Will you still be on the offensive if he/she have got a SO ?
- Thread starter cherielim
- Start date
Hey "life saviour" was just talking about you in another thread... U seem to be online 24/7
If u proceed with the advance, then him/her will have to breakup with the current SO to be with you.
Then your SO will also become "an Axxhole" for breaking off to be with another person.. Will it be in the best of your interest to cause this to happen ?
If u proceed with the advance, then him/her will have to breakup with the current SO to be with you.
Then your SO will also become "an Axxhole" for breaking off to be with another person.. Will it be in the best of your interest to cause this to happen ?
miloice
Well-Known Member
Cherie, why break up mean being an ass meh?
Everyone have the right to pursue their happiness. If she is not happy with this man and want to pursue happiness elsewhere, does that make her the villian? The need to find something or one to blame is actually really childish. Both are adults, should handle relationships more sensibly mah.
For sure, there will be hurt. But, not suitable, means not suitable. Relationships cannot force one. It takes 2 to tango.
Everyone have the right to pursue their happiness. If she is not happy with this man and want to pursue happiness elsewhere, does that make her the villian? The need to find something or one to blame is actually really childish. Both are adults, should handle relationships more sensibly mah.
For sure, there will be hurt. But, not suitable, means not suitable. Relationships cannot force one. It takes 2 to tango.
xiao_nu_ren
New Member
Well.... Milo, I often respect you for your wise advice. On this thread, somehow do feel... hmm... Maybe you have your reason why.
Cherie,
What I felt is... if that person is willing to break up with his current SO just cos of new temptations and interest into his life.... Will that make it possible he'll do it again, should another one 'more compatible' to come along, and history shall repeat itself?
Think of how it'll feel in the SO's shoes... For the world is round. What goes around, comes around. I am sounding damn proper here. For... Why hurt when you know you can prevent hurt from occurring?
Cherie,
What I felt is... if that person is willing to break up with his current SO just cos of new temptations and interest into his life.... Will that make it possible he'll do it again, should another one 'more compatible' to come along, and history shall repeat itself?
Think of how it'll feel in the SO's shoes... For the world is round. What goes around, comes around. I am sounding damn proper here. For... Why hurt when you know you can prevent hurt from occurring?
miloice
Well-Known Member
Chilli,
there is a difference between breaking up with over new temptations and getting out of an unhappy relationship and pursuing it with someone that they really want to be with. Which is why I pointed out in my reply that it should be for the interest of the person and not selfish reasons.
Hope you see the difference there. There is no generic answers. Some hurts can be prevented but not all can be. We make tough decisions in life and not lazily stick to standard conventions and protocols to decide what should we do. Often, these morally correct answers do more harm than good. A good person isn't one that sticks to moral values like a rule but one that truly value the meaning of these values.
Its application is never so straight forward. In the same way, a divorce is always seen in the bad light. But, it could be something good eventually for the both of them. This is despite the pain and hurts involved. Nothing in life is sweet and rosy. Just because of the hurts, one cannot just assume that its bad.
there is a difference between breaking up with over new temptations and getting out of an unhappy relationship and pursuing it with someone that they really want to be with. Which is why I pointed out in my reply that it should be for the interest of the person and not selfish reasons.
Hope you see the difference there. There is no generic answers. Some hurts can be prevented but not all can be. We make tough decisions in life and not lazily stick to standard conventions and protocols to decide what should we do. Often, these morally correct answers do more harm than good. A good person isn't one that sticks to moral values like a rule but one that truly value the meaning of these values.
Its application is never so straight forward. In the same way, a divorce is always seen in the bad light. But, it could be something good eventually for the both of them. This is despite the pain and hurts involved. Nothing in life is sweet and rosy. Just because of the hurts, one cannot just assume that its bad.
The main thing is not the action but the underlying reason for it.
Attemping to break up a couple just because you want a gf/bf to have sex is really an axxhole. But if you know that her bf is abusive and every now and then you see bruise all over her body and you really want to give her happiness, everyone will be cheering for you to be that 'axxhole'.
Attemping to break up a couple just because you want a gf/bf to have sex is really an axxhole. But if you know that her bf is abusive and every now and then you see bruise all over her body and you really want to give her happiness, everyone will be cheering for you to be that 'axxhole'.
this is Exactly why women chope hawker centre seats with tissues. this whole concept of first-come first-served...
that's why some idiots wait all their lives to get a promotion or become a manager.
that's why u have threads asking why until today no bfren.
that's why u have idiots who think with their academics - they deserve a better life and high salary.
the reason why u get something is becos u want it, and u went for it. not becos someone offer it to u...
u try meeting your dream guy who happens to be attached/married, and u wait for him to breakup or be divorced... good luck to u.
and pple wonder why their life sucks...
the reason is in this very mentality. all these right and wrong not even within self... more worried abt how pple look at them.
enjoy your singlehood with tissue papers... when u die on your deathbed, u can be proud of your tissue paper... i will be proud that i made my dreamgirl my wife, raised a family and had a wonderful fulfilling life with her...
enjoy the wait...
that's why some idiots wait all their lives to get a promotion or become a manager.
that's why u have threads asking why until today no bfren.
that's why u have idiots who think with their academics - they deserve a better life and high salary.
the reason why u get something is becos u want it, and u went for it. not becos someone offer it to u...
u try meeting your dream guy who happens to be attached/married, and u wait for him to breakup or be divorced... good luck to u.
and pple wonder why their life sucks...
the reason is in this very mentality. all these right and wrong not even within self... more worried abt how pple look at them.
enjoy your singlehood with tissue papers... when u die on your deathbed, u can be proud of your tissue paper... i will be proud that i made my dreamgirl my wife, raised a family and had a wonderful fulfilling life with her...
enjoy the wait...
My POV is there is "no right and no wrong" and depends on the circumstances.
If the couple is in love. Move on and give them my blessings.
If the couple is not in love.. Then it is not wrong then to make the advances.
On the other hand, happiness also needs to be fight for (like what powder said). So if the couple is not in love then can fight for your own happiness to pursue the other party.
If the couple is in love. Move on and give them my blessings.
If the couple is not in love.. Then it is not wrong then to make the advances.
On the other hand, happiness also needs to be fight for (like what powder said). So if the couple is not in love then can fight for your own happiness to pursue the other party.
I wait for people to 'snatch' me away loh. Haha.
On a serious note, I might if we are madly in love with each other. If he possesses so much qualities that I want him SO bad regardless of the consequences, then chances are he's the one.
However, if he's married with kids and all that, I don't think so lah. I would feel very guilty, unless he's divorced. For me to go to this extent, this guy must be really SPECIAL loh.
On a serious note, I might if we are madly in love with each other. If he possesses so much qualities that I want him SO bad regardless of the consequences, then chances are he's the one.
However, if he's married with kids and all that, I don't think so lah. I would feel very guilty, unless he's divorced. For me to go to this extent, this guy must be really SPECIAL loh.
jefferson_edison
New Member
what is "SO" ?
The problem is - how do you know if people really have don't love one another?
I mean, if it is clear-cut case of abuse or unhappiness.. then easy.
Many a times, things are not so simple. Human relationships are complex. We can't tell even if it is for selfish reasons or for the love.. mostly it is a mixed reaction.
But when it comes to love, there is no "wrong" in pursuing what you want.. but take note, if your pursuing is been reciprocated or it is one-directional..
I mean, if it is clear-cut case of abuse or unhappiness.. then easy.
Many a times, things are not so simple. Human relationships are complex. We can't tell even if it is for selfish reasons or for the love.. mostly it is a mixed reaction.
But when it comes to love, there is no "wrong" in pursuing what you want.. but take note, if your pursuing is been reciprocated or it is one-directional..
Well, if i know the person I like has another SO, then I probably wont make advances. The most I will do is to be his friend and be with him when he "needs me most".
If there are really instances that he needs me more than his SO, then I guess I am just doing all three parties good... haha...
If there are really instances that he needs me more than his SO, then I guess I am just doing all three parties good... haha...
reddyredlee
New Member
I don't know leh. I probably won't make the first move. However if he makes the first move and that if he and his SO really got problem and if I really like him very much, I will just maybe date him.
But having said that,you never know humans can always make things very complicated.
But having said that,you never know humans can always make things very complicated.
reddyredlee
New Member
sm, there is no difference. What I'm saying if there is already some mutual attraction between us, him making the first move might mean something but of course, we have to take things one step at a time.
jefferson_edison
New Member
I will still be offensive what ever she got SO
I got mine by being supa offensive and never spare a gap in between. U just have to be like that. in love, in work, in live.
u not offensive other people will be offensive. her SO ? treat her "SO" as "ArseHole". why surrender. make sure u become her "SO" rather then being called the "arsehole"
I got mine by being supa offensive and never spare a gap in between. U just have to be like that. in love, in work, in live.
u not offensive other people will be offensive. her SO ? treat her "SO" as "ArseHole". why surrender. make sure u become her "SO" rather then being called the "arsehole"