for the sake of my son and my parents

Rhea fenrir

New Member
Dear all,

I am sure you all have ever heard of couple staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their child/children.

That is what is happening to me now. My marriage can actually be certified dead already, but we stay together for the sake of our 3-year-old son.

after so many heartbreak and disappointment, I have lost all feeling to my husband. I also believe that my husband stays with me and pretends that everything is OK in our marriage just to make sure that our son has a complete family.

I have already asked for divorce numerous times since last year, especially after I found out about his infatuation with his colleague. I always assured him that we will have a very amicable divorce with zero drama. I will not ask for alimony, in fact he can keep all our marital assets, I will not ask for a cent of it. I will keep quiet about his betrayal and we will have joint custody of our son and I promise I will never make anything difficult for him to be with our son, as our son means everything to him. all in exchange for my freedom from this unhappy and torturous relationship.

Yet he won't give me my freedom. He said that he will never sign the divorce paper, and will make things difficult for me. He keeps telling me that our son will grow up to be a damaged person if we got divorced and it will all be my fault. he also always "threaten" me emotionally about our parents, especially my parents, saying how our divorce could possibly make them so heartbroken and make them pass away earlier than they should. it is like I will be killing my own parents.

because of these emotional blackmail, I relented and decided to just wait until the day my folks will peacefully pass away and our son grows up to be an independent man, then maybe I can finally have my life back. I know this could just be a wishful thinking, but hope like this is what makes me keep on living.

perhaps you all have ever heard this sentence " the opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy". that is what is happening to me now. last time I could get upset and emotional whenever he humiliated me by getting too "friendly" with other woman in front of me, keep on comparing me with other women and praising other women while belittling me. never allow me to pursue my own career or even having my me time. for him, I am nothing but a free maid and a free babysitter, with no break or holidays, unless I beg like crazy with so much tears.

Now I don't even feel sad or hatred anymore. I just live day by day, keep my distance from him, and try my best in doing my duties as a wife and as a mother, but without feelings. things that used to upset me in the past, now don't bother me anymore. if I can be crude, I am like a blown-up sex doll now. I am functioning physically very well, but emotionally, I am already dead. I feel nothing, hence I can't get happy or excited but positively I also can't get sad, upset or angry. I just take everything as it is, with very minimum reactions.

I am scared with myself right now. Is it normal to be emotionally void?

some of you might have parents who have cases like me. Staying in a dead marriage just for the sake of you and your siblings. May I have some insights or inputs on whether it damage you as a child or now as an adult? what are the consequences of such situation in your life now?

can anybody also suggest ways for me to regain my emotions back? I want to live my life to the fullest.

sorry if my message confuse you all. I have a very limited time to write this message, so I just write and ask whatever comes up in my mind.

I am open to any responses and suggestions, even harsh and critical ones. please enlighten me.

thank you in advance.
 


miloice

Well-Known Member
Dear all,

I am sure you all have ever heard of couple staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their child/children.

That is what is happening to me now. My marriage can actually be certified dead already, but we stay together for the sake of our 3-year-old son.

after so many heartbreak and disappointment, I have lost all feeling to my husband. I also believe that my husband stays with me and pretends that everything is OK in our marriage just to make sure that our son has a complete family.

I have already asked for divorce numerous times since last year, especially after I found out about his infatuation with his colleague. I always assured him that we will have a very amicable divorce with zero drama. I will not ask for alimony, in fact he can keep all our marital assets, I will not ask for a cent of it. I will keep quiet about his betrayal and we will have joint custody of our son and I promise I will never make anything difficult for him to be with our son, as our son means everything to him. all in exchange for my freedom from this unhappy and torturous relationship.

Yet he won't give me my freedom. He said that he will never sign the divorce paper, and will make things difficult for me. He keeps telling me that our son will grow up to be a damaged person if we got divorced and it will all be my fault. he also always "threaten" me emotionally about our parents, especially my parents, saying how our divorce could possibly make them so heartbroken and make them pass away earlier than they should. it is like I will be killing my own parents.

because of these emotional blackmail, I relented and decided to just wait until the day my folks will peacefully pass away and our son grows up to be an independent man, then maybe I can finally have my life back. I know this could just be a wishful thinking, but hope like this is what makes me keep on living.

perhaps you all have ever heard this sentence " the opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy". that is what is happening to me now. last time I could get upset and emotional whenever he humiliated me by getting too "friendly" with other woman in front of me, keep on comparing me with other women and praising other women while belittling me. never allow me to pursue my own career or even having my me time. for him, I am nothing but a free maid and a free babysitter, with no break or holidays, unless I beg like crazy with so much tears.

Now I don't even feel sad or hatred anymore. I just live day by day, keep my distance from him, and try my best in doing my duties as a wife and as a mother, but without feelings. things that used to upset me in the past, now don't bother me anymore. if I can be crude, I am like a blown-up sex doll now. I am functioning physically very well, but emotionally, I am already dead. I feel nothing, hence I can't get happy or excited but positively I also can't get sad, upset or angry. I just take everything as it is, with very minimum reactions.

I am scared with myself right now. Is it normal to be emotionally void?

some of you might have parents who have cases like me. Staying in a dead marriage just for the sake of you and your siblings. May I have some insights or inputs on whether it damage you as a child or now as an adult? what are the consequences of such situation in your life now?

can anybody also suggest ways for me to regain my emotions back? I want to live my life to the fullest.

sorry if my message confuse you all. I have a very limited time to write this message, so I just write and ask whatever comes up in my mind.

I am open to any responses and suggestions, even harsh and critical ones. please enlighten me.

thank you in advance.

Do you think children are stupid and not understanding their parents are unhappy? He witness the family relationship and he can see no bond, no affection between the both of you. He will see how his father doesn't respect his mother at all. It will affect his development.

If you want something enough, do what it takes. Why do you need to beg him?
 

Jeremy1979

New Member
Dear all,

I am sure you all have ever heard of couple staying in a loveless marriage for the sake of their child/children.

That is what is happening to me now. My marriage can actually be certified dead already, but we stay together for the sake of our 3-year-old son.

after so many heartbreak and disappointment, I have lost all feeling to my husband. I also believe that my husband stays with me and pretends that everything is OK in our marriage just to make sure that our son has a complete family.

I have already asked for divorce numerous times since last year, especially after I found out about his infatuation with his colleague. I always assured him that we will have a very amicable divorce with zero drama. I will not ask for alimony, in fact he can keep all our marital assets, I will not ask for a cent of it. I will keep quiet about his betrayal and we will have joint custody of our son and I promise I will never make anything difficult for him to be with our son, as our son means everything to him. all in exchange for my freedom from this unhappy and torturous relationship.

Yet he won't give me my freedom. He said that he will never sign the divorce paper, and will make things difficult for me. He keeps telling me that our son will grow up to be a damaged person if we got divorced and it will all be my fault. he also always "threaten" me emotionally about our parents, especially my parents, saying how our divorce could possibly make them so heartbroken and make them pass away earlier than they should. it is like I will be killing my own parents.

because of these emotional blackmail, I relented and decided to just wait until the day my folks will peacefully pass away and our son grows up to be an independent man, then maybe I can finally have my life back. I know this could just be a wishful thinking, but hope like this is what makes me keep on living.

perhaps you all have ever heard this sentence " the opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy". that is what is happening to me now. last time I could get upset and emotional whenever he humiliated me by getting too "friendly" with other woman in front of me, keep on comparing me with other women and praising other women while belittling me. never allow me to pursue my own career or even having my me time. for him, I am nothing but a free maid and a free babysitter, with no break or holidays, unless I beg like crazy with so much tears.

Now I don't even feel sad or hatred anymore. I just live day by day, keep my distance from him, and try my best in doing my duties as a wife and as a mother, but without feelings. things that used to upset me in the past, now don't bother me anymore. if I can be crude, I am like a blown-up sex doll now. I am functioning physically very well, but emotionally, I am already dead. I feel nothing, hence I can't get happy or excited but positively I also can't get sad, upset or angry. I just take everything as it is, with very minimum reactions.

I am scared with myself right now. Is it normal to be emotionally void?

some of you might have parents who have cases like me. Staying in a dead marriage just for the sake of you and your siblings. May I have some insights or inputs on whether it damage you as a child or now as an adult? what are the consequences of such situation in your life now?

can anybody also suggest ways for me to regain my emotions back? I want to live my life to the fullest.

sorry if my message confuse you all. I have a very limited time to write this message, so I just write and ask whatever comes up in my mind.

I am open to any responses and suggestions, even harsh and critical ones. please enlighten me.

thank you in advance.

I am not an expert but I think you need to identify why you are feeling what you are feeling now? Do you have proof that he is cheating? The fact that he does not want a divorce probably because he treasure his family? I think if a man want to leave, he will not be bother and will leave immediately. I have seen a lot of them even with 4 children. I personally think that the child will be in worse position if you both continue in an unhappy marriage. Probably communicate with your husband first why he acted thay way? How did he belittle you? Many women let their guard down when it comes to appearance once they got married and got kid...is it possible that he wants to encourage you but in a wrong way? Sorry to say this, probably you are mentally tired and in a very stressful situation having young kids and stay home mum? Plan a holiday together? I have been married for 10 years and I admit sometimes I can feel "bore" too...we are all human after all, we need to recharge and it is also true when it comes to feeling and relationship...you need to keep working on it and reignite that feeling...I won't say your problem is insignificant but it is very very amendable. All the best!
 

pikachuuu

Member
a) divorce. But since I don't know how it works - need experts to come in here n share
b) do what Jeremy said, maybe on top up that go for some marriage counselling sessions
c) find time for yourself and do something u like, it can be a new hobby, a new course, meeting up with friends etc. Stay home moms/dads really suffer a lot in terms of financials, energy drain by housework, by kids and the general lack of knowledge of the real world because they have either not worked before or stopped working. I think at the moment you are emotionally drained and I presume lack of self confidence due to the constant comparison to other women by your husband. Thats why improving yourself now would be good as it will help build your confidence. Start with something small, start with something familiar. what is it that you like to do in the past, maybe go back to it. Or challenge yourself and learn something new when your kid is in childcare, kindergarten etc.

Keep working on yourself (and your child of course), since you already feel apathetic to him, just pretend he rents the place will do. No one said this would be easy, but try your best :)
 

Rhea fenrir

New Member
Dear all,

Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful replies.

I will implement your advice by teaching again next semester. I love teaching so much, but since I had a baby, my husband forbade me from working and wanted me to stay at home 24/7 with my son. Not teaching had definitely played a part too in my mental breakdown, as I felt trapped at home. Thank you for this advice. I will fight for my right.

I take good care of my appearance, in fact my husband does not like it all when other man look at me. When other men like my selfie on my instagram, my husband seldom like my pic, even though he like other woman's pic and even use special app to save the instagram pic. But that is fine, I can't change his feelings towards me.

My husband won't go on a holiday with me without our son.

He admitted to his cheating after I found the evidence in his phone. I have forgiven him but find it difficult to forget. I knew he is in love with his colleague,yet he chose his family because our son means so much for him. Now I feel pity for him too as he is stuck with me.

I will follow your advice and find new hobbies and new courses to learn.

Even when my marriage is dead already, if I can make myself become a happy woman again, then my son will be happy too. I truly hope so,

I really appreciate all your insights.

God bless you all.
 

foolishguy

New Member
Hi Rhea,

Life is too short to stay on in a marriage that is dead.

What I suggest that if you still want to save your marriage, talk to your husband and gave him the ultimatum. Either both of you put in effort to try to save your marriage or you will walk away.

Give yourself maybe a span of 6 months to a year, that includes your aspiration of wanting to teach again and attain back intimacy with your husband, including him to stay true to you and not go on cheating...etc... if things are still not improving. Walk away and file for separation on your side. This is Singapore, not any 3rd world country. Nobody can trap you in a marriage if you don't want to.

Don't go on looking for validation from anyone or give up your power so easily.
Just remember to try before giving up.

Good luck and take care.
 

Doryxl

New Member
Hi, i have to say i admire your strength in overcoming all the emotions for bad things happening around you. I think that is very tough to achieve but you have done it. Some may feel being emotionally void makes living pointless, but why would we want to keep reliving hurt and sadness caused by someone who isn't worth our time.

I have never been in an oppressive relationship before so this s what i would do. Gather all the information you have about his infidelity. I think it is a good reason for divorce/separation? Take recordings of things he say about how he wants to make your life difficult. Take evidence if he ever becomes violent. You cannot just give up on a divorce just because he says so. Take matters into your own hands. I am advocating divorce only because it could affect upbringing of your son. You don't want him to grow up into a man that is like his father.

Also, to me he is wanting to stay in the marriage only for his own benefit. To have access to other women but still get to see his son everyday.

Hope you make the right choice. Good luck.
 

Rhea fenrir

New Member
Dear foolishguy and doryxl

Thank you so much for your kind inputs

After reading all the advice from the two of you and other members, I have realized that I might have made some mistakes too in our marriage that makes him fell in love with his colleague. I might have played some part too in the breaking down of our marriage.

So perhaps a marriage counseling will be good for us. There are no marriage counselors in my place here (sorry, but we are not Singaporeans) but here psychiatrists sometimes also act as marriage counselors. I will start looking for psychiatrists with good recommendations.

He has since stopped all contacts with his colleague after I found out about his infidelity. The staff also had resigned and moved to other town. So far I haven't seen any evidence of new affair, so perhaps he already learnt some lessons. I don't think he ended it because he still loves me though. It is more because he was afraid I would report it to his parents or my parents, I guess.

None of our family know about our relationship problems. We are perfect couple in their eyes.

They think that we are perfect couple because we rarely fight. Little do they know we rarely fight because we had stopped communicating and apathetic towards each other.

Now I will have to be able to persuade him to follow a marriage counseling. Wish me luck.

Talking with you all has given me the strength I never thought I have.

Thank you everyone.
 

SnowAngelx93

New Member
The most important thing to sustain in a marriage is still love. Ask him if he still loves you or vice versa. It's pointless to remain in a marriage for the sake of remaining. Your son would realise this after and upset that his parents married and stayed till now because of him and not because of love. He might blame himself for the cause of it. If he is willing to ignite that love and care within a certain time frame and you feel that both of you still wanted each other then you can continue, otherwise you are still young to pursue your own happiness. Becos in this case of divorce, none of the party is hurt but both do not seem to have feelings towards each other. But anyway, if both of you are willing to work this out and ignite that love, that will definitely be great.
 

Rhea fenrir

New Member
Dear SnowAngel

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

We are always polite and courteous to each other in front of our son. We rarely fight in front of him.so our son, being only 3 years old, will most probably not knowing or aware of anything. But by the time he grows up, then maybe he can actually see the invisible wall between me and his father, and problems will start to happen.

We haven't met with any counselors, but I have decided to take the initiative to make the first steps. I try to talk to him about general topics (usually we only talk about our son and family), share jokes and funny videos that I get from Internet with him, and even start making physical contact with him again, like hugging him in his sleep. To my surprise, he hugs me back. So far so good, I guess.

I am not that naive though to assume that he still loves me and that the storm is ever and we will live happily ever after.there is still a possibility that he thinks that I am finally being submissive and will accept all his antics, like his cheating, etc. Oh hell no, I am just practising the mantra "be kind", but I stay alert for any misdoing.

Why can't i just ask him directly whether he still loves me? Well, he doesn't like this kind of emotional conversation and of course, talk is cheap, he can easily lie.so I prefer to observe and understand through his actions.

Like most of the advice from people here, I am giving our relationship a limit too. As long as he no longer cheats, I am willing to stay for as long as he wants me to be. But if he cheats again, then it is the end.

BTW, he always refuse divorce with me because our son is very attached to me and our son's happiness means everything to him, not because he wants me. As for me, I am afraid that getting divorce will damage my son and also break my parents' heart.

Snowangel, you write about pursuing my own happiness.that's very kind of you. Right now, I hope I can find happiness again in my marriage. Wish me luck.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Dear SnowAngel

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

We are always polite and courteous to each other in front of our son. We rarely fight in front of him.so our son, being only 3 years old, will most probably not knowing or aware of anything. But by the time he grows up, then maybe he can actually see the invisible wall between me and his father, and problems will start to happen.

We haven't met with any counselors, but I have decided to take the initiative to make the first steps. I try to talk to him about general topics (usually we only talk about our son and family), share jokes and funny videos that I get from Internet with him, and even start making physical contact with him again, like hugging him in his sleep. To my surprise, he hugs me back. So far so good, I guess.

I am not that naive though to assume that he still loves me and that the storm is ever and we will live happily ever after.there is still a possibility that he thinks that I am finally being submissive and will accept all his antics, like his cheating, etc. Oh hell no, I am just practising the mantra "be kind", but I stay alert for any misdoing.

Why can't i just ask him directly whether he still loves me? Well, he doesn't like this kind of emotional conversation and of course, talk is cheap, he can easily lie.so I prefer to observe and understand through his actions.

Like most of the advice from people here, I am giving our relationship a limit too. As long as he no longer cheats, I am willing to stay for as long as he wants me to be. But if he cheats again, then it is the end.

BTW, he always refuse divorce with me because our son is very attached to me and our son's happiness means everything to him, not because he wants me. As for me, I am afraid that getting divorce will damage my son and also break my parents' heart.

Snowangel, you write about pursuing my own happiness.that's very kind of you. Right now, I hope I can find happiness again in my marriage. Wish me luck.
hi, the fact they both of you are still 'commited' to the marriage for various reasons, there is still a common interest. Continue to build on the communication. Till a point, you guys are comfortable enough to speak your minds. About seeing a counselor, you do not need his involvement. Work on your passion, hobbies and developing your own value in your life beyond your son and marriage. Be it, fitness, dancing, sports or cooking. What is impt is activity that keep your life enriched and fulfilled. It is impt for your mental health, social circle and self confidence. Going back to work can be useful. If it comes a point for decision to move out of the marriage, you would have a more concrete option that you have build.
 
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life_is

Active Member
Dear SnowAngel

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

We are always polite and courteous to each other in front of our son. We rarely fight in front of him.so our son, being only 3 years old, will most probably not knowing or aware of anything. But by the time he grows up, then maybe he can actually see the invisible wall between me and his father, and problems will start to happen.

We haven't met with any counselors, but I have decided to take the initiative to make the first steps. I try to talk to him about general topics (usually we only talk about our son and family), share jokes and funny videos that I get from Internet with him, and even start making physical contact with him again, like hugging him in his sleep. To my surprise, he hugs me back. So far so good, I guess.

I am not that naive though to assume that he still loves me and that the storm is ever and we will live happily ever after.there is still a possibility that he thinks that I am finally being submissive and will accept all his antics, like his cheating, etc. Oh hell no, I am just practising the mantra "be kind", but I stay alert for any misdoing.

Why can't i just ask him directly whether he still loves me? Well, he doesn't like this kind of emotional conversation and of course, talk is cheap, he can easily lie.so I prefer to observe and understand through his actions.

Like most of the advice from people here, I am giving our relationship a limit too. As long as he no longer cheats, I am willing to stay for as long as he wants me to be. But if he cheats again, then it is the end.

BTW, he always refuse divorce with me because our son is very attached to me and our son's happiness means everything to him, not because he wants me. As for me, I am afraid that getting divorce will damage my son and also break my parents' heart.

Snowangel, you write about pursuing my own happiness.that's very kind of you. Right now, I hope I can find happiness again in my marriage. Wish me luck.

Your marriage is fine. Try being married to someone who finds every excuse to sleep apart from day one for many years, complain singaporean men too poor because of NS, find fault with entire family, try to break you from family member to leave you isolated and subject to all sorts of abuse from her family. The only time you ever see them in bed is when creating babies. That is for them to scam the child maintenance and guarantee housing. This woman works in government some more, and has supportive colleagues who also scammed their marriages.
 

gladjo

Member
Hi Rhea

Reading your sharing is like playing back my sad history ... well ...in a nutshell, like u sarcifice for the sake of our kids even though he admitted adultery not once.but many.times... i thought .. i thought now the kids are old enough (22 n 22) .. we just sell house n divorce amicably ....not till i see the divorce papers i got a shock n cried for days. He wanda me to " transfer" my share of my house to him n **** off ..25yrs ..i paid for every single thing for the house n kids while he party outside..i was a married single mum in other words..anything breakdown i am there, mum cum handy man cum tuition teacher .... i laid down my job n self represented .. i went to legal aid, got thrown out
..went to law society n was thrown out coz my kids are already big n my case is therefore weak n i cant proof receipts for all i bought for the house ...went to social welfare for aid..got thrown out...i was still working though i'm only drawing $2500 per mth ..wtf .. no choice..all.doors were closed.. i scrambled n self reprsented n fought in court..learn as i go along..ask n ask n ask till the family court officers know me so well ...
Learn from my life n dun make the same mistakes i made..my only regret...i should hv walked out when my kids were little
 

meimei1601

Member
We can be tempted by a content life, a comfortable situation and something that work just fine, but how many of us are able to risk giving up that because we are not the kind of happy we want and deserve to be?

How many of us settle into something that's good for fear of giving it up, just in case there isn't anything better out there for us? So often when we give time, love and commitment (in so many forms) to another person, splitting is misconstrued as giving up, throwing in towel and recklessly abandoning something that perhaps could have worked if given more time. But what about when u just know?

We definately don't think every little argument or disagreement is grounds for a spilt, when problems surface we work on, communicated transparently and reconsidered? Of Cos, but relationship can run their course, whether we are able to explain it or not.

We will be sad and scared but staying in a relationship should never be circumstantial, it should never be an " I am not happy, but I am staying because...."statememt it should never be something that holds us back.

We are not encouraging for a divorce case, but we all deserve what we deserve to be happy and if a relationship isn't right. It isn't right. Don't let the circumstances of your relationship guide you to staying or leaving.

Your heart and your head know better.
 

Rhea fenrir

New Member
Hi Rhea

Reading your sharing is like playing back my sad history ... well ...in a nutshell, like u sarcifice for the sake of our kids even though he admitted adultery not once.but many.times... i thought .. i thought now the kids are old enough (22 n 22) .. we just sell house n divorce amicably ....not till i see the divorce papers i got a shock n cried for days. He wanda me to " transfer" my share of my house to him n **** off ..25yrs ..i paid for every single thing for the house n kids while he party outside..i was a married single mum in other words..anything breakdown i am there, mum cum handy man cum tuition teacher .... i laid down my job n self represented .. i went to legal aid, got thrown out
..went to law society n was thrown out coz my kids are already big n my case is therefore weak n i cant proof receipts for all i bought for the house ...went to social welfare for aid..got thrown out...i was still working though i'm only drawing $2500 per mth ..wtf .. no choice..all.doors were closed.. i scrambled n self reprsented n fought in court..learn as i go along..ask n ask n ask till the family court officers know me so well ...
Learn from my life n dun make the same mistakes i made..my only regret...i should hv walked out when my kids were little

Dear Gladjo

I am so sorry to hear about your predicaments. It must have been hell for you. I really pray for you so that you will have all the support and assistance you deserve.

Thank you so much for valuable advice from other members too.

Just to update, my husband and I are getting along much better day by day, mostly because we now communicate more and also try to be more considerate towards each other.

We both have admitted each other mistakes and try our best to forgive each other. Of course, we still sometimes bicker here and there, but we both always try not to go to bed angry with unresolved problems anymore.

I try to stop being emotionally void and share my feelings everyday to him via whatsapp every morning, because there are things difficult to say directly without igniting fights. He will always reply my messages by the end of the day no matter how busy he is. I am happy we have a medium to communicate more deeply.

Whenever I have flashes of his past affair that truly break my heart, i will always do my best to ignore those memories and keep saying to myself that it is over already, i should close that chapter of my life, learn from it and move forward without looking back.

So far from my observation, my husband seems to be very keen to rebuild our relationship. He goes home on time, always brings me with him wherever he goes, never hide his phones or even password protect his phones, he puts my picture as his phone wallpaper, as his social media profile picture, and even write sweet words to me in my IG that anyone could read. My observations could be wrong, but I try to stay positive. I am very keen to start over with him too.

Wish me luck and I wish everyone in this forum a very happy ending too with their respective partners.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Dear Gladjo

I am so sorry to hear about your predicaments. It must have been hell for you. I really pray for you so that you will have all the support and assistance you deserve.

Thank you so much for valuable advice from other members too.

Just to update, my husband and I are getting along much better day by day, mostly because we now communicate more and also try to be more considerate towards each other.

We both have admitted each other mistakes and try our best to forgive each other. Of course, we still sometimes bicker here and there, but we both always try not to go to bed angry with unresolved problems anymore.

I try to stop being emotionally void and share my feelings everyday to him via whatsapp every morning, because there are things difficult to say directly without igniting fights. He will always reply my messages by the end of the day no matter how busy he is. I am happy we have a medium to communicate more deeply.

Whenever I have flashes of his past affair that truly break my heart, i will always do my best to ignore those memories and keep saying to myself that it is over already, i should close that chapter of my life, learn from it and move forward without looking back.

So far from my observation, my husband seems to be very keen to rebuild our relationship. He goes home on time, always brings me with him wherever he goes, never hide his phones or even password protect his phones, he puts my picture as his phone wallpaper, as his social media profile picture, and even write sweet words to me in my IG that anyone could read. My observations could be wrong, but I try to stay positive. I am very keen to start over with him too.

Wish me luck and I wish everyone in this forum a very happy ending too with their respective partners.

Good to see that there is good effort and commitment put in, wishing you happiness, no matter the outcome.
 

Missuszue

New Member
Hi All,

It's my first time sharing my stories on blogger, i have read a lot of stories in here and i hope here would be the best way for me to throw all out what have keep in me for all this while.

I apologies for my bad typing as its my first time doing it. I hope i really get advise from all of you that have read this.

I have married for 06years and have 2 beautiful daughters (4 & 2yrs), Before our marriage i caught him (husband) with another women thou its hurting i forgive him. Thinking that he wont be doing it anymore, people always said (lovely couple marriage) till now i think its bullshit (sorry for my word) when i expecting my 1st daughter i caught him chatting with women on few apps, at this point of time i really feel like jumping n drowning myself in the sea. Again i forgive him thou its so hurting n when i expecting my 2nd everything seems to be smooth but 2020 i kept seeing a lot of stupidest action on him eg. watching porn, having his own private acct on twitter n etc when i confront him he deleted but not all :( i feel almost give up on him but i could not do anything as i just bought a house together with him few years back & having my parents stayed with me with my 2 kids still very young i just feel so hopeless. I have tried my very best talk to him from angry, quarrelling, now i even very calm the angriness that i have before totally i cant feel it anymore and i dont know why probably i'm too tired of getting angry after 6years my patience that i have. But what happen now all of my family emails including my husband link on my hp and i have been stalking him thru his account what he been searching on social media till recently under his account web activity he turn off so i'm not able to see anything he browse on his hp anymore! what concern me now "WHAT AGAIN THAT YOU GOING TO DO!!" i'm very tired divorce wont settle the matters, i confront him still never get better dear readers pls help me and share your thoughts deep in my heart i'm crying with tons of tears i always try to be the best wife cooking even i lost my weight just to look good on him everything but yet nothing going my way
 

rip_curl

Member
Hi All,

It's my first time sharing my stories on blogger, i have read a lot of stories in here and i hope here would be the best way for me to throw all out what have keep in me for all this while.

I apologies for my bad typing as its my first time doing it. I hope i really get advise from all of you that have read this.

I have married for 06years and have 2 beautiful daughters (4 & 2yrs), Before our marriage i caught him (husband) with another women thou its hurting i forgive him. Thinking that he wont be doing it anymore, people always said (lovely couple marriage) till now i think its bullshit (sorry for my word) when i expecting my 1st daughter i caught him chatting with women on few apps, at this point of time i really feel like jumping n drowning myself in the sea. Again i forgive him thou its so hurting n when i expecting my 2nd everything seems to be smooth but 2020 i kept seeing a lot of stupidest action on him eg. watching porn, having his own private acct on twitter n etc when i confront him he deleted but not all :( i feel almost give up on him but i could not do anything as i just bought a house together with him few years back & having my parents stayed with me with my 2 kids still very young i just feel so hopeless. I have tried my very best talk to him from angry, quarrelling, now i even very calm the angriness that i have before totally i cant feel it anymore and i dont know why probably i'm too tired of getting angry after 6years my patience that i have. But what happen now all of my family emails including my husband link on my hp and i have been stalking him thru his account what he been searching on social media till recently under his account web activity he turn off so i'm not able to see anything he browse on his hp anymore! what concern me now "WHAT AGAIN THAT YOU GOING TO DO!!" i'm very tired divorce wont settle the matters, i confront him still never get better dear readers pls help me and share your thoughts deep in my heart i'm crying with tons of tears i always try to be the best wife cooking even i lost my weight just to look good on him everything but yet nothing going my way

Hi, I dont have the full details to give you sound advise. Just dont do anything stupid. Think of your kids and your parents. Life can be tough no doubt but you have to bite the bullet ok. Surfing porn and create a private twitter account? Wats the issue? Yes surf porn is not ideal but then its no big crime? I know trust was lost since 6 years ago but did you catch him having those undesired conversation with other gals? I mean you caught him with another woman and he had repent and not committed to another such act for the past 4-5 years right? Did you control him so tightly that he felt he wanted to keep all these private away from you? Take a step back and reflect also. Maybe its good to ask him. Being a control freak and make things worst.

Stay rationale...
 

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