Should I divorce if husband hated son?

C

chri

New Member
Need an advice....

anybody divorce because of children. I married my husband when I'm was 21, now 38 with 2 children (13 & 3) & my income is higher than him. Everything was alright until my son was born 3yrs ago.

He become paranoid of losing job , easily frustrated, vent anger on son by slapping him when he was 1yr & even saw he covered his mouth when son crying non-stop. Then I started to become defenive & protective of my children. When son was 2yrs, we had a big arguement in public because I shouted at him (couldn't control myself when saw him slapping son again). He then threatened to jump down from 20floor with son by holding son outside balcony. I had to say "Im sorry" before he put down son on ground & I had to snatch son away from him. Today, son 3yrs old, 2nd arguenment started because son trip & fall while trying to hold his hand, he not only ignored son but told him not to board his car if he don't stop crying. I got mad & questioned him but he started his shouting. This time he scratched my hand & broke my finger nail while I tried to blocked him for getting near to my children.

With abovementioned, anyone think I should file for divorce? haizz... I felt so frustrated today & spent 7k for fortune teller to improve my marriage luck. But now after 4hrs, feeling regretted that maybe I should spend this money on lawyer fee than feng shui.

Sorry for being so long-winded but I'm feeling dilemma. Should I just believe that everything will turn better or be realistic that our marriage is over? will my children be happy without father or mother?
 


Looks to me like your husband is jealous that you are too good to your son instead of him? Perhaps you might want to treat him better?
 
Child abuse on the rise
Thursday, 20 l 05 l 2010 ; Source: The New Paper
By Shree Ann Mathavan



CASES of child abuse have been rising over the last four years.

Statistics from the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS), show the number of cases more than doubling.

In 2006, there were 57 cases. Last year, it was 118.

Last year’s figures are provisional. This means there could be even more of such cases but these are under investigation.

Mr Benny Bong, 52, president of The Society Against Family Violence, feels the higher numbers may not indicate an actual increase in abuse cases, but better reporting of them.

He said: “We are coming out of the closet a bit more and are not ignoring the problem so much.

“I feel we have become more vigilant as a society and there is greater awareness of child abuse perhaps because of media reports.â€

Mr Alfred Tan, 50, executive director of the Children’s Society, said: “I think more people are aware now of what to do when they spot abuse.

“Schools also have more counsellors who can better spot abuse, so that could also be why there has been an increase.â€

Compulsory education for all children born after 1996 also means that child abuse can no longer remain hidden.

The MCYS website includes these tips on how to help an abused child:
â–  Make yourself easily accessible and available to the child.
â–  Reassure and comfort the child.
â–  Listen carefully and seriously to what the child is saying.
â–  Do not pressure the child for details of the abuse.
â–  <font size="+1">Seek help immediately from a professional, such as the police, social workers or doctors.

<font color="ff0000">To report suspected child abuse, call Child Protection Service (CPS) at 1800-7770000.</font></font>

source: http://www.healthxchange.com.sg/News/Pages/Child-abuse-on-the-rise.aspx
 
have a good talk to him. find out what had happened to him. show him some concerns..

meanwhile pls protect ur kids and urself..
happy.gif
 
hi there, although you have zero it down to only these specific incidents, I believe there is much more to it. These incidents are probably only the tip of the iceberg. Its stupid with waste money on superstition and hope it can help you without the both of you resolving your differences.

Just some comments as a father myself. Spouse tend to be much more impatient and short tempered. Not really about flaring up. Simple tone and attitude towards things changed.

It is not about judging for you who is right or wrong or if your marriage is gone case. Rather, reflect on what has happen through the years. Has the communication became only about the children and what is expected of him as a parent? Often, its not even intentional. Communication and active feedback is very important for both party to understand how parenting has transformed them. While this is natural as we take on new roles as parents, not everyone deals with that transition well. It is a team work as one family. Is he left behind? Both could have contributed to the accumulation of resentments.
 
Hi ChrisLam

Could your hubby be suffering from bad depression? Depression can either cause a person to go into self withdrawal or violence.

Perhaps you would want to bring him to see a doctor?
 
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