I planned a wedding over the course of 9 months and just got married so thought I'll share some thoughts on the wedding process. It's a little long, but hope you don't mind.
Like someone mentioned, there are no hard and fast rules but it's good if you have a few dates to work with. Consult a geomancer or your parents, but have a date on hand when you go around sourcing for banquet/rom venues.
How to get married:
There are, of course, a few ways to getting married:
a) Pay $26 to register your marriage at ROM and have a good meal after that. (Most pain-free)
b) Rom & lunch/dinner on the same day (Expect a full day of events)
c) Rom first, lunch/dinner on another day (Less stressful, but still needs lots of prep unless your guest list is small)
d) Rom & lunch/dinner at the same time (Expect a full day of events)
Discuss with your hb how you two would like things to go.
Budget:
Next, come up with a budget because this is likely to determine the kind of wedding you can have. Will it be a extravagant one at a 5* hotel or a modest one at a restaurant? How much you are willing to fork out and your current financial situation will help you decide and shortlist the hotels you want to hold your banquet/dinner/lunch at. Start a spreadsheet on Google Drive and share it with your hb. At the same time, see what credit cards you have that can give you cashbacks or reward points. Cashbacks are best, of course. If you don't have any good credit cards, now will be a good time to apply for one. You can consider paying in instalments until your wedding date, to maximise on the cashbacks. Don't forget to factor in the angbaos you have to give to the various helpers and vendors e.g. MUA and photographer.
Shortlist the venues:
After which, do some online research on your preferred hotels. SingaporeBrides has a good list of banquet venues with their respective per table rate. Do your calculations to see how many tables you can afford to invite, then do an estimated guest list. Check with your parents and friends to see who can make it for your wedding in the general month of your wedding. No need for confirmation yet, just to get a feel of how many people are coming. Shortlist not more than 4 to 5 hotels because:
a) no point checking hotels above your budget when you know you won't be able to afford it
b) running around to check out hotels/restaurants is seriously tiring...do your homework online first. There are plenty of reviews and photos online for you to look at anyway.
Start approaching the shortlisted hotels/restaurants. Make sure you can at least meet their minimum table requirement. If you cannot, don't force yourself to up the number of tables just to meet their requirement. You can consider negotiating with them but I wouldn't waste the effort. While analysing their wedding menu, make sure they have everything you want in an ideal wedding. Free flow red wine, soft drinks and Chinese tea? Car park coupons? Any discounts you can utilise if you use a certain card? Scrutinise their venue at the same time, any blocking pillars? Is it spacious enough to hold the number of tables you intend to invite? How many LCD screens? Food for helpers? Wedding themes available? Wedding favours? Prepare a list of questions and don't be shy about clearing any doubts. Don't, I repeat, don't take for granted you'll be given something just because it was discussed during the meeting. Have it in black and white, be it a contract or email. Make sure to lock down your venues bright and early because they would usually be booked 1 year to 9 months in advance.
Solemniser:
If you intend to get married in a church, do remember that you have to attend a marriage prep course before you can even approach the priest to preside over your ceremony. I'm not too sure about other religions, but do know what's expected and book your solemniser early. Some JPs may also not accept bookings until 3 months before the actual event so do take note. Mark your calendar to book your rom date on the rom website.
Invitation cards:
After you've confirmed the date and time, it's now time to invite people. Hotels & restaurants will usually have their own printers and cover about 70% of the printing cost. Tentatively confirm who will come and print about 10% more in case of mistakes or you want to invite more people. After all, it's easier to top up tables than to cut down on the number of tables.
After you've settled the more important matters, it's time to dress up the occasion:
Wedding dress:
Again, this is where your budget comes into play. There are many ways to get a wedding dress...you can purchase it online or get it from bridal studios, which usually makes photography part of their package anyway. Again, do your homework online before you go traipsing all over Singapore just to find that perfect gown. Do note that off the rack choices may be limited and your package may not be as comprehensive as you were led to think at the bridal show or roadshow. Bring a checklist of things you'd want in a package. Bring an experienced friend if you must, so you can negotiate for a better package. In other words, know what you want and stand firm in the face of flowery sales pitches!
Photography:
In a normal wedding, people would usually have a wedding shoot photog and an actual day photog. Wedding photo shoots are usually covered in a bridal studio package and you are usually limited by the number of photos you can get. Bridal studios usually will try to persuade you to top up coz they will purposely take many beautiful photos of you. I won't stop you from choosing all the photos if you can afford it, but remember that the wedding album will disappear into the storeroom forever after your wedding. Ala carte pre-wed photogs may allow you to take all the photos, but it depends, so choose wisely. It doesn't always have to be a wedding gown sort of photo shoot. Casual photo shoots are quite in these days...you can even choose a theme to make your photos more memorable.
Bouquet:
The bouquet cost usually depends on what flowers you want. Seasonal flowers cost more and you also run the risk of the bouquet wilting on the actual day coz you didn't take care to store it somewhere cool. I'm not saying it will happen...but it's a risk you should consider. Of course, if you don't want that on your mind, you can always consider silk flower bouquets (fake flowers) of which there are plenty of options on Ebay and etsy. Plus you can choose any type of flowers in any colour you want.
Actual Day MUA:
MUAs are pretty busy people so their schedules are usually booked at least 1 year in advance. Go for trial make up sessions to determine if their style is suitable and whether the cosmetics they are using will cause your skin to have allergic reactions.
Wedding bands:
Depending on your budget and preferences, make sure you have at least a 3 month buffer before your wedding to purchase the ring. This is important, especially if you want to custom make a ring.
Decor:
For outdoor or church venues, you can choose to DIY or hire someone to do it for you. This can usually be settled about 6 months beforehand but you can always book early if you are worried about slots.
Last but not least:
Avoid setting out with the mindset that you'd earn from the angbaos from your relatives and friends. If you do that, you'd only be supremely unhappy when the angbao amounts do not come up to expectation. Work within your budget and be happy that people are setting time aside to attend your wedding. In fact, expect to make a loss and don't try to impress anyone with extravagant details if you cannot afford it. Nobody will remember what colour your dress was, how exquisite your bouquet was, how many jie meis you have or even whether they are wearing coordinated dresses or not. But they will remember the wonderful experience you have given them by putting personal touches to your wedding. And the delicious food, of course.
Hope this helps!