Wife cheated and baby not mine

ExtremeEmo

New Member
Hi all,
I just need a space to vent my inner rage for what had happened to me. Need advise urgently as I'm not thinking straight.

My wife and I are both 30 years old and we have known each other for 11 years. I just found out the baby is not mine as the baby doctor tell us the baby blood type after delivery. I am totally devastated and unable to believe the women I love and care for all these years actually betrayed my trust and worst bear a child whom is not mine. She told me she is extremely remorseful and beg for my forgiveness. I ask for her reason of betrayal and she told me her curiosity of trying with another guy gets the better of her and she did it with him not once but 4 times within 2 months during my reservist and after that too. I cherish the fact we faces up and down throughout all these years but I felt tat my heart cannot bear it anymore. I am on the verge of breaking down and going all psycho. There is no scenario I have not thought of getting revenge. Someone out there please show me the light out of this

My situation now is our BTO is coming this year end.
We are married for 4 years .
Divorce or .....
 


pipitbj

Member
sorry dude to hear this...
I had thought about this before. and....
I will just dump this woman. divorce her. lose the bto.

unless u can accept your wife kana banged by other guy, and numerous times. and allowed the guy to go raw n came inside. totally crazy...

losing the bto is better than living in this image forever. and yeah, if I could find the guy out and beat the shit out of him.

there is no light, unless u leave her. or u can stay married till 5years after TOP.
 

ExtremeEmo

New Member
sorry dude to hear this...
I had thought about this before. and....
I will just dump this woman. divorce her. lose the bto.

unless u can accept your wife kana banged by other guy, and numerous times. and allowed the guy to go raw n came inside. totally crazy...

losing the bto is better than living in this image forever. and yeah, if I could find the guy out and beat the shit out of him.

there is no light, unless u leave her. or u can stay married till 5years after TOP.
I didn't think anyone will reply to me so fast and thanks for Ur advise.
 

meiji5

Member
I think you need to really dig deep and find out if you are able to accept and forgive what she has done.
Will you be able to live with her and the baby knowing that the baby is not yours.
Will you be able to continue to love her? As well as the baby as if he/she were your own?
Can you trust her and that she will not do this again?
Is your marriage worth fighting for?

There are a lot of things to consider but the final decision on whether you stay or leave is solely your choice. We just hope that you can overcome this situation and continue with the decision that you have chosen. Really wish you all the best.
 

Infernolord

Active Member
Hi all,
I just need a space to vent my inner rage for what had happened to me. Need advise urgently as I'm not thinking straight.

My wife and I are both 30 years old and we have known each other for 11 years. I just found out the baby is not mine as the baby doctor tell us the baby blood type after delivery. I am totally devastated and unable to believe the women I love and care for all these years actually betrayed my trust and worst bear a child whom is not mine. She told me she is extremely remorseful and beg for my forgiveness. I ask for her reason of betrayal and she told me her curiosity of trying with another guy gets the better of her and she did it with him not once but 4 times within 2 months during my reservist and after that too. I cherish the fact we faces up and down throughout all these years but I felt tat my heart cannot bear it anymore. I am on the verge of breaking down and going all psycho. There is no scenario I have not thought of getting revenge. Someone out there please show me the light out of this

My situation now is our BTO is coming this year end.
We are married for 4 years .
Divorce or .....

I feel you.. if i were you, i also dunno wad i will do.
Being frank, i think you shld just leave her. Her love for you is aldy not there the moment she had an affair.
Having said that, trust is broken.
At 30, you are still young. i think you can write appeal on your situation and hope to waive penalty if there is.
Your wife need to face the consequences... what happen to the jerk? Run off with no responsibility?

Lastly, your wife had the intention to lie, given she only confessed after you found out.
She lied many times when she cheated.. even she having another guy child.. she lied, hoping you do not find out.
And then ???? continue her frivolous lifestyle till the jerk take up responsibility and throw you aside?? I do feel she is selfish..
 

ExtremeEmo

New Member
I feel you.. if i were you, i also dunno wad i will do.
Being frank, i think you shld just leave her. Her love for you is aldy not there the moment she had an affair.
Having said that, trust is broken.
At 30, you are still young. i think you can write appeal on your situation and hope to waive penalty if there is.
Your wife need to face the consequences... what happen to the jerk? Run off with no responsibility?

Lastly, your wife had the intention to lie, given she only confessed after you found out.
She lied many times when she cheated.. even she having another guy child.. she lied, hoping you do not find out.
And then ???? continue her frivolous lifestyle till the jerk take up responsibility and throw you aside?? I do feel she is selfish..
The jerk is married with 3 kids. I have thought a thousand way to end him but alot of implication. My life is a mess
 

ExtremeEmo

New Member
I think you need to really dig deep and find out if you are able to accept and forgive what she has done.
Will you be able to live with her and the baby knowing that the baby is not yours.
Will you be able to continue to love her? As well as the baby as if he/she were your own?
Can you trust her and that she will not do this again?
Is your marriage worth fighting for?

There are a lot of things to consider but the final decision on whether you stay or leave is solely your choice. We just hope that you can overcome this situation and continue with the decision that you have chosen. Really wish you all the best.
Tks for the wishes but I will have a hard time thinking my nx step
 

Linus84

New Member
Hi all,
I just need a space to vent my inner rage for what had happened to me. Need advise urgently as I'm not thinking straight.

My wife and I are both 30 years old and we have known each other for 11 years. I just found out the baby is not mine as the baby doctor tell us the baby blood type after delivery. I am totally devastated and unable to believe the women I love and care for all these years actually betrayed my trust and worst bear a child whom is not mine. She told me she is extremely remorseful and beg for my forgiveness. I ask for her reason of betrayal and she told me her curiosity of trying with another guy gets the better of her and she did it with him not once but 4 times within 2 months during my reservist and after that too. I cherish the fact we faces up and down throughout all these years but I felt tat my heart cannot bear it anymore. I am on the verge of breaking down and going all psycho. There is no scenario I have not thought of getting revenge. Someone out there please show me the light out of this

My situation now is our BTO is coming this year end.
We are married for 4 years .
Divorce or .....



I share your anger and frustration when reading your post. At the same time I felt your sadness and confusion in this issue.

I know most people will give u advises by evaluating how much you love your wife.
But I believe this are important factors that you need to ask yourself :

Betrayal of trust
In the near future can you trust her anymore?
Even if you forgive her now can you assure there will no grudes hold against her? Ultimately can she be trusted again?

Children
Could you accept him/her as you own?
The children is innocent and you will seeing the child everyday. And very often we are
Guided by our emotions. How are you going treat the child and also explain this to your family members?

I think it good to consider by not factoring BTO, money related and asset when doing decision. The key decision should be are you able to accept it and live with it.
If you couldn't then no point forcing yourself as outcome will be predictable.

Anything that is related money can be easier solve. Money can be earn in the near future so you shouldn't cloud your mind with such unrealistic factor.

You mentioned she been with you for the last 11 years but yet she committed an adultery.

The fact that she betray you and not using protection. Show that she don't even bother the consequences.

She has also no intention to confess till the blood test. Show that she intend to lie to you and your feeling were never her concern.

If I were in your shoes, I will divorce her for sure.

I hardly see any remorseful in her action.
I hope you can consult some family members and close friend on this matter. By then you should be able to make a decision
 

ExtremeEmo

New Member
I share your anger and frustration when reading your post. At the same time I felt your sadness and confusion in this issue.

I know most people will give u advises by evaluating how much you love your wife.
But I believe this are important factors that you need to ask yourself :

Betrayal of trust
In the near future can you trust her anymore?
Even if you forgive her now can you assure there will no grudes hold against her? Ultimately can she be trusted again?

Children
Could you accept him/her as you own?
The children is innocent and you will seeing the child everyday. And very often we are
Guided by our emotions. How are you going treat the child and also explain this to your family members?

I think it good to consider by not factoring BTO, money related and asset when doing decision. The key decision should be are you able to accept it and live with it.
If you couldn't then no point forcing yourself as outcome will be predictable.

Anything that is related money can be easier solve. Money can be earn in the near future so you shouldn't cloud your mind with such unrealistic factor.

You mentioned she been with you for the last 11 years but yet she committed an adultery.

The fact that she betray you and not using protection. Show that she don't even bother the consequences.

She has also no intention to confess till the blood test. Show that she intend to lie to you and your feeling were never her concern.

If I were in your shoes, I will divorce her for sure.

I hardly see any remorseful in her action.
I hope you can consult some family members and close friend on this matter. By then you should be able to make a decision
Thanks you so much for the detail break down. I myself thoughts thru alot as well but still could nt find a solution. Maybe I'm too kind hearted and won't go to extreme as we have been thru all those times.
 

foolishguy

New Member
Bro,

As a guy that have gone thru the same ordeal as you. Although not as bad as my ex-wife having a child with another guy. I was hurt deeply emotionally and financially due to the actions of my ex-wife.

Bro, first things first....DON'T HURT YOURSELF! You are a man, keep strong and keep going. It will be tough, you will question your own self worth, you will feel inadequate. Don't blame yourself, don't even blame your wife...just let her go.
Don't go looking for the other man, don't get revenge, it's not worth it. Recently a regular guy came up in the news where he caught his wife topless in his own house on his own bed with another guy and he punch the other guy. In the end, he was jailed 5 weeks and lost his job....totally not worth it..

I will be crude, the day that your wife made a decision to spread her legs and let another guy penetrate her and came inside her raw. She has already decided to give you up.

She was stringing you all along, up to the day that the gyane finally reveal to you that the baby doesn't matches your blood group or your wife's. She is hoping that she can fool you forever and then you will be foolishly providing for the child that was never yours in the first place. How cruel is she....

Give up on the BTO while you still can, afterall you will only lose out on the CPF downpayment, be glad that you have not sink in any cold hard cash into the house. (I have throw in my life savings into my house and are still suffering from it)

Good luck bro, the road is tough ahead but I believe you can make it. Harden your heart now, be tough and only think for yourself and your family. That's my advise. Take care.
 

Staypositive

Active Member
Bro,I could empathise with ur feelings.it is not worth keeping her.its simply preposterous that she betrayed you so many times!maybe once out of folly but multiple times and had actually kept quiet abt the biological father of the child,leading you on.if she is indeed remorseful she would have confessed to u.but the thing is ,she didn't and let u find out the truth urself.this so called Wife is not worth for you to love now.even if you have gone through lots with her in the past,it has been broken into a million pieces by her betrayal.things will never be the same again.
 

ExtremeEmo

New Member
Bro,

As a guy that have gone thru the same ordeal as you. Although not as bad as my ex-wife having a child with another guy. I was hurt deeply emotionally and financially due to the actions of my ex-wife.

Bro, first things first....DON'T HURT YOURSELF! You are a man, keep strong and keep going. It will be tough, you will question your own self worth, you will feel inadequate. Don't blame yourself, don't even blame your wife...just let her go.
Don't go looking for the other man, don't get revenge, it's not worth it. Recently a regular guy came up in the news where he caught his wife topless in his own house on his own bed with another guy and he punch the other guy. In the end, he was jailed 5 weeks and lost his job....totally not worth it..

I will be crude, the day that your wife made a decision to spread her legs and let another guy penetrate her and came inside her raw. She has already decided to give you up.

She was stringing you all along, up to the day that the gyane finally reveal to you that the baby doesn't matches your blood group or your wife's. She is hoping that she can fool you forever and then you will be foolishly providing for the child that was never yours in the first place. How cruel is she....

Give up on the BTO while you still can, afterall you will only lose out on the CPF downpayment, be glad that you have not sink in any cold hard cash into the house. (I have throw in my life savings into my house and are still suffering from it)

Good luck bro, the road is tough ahead but I believe you can make it. Harden your heart now, be tough and only think for yourself and your family. That's my advise. Take care.
Thank you for Ur heartfelt advise. Many what u said are spot on too,i will think thru and see wat I can do.i sincerely hope u will find your other half soon.
 

pipitbj

Member
Bro,

As a guy that have gone thru the same ordeal as you. Although not as bad as my ex-wife having a child with another guy. I was hurt deeply emotionally and financially due to the actions of my ex-wife.

Bro, first things first....DON'T HURT YOURSELF! You are a man, keep strong and keep going. It will be tough, you will question your own self worth, you will feel inadequate. Don't blame yourself, don't even blame your wife...just let her go.
Don't go looking for the other man, don't get revenge, it's not worth it. Recently a regular guy came up in the news where he caught his wife topless in his own house on his own bed with another guy and he punch the other guy. In the end, he was jailed 5 weeks and lost his job....totally not worth it..

I will be crude, the day that your wife made a decision to spread her legs and let another guy penetrate her and came inside her raw. She has already decided to give you up.

She was stringing you all along, up to the day that the gyane finally reveal to you that the baby doesn't matches your blood group or your wife's. She is hoping that she can fool you forever and then you will be foolishly providing for the child that was never yours in the first place. How cruel is she....

Give up on the BTO while you still can, afterall you will only lose out on the CPF downpayment, be glad that you have not sink in any cold hard cash into the house. (I have throw in my life savings into my house and are still suffering from it)

Good luck bro, the road is tough ahead but I believe you can make it. Harden your heart now, be tough and only think for yourself and your family. That's my advise. Take care.
bro you r right. try not to beat him in public. but can ambush.

next plan is, tell wife to go find the jerk's family and exposed his scandal and declared that the child is his. create havoc so he may not have peace. Cos why r u suffering only? kinda evil but I cant let him get off scot free.
 

Linus84

New Member
Thanks you so much for the detail break down. I myself thoughts thru alot as well but still could nt find a solution. Maybe I'm too kind hearted and won't go to extreme as we have been thru all those times.


Bro not too sure what are your plan.
But as observer I think you are really kind hearted.

But I hope you can clearly identify your priority in life without making a mistake.

Just don't keep everything to yourself.
 

ExtremeEmo

New Member
Bro not too sure what are your plan.
But as observer I think you are really kind hearted.

But I hope you can clearly identify your priority in life without making a mistake.

Just don't keep everything to yourself.
Tks you for your kind words and I'm thankful for Ur advise
 

M38

New Member
This is a man's worst nightmare I supposed. I try to put myself in your situation. If everything being equal, the effort she puts in to save this marriage will determine if I would carry on - Her assurance, committment and most importantly her love towards me. Sit her down and listen to "the affair" experience and ask her HARD questions and decide. At this junction, my decision will be based solely on how much she loves me.

It would be really difficult to continue as your trust towards her is broken but if love is still evident between both of you, I hope somewhere you can gather strength to accept her and the child. Reset and move on together.
 

tomasulu

Member
Can you or can you not live with her and the child? You've to face the child the rest of your life and good or bad you will be reminded that he is not yours.

If you can't it's better you let them go.
 

buddhabar

Active Member
A married women and a married man with 3 kids.
now there are 4 innocent children involved.
These kids are not in good hands considering what their
parents/half parents have done. I would sue for adultery
and make every guilty adults pay for this sin. they ain't going to
be good parents anyway.
 

jiakliaobee

New Member
You should divorce and let go of the bto.. build a new life for yourself again anyway you are still young.. find happiness in other things, this world is not just about setting up a family
 

H3I

New Member
Just make sure that her family knows what she has done. Divorce her and then ignore her forever. Best is to treat her like she doesn't exist and let her deal with the mess.

You also don't want to be involve in this shit. It will never go away. You want to stay as far from it as you can. And then move on to better things.

Be sure to ignore all forms of contact with her and focus on building yourself into an even more awesome person. There are plenty of choices out there. You will find a lady who is deserves you and you will be proud to have a kid raised by her and looked up to as an example.

Certainly, not a h** who has got creampied by a married man and probably had pre*** sex with while being with you.
 

life_is

Active Member
Can you forgive and forget on a daily basis?

If not, do the necessary medical tests to prove that the child is not yours, and use it for divorce. Hope you won't have to pay child maintenance and her alimony if you want a clean break.
 

Carousell

Active Member
Any update whats your choice in the end? Hais if only faithful men meet only faithful wife, saw so many post of husband or bf cheat behind wife or gf back and now wife cheat behind husband back.
 

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