Really heartbroken this time.

means that she is very angry with u and to the extend that she wish u will disappear from this world now. If u keep on forcing trying to look for her or try to communicate with her, she will do something drastic i.e making a police report and getting ppo against u. If so, then u will never even going to be able to see her or communicate with her.

Cool down now, maybe wait a few months then try again. Let time make her forgive u for what u did.
 


Yihui,
what everyone is trying to say to u is this:
do not call her.
do not email her.
do not try to "give her support and show her your concern".
do not think about what "triggered the downfall of your relationship" and don't need to explain/regret.
Full stop, no "but"s, no "if"s.

can u try to do the above for yourself? I know it's tough, but try, for your own good, pls?

If she doesn't want to contact u to settle your a/c issues, maybe they are not as urgent as u want to see them to be. Is it urgent? do u need to settle that NOW? is it money? if she owes u, give her, forget it. If u owe her, write her a cheque and put it in the mail.

you + her = over, finished, no more.
She doesn't want to see u, she doesn't want u to call her, she doesn't want to have anything to do with u right now. I don't mean to make u feel awful, but if u keeping looking for reasons/answers which are just not there, u cannot move on. Give her and give yourself the chance to heal, SEPARATELY, ok?
 
was reading what u all wrote, im following all of ur advices which i know its gd for me. pardon me for this period of time coz its really tough on me.
 
Just take it that she is no longer on this world. There is no such person. If u have the urge for company, meet up your other friends and such. Sleep early wake up early dun dwell into the night and think too much. Keep yourself occupied. Have this mentality. If you call her again, she will be killed by her phone exploding in her face or short circuited by her keyboard as she type to reply you.

For every contact and such that you do now, it gonna make her hates you more and worsen your impression to her. At least, save your pride as a person. It's not about us pardoning you. But you pardoning yourself to degrade further in her minimal respect to you still as a person.
 
To add on, don't cold turkey pinning on the thought of even a possible future. Wipe it off. No more liao end liao. That would be better. Least not in chinese saying that the rope snapped but strings still attached...
 
i know i should just do as what u all mention, which i feel its the right way for me now. nothing to think about it or showing any concern for her or love. just let nature take its course. dont force nature. i understand guys and ladies.
 
dun worry too much just be aware that your mind might be in a swirl now and then during recovery period then u might be more aware of wat u r thinking or doing
 
yihui

sm did a very good job in starting a "divorce group". U don't have to be divorced to join the group, there are singles in there too. Just a platform for people to share and help one another. If u feel u need some support, ask him for details.
 
wj - wahahahah... tot U work in the advertising industry.. keep helping "people" advertising... wahahahah.........
 
thanks wjchiang.. really appreaciate the effort u all spent this while explaining to me. thanks pink for understanding from my point...

my mind is in a swirl as what pink sapphire said, but recovering slowly, pushing away the 'unwanted' thoughts...

what i shd do now is to do something for myself. to change my bad habits etc... to repent mistakes for myself and not for her..
 
Then keep to it, yihui..

We don want to hear you saying you msg her or she msg you or what she is thinking and what she is trying to do..

It is time to close the chapter and move on.
 
ya snowy.. i wont, but it takes sometime, not saying contacting her anymore or what she reply. make myself unaffected of what she say and so for..
 
We can understand why you did what you did, but can you try to understand that your EX-gf needs to be left alone now. Don't understand never mind, please respect her wish.
 
doll, this few days, my mind is clearer then the last 2wks. i see the picture more clearly then that time. i respect her wish that she needed to be alone.

im really grateful that i came to know u people. there are still nice and caring people around me.
 
I know your mind is clearer now compared to the past two weeks, but you don't have to tell or prove it to her that you are better. She isn't interested to know and she wishes to be left alone. There was no plot, no mind games. Hope you see it this time.
 
If you need to write to her to express your emotions.. do it in a blog instead.. but don't write to her..

I know the temptation to explain things.. to write to the one you once loved.. to want to be understood.. to support .. but you will know sooner or later.. when the feeling is gone.. all these are meaningless.

But we still have emotions and feelings.. and that is why channeling it to a blog may help u.. or you find someone for you to talk to to allow you to express..

A forum is not such a nice place as mostly people will get frustrated if you keep repeating yourself.. and saying the same old things..

Keep it up. You can do it.
 
thanks sm.. im still waiting for my appt with a counselor. in this meanwhile i will need to talk to someone. i will talk to the counselor. but the advices u people gave me was priceless.
 
Yihui, are you really dealt with such a big blow that you need to see a counselor. it seems like you have diffuculy to let go? Where are all your friends? ask them out , enjoy with them. I belive there are many friends who are still single
 
my social circle of friends are small. and they have their own life and things to do. they did talk to me and all. difficulty to let go i cannot determine myself too.. just dont want to think abt her anymore.
 
sm,
maybe yihui can read your blog. I didn't read it but it looked like it'll keep him occupied till he's 85 muahahahaha
 
yes, can seriously consider to write ur feelings in a blog or in Words, esp. when u are feeling down... it really helps.

btw, good thing that u've realised ur shortfalls.... as a better person as of now, just take ur time and look forward to meeting someone new....
 
Ok to see counsellor. But what is your expectation? At the end of the day, it is just an outlet for someone to listen to you.

In the longer term, it is better that you can find some new things to do - new hobby or meet new friends.. keep occupied..
 
think thats the best way out now for me to write down my feelings on a journal. im trying to pick myself up to find some things to do. havent came out with any idea yet.

anyone knows of any social groups which i can join to know more friends and hobbies?
 

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