Really heartbroken this time.

she is just adding misery on top of my sadness... at first, i thought she was just annoyed ocz of the sms and calls i made to her during the initial stage. but i wasn't contacting her till ytd and i didnt call her up.

yes i did call her mum up to ask abt her last week. other then that, i didnt. and she just accues me of doing things which i didnt do at all and i told her, if u feel that way which makes u feel better, then i told her to feel that way instead. in the end its all my fault..
 


Ou yihui,

YOu are still emailing her? Please stop lah. You are not helping issues really.

If she really wants to be left alone. Don't contact her.. in whatever ways.

As for her mom.. leave her alone for a while too.

If she SMS you, just ignore it.. unless you are willing to go through the misery cycle.. I know it is not easy to ignore SMS from someone you love. But it is really depending on you what you want..
 
Yihui, your "sadness and misery" are quite self-inflicted. Since you two have already broken up, you need to learn not to let what she does or says affect you. I mean, who cares since no longer together.
 
nope.. contacting her was stop a number of days till ytd.. emailing her was just about the hdb letter and all.. nothing much.. and ytd in the night regarding the weddings rings issue and all.. i just replied her one sms and her mum called.

to me it seems like a plot she and her mum are doing to me. i told her mum, i still thought u r a resonable person. but it seems to me u are just throwing all ur feelings on me...

i didnt call her house at all. yes, i did call her mobile that time but after that i didnt, her mum just pour whatever she feels on me. like she is having sleepless nights coz she worried of her daughter doing foolish things and all.. arent im having sleepless nights too? now i know, the way she handles things arent in proper and the buying of flats and cancelling of flats was all her idea... i can feel that she's just not happy that why must she carry all the blame. but its all her doing... who can she blame??

im trying to heed my parent's adivce... and im slowing moving on.. though its the tougest stage of me now.....
 
Let her be. She doesnt even know what she want in the first place, thus behaving this way, thinking of all the things which never even happened at all.

Just ignore her.. cos when you tell her that the way she feel better, she feel more frustrated cos she need more assurance from you, expecting you to deny the fact and that she is wrong. Wanting you to feel u cant live with out her..

From your case, it is exactly the same way as what my ex been doing...

Anyway. Move on. i dont see any point in this relationship.. You find a better one...

Are you sure she wont bring up the past issues if one day you 2 patch back again.. History will repeat again and again..
 
snowy, i didnt even thought of that, though my gd friend ask me this qn. she is just making herself feel that the decision she make was correct and deny te fact im gd to her.

she did msg and and told me that she knew i care for her and thats is gd enuff. what else to say. all was her planning and doing... i wasnt even kept in the look.. i cant expect a sensible and knowlegable lady would do such a thing. money cant cure hurt feelings.. money u still can earn back..
 
I say, don't dwell too much on the reasons. They are meaningless unless you want to patch back.

Whose fault? Does it matter? I don't think there is a plot... just plain human reaction to events. Don't try to think too much into it.

Since the relationship is gone.. don't dwell on it.. it is difficult but you got to press on.

I repeat. Don't contact her.. not days.. but for weeks and weeks till you are unaffected by her. If she SMS you.. just reply accordingly if there is a genuine question.. else just ignore it.

Since you think her mother is in it.. then don't talk to her mother at all. Just let it be... else the one suffering is you..
 
Anyway, Educated doesnt mean a person will do somthing sensible. Well educated, only increase your knowledge of other things but not personal things.

Talking about supporting parents or whatever are all crap.. This has nothing to do with relationships unless she wants to find some one rich.. I read and from my point, i feel she doesnt want to settle down even though she is the one suggested it. She want to give herself more options.Afterall she is only 26 years old...

Ignore her.. she is not worth for you to keep cracking your brain and not worth for you to think what she is up to..

Face the fact,it is all over now... After all, you are still young
happy.gif
 
ya, i know simpleman. its doesnt matter whose fault is... just shocked that her mum called me and said all these...

i wont oblige to her bidding anymore. why should i. just makes me feel worst and thats her motive. got to be more wiser regarding on understanding my other partner in the future. if not... history will happen again.
 
ya snowy, sometimes humans do things which they themselves also didnt expected. and time was pressing and a decision was to be made. i really feel that she do have a nut to crack in herself. though somethings she can face it so properly, but inside her, she cant seem to let it go...

maybe u are right snowy, she is 26yrs old afterall... i believe in karma, what goes around comes around back.
 
ou yihui,

It does not matter the motive. as I said, don't look too much into it. It means nothing. You are just "suspicious".. to make you feel better that "she is bad" so that you can leave her more happily?
 
Why karma? Why think of all this?? I used to belive in Karma also, in the end, Those guys cheated on me, still getting well and even married..

What is most important now is you must treat yourself better, love yourself..

Who knows in a month time/ 2 months, Some girl appear in your life anf you will be blessed cos she is the one who leave you first?
 
karma? Are you vengeful? Why you hope something bad happen to her?

Be a bit more graceful lah.. Wish her the best.. wish her to marry a prince.. As for yourself.. get yourself someone better. Someone that appreciates you better.
 
certain things of what she do and her mum are all obvious. im not saying she is bad. i keep telling myself not to think abt the past memories. the past memories are really hurting to me, and its the most difficult part to forget coz it lives in our mind.

its not the motive issues sm, its just makes me feel, 'oh why it came again'... when i was recovering slowly from it. her mum was crying on the phone and begging me not to contact her.. i told her i didnt contact her anymore. its just a way to make her feel impt and makes me feel unwanted as in their case?
 
im not vengeful, sorry for making u all feel that way.. just hope that after this lesson, i grow more wiser to relationship issues and way of handling..

snowy, i dont dare to think about another relationship though.. rebound relationships are meant not to last long. i dont want to hurt another gal.. i tired it before yrs back and i hurt a gal badly.. so from that time i would not want to do that and would not wish too..
 
again.. you are thinking too much.. don't think.. stop for a moment.

If you are really so perturbed. Change your mobile no.

You kept saying not contacting her.. so JUST STOP IT. Don't have to explain.
 
Sm... hahah.. You are starting to get annnoyed...

Yihui is facing an emotional stuggle now. Be gentle with him la..
 
hais, ya snowy, its really tough not to think abt it sometimes. but ur mind starts to whirl around again with the thoughts...
 
snowy,

Sometimes a slap is better than nice words.. or we just play different roles..

But really no need for him to say sorry. Just get on with his life.. instead of thinking and asking questions.. that has no meaning once the relationship is gone.

He can explore the reasons later when he is less passionate about this relationship.. He will be able to see it more clearly..
 
maybe u r right sm.. sometimes i do think about it but i tell myself not too.. but ur words are sometimes abit hurting... but its ok... my life still has to go on.. no matter what...
 
ou
watever the past is not impt anymore,.no point tinking and living in the past ,u cant change it anyway..look forward and move on..u never knw wats gonna happen next...
 
ya, its true.. just keep the memories in my heart. as u said, the future is unpredictable.. i wouldnt know what is gonna happen next..
 
thats the only way out for me now to move on. dont keep the bad memories. leave the good ones.. ya she is my past... everyone has a past right. so do i and her.. we are an item before, now its not....
 
good memories may eventually fade away when u find the lights thru the tunnel..never let this affect ur life and work,u r still young ,have more confidence in urslf..good luck bro..
 
thanks smileguy and the rest who give me the utmost advice and encourgment. though we dont know each other in real life but the support u all gave me was what i didnt expected...
 
no prob,i believe the rest can give u hundred n thousand of advices but how u gonna to stand up strong n move on its really up to u...
 
advices are everywhere.. its only up to me on how im going to face it.. but i know its tough for me.. may need a longer time for healing...
 
Keep a positive thinking.. You can do it..
happy.gif

Keep yourself occupied. find activities. Dont stay at home and brood. It is not going to help..

Remember, don sms and reply to her if she sms you..

If her mum and and her wana behave childish, let them be, prove it to them you are rational not to play with them
 
she dont even want to contact me. think there is no way to settle unless she contact me if not i really dont know how to deal with it.

as her mum mention, she ask me not to contact heror whatsoever. or just leave it till she contact me?
 
i need some advice, ytd i sent her an email regarding the feelings and thoughts at that time which trigger the downfall of our relationship and also mention abt our a/c issues and all.. this is what she reply me:

till now i still think you haf a split personality. and ive lost all my trust n confidence in u at this moment. alot of things i dun wanna say anymore. i believe we did our best. ending it this way could nt be avoided as well. pls try to believe dat i did try my best to endure all i could.

u n i had our good times. but they are marred with the bad memories. im sorry i cannot be nice to u rite now. i simply cannot.

u juz take care of urself n do wad u shud be doing. as for me, i need to move on as well.

maybe a couple more months down the road, i would be able to contact u haf of cos bring u for porridge. meanwhile, pls take care.
 
yihui, sometimes it good to take a step backwards so that u can move forward in the future. If u force it now, both of u might fall into a cliff. Hope u understand what i means
 
yes, you are .. you are harassing her ..

instead of focusing solely on the a/c issues, you also took the opportunity to involve your emotions into this by talking about the relationship ..

move on ..
 
what im asking is what she meant by that. pls dont say that. im afraid she misunderstood me at that time. so as to clarify some thoughts with her. at that time we had a miscommunication breakdown. which led to unwanted arguments.
 
arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.... the more I read, the more 'pek chek' I become..... U really pain in the neck + in the butt + in the ass!!!!!!!

Before U think U will "die" when she leave U, I can feel that she is Suffocating from your behaviour!!!!

If I am her, I will tell U - Get the hell out of MY WAY... F OFF....... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
Yihui, if you wana know what she meant by that.. as a woman , i am telling you now.. fact the fact.

She is saying she have try her best but cant carry on.. she need to move on and want you to do what you need to do at your end. Who know down the road, when both feelings fade off, you all still can be friends and meet for dinner?

Yihui, You may have your fault and you are trying to salvage this relationship.. but no point.. Cos this is waht i used to write to my ex.. Don have to tell her your feeling or emotions. It is a full stop not a comma , anymore.

If the joint account is alternate account, you can go down and cancel at your end, either way, withdraw your share and ask her to settle herself..

As a woman, i feel irritated by those things. Worst , I hate when he get my parents involced. I rememebr he told me i keep pestering him and he wana call my mum and sis or even my friends to tell me not to msg me, when we are quarreling! he make it he was right when he ask me to fXXk off and go.. and stop disturbing him, when he mentioned stop disturbing him... means not a single sms from me , until he msg me.. if i msg him.. he would say i cant stop talking. imagine how hurt.! so why are u getting yourself hurt over this issue and figuring out what she meant.

Communication breakdown means breakdown.. no trust already, how to carry on?

You need to change your mindset, in your mind, you are thinking , that why this came to an end. why this happened like that, why this become this. she is a nice gal, i cant let her go... i cant find another gal like her. i must have her..

Hey , it time to move on.. For us, we keep advising you not to sms , not to email, keep your mind cool down. know what you want, you refused to listen but keep sinking further and further and making yourself hurt by seeing those email..

It tough, but trust me, one week passed to one month, you think clearly. good luck
 
try to wish her the best of finding some1 she really likes and can be happy with and who can take care of her from the bottom of your heart . , u might feel better than trying to think of getting back with her the whole day

think your head is in a swirl
 


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