Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

February 2026

Everything you need to know before making a speech at someone’s wedding

By Elizabeth Chee

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Being tasked to make a wedding speech is a high privilege and honour—here’s a foolproof guide to delivering one that’s refined, family-appropriate and well-remembered.

The rundown of events at a wedding might differ between each couple’s celebrations, but certain elements are indispensable. One such mainstay that makes appearances not just once, but multiple times throughout the day? Wedding speeches—commonly made by chosen guests such as parents, family members, treasured friends, or those in the wedding party. Often delivered with wit, humour and nostalgic storytelling, the wedding speech serves as an essential form of personalised, emotionally-resonant wedding entertainment that tends to leave a sentimental mark on more than just the bride and groom.

That being said, there’s also plenty of room for a wedding speech to go awry, evoking awkward silences and side-eyes instead. Common but forgivable mistakes include drawling on for an unnecessary amount of time or cracking an inside joke that’s relevant to no one but the newlyweds. Others might take things a little too far with their tongues, offering unsolicited, negative relationship advice, mentioning exes, or bringing up inappropriate stories—all of which are only effective in setting an uncomfortable mood for the rest of the reception. While any esteemed speech-giver would want their words to leave a lasting imprint in everyone’s minds, it’s crucial to ensure that that isn’t accomplished through the wrong reasons, and following a few simple guidelines can successfully safeguard against this.

Here, we compile everything you need to take note of if you’re tasked with making a speech at a wedding, so your toast doesn’t leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth.

1. KEEP DRINKING TO A MINIMUM BEFORE THE SPEECH

Having a tipple or two for some liquid courage is acceptable, but showing up all slurry and smashed in front of the mic is, simply put, not cool. Over-drinking blurs judgment and loosens filters—and that only means trouble for a wedding speech, a sacred moment that’s likely going to be filmed for social media and remembered long after the wedding day. Chugging down alcohol in hopes of newfound confidence quickly spirals into rambling, meaningless stories, oversharing or emotional outbursts that derail the tone of the celebrations. Practicing before and having notes on hand is a far more reliable way to settle the speech-induced nervousness, and one is free to celebrate with as many drinks as the heart desires after the task is complete.

2. WATCH THE CLOCK

The age-old expression “short and sweet” applies heavily to wedding speeches. Parents should max their speech out at ten minutes, while anyone else should aim to keep it under five. There’s no need to retell origin stories, list every shared memory from kindergarten to adulthood or repeat the same sentiment in different words. Additionally, droning on to the point of testing everyone’s patience and disrupting the flow of events will likely come across as disrespectful and self-absorbed. The best and most meaningful wedding speeches are concise, intentional, and allow guests to enjoy their dinner while it’s still warm.

3. ADDRESS THE WEDDING PARTY RESPECTFULLY

Anyone who references the wedding party in a speech should note that it’s important to do so with intention and respect. After all their efforts assisting in the wedding planning journey, it’s only pleasant to give them an honourable mention. But a passing remark about how “everyone looks amazing” might as well not be said at all—instead, acknowledge the valuable friendships between the wedding party and the groom or bride, the years of laughter and loyalty, and the unseen emotional support provided behind-the-scenes.

4. KEEP PERSONALISATIONS CLASSY

It’s tempting to flaunt the unique relationship one has with the couple, bride or groom in the speech. If done right, it can be both an entertaining and emotional way for other guests to get to know the couple from the speech-giver’s perspective. However, it’s important to steer clear of crude language, inside jokes that make everyone else feel left out or inappropriate tales best contained within the bachelor party or hen’s night. There are plenty other topics one could cover in the speech that demonstrates one’s love for the newlyweds. For example, sharing a relevant story that reflects the qualities one loves the most about them, or recalling the first time one met the bride or groom’s partner. At the end of the day, anecdotes should only add value to character rather than chaos.

5. IGNORE THE EXISTENCE OF EXES

It hardly matters how hilarious the story might be—past situationships, dates or relationships should never be brought up in a wedding speech. The special day is meant to commemorate the future life the couple is building together, and not the earlier drafts that didn’t work out. Even a light-hearted one-liner without any ill intention can create unnecessary comparisons between the current relationship and those that came before it, which inevitably causes discomfort not just for the couple, but also parents, in-laws and other guests. Always keep in mind that the day should be forward-facing—a celebration of love and a partnership that endures—and any wedding speech should fit nicely into that narrative.

6. DON’T REDUCE THE MARRIAGE TO A WARNING

There’s a tendency for those who have gone through married life to dish out their two cents’ worth of relationship advice whenever presented with the opportunity. But there’s a fine line between wise words of encouragement and phrases that position marriage as a burden or trial to survive. Comments like “Say goodbye to your freedom,” or “Good luck, she’s all yours now,” are often normalised and thrown around, but can do more harm than good as they reinforce apprehension instead of joy and hope for the future. And when such lines come from even the father-of-the-bride, it riskily borders on misogynistic territory, promoting outdated beliefs of daughters being seen as a “responsibility” to be handed over. Instead of implying that a husband must brace himself for what’s ahead, share what strengthens relationships instead of what has tested it—such as patience, mutual respect, and choosing each other daily.

7. DON’T FORGET TO MENTION EITHER OF THE NEWLYWEDS

Most of the time, the person giving a speech might only be closely associated with one half of the newly-wedded couple. While it might feel natural to centre the speech around the partner one is well-acquainted with, it’d be rude not to mention their new spouse at all. The 70-30 rule is a practical one to follow, where 70% of the speech focuses on one’s personal relationship with the half they knew the longest, and the remaining 30% acknowledges the new partner. Think: commending any admirable traits that they might have, qualities they bring to the table, how they complement the other, or your well-wishes for their future. In doing so, one signals unity, honours the pair and welcomes the new partner into their circle.

8. END WITH A TOAST

Starting the speech off strongly only wins half the battle. Conclude the speech on a high note by raising a glass and toasting to the couple of the hour and their blissful future.

Credits: Featured image from Rebecca and Kin’s Stunning Colonial-Style Wedding at AYANA Resort Bali by Terralogical

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