is My experience, and it shapes the way i share. so either what i say have impact, or i dun say it at all.
if i was concerned with wat u think, wat milo thinks, wat sm thinks, then my posts would be self-serving. my focus is not on impressing, it's on impact to TS... if i can't make the person on the other side have the set of emotions necessary to effect longterm changes, then i will stop short. problems are not solved like our 10-year series... it's abit like painting a house, u dun just paint over. u need to scrap some areas, remove the old coat, fill the cracks, before u apply a primer then lay the 1st , 2nd and 3rd coat. some pple dun even match paints... they just take the nearest colour tone and paint over... and then they go home and think they've done a good job.
and yes, i'm condescending and judgemental at times... i dun do patronising. i'm human for sure, tat's why my most impt message is always tied with Time, Youth, Life... not hugs & kisses. i leave tat to pple's frens/families. i am just an internet stranger so i dun move into that space to create a dependency on me becos i cannot be there for the rest of the person's life.
it's unfortunate, yet fortunate for us to have internet and forums as a platform to find answers... the pro we can agree, the con - is tat it gets harder to instill the right frame of mind to the person we speak to, given tat we might not be able to grasp fully their whole state of mind as well. And we also have to be in the right frame of mind to be totally neutral and focal on what's best (or at least wat we think is best). with tat in mind, we share/advise our thoughts...
this may be abit long, but let me share with u WHY i dun do a general feel-good advice for a problem, but can do several sets of advice for same problems from different pple...
are u familiar with "performance arts"? or Art where it hits u deep within, instead of simply impress u in a picturesque manner? When we look at art pieces or sculptures there's sometimes a sense of awe, and sometimes the pieces just forms part of a a whole experience, especially if we're in a gallery.
the forum sometimes feels like a gallery... many art pieces - ONE feeling. pple come when they have problems, they leave after getting ONE general feeling. most often just get A Feeling, take tat feeling for the day or week, and life goes on... any efforts to change is often little and negligible. so the problems stay...
What would make u connect with a singular art piece, derive the right set of emotions from it and wanna buy it?
i dun do general advice and hugs... over the years i have learnt that it simply gives shorterm feelings and longterm procrastination. i have intimate involvment with pple who waste their life on One lousy relationship struggle from 25 to 35, 35 to 45... most times - it is their inability to cut losses, it is regrettable but time is ticking n youth is lost. it is My experience, and it shapes the way i share. so either what i say have impact, or i dun say it at all.
if i was concerned with wat u think, wat milo thinks, wat sm thinks, then my posts would be self-serving. my focus is not on impressing, it's on impact to TS... if i can't make the person on the other side have the set of emotions necessary to effect longterm changes, then i will stop short. problems are not solved like our 10-year series... it's abit like painting a house, u dun just paint over. u need to scrap some areas, remove the old coat, fill the cracks, before u apply a primer then lay the 1st , 2nd and 3rd coat. some pple dun even match paints... they just take the nearest colour tone and paint over... and then they go home and think they've done a good job.
and yes, i'm condescending and judgemental at times... i dun do patronising. i'm human for sure, tat's why my most impt message is always tied with Time, Youth, Life... not hugs & kisses. i leave tat to pple's frens/families. i am just an internet stranger so i dun move into that space to create a dependency on me becos i cannot be there for the rest of the person's life.
smses can go horribly wrong half the time, i can't quite place the exact reason even today... other than say it's more devoid of tones n emotions in words, yet read by pple with emotions. so i dun do sms discussions, i'm typically very coffee-chat person... i will drive down to fren's place to speak to them, than to do phonecalls and sms. dun like to have impt messages lost in translation...
hmm, not sure if u're asking for my opinion on why u get into arguments easily... i think i might be able to pinpoint it...
hmm, not sure if u're asking for my opinion on why u get into arguments easily... i think i might be able to pinpoint it...
ha ha.. SMS discussion is really an art in itself.. very different from phone or face to face discussion.
But it is a brand new avenue.. really.. some people that I can never get to discuss things in person or on the phone.. without people being angry.. somehow they can discuss through SMS.
But sometimes a simple discussion that can be settled in 5 minutes may take a whole night of SMS.
SMS is just like a serial communication channel.. that goes out of sync .. at times we are not replying to the latest messages..
I also learn to use SMS much more actively especially when communicating with very young people...
But it is a brand new avenue.. really.. some people that I can never get to discuss things in person or on the phone.. without people being angry.. somehow they can discuss through SMS.
But sometimes a simple discussion that can be settled in 5 minutes may take a whole night of SMS.
SMS is just like a serial communication channel.. that goes out of sync .. at times we are not replying to the latest messages..
I also learn to use SMS much more actively especially when communicating with very young people...
miloice
Well-Known Member
SMS is only good for SHORT MESSAGING.
Not for serious communication and discussion.
Its ok to SMS quick mushy sweet nothings, or quick updates of meeting arrangements etc but not to clarify some issues nor initiate breakup of anything serious as that.
It normal that people have differing opinion over things. So, disagreements should be something expected. Don't take disagreements personal. At times, its hard especially when one is sub-consciously relating personally with the topic. It helps to take a step backwards and reread what we write we see sense some negativity or unhappiness in the discussions. Not sure, if this makes sense to you. I do that all of the time. Like you, I tend to be more emotional. So, I make the point to reflect over my reactions.
The department that I fail badly is on the road. I rely heavily on my spontaneous reactions. I'm finding myself reacting to the behaviors of other road users.
Not for serious communication and discussion.
Its ok to SMS quick mushy sweet nothings, or quick updates of meeting arrangements etc but not to clarify some issues nor initiate breakup of anything serious as that.
It normal that people have differing opinion over things. So, disagreements should be something expected. Don't take disagreements personal. At times, its hard especially when one is sub-consciously relating personally with the topic. It helps to take a step backwards and reread what we write we see sense some negativity or unhappiness in the discussions. Not sure, if this makes sense to you. I do that all of the time. Like you, I tend to be more emotional. So, I make the point to reflect over my reactions.
The department that I fail badly is on the road. I rely heavily on my spontaneous reactions. I'm finding myself reacting to the behaviors of other road users.
Milo,
"SMS is only good for SHORT MESSAGING.
Not for serious communication and discussion.
Its ok to SMS quick mushy sweet nothings, or quick updates of meeting arrangements etc but not to clarify some issues nor initiate breakup of anything serious as that. "
Ha ha.. that is Short messaging by definition. But unfortunately that is your view on what it should be.. Young people can write and discuss things using SMS.. I have learnt as well. Sometimes it is effective only that it takes a longer time than a face to face talk or a phone call.
Like when some people are tongue-tied when speaking on the phone or in person - they can SMS and respond accordingly. Although it was meant only for short messaging, its usage is evolving. We cannot just say this is only good for short messaging.
There are issues that I can never get to resolve in person and yet through SMS some people can react more positively.. To me it is just a tool and we should use it as appropriate.
"SMS is only good for SHORT MESSAGING.
Not for serious communication and discussion.
Its ok to SMS quick mushy sweet nothings, or quick updates of meeting arrangements etc but not to clarify some issues nor initiate breakup of anything serious as that. "
Ha ha.. that is Short messaging by definition. But unfortunately that is your view on what it should be.. Young people can write and discuss things using SMS.. I have learnt as well. Sometimes it is effective only that it takes a longer time than a face to face talk or a phone call.
Like when some people are tongue-tied when speaking on the phone or in person - they can SMS and respond accordingly. Although it was meant only for short messaging, its usage is evolving. We cannot just say this is only good for short messaging.
There are issues that I can never get to resolve in person and yet through SMS some people can react more positively.. To me it is just a tool and we should use it as appropriate.
sms is highly dependent on both individual's frame of mind at that point... tat's wat complicates matters...
if my wife on leave n wants to have a nice chat with me at 4pm when london opens n my workload is doubled and i'm on like 2 lines and still gotta reply her - then it'll be an absolute disaster. she sends something romantic waiting for a reply... after 10mins i dun reply cos i too busy, she'll be abit impatient and wondering why i dun reply... then she'll think she's not impt anymore or i'm engrossed in work only... and when i reply under that circumstance - i might be really short. and THAT'S it... angry, disappointed, boring, feel unloved blah blah...
i dun like smsing for all these...
i've encountered the 'missing sms phenonmenon' as well, gfrens angry with me for not replying sms... then waiting a Whole Day for my reply. fact is... i didn't get them. sometimes i wonder why they dun call after like 30mins of not getting a reply, but instead choose to wait 1 whole fcuking day and then get angry... i stopped dating such girls. i dun think i should be responsible for pple who choose an unreliable channel for making appointments tat are time-sensitive. in fact i can send out an sms to myself now and receive it 10-15mins later... it happened to me 3 times last week when i sent myself impt Info i wanted to keep in my inbox.
nothing is worse than being at a place to meet, and then sending SMSes to each other on "where are u waiting?". and then u send a few sms to find each other... 1 fcuking call - 5 seconds n settled.
anyway tat's my take... better for a coffee session in a certain ambience/setting where BOTH are in the right frame.
if my wife on leave n wants to have a nice chat with me at 4pm when london opens n my workload is doubled and i'm on like 2 lines and still gotta reply her - then it'll be an absolute disaster. she sends something romantic waiting for a reply... after 10mins i dun reply cos i too busy, she'll be abit impatient and wondering why i dun reply... then she'll think she's not impt anymore or i'm engrossed in work only... and when i reply under that circumstance - i might be really short. and THAT'S it... angry, disappointed, boring, feel unloved blah blah...
i dun like smsing for all these...
i've encountered the 'missing sms phenonmenon' as well, gfrens angry with me for not replying sms... then waiting a Whole Day for my reply. fact is... i didn't get them. sometimes i wonder why they dun call after like 30mins of not getting a reply, but instead choose to wait 1 whole fcuking day and then get angry... i stopped dating such girls. i dun think i should be responsible for pple who choose an unreliable channel for making appointments tat are time-sensitive. in fact i can send out an sms to myself now and receive it 10-15mins later... it happened to me 3 times last week when i sent myself impt Info i wanted to keep in my inbox.
nothing is worse than being at a place to meet, and then sending SMSes to each other on "where are u waiting?". and then u send a few sms to find each other... 1 fcuking call - 5 seconds n settled.
anyway tat's my take... better for a coffee session in a certain ambience/setting where BOTH are in the right frame.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
I think SMS definitely has its usefulness in modern day communication but not good for those who read too much into the content. How come an "OK" cannot simply be just an "OK", like "I got it"? You will be late home tonight is a fact and therefore, you get a factual reply. Do you mean you'd prefer an emotional response?
miloice
Well-Known Member
sm, yah. Personal experience with SMS can be a big nightmare. With my ex, I had to spend alot more time clarifying the misunderstanding created from SMS. With my mum, I'm half the time clueless on what she is trying to SMS.
We have read stories of fights caused from misunderstandings in SMS. Its really a difficult tool for more complex communication. I'm not saying, it aren't possible though.
I stand by the believe that SMS are intended to be short for the general masses. There could be specific groups of users that managed highly effective and optimized protocol of sms. Just as how lingos are formed online. Try conducting a process review with management via MSN or something of that sort. It just doesn't work.
We have all read some threads where the user used so much lingos that its completely clueless for basically everyone. If someone is to tell me they had a fight over miscommunication and confusion over SMS, well, we are not surprise at all, yah?
Lastly, don't get me wrong. Most of us use SMS to a great extend. Clocking 500 SMS monthly is pretty expected. But, no, we don't write lots of lengthy SMSes all the time. Most are really short to be effective.
We have read stories of fights caused from misunderstandings in SMS. Its really a difficult tool for more complex communication. I'm not saying, it aren't possible though.
I stand by the believe that SMS are intended to be short for the general masses. There could be specific groups of users that managed highly effective and optimized protocol of sms. Just as how lingos are formed online. Try conducting a process review with management via MSN or something of that sort. It just doesn't work.
We have all read some threads where the user used so much lingos that its completely clueless for basically everyone. If someone is to tell me they had a fight over miscommunication and confusion over SMS, well, we are not surprise at all, yah?
Lastly, don't get me wrong. Most of us use SMS to a great extend. Clocking 500 SMS monthly is pretty expected. But, no, we don't write lots of lengthy SMSes all the time. Most are really short to be effective.
miloice
Well-Known Member
Powder, u brought up a very valid point. SMS culture creates the expectation for instant response. People have this misconception that its damn responsive, reliable and responsive.
But frankly, the SMSC isn't really that responsive nor consistent. Every operator could configure the retry period very differently. And when one is travelling, the lag is magnified.
But frankly, the SMSC isn't really that responsive nor consistent. Every operator could configure the retry period very differently. And when one is travelling, the lag is magnified.
miloice
Well-Known Member
Another related problem from SMS. I send my replies in between traffic stops. Often, due to mobile lag or poor response, the handset did not response to the send request. Something that happens to me alot. I would SMS my wife that I'm caught in a jam. And I would only realize it when I had time to read the next SMS received -> which is normally at arrival.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
My bf's corporate SMS system has been most unreliable of late. There were times when he text me in the morning but the message only got delivered to me at night. Very funny. There was once I wasn't aware that it was a late delivery and actually replied.
this is frequent occurance for me if u take it that it should not be happening at all... maybe like 1% of my smses? to me it's alot, cos the sms if work related would be impt... but good thing is we all have presence of mind to follow-up with a phonecall if we dun get a reply.
confused09
New Member
dear Powder,
i'll take your word for it.
i'm calling it a day.
it'd never have worked out between us. i have done what i could to the best of what i knew but things simply won't be. not now, not 40 years down the road.
thanks to all for the advice. it's a relief.
i'll take your word for it.
i'm calling it a day.
it'd never have worked out between us. i have done what i could to the best of what i knew but things simply won't be. not now, not 40 years down the road.
thanks to all for the advice. it's a relief.
confused09,
without doubt, such decisions are never easy to take... it's much easier to discuss abt taking them, than to actually put it into action. u now know u have that Strength... and Power to alter the course of your life and seek Change for yourself.
all of us have our stories and chapters to write... i hope u'll be writing yours with renewed Hope & Belief, not knowing wat new stories to fill each day but knowing that whatever u write, it will be becos u Wanted it that way and u chose to be happy as much as u can in as many chapters as u can...
do take a break and let nature follows it's due course for now, and pls dun shy from the world... we're all walking with cuts and bruises on our knees tat are now scars... the idea is to just keep walking and ignore the pain... u will not notice your scars once u're on those clouds of your dreams...
without doubt, such decisions are never easy to take... it's much easier to discuss abt taking them, than to actually put it into action. u now know u have that Strength... and Power to alter the course of your life and seek Change for yourself.
all of us have our stories and chapters to write... i hope u'll be writing yours with renewed Hope & Belief, not knowing wat new stories to fill each day but knowing that whatever u write, it will be becos u Wanted it that way and u chose to be happy as much as u can in as many chapters as u can...
do take a break and let nature follows it's due course for now, and pls dun shy from the world... we're all walking with cuts and bruises on our knees tat are now scars... the idea is to just keep walking and ignore the pain... u will not notice your scars once u're on those clouds of your dreams...
tomasulu
Member
you should end it all because you are convinced it is the right thing for you. don't take powder's words for it, wise as they may be. without conviction, you may not have what it takes to end the relationship.
i like sm's bottom line on relationships, if you are so unhappy, it is obviously not working out. no amount of rationalization will make you feel better. my own bottom line is this, be with someone only if you two are made stronger and better than the sum of your individuality. why bother if it is not the case? it is time to walk away when two people continue to tear each other apart, notwithstanding the occasional happy times.
i like sm's bottom line on relationships, if you are so unhappy, it is obviously not working out. no amount of rationalization will make you feel better. my own bottom line is this, be with someone only if you two are made stronger and better than the sum of your individuality. why bother if it is not the case? it is time to walk away when two people continue to tear each other apart, notwithstanding the occasional happy times.