Jeannexoxo
New Member
How do you know if the man / woman would be the love of your life??
Marriage a such a big word.
Marriage a such a big word.
The love of your life
- Thread starter Jeannexoxo
- Start date
i have same question ...but i guess there is no perfect person...its more of what is the least of his characters that you can or can't live with. If you can overcome that then I think you found love. 
rabber
Member
It's a feeling and a connection and when I strip away the romance, can I still respect him and see him as a partner which I can connect not only physcially, emotionally but also intellectually....? Yes, I can and I know he is the love of my life! For now. hahha... but once I've made the choice, I'll do my best to ensure he remains as the only one that has an actual romantic rs with me.
Jeannexoxo
New Member
Thats what I thought too... at least everything is going well until recently the engagement than marriage!! I start to wonder if he is really the one that I could spend my lifetime with..
Jeannexoxo
New Member
nice quote.
Well cos both of our parents think we should get married cos we have been together for 8 yrs.
lemonzil
Member
Thanks... i found the quote from the noahark calendar which is really meaningful and true.
im sorry, but it does sounds like the marriage is because of the parents' decision..?
Jeannexoxo
New Member
well, kinda yea. he haven officially propose as well actually.
Like housing bla bla just have to come cos we are of age?
Like housing bla bla just have to come cos we are of age?
lemonzil
Member
i can understand what you mean...
honestly speaking, marriage is not a big word, to me, maintaining the marriage is a lifetime project which both have to participate actively to make it last.
I can't tell if my husband is the love of my life until my dying breath. in fact, my marriage was rushed due to his parent's traditional beliefs.
but as of now, yes he is. and since we've exchanged vows, our common goal is to live up to the vows and work towards substaining him as the love of my life?
honestly speaking, marriage is not a big word, to me, maintaining the marriage is a lifetime project which both have to participate actively to make it last.
I can't tell if my husband is the love of my life until my dying breath. in fact, my marriage was rushed due to his parent's traditional beliefs.
but as of now, yes he is. and since we've exchanged vows, our common goal is to live up to the vows and work towards substaining him as the love of my life?
sharingNcaring101
New Member
How do you know if the man / woman would be the love of your life??
Marriage a such a big word.
A good marriage requires effort to improve, without effort, a marriage declines. If we don’t add energy, disorder increases, gardens grow weeds, building rundown and crumble. Without work, a couple cannot progress.
When a marriage isn’t working, couples often don’t know how what went wrong – or how to fix the situation on their own. When you can’t identify the problem, it consequently becomes difficult to have a healthy marriage.
In these situations, a professional - counselling can help both parties identify problem areas and work through solutions.
Marriage a such a big word.
A good marriage requires effort to improve, without effort, a marriage declines. If we don’t add energy, disorder increases, gardens grow weeds, building rundown and crumble. Without work, a couple cannot progress.
When a marriage isn’t working, couples often don’t know how what went wrong – or how to fix the situation on their own. When you can’t identify the problem, it consequently becomes difficult to have a healthy marriage.
In these situations, a professional - counselling can help both parties identify problem areas and work through solutions.
Jeannexoxo
New Member
I do think that we are a perfect match, unlike others we make things work together in a relationship.
Having said so, I still think we are not ready for marriage, or I just need a leap of faith?
Having said so, I still think we are not ready for marriage, or I just need a leap of faith?
Jeannexoxo
New Member
Well maybe cos some fortune teller tells me that my bf has a high divorce rate, and my family line are all divorce.
So why get married when is going to divorce?
So why get married when is going to divorce?
lemonzil
Member
Jeannexoxo, are you serious?
do u really believe it? is it even logical?
if you are worried, then go for marriage preparation course with him. get urselves to understand marriage life better.
honestly, no one can tell you how will your marriage end up.
if you alrdy think that divorce will come after marriage even before you say 'I Do', then yes, why get married and why continue dating?
change a partner then. see what that fortune teller says?
you know what i mean?
do u really believe it? is it even logical?
if you are worried, then go for marriage preparation course with him. get urselves to understand marriage life better.
honestly, no one can tell you how will your marriage end up.
if you alrdy think that divorce will come after marriage even before you say 'I Do', then yes, why get married and why continue dating?
change a partner then. see what that fortune teller says?
you know what i mean?
chellchell
New Member
Is not that im not superstitious, but why are you listening to the fortune teller for everything he said? A marriage doesnt just lies with the fortune teller but the couple itself. Both my htb and myself are from a broken family and fortune teller and my mom said our age not good to be together. But it doesnt stop me from marrying him and what I did is at least choose an auspicious date to get married. I believed things will change if we have faith. Must have faith in yourself, your HTB, the relationship. If you dont even have faith, if you ever doubt I rather you dont get married, cause then it will be a real sad case.
Hope you are able to think carefully.
Jeannexoxo
New Member
true enough... If I didnt get to know it than its okie... now I know from the dam fortune teller somehow it does affect me. But true enough I think I just don have the courage to step into the committed zone.
chellchell
New Member
I think you have an answer in your mind and heart, its just you dont know how to face or solve it. For that, we cant help..you gotta know it, face it and solve it. All the best to you
sharingNcaring101
New Member
Perhaps we have an unrealistic idea of what it means to be the 'right' person.
Selecting a marriage partner should not be a process of finding the right person. No one is perfect and no one is perfectly suited to someone else.
If you try to find the right person, then you have to make sure he/she stays the right person. Your focus is all on your partner and whether he is behaving according to your standards. That perspective is self-centred and not love-centred.
We need to recognise that people have different personality patterns and some work more easily than others. Before going into marriage, we need to carefully assess the two personalities involved and the way the two partners will meet each other's needs. We do not do this to be sure of marrying the right person. We do it in order to be sure our own motives are healthy and our expectations are realistic.
One of the main why marriages fail is communication break down. A friend joke/shared with me when he attended a marriage preparation course, the counsellor said "Women are always right; Men are never wrong". See where the breaking down begin???
As others have said, you need to make your own decision because you truly love him and not allow others to influence you. And how would he feels... I propose to marry you because my neighbour medium said so???
Marriage is and should ultimately be a symbol of ones love for another person, a token that you want to be with that person for the rest of your life, however, nobody knows how they might feel in the future or how their feelings for another may change over time. Signing yourself to a contract seems an absurd way to say I love you, and a very expensive way to break up. Maybe before you plan for marriage, invest your marriage by attending some marriage preparation course. I attended some many years ago, the marriage prep course for two months (8 sessions) the fees were not cheap... However, there are many such courses available here if google it. Also, churches do offer free marriage preparation course but usually you must be the member of that church. I know a friend got free marriage preparation course when he used the search engines in the Internet.
PM me if you need help.
Selecting a marriage partner should not be a process of finding the right person. No one is perfect and no one is perfectly suited to someone else.
If you try to find the right person, then you have to make sure he/she stays the right person. Your focus is all on your partner and whether he is behaving according to your standards. That perspective is self-centred and not love-centred.
We need to recognise that people have different personality patterns and some work more easily than others. Before going into marriage, we need to carefully assess the two personalities involved and the way the two partners will meet each other's needs. We do not do this to be sure of marrying the right person. We do it in order to be sure our own motives are healthy and our expectations are realistic.
One of the main why marriages fail is communication break down. A friend joke/shared with me when he attended a marriage preparation course, the counsellor said "Women are always right; Men are never wrong". See where the breaking down begin???
As others have said, you need to make your own decision because you truly love him and not allow others to influence you. And how would he feels... I propose to marry you because my neighbour medium said so???
Marriage is and should ultimately be a symbol of ones love for another person, a token that you want to be with that person for the rest of your life, however, nobody knows how they might feel in the future or how their feelings for another may change over time. Signing yourself to a contract seems an absurd way to say I love you, and a very expensive way to break up. Maybe before you plan for marriage, invest your marriage by attending some marriage preparation course. I attended some many years ago, the marriage prep course for two months (8 sessions) the fees were not cheap... However, there are many such courses available here if google it. Also, churches do offer free marriage preparation course but usually you must be the member of that church. I know a friend got free marriage preparation course when he used the search engines in the Internet.
PM me if you need help.
rabber
Member
I agree with you! We are too focused on the "right one", the "soul mate" and I don't even know if he is my soul mate. But I do know I love him enough and our temperament matches enough for me to want to build a family with him.
If a fortune teller can hold you back, it says a lot bout your readiness. Give yourself more time before stepping into it.
If a fortune teller can hold you back, it says a lot bout your readiness. Give yourself more time before stepping into it.
Chemicalbooze
New Member
I guess a fortune teller based your future on your past..like past lives perhaps.. 
30am What you do from now should help increase success of the relationship..I think.. We can change our past.. So decide if you want this to work and if both of you want it bad enough.. I suppose things would work out... Takes lots gives and takes..an irregular dance this is... Not much point in consulting someone to read your future unless it's good news and helps reinforce the relationship.. Haha.. Paying someone to tell you bad news which hasn't happened yet seems such a bad idea.. Lol
30am What you do from now should help increase success of the relationship..I think.. We can change our past.. So decide if you want this to work and if both of you want it bad enough.. I suppose things would work out... Takes lots gives and takes..an irregular dance this is... Not much point in consulting someone to read your future unless it's good news and helps reinforce the relationship.. Haha.. Paying someone to tell you bad news which hasn't happened yet seems such a bad idea.. Lol
meimei1601
Member
If you have doubt about marriage, maybe you are not ready into one, but if you decide to have I would suggest both to go thru the course on preparing yourself into a marriage life. No one know what marriage life is all about, when we are single all the way, but marriage require both hard work to make it thru. sometime love is not enough.
Marriage is a journey not a destination.
Dont let those crazy stuffs to decide your life with... When u have a family history of divorce doesnt mean you need to be in one. When everyone tells you he is the perfect man to married that also doesnt mean he is one. Both of you should talk.. in the long run of relationship, do u two communicate? do you all share whats in life, does 2 of you treasure and cherish each other? when picturing future, is he one of them in it?
Actually marriage is pretty simple... love each other, cherish each other, respect each other, work hard together... no need to make it so complicated. It is complicated when one thinks too much and bring in fantasy and fairy tales.
Marriage is a journey not a destination.
Dont let those crazy stuffs to decide your life with... When u have a family history of divorce doesnt mean you need to be in one. When everyone tells you he is the perfect man to married that also doesnt mean he is one. Both of you should talk.. in the long run of relationship, do u two communicate? do you all share whats in life, does 2 of you treasure and cherish each other? when picturing future, is he one of them in it?
Actually marriage is pretty simple... love each other, cherish each other, respect each other, work hard together... no need to make it so complicated. It is complicated when one thinks too much and bring in fantasy and fairy tales.
miloice
Well-Known Member
Disappointments from individual expectations and lack of communication are common problems in a marriage. The natural reaction many have to differences is to keep quiet and try to come up with their own reasons to explain or justify it. Often, the truth is quite different from the self explored theories. The more we align, explore and communicate about it, the more we get to understand each other. From there, it either exposes how different and incompatible the couple is or how they can learn to deal with it. The more we leave to guesses and our own interpretations, the more grudges and negativity will build. Communicating and understanding each other is important, even if it means having conflicts and realizing how difficult it really is for them. If the couple do break, at least they break because they know clearly it isn't working, not because of all the resentments bottled up with years of negative perception of each other.
