Why is it so difficult to be single?

[joy_joy]

I am in my late 20s and broke off with my boyfriend last year. We were together for 6yr. We have gotten a flat and planning our wedding. But I call it off as I feel I no longer like him and due to other issues also. I have very strong family support and managed to get well quite fast. But my colleagues and some friends are constantly reminding me to find a boyfriend. I find it very irritating and whatever they say will link back to me finding a boy friend. Once I had a bread on my table and this colleague of mine actualy commented that if i eat somemore and grow fat, nobody will wants me. Or if I commented that I don't like guys much older than me, they will say if I am so choosy, no man will want me and I will be left on the shelf. I am not bothered by being single and actually enjoy the freedom. However, I cannot stand all these kaypoh people and their remarks. I am a very inferior girl and does not know how to handle such situation. These remarks are getting stronger and stronger. Any advise on how to deal with such people?

 

[susanna_low]

My frd who is v straightforward posted on FB "I hate it when ppl asked me XXX, please do not ask me any qns related to XXX and it's very annoying and gets on my nerve seriously" and nobody asked her anything since then..

 

[snoopies]

Hi Joy

Hmm, I am just thinking if both ur friends n colleagues(I am assuming that they do not know one another) making the same remarks on u, could u have wrongly gave them any signals which misled them?

I once constantly did something similar in my previous job, teasing a galfren in her 30s about finding a bf as she is kinda one who is desperately seeking for a partner but placed her expectations too high. She does not have any bf b4 n all these years, she been hoping to find one who can meet all her ridiculous expectations, the ONE.. who will expect to marry her on their first date. With such it just irritates everyone in the office n therefore stirring up everyone's attention to attack(tease) her on almost daily basis.

I'm not saying you r like her, but maybe you should give it a thought if there any signals given which intrigues them giving u such concern? In any way, just be cool about such. if u dun seem to be bothered by it, pple will get bored with it n divert their topics to something else.

 

[snoopies]

Ya.. Maybe like what Ting Yi has suggested, post something cool on FB. Something like ' oh com'on pple. Who say one can't live being single? I'm cool n I'm alive! Join me or LEAVE me alone!!'

 

[miloice]

hi Joy, frankly I believe its partly because how you reacted. The more you are bothered with what others say to u, the more it encourages them to continue. Quit thinking on how to handle others. You have no control over their mouths. Think why are they picking on u? You are likely reacting in ways that draws their attention. Kapos will always be kapo. Their topic will always be on fresh interesting things. So, stop fielding them with new stuffs to talk abt. Also, some folks could be truly concerned for you.

You have mentioned about your lack of confidence. work on that. Focus on yourself and not others. You need to feel good and believe in yourself and not how others see you.

 

[cococherry]

You can't control what others want to say.
Kaypoh will usually find the same person to kaypoh about is because the other party will react to their comments. They will find you uninteresting if you ignore and walk away.

 

[powder]

when pple u can't stand and dun like, can affect yourmood and self-confidence... perhaps it's time to reaafirm that u love who u are and what u live for.

 

[carlislesg]

Just tell your friends straight to their faces that you're getting annoyed with all their side comments about you finding a partner. I'm sure they'll get the message and stop bothering you. Also you just need to have more self confidence so that none of those will affect you.

 

[sweeet]

ok, this might be a little out of the topic but my mom kept pestering for months, asking when i was planning to get hitched. I told her straight that if she wanted me to get hitched right now, I'd head out, get myself pregnant and have a shotgun wedding the very next day, just like my cousin.

She immediately stopped all her questions. hah.

I think the main thing is to just let them know that their questions are just plain annoying and if they still dont get it, put it in a situation in which they understand and do eventually get what you mean.

 

[whitetiramisu]

anyone is thinking of staying single for life?

is it so difficult?

 

[miloice]

its a personal decision that is largely unique to every individual. Same as parenting and marriage. Priorities differ. There will be many that can share wonderful or horror stories with you. All these are probably all very valid and real. But, it might not be relevant to you. To some, its completely natural while to others, it can be completely unthinkable.

Before one make such a decision for life, one would need to be stable enough in terms of maturity and emotions to make such a call. Else, why not to keep options and mind open?