Singaporebrides | The Groom Room

December 2010

It’s In The Execution

There are many things in life you can re-do: restarting a level of a game you failed at, re-reading a book you lost the plot of, re-applying for another flat in Punggol after being unsuccessful the first time. But once you get down on your knees to propose to your future wife, there is no reset button.

For some women, there are four days in their lives that mean more to them than anything else – the day their son or daughter marries, the day their first child is born, their wedding day, and the day the men of their lives propose. The stakes are really great here. The story of how you proposed will most likely be told and re-told to anyone who asks and announced on all forms of social media. Feel the pressure yet?

Seriously though, men tend to over-think these things. When a woman decides to spend the rest of her life with a person, there is no need to use fussy theatrics to win her favour. However, there’s no harm in making her the happiest woman in the world for that one moment. Having said that, the best laid plans of mice and men may still go awry, so here are some things you can look out for when you pop the question.

1. Is the time right?

To avoid absolute failure and disappointment, and even embarrassment, don’t ask the question unless you’re 90% sure of the answer. If, at this point in time, you’re still fidgety about whether she will say yes, then maybe the both of you are not ready. This is the best time to consider your relationship. It should always feel right.

2. Surprise her.

You may already have discussed your relationship with her or have made plans for the future (such as applying for a flat), but that doesn’t mean you can get away with not proposing. Go buy an engagement ring, if you haven’t already, and let her know just how much she means to you. No woman would say she has heard enough of that.

3. Involving a crowd.

Unless you are absolutely sure, and know that she would enjoy it, try not to involve more than her close family and friends in your proposal plans. It could lead to a very humiliating experience for the both of you, or lead her to say “yes” because of the pressure she is under. Whatever the case is, think over it very carefully before making a very public proposal. Remember, there’s no reset button.

4. Practice your knee bends.

Getting down on one knee is never a cliché. No self-respecting girl will tell you this, but being proposed to by her man on one bended knee is a dream come true. Moreover, her friends can be vicious, and “Did he get down on one knee?!” will be the first reaction to her engagement announcement. Let her answer be the right one. It will put you in a very good light too.

5. Actually have an engagement ring

No matter that she has already said “yes” to your impromptu proposal with a can tab. No matter that you’ve drawn a very pretty ring around her finger with a black marker. Do it properly the second time with a proper ring. Look into her eyes and don’t even look away for a second nervously, because like poker, it could give your intentions away. Practice into the mirror or with your pet dog if you must. Your confidence will prevent any awkward moment.

Despite the various advice the experienced may give you, there is only one that matters: relax. This is the woman you have already been spending your life with. As long as you have a plan, an engagement ring, and lots of practice, you’re well covered. Remember to bask in the intimate moment shared between the both of you after she has said “yes”. This moment is unique only to the both of you. This is the calm before the storm. Savour it.

Good luck!