Questions to guy

M

ms_eloysious

New Member
Hi,

I have been a silent follower of SG brides for years.I've learn a lot from Powder in the point of career and life.I like the way SM share about his real life experience and how Milo talk about sex.

I am in my early 30's.My husband and i have a bliss marriage w/o children after 3 years of marriage. I am thinking of changing of career and taking up a degree course.Having kids would distract me from doing all these and also my financial restriction won't allow me to have both in the same time,but my biological clock is digging.Powder,if you were in my shoe,how would you weight?What would you think about life w/o children?
SM,if give you a choice again,will you choose not to have children?Are man able to survive if the wife hit menopause and not able to have sex and the husband is in their 50's?Giving birth tend to make women loose down there,how man handle it?
Milo,do you once dream about having sex with other women other than your wife?Or visualize having sex with others after years of marriage?

PLEASE IGNORE MY POST IF IT INDULGE YOUR PRIVACY.

Thanks.
 


duno why your questions need to specific to each individuals.

1) please talk with your partner about your family planning and both short & long term career goals.
2) Men handle their sexuality pretty much throughout their entire lives. At 18 and 80, we still want to pound. Marriage, relationships is unlikely to completely change a man's sexual practices. Menopause doesn't stop sex. If she is dry down there, use lubs. About being loose, there are surgeries to tighten it. Also, there are positions that compensate on the disparity in sizes. Research more on karma sutra.
3) Everyone has fantasies. Marriage doesn't transform our brain right?
 
Ms. it seems like you have no idea what you want. this is not good.

women like your type always in the position of dilemma.

previous generation, they do not weight too much of the pro and con. they use NIKE way, "Just Do it" let it happend then deal with the problems throught out your life cycle either bad or good way. just face it, deal with it and have fun with it.

this is about life, there is no calculation to get the outcome.

&

don't worry about regret. in every life, people always regret in someway. no matter who you are or what you are.

and about discussion, don't use the word "IF", but use the word "WILL". you don't want to live in the fantasy world.

what you have in your head may not be entirely happend.

everybody hate burden, responsiblity, obligation, duty, work , money, time, old and die.

what happend to you it happend to me in the past. think too much out of fear to face it.

just live with problem as a part of your life. you will be just fine.
 
Nothing wrong with taking time to consider your various issues and options in life. We all need to do it from time to time. What's important is you know where you are heading with all these.

You don't take up a degree without a clue on how it will benefit your positioning and advancement in your career. You don't TRY for kids without knowing how it will impact you nor having any readiness in being a parent.

If planning does nothing but make you overwhelm, it only reflects that lack of direction and focus. The JUST DO IT mentality is only applicable after you have decided what you want. At the stage, you don't not let worries hold you back. You should have already figured those out. You don't just whack without direction. Its stupid. Any advise for you to do just that is dumb.
 
Ms Ignorance, indeed, you should bring these questions up with your hubby. So what if Powder, Milo or SM give their two cents worth on whether you should go ahead with your degree or not. Ultimately, you must be able to communicate with your hubby on your future plans. You do sound rather insecure, like almost afraid your hubby will fall for another simply because you're 'loose' down there or you could bear kids for him. I believe men don't love their wives more because they're tight down there or because they bear for him many kids. You almost missed the point on why you two got married in the first place. Isn't it because you two love each other? I like to caution that some couples fell out precisely also because they don't have their own opinions and do not communicate what they want in life with one another. There's always this thing called part-time degree too. Have you explored that option?

Some of the questions which you're asking the men...have you asked your hubby abt it? Have you even tried answering these questions yourself? Can you survive without children? How important is this degree for you? Is it for practical reasons or self-improvement? Does your hubby support it? Or does he prefer to settle down with kids asap? Is your hubby dissatisfied with his sex life with you? If yes, have you two talked about it?

I do hope you realise it's more of you AND your hubby rather than our opinions here at this stage.
 
MS Ignorance,

life without children would be just as pleasurable as life with them, especially your own. thing is, once u know your kids and cradled/nurture them from birth, there is simply no way u're gonna be wondering abt life without them...

sure, we'll have a whole lot more freedon to travel and enjoy a blissful marriage, and perhaps indulge ourselves more!

but it's really tough to forget them once u've met them!

My question to pple pursuing higher learning will always be Purpose.... what is your purpose? too many pple pick higher learning as an excuseto forgive themslves whenthey dun get ahead in their jobs. they lie to themselves tat it's to give themselves better prospects, when perhaps thwy are just escaping reality. Becos it really depends on your intentions, cos there's simply no guarantees.

Instead of change of career, have u considered a change of scope? cos even witha degree, if u still choose to be part of Cost depts instead of profit-generating depts, u might not be better off. u just think u'll be, when u choose to escape via Higher Learning.

if u're financially unable to have kids, i dun think it is paper qualifications that hinder u, but likely to be more than that.

i would weigh personal goals n dreams abv setting up a family, and of cos i'd be totally ok for life without kids. end of the day it's up to us to make a call... becos if we find children to be abit of a hindrance before they're even born, then they're likely to be a bigger burden once they're born.
 
Hi Milo and Powder,

Specially thanks you guys for the reply.Powder your reply really straight to the point.Indeed,my purpose of taking a degree is for better prospects.I was ok with life w/o children but when i get close to my nephew(almost 2 yr old)it kind of made me think twice.
 
i hope u realise by Now... that 'Better Prospects' is relative to the Country/Industry/Scope/Job etc.

we have been ingrained to directly relate academics to prospsect and salary. this has happened, is happening, will always happen. But beyond this very common knowledge and pursuit... What else have u seen in Reality? what else do u see in Reality? who else have u met in Reality who have defied these common thoughts?

life is abt applying what we've learnt and experienced to get Ahead... and this does not just come from school. OF COS - if u're pursuing precise Info/scientific/proven theories to be applied in your scope - then there is No way u can skip this portion. by this i mean docs, lawyers, dentists, architects, researchers etc. this is Knowledge-intensive and u simply cannot skip it.

if u're talking less knowledge-intensive scopes... then what really pulls u thru are the human factors - patience, efficiency, awareness, excellence, EQ, approach+application etc etc.

u need to know what u seek. some pple seek MNCs and nice namecards with impt designations printed on them. they might not even know this is what pleases them... sadly.

for me i'm very focal on money, cutting out the need for anything else secondary. i give myself Alot of self-recognition for the milestones, thus cutting out the need to seek validation & approval from others.

as for your paternal/maternal instincts... observe and see if it continues to kick in. i had the same epiphany at one stage of my life... and i have no regets. i could have carried on as a bachelor living the typical fast car fast women lifestyle which was so easy... but there comes a point where u envision a life where u have kids to worry abt, kids who will eventually bring u out for dim sum in your old age... i guess no amount of women & orgasm can match up to just one kid. i have two...

but u have a choice since u do not know your children yet... and u have a choice not to have them... so choose wisely, or sit on the fence when in doubt. for me there's simply no way i'd choose a bacheloer life having known my kids... and of cos, i have the best partner to share my life with. they make me wanna live longer and be a better man... they appeal to every spiritual aspect of me.
 
Be careful not to assume that somehow a degree will automatically mean better prospects.

If you are making an application as a fresh grad at late 30s to complete with young freshies, then there is nothing to compare. The degree could only add-on to open up opportunities for positions that employers are requiring the degree at the minimum. At our age, we rely alot more on references and experiences than qualifications.
 
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