Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

January 2012

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Here’s a statistic: 52 per cent of newlywed couples don’t have sex on their wedding night. Blame it on wedding day stress or well-meaning friends who forced alcohol down your throats. Adora asks a few couples how they kept their special night, special.

The last sip of wine has been drunk, the last guest has bid you farewell. Clasping palms with your officially wedded partner, you make your way to your honeymoon suite. Depending on the number of yam-sengs you were put through, you are either stumbling or are calm and steady as the thought of the big S word plays around in your head. Yes, in your head, it is perfect. Your knight in shining armour whisks you off in his arms and gallantly kicks the French doors open to reveal a magical candlelit room and an inviting bed covered in rose petals, your lips locked in throngs of passion. In your mind, you may not even make it that far, and give in to your, uh, urges, as soon as you step into the room.

In your mind, you must have played the scene of your wedding night a million times. But in reality, you can’t deny that it is going to be the end of a very big and extremely tiring day. And there will probably be over zealous guests who, for some reason, will insist on getting either or both of you very very drunk. My husband still has very fond memories of our wedding night. Ah yes, me in my wedding gown with my head glamourously over the toilet bowl as he held my hair away from my projectile vomit, no thanks to a few table top dances we had to do and suspicious-looking drinks we had to drink (how I managed to do that in a tight kebaya and heels, I’ll never know). You can avoid situations like that, and we speak to four been-there-done-that brides to find out how:

PLAN IN ADVANCE

Lynn Ng, 32, a self-confessed “List Girl”, planned every item of her wedding to the minute. She made sure her husband was aware that there was going to be some action in the honeymoon suite at the end of the evening, and the only reason to call it off would be if he had too much to drink. “He explained good-naturedly to well-meaning guests that he needed to be sober for the ‘post-wedding private party’ and kept his Best Man close to him all evening to ward off all alcohol-bearing guests!”

BE PRACTICAL

Marketing Manager Jacklyn Quek, 33, knew that her colleagues would never give up an opportunity to douse the bridal couple in alcohol. So they planned to consummate their marriage before the actual dinner. “Why not? We had lots of time to rest after the tea ceremony and before the dinner. Plus, we were already officially married. And the best part? I had a wonderful glow about me all evening, and we both slept so well straight after the dinner!”

THE MORNING AFTER

“Honey, Have You Seen My Sex Drive?” is a game people play when they’re overly tired. Project Manager Tee Wei Ling, 36, and her husband, recognised that. They wisely decided to sleep off all the tiredness and attack the task at hand the following morning instead. “We slept well in each others’ arms that night and the next morning we were fresh and fully rested with all the wedding stress behind us. We couldn’t help but giggle throughout breakfast.”

JUST DO IT

Childhood sweethearts 29 year-old Marilyn Liew and Jonathan Tan are a go-with-the-flow kind of couple and felt it would be awkward to plan for something that’s meant to be spontaneous. “We decided to just let things be and stole subtle little moments whenever we could, like in the lift or when we knew no one was watching. They were a great preview of what we were to expect at the end of the night. We didn’t make it till then, and had a little quickie during the time we were given to change into our other outfits, just after the third course!”

Think about it – You probably spent the last few months meticulously planning everything to the most minute of details but the last item on your spreadsheet ends at 2300 hours, when the dinner has ended, and you can finally breathe a huge sigh of relief and let your mind have the break that it deserves. Why not stretch the spreadsheet just little more to include plans for the horizontal mambo, to ensure that you both remember that it’s on the cards?

Worried about it not being spontaneous? Well, don’t list the things that you must do in missionary military fashion. Simply note it down as a reminder, and as something to look forward to. Um, you may want to put use a code word for it, in case your spreadsheet gets sent to your bridal party. That’s one item that should only have your name under the “Action by” column.