Keep going to others birthday but never mine

[SnowAngelx93]

I have had this problem making friends. Previously there was a group of mine i used to hang out with and the leader was someone i knew of. The rest were all classmates but we never really talked. So they have been celebrating each others birthdays and ive been going to theirs but they never celebrated mine. So i left. This time i have another group and they did the same thing. I never feel that i belong to this group though they would ask about me during our outings. I have another female friend whom i thought would be close to me and i celebrated for her birthday earlier but she never did for me. She just wished me happy birthday virtually and asked me when i was free on my birthday. I replied the dates but she saw it but never replied after that, which had been 3 months. I also personally wrote a card to a friend in my existing group before and mailed to her but that's it. She also did not regard me as a friend. I went for my colleagues birthday celebration, but i understand that in that group only the most bubbly person get to be celebrated with as the rest were also not celebrated. I have had this existing female group that we celebrated for each other previously but since we were busy we did not celebrate for all this year so i think next year could start that. There is one person in this female group who never initiates any outing or birthday celebration. The rest of us initiated except for her for all these years. I can feel she doesnt want to go out with us. When she took pics with us, she only sends the photos via out chat and claims that she doesnt like to upload on social media but whenever shes out with others she will upload the photos excitedly. I want and tried to make more female friends but they still did not want me in the end. Somehow the female friends did not want to be with me. I know nothing about makeup stuffs and know little about fashion and am not crazy into kpop or jpop stuffs. I am into food which currently my female group has interest in as well. But other than that i dont click with other girls and they aint a true friend. Like the 2nd group mentioned earlier, they remembered to celebrate for each other but never mine and im tired of contributing to this group's birthdays and I feel very sad and more and more like a fool being laughed by others that I contribute to the group but they never did for myself. The feeling of being outcast is there. Anyone has similar experience before? Im a girl btw.

 

[Staypositive]

I have had this problem making friends. Previously there was a group of mine i used to hang out with and the leader was someone i knew of. The rest were all classmates but we never really talked. So they have been celebrating each others birthdays and ive been going to theirs but they never celebrated mine. So i left. This time i have another group and they did the same thing. I never feel that i belong to this group though they would ask about me during our outings. I have another female friend whom i thought would be close to me and i celebrated for her birthday earlier but she never did for me. She just wished me happy birthday virtually and asked me when i was free on my birthday. I replied the dates but she saw it but never replied after that, which had been 3 months. I also personally wrote a card to a friend in my existing group before and mailed to her but that's it. She also did not regard me as a friend. I went for my colleagues birthday celebration, but i understand that in that group only the most bubbly person get to be celebrated with as the rest were also not celebrated. I have had this existing female group that we celebrated for each other previously but since we were busy we did not celebrate for all this year so i think next year could start that. There is one person in this female group who never initiates any outing or birthday celebration. The rest of us initiated except for her for all these years. I can feel she doesnt want to go out with us. When she took pics with us, she only sends the photos via out chat and claims that she doesnt like to upload on social media but whenever shes out with others she will upload the photos excitedly. I want and tried to make more female friends but they still did not want me in the end. Somehow the female friends did not want to be with me. I know nothing about makeup stuffs and know little about fashion and am not crazy into kpop or jpop stuffs. I am into food which currently my female group has interest in as well. But other than that i dont click with other girls and they aint a true friend. Like the 2nd group mentioned earlier, they remembered to celebrate for each other but never mine and im tired of contributing to this group's birthdays and I feel very sad and more and more like a fool being laughed by others that I contribute to the group but they never did for myself. The feeling of being outcast is there. Anyone has similar experience before? Im a girl btw.

If you are not happy abt it,perhaps u can voice it out to them.see how they react.if they still don't reciprocate then dun join them anymore.friends come and go.its a selfish world out there,dun take things so hard.be happy.

 

[SnowAngelx93]

If you are not happy abt it,perhaps u can voice it out to them.see how they react.if they still don't reciprocate then dun join them anymore.friends come and go.its a selfish world out there,dun take things so hard.be happy.

Hmm dats the thing... idw to make us awkward whenever theres celebration.

 

[miloice]

Firstly, when it happens with many different people, and you observe a consistent pattern, figure that there is one constant thing in the equation. Not faulting you but seems your expectation is like people to return you the favor. Celebrating birthdays isn't something for favors, neither are friendships. Don't force yourself to click. Make true friends that are comfortable and accepting you for who you are. Regardless, I never have the expectation of friends remembering or celebrating my birthdays.

There are some that do, but mostly, I celebrate it only with my family, that's the priority. For really good friends, I do make a point to call them and catch up even if I'm overseas. Mostly, they are busy with their families too. No need to meet up and celebrate. Friends are individual relationships and not groupies. Groups are formed merely because there are mutual interests or activities. The friendship is still individual.

 

[Linus84]

These are my observations

You are kind of young and maybe an Introvert or quiet person.

Sense of belonging
I think remembering or celebrating birthday is not your primary objective. But using this as gauge whether you fit well in a group and how people values you is your main concern. You are using the mentality that if you put out your heart to someone. You should be treated equally as well. But this is not really a good indicator.

Suitable friends
I think you need to shortlist friends that share your common interest or personality. For your case in a group you might want to develop stronger Bonding with individuals that you are more comfortable with. But then again always remember to be yourself. If someone cannot accept who you are then hardly a true friendship will be Forge.

True facts
As age goes on everybody changes and thing will be different. There will be more priorities in your life and you will have a clearer image of friendships.

So don't rush for fitting in a group but focus on the quality of friends.

These are based on my assumption hope you're not offended.

Cheersb

 

[octobride]

These are not your real friends. Since they don't celebrate for you, why not you stop attending theirs as well?

 

[SnowAngelx93]

Firstly, when it happens with many different people, and you observe a consistent pattern, figure that there is one constant thing in the equation. Not faulting you but seems your expectation is like people to return you the favor. Celebrating birthdays isn't something for favors, neither are friendships. Don't force yourself to click. Make true friends that are comfortable and accepting you for who you are. Regardless, I never have the expectation of friends remembering or celebrating my birthdays.

There are some that do, but mostly, I celebrate it only with my family, that's the priority. For really good friends, I do make a point to call them and catch up even if I'm overseas. Mostly, they are busy with their families too. No need to meet up and celebrate. Friends are individual relationships and not groupies. Groups are formed merely because there are mutual interests or activities. The friendship is still individual.

Hmm itz hard not to feel that way when you are the only one in the group attending birthdays but never someone celebrating for you... itz very pathetic in the eyes of people actually because celebrating for everyone means associating with that friend in the group... by not celebrating that particular only person is letting everyone know you are outcast...

 

[Staypositive]

Dun force yourself if ur not happy.what for attend for the sake of attending.

 

[miloice]

Hmm itz hard not to feel that way when you are the only one in the group attending birthdays but never someone celebrating for you... itz very pathetic in the eyes of people actually because celebrating for everyone means associating with that friend in the group... by not celebrating that particular only person is letting everyone know you are outcast...

Why are you an outcast in the group in the first place? Is there any need to remain in a group??
I have friends of different groups. I don't celebrate my birthdays regularly with any and see no need for that either. You are probably very young from views, not to mention your nick (93), I suppose you are only 22. People come and go in our lives, there will be few that really truly matters. Sincerity to friends is what get you true friends. Again, the same advice. No need to force yourself click in any group. Most groups disappear when the need for them diminish. We will move on.

You don't need groupies.

 

[SnowAngelx93]

Like recently i wished them happy birthday on social media besides attending their birthdays... they also nv like or reply back but for others they did... its affecting me greatly as i feel sadder and sadder it's like they did it on purpose and leaving me out... i feel sadder like i dont fit into this society i feel so outcasted. And hopeless in this world like i did sth for them but they jz left me out like that...

 

[SnowAngelx93]

Why are you an outcast in the group in the first place? Is there any need to remain in a group??
I have friends of different groups. I don't celebrate my birthdays regularly with any and see no need for that either. You are probably very young from views, not to mention your nick (93), I suppose you are only 22. People come and go in our lives, there will be few that really truly matters. Sincerity to friends is what get you true friends. Again, the same advice. No need to force yourself click in any group. Most groups disappear when the need for them diminish. We will move on.

You don't need groupies.

Cos i will be seeing them every other day in future as my bf is also in the group and its like we already know each other for a few years but the rest of the members dont seem to care about my presence i think... i did my best to attend theirs and treated them like frens alrdi but it seemed they dun care...

 

[SnowAngelx93]

Am i overreacting?..

 

[miloice]

yes, groupies, doesn't mean everyone in the grp is your good friend. As you mentioned, you are in the group because your bf is with them. If you are not comfortable, you do not need to be involved with all their activities either. You are an individual yourself. You don't revolve around your bf.

 

[Staypositive]

Cos i will be seeing them every other day in future as my bf is also in the group and its like we already know each other for a few years but the rest of the members dont seem to care about my presence i think... i did my best to attend theirs and treated them like frens alrdi but it seemed they dun care...

The solution to this problem is letting them know how you feel.no point feeling sad on ur own.let them know how u feel.if they still dun care after you told them how u felt,you should know that they are not worth to be friends with.just stop attending their gathering.you dun have to depend on them for their friendship.you can always know new ppl.no one is indispensable in this world.

 

[miloice]

The solution to this problem is letting them know how you feel.no point feeling sad on ur own.let them know how u feel.if they still dun care after you told them how u felt,you should know that they are not worth to be friends with.just stop attending their gathering.you dun have to depend on them for their friendship.you can always know new ppl.no one is indispensable in this world.

Agree. if these aren't folks you cherish, then why bother? If its bothers you enough to keep you upset, then voice it out.

 

[newproject]

Am i overreacting?..

yes you are.