Problematic Spouse

[confusedchild]

Me and my hubby has been separated for about 2yrs. Ever since our 2nd flat arrived, i moved in alone coz he has another Thai woman and kid outside.
Now he is cuasing me so much problem and im at lost.

1. Used to be his guarantor for his bike and he owe so much that i was issued the writ of summon and it has cuased my credit card to be blacklisted.
If i were to sort out with that company, they requested me to pay for the full amount in order to remove the writ of summon against me.
He had refused to pay for it coz he doesnt care if his credit is been blacklisted.
Is there anyways i can get my name removed without having to help him pay for the amount??

2. He owe quite alot of money in Singapore and has thoughts of running away to hide in Thailand.
As currently im still staying in the house, we decided to wait until MOP up before selling the HDB and divorce.

Once MOP is up, i will sell to open market first than divorce or should i divorce first than sell?

Also, im worried that i could not contact him when it comes to selling and divorcing.
But since by another 3yrs more, we would have separated for at least 5yrs, can i just go ahead to divorce without his consent? Im worried that i could not find him by then.

If i can divorce without his consent, what about the selling of the flat? Do i still require his signature? Or i can sell the hse on my own?

He is really given me nothing but problem, im so glad i have already moved on, but still all the issues are pending and its getting really frustrating.

Please help. Also, i need a really cheap lawyer to handle my case, does anyone has contacts?

 

[scopefun]

1. Write to the bank and try lor... If you are talking about the bike company chasing after you and mess up credit up, then hardly possible. Such companies want money only. And you are the only idiot willing to pay...

2. Best is to sell the flat then divorce to avoid possible 'force-sell' in order to maximise your 'profit'.

After you sold your flat, you can file for divorce if you have separated for 3~4 yrs (assuming he is not contesting). Best get a deed of separation.

However, if he has alot of debt and likes to hide in Thailand... I suggest you let him hide till 3 years and file for divorce under the claim that he has been missing (or runaway spouse). This sort of divorce even if he wants to contest also very hard.

If the HDB is jointly owned, what do you think?

Case: An infilial son wanted to sell HDB who he is sharing with his father, he coned his father to sign, and the father ended up homeless...

Now, my turn to ask...

Why the fug you married a guy who doesn't love you leh??? So funny...

 

[mirrorcelcius]

easy credit is like this,

how do we determine success in Asia ?

-you need to upgrade everything, car house, credit card and so on.

status become life support system one must have in order to survive.

so sad that our life now is being numbered. i could not imagine how much pressure to live in Asia.

living in Antarctica is a good choice, playing with penguin and become Eskimo. haha...

 

[confusedchild]

I didnt want to pay...but do i look like i have a choice? He doesnt care about being blacklisted...but all my credit cards have been stopped by the bank becoz of this stupid writ of summon and if i dont clear, how am i gonna loan from bank in future..

We have been tgt for 11yrs and i was the one who wanted to leave him for a better future but got back tgt with him for a short while and he got himself a Thai girl, i seriously dun give a darn coz i dun have any feelings for him.

Now the only thing i wanna know is how to clear the divorce and bank issue.

Btw, if other company file him for bankruptcy, can he still fled to other countries?

 

[confusedchild]

btw, for a deed of separation, how much does lawyer charge usually?

Also if we sign the deed of separation, do we need to proceed to sell the house or can we still keep the house until we officially divorce? thx

 

[love1111]

My suggestion is seek counsel thru the free legal clinic provided by your MP constituency OR in case of non-exceptance ones the race-based self-help organisation. Which constituency you live and what is your race?

 

[scopefun]

Deed of separation is merely a written contract. Provided you can prove valid, oral agreement is valid too.

Just get a paper, formally type out the details and the separation intent and have both signed it.

Bankruptcy means whenever you want to leave Singapore, BY RIGHT you must apply; by left people can still flee since ICA doesn't seem to keep track of the passport holders' financial status.

In this relationship... or simply fug quest, you also hold very big responsibility things got this way.

 

[confusedchild]

Thx all, will try to seek help from the free legal clinic from aware first.
Most probably will draft out the separation deed, hopefully he sign it.

If he refused to sign it, we are already staying seperately, even though he still didnt change his IC address, how would i be able to proof it? What if he contest it?

 

[scopefun]

Teach you one method lah...

Nowadays, you can secretly video his 'verbal' agreement to separate, or use sms exchanges to prove the 'agreement'.

As long as there is evidence, it'd be a 'deed'. The definition of a 'deed' or official agreement can take a more creative form... based on the legal principles governing all contract laws and marriage laws. After all, the judge only wants an official declaration, on papers, tissue papers or electronic signitures...

Got it?

The no 1 rule... Don't ever marry anyone who can't love you forever.

 

[scopefun]

I always forgot to add this.

If he is seeing the Thai woman after you have sold the flat, there is no need to wait for 3 yrs.
But note that things become complicated if he stops seeing the Thai woman and a length of 6 months pass.

 

[confusedchild]

Thx actually im not selling the flat yet, still going to stay until the MOP is up.

He and the thai woman already customary married in thailand and she already bore him a baby girl..she will come in SG every 2mths..but im not going to file for adultery, i think no point for tat also..

I just wanna divorce smoothly when the time is up.

 

[confusedchild]

If i do not have the deed of separation, how do we proof that we have been separated for 3/4yrs?

Both of us will have to consent to the date of separation will do?

 

[scopefun]

Chey... You DON'T need a deed of separation.

All you need to send the judge is details about the Thai woman and the baby. This infidelity crosses the degree of 'unacceptable behavior' of spouse, and can be used to dissolve the marriage immediately.

The deed was mentioned only assuming that he stopped seeing the Thai woman... bla bla bla.

You don't even need a lawyer to present your case... just get the documents bought from the court, fill them up and get a date to see the judge, and you'd be free.

 

[confusedchild]

ohhhh...serious!! didnt know tat...but no need proof from PI meh?

Can just verbal tell the court about it? They will accept? And if he contest against it how? after all the woman and the child not always in SG...

So what proof should i try to obtain?

 

[scopefun]

If you (eg) feel like there is no love or character crush with the husband, a separation is some sort of 'cooling down' period in the name of 'you solemnly have given it a thot' that he is not the man you want to be p0ked...

But when it comes to your husband fugging other women and even going thru customary marriage and having a child during his marriage to you, this is already beyond 'unacceptable' behavior in Women's Charters. It is classified as serious soft violence. You can opt to forgive or to have the marriage legally desolved.

How do you know about the affair will be how you'd gather 'evidence'. Of course you can't just tell the judge without anything to substantiate. In such case, he hardly can contest lah...

You can 'help' him confess thru sms. Or do a DNA test (cost about a few hundreds) taking a hair from the child. Of cos, you can also hire a PI.

Come on... Do I have to teach you everything? You have a brain, right?

There are many ways to fight in the court. So far... I don't think you need a lawyer. Once infidelity is proven (especially that child), since Women's Charters do not support mulitiple partners, you'd win the case easily. The documents you need to buy from the courts are like about $500. If you engage a lawyer, it can be anything about $1800, and they will likely tell you the same thing I am telling you.

Of course, you can always try legal aid. Your choice.

In case you decide to represent yourself, just know that marriage laws is about Women's Charters and legal principles.

But pls prepare a 'course' or a base of accusation. Infidelity with that child will be enough.

If you are gathering 'proof' of his infidelity, you MUST let him declare officially or seriously, and there must be the existence of his adultery and the bastard. Otherwise, that'd be false allegations. Under the contract laws principles, and the newly amended electronic evidence laws...

Please be creative.