Why ladies having problems with their Man always use "why men...?"

P

powder

Active Member
notice how these ladies always generalise it as men, when actually they just wanna talk abt their husbands/bfrens...

isit becos they need to hide the fact that it is THEIR choice? and escape some self-reflection?
 


actually tat's fine, wouldn't really think badly of character whereby they're un-marriable (is tat such a term?)... but just that, why complain abt Men when it's actually your guy u wanna complain abt?
 
bro, it shows how objective or emotional a person is. Its very frustrating and tiring to reason with a person that is constantly allow emotions over logic and objectiveness. With parents, we have no choice. With spouse, we have the choice. Its a definite no-no for spouse for me.

All women (and humans in fact) are emotional, but they need to learn to be able to cope with their own emotions too. Guys can pamper them, but we cannot baby sit them. All these self-victimizing and blaming are all typical of the denial mentality regardless of gender.
 
Generalization. When most fall victim, it's somewhat like "them" against the entire world. And they would deem the aggravator to represent the general entire population. With much angst and everything thing else, it clouds their judgements rather then zeroing down to the cause and situation. Actually some guys are like that too.

I do somewhat see these traits in the younger generations both males and females. Issit due to the pampering and upbringing? I don't know but in event if anything doesn't goes their way, they start the pointing and hate the world and whichever in association with it.
 
More possibilities:
1. They have been treated the same way or badly by more than one man;
2. To feel less alienated
 
Clustering... The more the merrier... So as to associate issues that evolve along the way... And to "justify" that "why men" are like that =)
 
I do heard of some upbringings where the mums always tell the daughters 男人是ä¸å¯ä»¥ç›¸ä¿¡çš„。And the daughters really subscribe to this belief.

It's like... you don't obey 警察å”å”æ¥æŠ“你。
 
ä¸è¦æŠ“我.. 我是乖å®å®.. wahahahah....

Negative mindset implanted.. So? "WHY PARENTS" are like that huh??? wahahahaha.... (trying to push the blame to other parents then own).. =)
 
Because women don't want to take responsibility for their choices / decisions. It is easier to blame problems in a relationship to "general issues with men" than it is to analyse the situation and do something about it.
 
Now you mention about responsibility, I cannot stand men/women who do not face up to their deed and hope others to clear their shit for them. Or performing at the expenses of others and still think almighty of self.

Just encountered one of such recently.
 
å°è™¾ç±³, 感触良多...... 是è°åœ¨ä½ é¢å‰è£…神圣?? 讨厌!! wahahahaha....
 
TMD!.. me trying to "act" and be compassionate towards U..

请给我一个机会拌伟大.. 虽然我讨厌装模作样的人,但是我会努力的!! wahahah...
 
The compassion does not gel well with the "讨厌!! followed by "wahahahaha...." lah kaoz.

Not to me lah. Juz a student of my wife. Impregnant a gal, then dun wanna take responsibilities to handle the situation. Run away. Girl family go approach his family. Alot of blah blah blah here and there. Everyone wanted to come to a conclusion to settle the issue but he just siam here and there.

Also reminds me of my army days. Got one guy awol. And was caught later and found out that he impregnated 2 girls at one go then dump it to his family to settle for him. Anyway abit deviates away from the thread liao haha
 
Don't worry.. U din't side-track that much... still within the topic "why men".... blah blah blah...

From your above 2 examples, show "why men" can do such thing then MIA.. hiazzzz...

Is women being gullible or men being smart in such act?
 
dunno how true this is, but i think one of the reasons why they generalise is to escape from focusing/working on the problem itself. So instead of trying to find answers to "what's wrong with him? what's wrong with the situation? what's wrong with me?", they seek answers which are just unavailable. Am i making sense? when u keep asking questions which have no answers, and focus so hard on them, it's easy to be in this neverendind loop and that occupies all your time, arbo have to face the possibly ugly truth by asking the right questions...got logic?
 
i think i can go one step ahead and say that it might be becos not only do these ladies have No intention to address the issues, but have already psyched themselves to accept and stay, thus the need to attribute it to the gender Before moving into the "all men are like that" phase to stay in their relationships...
 
agreed. Side track a bit, i have little tolerance for some who use the i-have-no-choice-coz-of-my-kid excuse. Qualify: I'm not saying it's not a valid reason. There are some who genuinely put their children's interests before their own, but they WILL leave otherwise, and these are not the ones i'm referring to. I'm addressing those who obviously won't do any different with or without kids. Sometimes i wonder, no kids then no need to work? no need to pay rent? no kid can survive feeding on grass?
 
well staying for kids is a valid reason if u are my mum n was married to be a housewife, but in today's context guys dun marry girls to be housewives But as an equal...

a broken home may not be as bad as a family severely lacking in love...
 
btw, there is such a word - "unmarriageable". However i was never too comfortable using it and often say "not marriageable" instead
 
Hey, most divorces are initiated by the wife. I would say many women even though who tend to go round in circles when marital problems first surface, are capable of recognising and putting an end to an unworkable marriage.
 
Watched a play "Defending the Caveman" last nite. Quite a bit of generalisation but I thot it was quite true tat women & men treat each other the way they themselves want to be treated. Wrong move since men & women are wired differently. Tat's why whenever a group of women gathers, the conversation topic will always revolve around "why all men are arseholes". Mwahahha...
happy.gif
 
when one is caught in an undesirable situation, its nature to generalise. dont think they mean to target 'all men' or 'all women' literally, but just a figure of speech. some are more capable of expression themselves, but many, when caught in a bout of self-pity and righteousness tend to make sweeping statements. that's why when we're writing argumentative essays, we were always taught to say '...to a certain extent' to play safe and avoid generalisation.
 
Its only natural to generalize when one isn't thinking objectively but using their emotions take over of their logic.
 
Hey Milo,
i rem reading somewhere that u hv to be in roc. I'm not sure this helps, but the card that i use to call china is great, i get 900 mins and it only cost me $8. Apparently it's darn cheap to use the same card to call out from roc too, i've not tried doing that before though. I don't see any company name on my card but u can ring the hotline 65649036 to check it up if u're keen to find something cheap to use to call back.
 
wjchiang, many thanks.

Will take note. Is this a prepaid SIM card?
What are the charges for data connection? or is it only for voice? Would be nice if I could have internet connection and access to my email.
 
milo,
I really have no idea. It's one of those cards i bought from china town, size of a credit card but thinner. I only use it to call china n hk by dialling a local number here, then enter a pin followed by the foreign number to connect.
For the call-back service, i have no idea how "cheap" is cheap, just that i rem the sales mentioned to me that it can also be used for calling back from china (but i haven't tried so i've no idea how true). Give 'em a buzz n find out, they should be able to give u the rates for calling back
happy.gif
 
Hi happened to see this thread.

Actually I used to buy a IP card from China to call back to Singapore in the past and my family bought those calling cards from the stall outside Centrepoint to call me. It costs around $9 to $10 and the number of mins available is quite long. But there are lotsa such cards, have to go thru trial and error to find out which card is more "transparent" in terms of pricing as well as quality of connection. It is still cheaper for Singapore to call China then to get an IP card in China to call back Singapore.

How about using skype? It is free and the clarity for certain places are quite good.
 
I'll there for reservist. No computers lah. At least can have WAP enable mobiles. So, I will need a pre-paid SIM card.
 
Milo,

OIC. You can check out the rates provided by wjchiang for the Spore card. If you can get your family to call you, the rates will be cheaper than if you were to get an IP card in China to call back to Singapore. It is about Rmb3.60/min to call back to Singapore using a China IP card. If I remember correctly, the card which my family used to buy in Singapore costs about S$0.30/min which is less than half of China's rate.

I have never used the card with a hp. So not sure if an IP card can be used with a hp though. But such cards can be used for land lines or public phones.

Check out this link:
http://www.chinatravelhub.com/chinatips/phonecards.htm
 
For data connection it would be good to get a local SIM card with data... am not sure about taiwan as I have not been there for years. Normally if I visit a new country for extended period of time I would get that. I presume it would not be difficult to get that for taiwan.

Then you can bring your laptop and connect at local call internet charges and then you can skype or whatever..
 
its actually Republic of China : Taiwan.

I'm have an IP phone which my wife normally uses to call my hotel during my biz trips.

This time, i just need a pre-paid SIM. If its free incoming, it will be great.

SM, computer is out of the question. SAF doesn't allow us to bring computers at all.
 
milo,

Then no choice but to bring your most powerful mobile phone.. with ability to surf..

Sure you can get local sim card.. but I am not quite sure how you can get it unless you can sort of book out. I know there could be restrictions.

When I was in Taiwan for military training.. i normally can "escape" out to the nearest down town.. not so sure about you.
 
tip from a no-longer-v-taiwanese taiwanese who insists he knows:
U can get a prepaid sim from most convenience stores, many have free incoming. Apparently even out-going local calls are darn cheap in taiwan.

aiyo, how come men/women thread became prepaid sim thread ... my bad
 
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