Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
Real-Life Wedding Night Confessions
Here’s an unsettling fact: More than half of the bridal couples don’t have sex on their wedding night. But it’s not hard to see why. After the mayhem of wedding planning hell, it’s likely that you and your groom are exhausted, drunk… and downright passionless. SingaporeBrides cajoles 10 blushing brides to share what went on behind closed doors on what should be the most romantic night of their lives.
We counted angbaos
“My 20-table banquet dinner was a chaotic, noisy affair. Both sets of our parents had invited many of their staff, colleagues and business associates. They also went out of control by inviting distant relatives as well! So, we were quite stressed out over the final bill, which we later split into four credit cards (to enjoy a promotional discount). By the time the yam sengs were over and we had the wedding suite to ourselves, all we wanted to do was to flop onto the bed and… count our angbaos to check if they are enough to cover our huge banquet bill. Romance? What romance? We only managed to get some peaceful shuteye after we counted a slight profit!” – Geraldine*, 27, personal financial consultant
He was downright drunk
“He was dead drunk by the end of the banquet, no thanks to his boisterous groomsmen. So when they finally had enough, he staggered back to the hotel room reeking of alcohol. All I remember was wiping my new husband down with a damp towel, putting him in a t-shirt and shorts, and tucking him into bed. As he snored away, I was sorting out the wedding presents and packing everything neatly for our early-morning check out the next day. But I honestly didn’t mind – I was tired too!” – Melanie*, 27, civil servant
I broke out in rashes
“I’ve always had eczema. If I’m stressed or ate something wrong, I would break out in red, itchy rashes. It happened to me on my wedding night. I guess all that hectic planning while juggling a full-time job in the media did me in. Needless to say, we didn’t have sex that night. Instead, he helped me apply medicated cream on my body. That was about as exciting as it got!” – Linda*, 29, media officer
First-time sex wasn’t so great
“My husband and I saved ourselves for marriage so we were eager to get it on in bed on our wedding night – no matter how tired we were. We even made a pact to excuse ourselves as early as we could. And when we got into the wedding suite, we did the expected. We snuggled in bed with our champagne glasses and kissed. Then we showered together and I changed into my sexiest lingerie that I especially bought for the night. But the eventual session was a little lackluster, to be honest. We only did it in the missionary position and he came fairly quickly. More bedroom practice is needed!” – Joanna*, 26, IT consultant
We recorded angbao amounts on Excel
“Even as we snuggled on the hotel bed on our wedding night, our minds were not on sex. We were actually wondering whether the angbao money we received were enough to cover the banquet bill. In the end, he took out his laptop, launched an Excel spreadsheet and we spent much of the night together recording how much we received from each family member, relative, friend and colleague! It was not until we left for the honeymoon that we could finally relax. In fact, we ditched our holiday plans on the first day and just stayed in the resort for a sex marathon in bed!” – Kayla*, 30, business consultant
Caught in the act by the chambermaid
“Like many other just-married couples, we dozed off the minute we showered and changed. But the next morning was a different matter – we were having such an amazing time in bed that we didn’t even hear the chambermaid ringing the bell. Since we didn’t put a Do-Not-Disturb sign or latch the door, the chambermaid assumed we were out. She then let herself in to witness… our hello-sunshine romp in the bed! We didn’t even notice her standing there until she let out an embarrassed gasp before fleeing the room. The last thing we heard was a “Sorry!” before the door was slammed shut. By then, we were so mortified that we decided to skip the hotel breakfast and check out earlier than we intended!” – Jamie*, 32, recruitment consultant
We packed instead of having sex
“We had to set off for our Japan honeymoon on a 6.30am flight the next day, so we were in no mood for sex. Instead, we hurried back to our hotel room, packed everything in suitcases and did some last-minute itinerary planning before crashing. We made up for it during the honeymoon though!” – Marie*, 25, online boutique owner
More hungry than horny
“We were so busy during the banquet that we rarely got a chance to nibble at our food. He had to attend to the guests, while I changed into three different evening gowns! By the time everything ended at midnight, we were ravenous. All we could think of when we got back to the wedding suite was food. We quickly ordered room service and ate to our heart’s content while watching a movie on HBO. And then, we crashed.” – Beatrice*, 33, marketing manager
We just soaked in the tub together
“We had our Chinese customary wedding on the same day as the banquet. So we got up really early in the morning. After the excitement and fuss of our Big Day, I had been in my high heels for more than 12 hours! My feet were killing me so my husband suggested that I soak in the tub. He prepared the bath for me, and even sprinkled bath salts and rose petals. Later, he showered and got in the tub too. But we were too exhausted to get naughty – all the ‘oohs and ahhs’ came because we felt so relaxed in the hot water!” – Wendy*, 29, purchasing officer
I fell sick with flu
“I was so stressed and tired out by the wedding planning that by the time everything was over, I could feel a fever coming on. My husband was really understanding and did all he could to help me feel better. He helped me get out of my evening gown, ordered hot tea and porridge to be delivered to our wedding suite. Then, he fed me some painkillers tucked me into bed and went on to pack our wedding gifts, sort out our rented gowns and tuxedo to be returned to the bridal boutique before settling down to sleep. We didn’t have sex obviously, but does it matter when I could feel his love for me?” – Jessica*, 28, civil servant
*Not their real names.
Sex it up!
Let’s face it: Angbao-counting is not part of foreplay. Esta Giam, wedding consultant at Truly Harmony, lists five good tips for a more memorable wedding night.
1. Take a time-out: Yes, we are suggesting that you institute a no-sex rule in the two-week period leading up to your Big Day. Don’t groan just yet – you will be spending more time with the wedding planning anyway. “Going without sex will actually make you want each other more,” says Esta. “And with that, sparks are more likely to fly on the wedding night.”
2. Flirt like young lovers: Never mind if you have been dating since secondary school. On your wedding day, don’t forget to take flirting up a notch. This means taking the time to meet each other’s gaze (even as you’re busy attending to guests), touching each other and stealing kisses whenever you can. “As you do so, you are building up anticipation for what is going to happen later at night,” explains Esta.
3. Set the mood: Work the romance a little more with scented candles, rose petals and sensual music. After all, scents are known to stimulate and arouse memories, emotions and moods. Esta adds: “We had a couple who requested to add candles and floral decorations to the wedding suite to jazz up the mood. We also filled the bathtub with hot water and rose petals just before they returned to the room – by the time they unwind with champagne and chocolates, the water temperature would be just right for a romantic soak!”
4. Say “I love you”: Now that you’re finally together in the hotel room, spend some time relaxing in each other’s arms. “Laugh about the wedding (like how Aunt Jo can’t stop dancing with Uncle Tan), and talk about your love and commitment for each other. As you do so, things may get romantic!” says Esta.
5. Delay the honeymoon: As with all things in life, don’t try to accomplish too much if you have too little time. “Consider planning your set-off date for your honeymoon a day after your wedding,” advises Esta. “This will give you ample time to rest… and work the bedroom magic after the hectic wedding day.”