Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
Shake Off Those Wedding Jitters!
Wedding jitters, cold feet, “the nerves”. Whatever you want to call it, “it” does occur in most wedding couples. Even in those who have dated for a long time, and those who are sure they have found “the one”. We speak to 5 couples who are recently married or planning to tie the knot, and find out their greatest wedding fears, and how to overcome them.
SOPHIE LEE, 25, MARKETING EXECUTIVE AND LIN DAOKUAN, 27, AUDITOR
“We will have three wedding ceremonies! – A church wedding in Vatican City, and two traditional Chinese banquet dinners, in Singapore and Malaysia respectively. I worry about missing out on something during the planning process!”
Putting together one wedding ceremony is enough to drive anyone insane. Planning three will require a great deal of organisation. Have a very thorough checklist and delegate wherever possible. Have someone you trust, like a good friend or sister (preferably someone meticulous), as your Maid of Honour who can remind you of the things to do. She should be up-to-date with all the details so that you can relax, knowing she can be trusted to run the show smoothly.
SHARON LOW, 32, ADMIN OFFICER AND TERRY TAN, 31, SERVICE ENGINEER
“We’re worried about the conflict of religions and the respective religious customs to be performed on the wedding day. I am a Christ-believer, my hubby is a free-thinker and my parents are Buddhists.”
It can get a little tricky when different religions are involved; you have probably already discovered that when you started dating. Before you have a chat with both sets of parents to find out what is absolutely necessary to do, and what they are able to let slide, you have to discuss, as a couple, how you envision your day to be. Incorporating both religions can result in a beautiful and interesting ceremony. So take it a step at a time, and remember that a marriage is built on a lot of give and take, and a wedding is an excellent place to start!
JOSEPHINE YANG, 26, BANK EXECUTIVE, AND VINCENT PANG, 27, PROJECT ANALYST
“I worry about everything! I definitely hope there will not be any major screw up on the big day, like crashing champagne glasses or tripping on my wedding gown!”
Does that sound like you? If you said ‘yes’, do not worry. Anxiety is part and parcel of the whole planning process. Offload some responsibilities! Go through the possible “accidents” that may crop up during your ceremony, and empower your Best Man and Maid of Honour with decision-making. Introduce your F&B Manager to your Best Man so he’ll know who to check with when the beer runs low and let your florist know to contact your Maid of Honour for placements of floral arrangements.
Oh, and do practice marching down the aisle with your wedding gown beforehand so you know which areas are tricky, and your husband-to-be knows not to step on your gown.
ELISA THAM, 34, PROGRAMME PLANNER, AND RON DE SOUZA, 37, ENTREPRENEUR
“Elisa’s already been through the whole fanfare, but I’d really like to have a decent wedding. We love each other, we’re getting married and I don’t want it to be a secret just because one of us has been divorced! ”
When one party has already walked down the aisle once, there is no definite ruling as to whether the wedding should be toned down or not. Certainly no wedding should be a hush-hush occasion. However, some family members may feel embarrassed to attend a grand second wedding. A small wedding with close friends and family can be a very meaningful experience without compromising on the significance and importance of the event.
If there are children from a previous marriage, they should be included from the wedding planning process, so that they feel part of the new family. Little kids can be flower girls and page boys. Give older kids responsibilities; allow them to be ushers, to take care of the reception counter, or to keep the younger kids entertained. The more involved they are, the less likely they are to feel resentful about the wedding and marriage.
SARA YAP, 29, ASSISTANT MANAGER, AND MELVIN TAN, 30, ENGINEER
“Mel and I are childhood sweethearts and have already been accepted into each other’s families. We want everyone to have a good time at our beach wedding in Bali, but we worry about it being seen as yet another big family gathering, and not an ‘official’ ceremony.”
Kudos to couples who plan unconventional wedding ceremonies! A small relaxed beach wedding with close friends and family members who are familiar and comfortable with each other – it can’t get better than that, and it sure beats having bored guests playing on their iPhones hands down!
Involve everyone in the ceremony to add more of a wedding air. Ask them to contribute wedding advice and stories of you as a dating couple, and if you don’t mind sharing the limelight, invite couples to renew their vows. Having people reaffirm their love for each other at your wedding makes the day all the more special and filled with love.
Your wedding is one of the biggest days of your life; it is natural that you will be nervous about the day’s events. But when the going gets tough, just take a deep breath and remember that the wedding marks the end of a period of planning. At the end of the day, you will begin your new life with the love of your life, and that’s what truly matters.