(2009) Brides of year 2009
- Thread starter pringirl
- Start date
xka,
That's very very cheap~ 250 bucks. Whoa!
You said your friend went thru an abusive r/s before right? Then ask her to calm down and think back her current r/s. Are all the signs there? Some guys show it before marriage but some only started showing it after. No matter what, there will be small details here and there that sends off warning signs.
Questions she should ask herself:
1. Is he petty?
2. Is he over emotional - angry/possed over small stuffs, easily jealous, cries easily etc
3. Is he over protective? This is quite tricky coz we women tend to think that the men are being protective in a good way so your friend really must try to decide what level of protectiveness is healthy.
4. Does he fuss over small things and quarrels?
5. Is he more drama than her?
That's very very cheap~ 250 bucks. Whoa!
You said your friend went thru an abusive r/s before right? Then ask her to calm down and think back her current r/s. Are all the signs there? Some guys show it before marriage but some only started showing it after. No matter what, there will be small details here and there that sends off warning signs.
Questions she should ask herself:
1. Is he petty?
2. Is he over emotional - angry/possed over small stuffs, easily jealous, cries easily etc
3. Is he over protective? This is quite tricky coz we women tend to think that the men are being protective in a good way so your friend really must try to decide what level of protectiveness is healthy.
4. Does he fuss over small things and quarrels?
5. Is he more drama than her?
xka,
So he used to make the gesture to slap her but has not really touched her until now?
And he insisted this time only light touch?
And he got angry over her not sleeping coz chasing drama series?
These are all warning signs, at least to me. These are the small things like the small things I encountered before things escalate into worse and worse abuses...
You really must ask your friend to think it over carefully. How long have they known each other? How long have they been dating? Does she know him well enough to know what are his tempers, reactions to issues etc?
So he used to make the gesture to slap her but has not really touched her until now?
And he insisted this time only light touch?
And he got angry over her not sleeping coz chasing drama series?
These are all warning signs, at least to me. These are the small things like the small things I encountered before things escalate into worse and worse abuses...
You really must ask your friend to think it over carefully. How long have they known each other? How long have they been dating? Does she know him well enough to know what are his tempers, reactions to issues etc?
I tink, if there's a first time, there'll be 2nd n 3rd n so on...it's a character.Man with violence nature will really lose it when pushed to limits.My ex was like dat too. I tink no woman shld be subjected to this kinda treatment.
XKA, ur fren is gg to marry this man. She shld noe wat kinda person he is.she'll be able to judge best whether she wanna live with this man for e rest of her life. It'll be very sensitive for outsiders,like urself to provide any advice at this point of time. She has to tink for herself. As her friend,you just need to stay by her side n lend her a shoulder n listening ear. n tel her u'll support watever decision she makes. I mean if i'm her, i'll be feeling this way lar.
XKA, ur fren is gg to marry this man. She shld noe wat kinda person he is.she'll be able to judge best whether she wanna live with this man for e rest of her life. It'll be very sensitive for outsiders,like urself to provide any advice at this point of time. She has to tink for herself. As her friend,you just need to stay by her side n lend her a shoulder n listening ear. n tel her u'll support watever decision she makes. I mean if i'm her, i'll be feeling this way lar.
saggiegirl
New Member
sobe> hahhha...me too ...my bday happens to be my wedding day >_<||| my hubby secretly smile lor...he saved one bday present mah...
kath,
Sometimes it takes an outsider to really help leh. For my case, fear led me to stay and tolerate all the nonsense for 4 years. Until he hits me for 2 full hours on my birthday eve over a small matter and I finally couldn't take it and told everything to my best friends.
But still I was too fearful to leave. They made the decision and packed my bags for me. Forced me to move house, change job and hp no. It was only that way that he stopped pestering me.
I am forever grateful to them. So, I don't really agree that friends as outsider shouldn't help. =)
Sometimes it takes an outsider to really help leh. For my case, fear led me to stay and tolerate all the nonsense for 4 years. Until he hits me for 2 full hours on my birthday eve over a small matter and I finally couldn't take it and told everything to my best friends.
But still I was too fearful to leave. They made the decision and packed my bags for me. Forced me to move house, change job and hp no. It was only that way that he stopped pestering me.
I am forever grateful to them. So, I don't really agree that friends as outsider shouldn't help. =)
elyse,
ya...last time he used to gesture that he wan to hit her, bt he didnt do it..until now..
he didnt reali insisted tat it was a light touch...to mi, it sounds more like he insisted he was not slapping her, bt juz a light touch to bring her to her senses as they were bth shouting awae in the middle of e nite...
n frm wat i koe, he was nt angry coz she's chasing drama...tink they were supposed to do OT la...then he wait till zzz coz she watching show ma...then when he woke up, still see her watching, then pik chek lor, and e whole arguement start...
kath,
i koe wat u mean..bt feel sry for her lor..
i koe last time when they first started, her bf was abit drowsy and was rather rough to her in front of all of us lor..tat was when she laid down her ts & cs clearly to him...She told him nea eva to lay a finger on her or be rough lor..coz she can neva tolerate tat..then as time pass on, e gestures came, and she forgave him for it...n now tis...haizz..duno if she shld stil giv him a 2nd chance or not..
ya...last time he used to gesture that he wan to hit her, bt he didnt do it..until now..
he didnt reali insisted tat it was a light touch...to mi, it sounds more like he insisted he was not slapping her, bt juz a light touch to bring her to her senses as they were bth shouting awae in the middle of e nite...
n frm wat i koe, he was nt angry coz she's chasing drama...tink they were supposed to do OT la...then he wait till zzz coz she watching show ma...then when he woke up, still see her watching, then pik chek lor, and e whole arguement start...
kath,
i koe wat u mean..bt feel sry for her lor..
i koe last time when they first started, her bf was abit drowsy and was rather rough to her in front of all of us lor..tat was when she laid down her ts & cs clearly to him...She told him nea eva to lay a finger on her or be rough lor..coz she can neva tolerate tat..then as time pass on, e gestures came, and she forgave him for it...n now tis...haizz..duno if she shld stil giv him a 2nd chance or not..
xka,
Is it because you tend to get drunk when you go clubbing with friends? If so, it's reasonable that he gets angry la.
An example of the bad/scary kind:
You already informed him a week ago that you are going out for dinner with 2 FEMALE colls. Then on the actual day, you reminded him too. After work, because you were rushing to keep the appointment and forgot to call/sms him (but only for half an hour late in calling/sms-ing), he calls and started getting upset saying you don't care if he's eaten or not. Then he calls continuously and kept dwelling on the issue. It escalates into him waiting for you at the train station when you got home and dragging you by your hair in public.
Is it because you tend to get drunk when you go clubbing with friends? If so, it's reasonable that he gets angry la.
An example of the bad/scary kind:
You already informed him a week ago that you are going out for dinner with 2 FEMALE colls. Then on the actual day, you reminded him too. After work, because you were rushing to keep the appointment and forgot to call/sms him (but only for half an hour late in calling/sms-ing), he calls and started getting upset saying you don't care if he's eaten or not. Then he calls continuously and kept dwelling on the issue. It escalates into him waiting for you at the train station when you got home and dragging you by your hair in public.
hi yip, I'm also printing my cards over the next two weeks. Have asked around, but realised that the printers who have tied-ups with the hotel are still cheaper. [Focal ad is expensive]
So am going with either Yitai or Jasvy. Collecting my cards from Rasa next weekend!
They got new card designs!! Hoping to God they look nice.
So am going with either Yitai or Jasvy. Collecting my cards from Rasa next weekend!
elyse,
nope..im not e sort who gets drunk...in fact, i neva get drunk..haha...im alwaes e one sending others home...keke...
wah..tat is real horrid lor...mine onli abit xiao nan ren at times, and check mi hp n tings like tat..haha...bt he has a horrid temper oso...alwaes tinks he's rite...n he like to use tat lame excuse...im angry n cant ctrl miself..haizz..
nope..im not e sort who gets drunk...in fact, i neva get drunk..haha...im alwaes e one sending others home...keke...
wah..tat is real horrid lor...mine onli abit xiao nan ren at times, and check mi hp n tings like tat..haha...bt he has a horrid temper oso...alwaes tinks he's rite...n he like to use tat lame excuse...im angry n cant ctrl miself..haizz..
xka,
There are better ways to stop a fight than 'touching' her (or whatever he calls it). Just ask your friend to be more observant from now on. Look at the small things and see the warning signs (if there are any more of those). Also ask her to ask herself, does she love him enough to take the risk (of what will happen after getting married)?
There are better ways to stop a fight than 'touching' her (or whatever he calls it). Just ask your friend to be more observant from now on. Look at the small things and see the warning signs (if there are any more of those). Also ask her to ask herself, does she love him enough to take the risk (of what will happen after getting married)?
Im not saying she shldnt help. I tink friends shld stay by each other n give all the support we can. Her friend will need dat,esp now. I'm just saying, XKA shldn't tell her friend to leave or stay with the man. Or anything like dat to sway her friend's decision. As friends, we can go thru tears n laughters n pain.But it's her friend's lifelong happiness we r toking abt now. I tink we shld let her friend clear her own thoughts herself. XKA, just need to stay by her side and provide support.
Not sure how to put it in simple terms...anyone understood wat i mean?
Not sure how to put it in simple terms...anyone understood wat i mean?
lalaa,
Not when he scares the shit out of you! And did so many scary things when you tried to leave!!!
xka,
Actually checking hp is not good (although I do that to my HTB but I did it openly and he allows la).
Wah, your HTB sounds quite MCP leh. Are you sure you want to put up with his temper for the rest of your life? Hehe... *joking*
Not when he scares the shit out of you! And did so many scary things when you tried to leave!!!
xka,
Actually checking hp is not good (although I do that to my HTB but I did it openly and he allows la).
Wah, your HTB sounds quite MCP leh. Are you sure you want to put up with his temper for the rest of your life? Hehe... *joking*
lalaa,
ur tat bad temper bf is not e worse lor...u havent seen worst...
i used to hav one similar to elyse's one...dun allow makeup, no nice dresses...then muz pick up his calls within 5 rings...if gt missed call, u die liao...can call ur SUPERIORS at ur off when he cant find u...Even when u r in meeting oso he will call u every 5 mins..
Juz imagine e mental stress..N expect u to OT when u dun feel like it..Machiam kena rape everytime..n Lays hands on you when u retaliate...There was once i went to work wif bruise on my face n i lied tat i fell from bed...
I totally understand wat mi frend n elyse has been thru...so i fing it veri veri hard to convince miself to tell her to giv mi a 2nd chance...coz i dun wan e same ting happening to her...
if she calls off the wedding now, still not tat bad...cant wait till last min then call off rite...she whe gt face to c peepz??
ur tat bad temper bf is not e worse lor...u havent seen worst...
i used to hav one similar to elyse's one...dun allow makeup, no nice dresses...then muz pick up his calls within 5 rings...if gt missed call, u die liao...can call ur SUPERIORS at ur off when he cant find u...Even when u r in meeting oso he will call u every 5 mins..
Juz imagine e mental stress..N expect u to OT when u dun feel like it..Machiam kena rape everytime..n Lays hands on you when u retaliate...There was once i went to work wif bruise on my face n i lied tat i fell from bed...
I totally understand wat mi frend n elyse has been thru...so i fing it veri veri hard to convince miself to tell her to giv mi a 2nd chance...coz i dun wan e same ting happening to her...
if she calls off the wedding now, still not tat bad...cant wait till last min then call off rite...she whe gt face to c peepz??
hhhmmm...i dun check eva's hp and she dun check mine...trust is very important in a r/s leh...n like many things in r/s...trust must be 2 way de...
i think once it gets to physical abuse and stuff like stalking is very bad le...
i went thru mental abuse by my ex b4 so i can understand...
Kath I know wat u mean...just be there to provide support but not give advice...
i think once it gets to physical abuse and stuff like stalking is very bad le...
i went thru mental abuse by my ex b4 so i can understand...
Kath I know wat u mean...just be there to provide support but not give advice...
kath,
dun wry..we all koe wat u mean..we are SMART women..haha
elyse,
yaya..he's veri mcp...i oso duno how i can stand him..coz i hate mcps..haha
i hav tis guy frend who's going aft mi lor..n he actuali diverted mi hp(wifout my knowledge) such tat any unpicked calls will go to his phone..
happened like a mth ago lor...bt i still forgave him la...if in future like tat again, i oso duno wat i will do leh...
dun wry..we all koe wat u mean..we are SMART women..haha
elyse,
yaya..he's veri mcp...i oso duno how i can stand him..coz i hate mcps..haha
i hav tis guy frend who's going aft mi lor..n he actuali diverted mi hp(wifout my knowledge) such tat any unpicked calls will go to his phone..
happened like a mth ago lor...bt i still forgave him la...if in future like tat again, i oso duno wat i will do leh...
mine was mental...keep saying wanna jump off the building from outside my flat if i break...keep running away from home and expect i go around the island to find...
cannot have female sitting beside mi on a bus...cannot go lunch with friends...cannot go out with friends at all...cannot go CCA...
finally i just no response and no reaction to everything until she broke with me....
phew! my friends nearly threw a party when she broke with mi lor...can just imagine?
cannot have female sitting beside mi on a bus...cannot go lunch with friends...cannot go out with friends at all...cannot go CCA...
finally i just no response and no reaction to everything until she broke with me....
phew! my friends nearly threw a party when she broke with mi lor...can just imagine?
was in poly then...abt 2005...4 years ago...both of us in 20s liao lor...not teenagers anymore...
aiyo...service...sounds very bad leh...i prefer to think of it as something both parties enjoy...
i think make love sounds better than service...i tot service should be for paid jobs...
aiyo...service...sounds very bad leh...i prefer to think of it as something both parties enjoy...
i think make love sounds better than service...i tot service should be for paid jobs...
Make love sounds ''old fashion' mah.'Service' is better than OT rite?and service can be free too 
and dun we all love 'free services'??
I juz found out dat my hotel wedding coordinator resigned. Damn! Dats the prob with booking early...well hope a proper handover is done...
and dun we all love 'free services'?? I juz found out dat my hotel wedding coordinator resigned. Damn! Dats the prob with booking early...well hope a proper handover is done...