Live or die?

[Arthur5819]

I have been in the vicious cycle of debts from moneylenders for the past 10 years. Even after I got married, It happened again and the latest one is recently. My wife has already helped me a few times and I m not sure how to tell her again this time.

She has been managing my funds since then and giving me allowance every month ($1500) for my expenses. When this amount runs out, I wento borrow from licensed moneylender since I can't get a loan from the banks.

Gradually, the amount snowballs to 20k plus and I can't afford to make any payment. I even try to bet on soccer to win some money back but to no avail.

After seeking help and seeing a consuellor, I suspect I am having an underlying depression which at times I am easily stressed and depressed for nothing and has no mood for anything else.

I m worried my wife will leave me this round although the amount owed is 20k plus. I feel very ashamed of myself and have a few times wanted to end my life. However, looking at my aged mother, I have let these negative thoughts turned into reality.

I m not sure if I still have hope in this world and seriously I am in a dilemma now.
I also could lose my job if I dun solve the debts issue.

I wanted to tell my wife but can't find any courage to do so. The thoughts of sucidical den came back to haunt me and try to make me think towards having a quick solution OG ending my life.

I m lost.... Hope to hear some comments here on what I should do or how I can handle the situation better. Tks.

 

[Chocogal]

Gamblers always victimized themselves saying they are lost n have depression only when the debts snowballs.. when you borrow money n place your bets you don't have depression n were not lost??? No one forced you to do so..do you think the mess you created will gets solved after you die? NO! U created the mess you jolly well settles it. Don't leave the mess to you wife or your aged mum.. be a man, settles it YOURSELF. Then do whatever you want with your life. LIVE! to pay back your debt n be a good husband to your wife and a son to your mum

 

[GreatScotch]

I have been in the vicious cycle of debts from moneylenders for the past 10 years. Even after I got married, It happened again and the latest one is recently. My wife has already helped me a few times and I m not sure how to tell her again this time.

She has been managing my funds since then and giving me allowance every month ($1500) for my expenses. When this amount runs out, I wento borrow from licensed moneylender since I can't get a loan from the banks.

Gradually, the amount snowballs to 20k plus and I can't afford to make any payment. I even try to bet on soccer to win some money back but to no avail.

After seeking help and seeing a consuellor, I suspect I am having an underlying depression which at times I am easily stressed and depressed for nothing and has no mood for anything else.

I m worried my wife will leave me this round although the amount owed is 20k plus. I feel very ashamed of myself and have a few times wanted to end my life. However, looking at my aged mother, I have let these negative thoughts turned into reality.

I m not sure if I still have hope in this world and seriously I am in a dilemma now.
I also could lose my job if I dun solve the debts issue.

I wanted to tell my wife but can't find any courage to do so. The thoughts of sucidical den came back to haunt me and try to make me think towards having a quick solution OG ending my life.

I m lost.... Hope to hear some comments here on what I should do or how I can handle the situation better. Tks.

You are the aggressor and not the victim. You have ruined the lives of many but return to your old spot of feeling sorry for yourself. You deserve to lose your job and you don't deserve to be helped because a woman will always pick up your mess for you. What a loser you are.