chaoticresolves
New Member
Hi all,
I am getting married in another month or so. But recently I am encountering this issue with my own mother.
As I am pregnant our wedding was done in a rush, initially didn't want to hold any banquet, and just wanted a simple ROM lunch but my In-Laws insisted on doing a small banquet so we went along with them.
Anyway, we have booked for 10 tables at Park Royal on Pickering. Banquet Lunch. We decided not to follow any customary or guo da li or gatecrash as it would be too much of a hassle and cause I am afraid that I will be too tired. Everyone agreed on this.
1 month ago, my in-laws asked me to ask my mum if she wanted any "pin jing" and my mum said no so we took it as that. She only asked for 1 more extra table for her to invite her colleagues (which she insisted she wanted to even when I told her that our wedding banquet we would not be inviting those people whom we are not close with and only within the family and relatives themselves) ; which I have already told her that since she wants 1 more table we are agree-able HOWEVER the red packets from the table would have to come back to my husband and me as we were taking the banquet money out of our own pockets. She agreed as well.
That's when the whole saga started.
Yesterday, I texted her to ask her to confirm on the names of the colleagues (10 of them) that she is inviting. I told her that I needed it so my sisters know how to direct them to their correct table during the reception. She told me that there was no need for that and I can just give her the table number so she would just ask them to go into the ballroom and take seats at their respective table. I told her and reminded her once more that the red packets would come back to us and she started arguing.
She said BY LAW - red packets from my relatives side and her friends table should all go to her since she did not receive any "pin jing" from my in-laws. I proceeded to argue with her insisting that she AGREED on the no pin jing and also agreed on the ang baos to come back to us and she straight away told me that if I did not acceed to her request she will not be attending my wedding.
Sigh. Please tell me what should I do to get through to her.
The banquet alone costs about 15K and the whole wedding including dress, photography etc., my husband is paying for it and yet I feel my mum is just trying to earn money off my wedding. We never intend to take back 100% of the banquet money from the red packets but at least enough so we can also save up for the coming baby, check ups and hospital bills.
Anyone experienced the same issue previously? Please help to advise.
I am getting married in another month or so. But recently I am encountering this issue with my own mother.
As I am pregnant our wedding was done in a rush, initially didn't want to hold any banquet, and just wanted a simple ROM lunch but my In-Laws insisted on doing a small banquet so we went along with them.
Anyway, we have booked for 10 tables at Park Royal on Pickering. Banquet Lunch. We decided not to follow any customary or guo da li or gatecrash as it would be too much of a hassle and cause I am afraid that I will be too tired. Everyone agreed on this.
1 month ago, my in-laws asked me to ask my mum if she wanted any "pin jing" and my mum said no so we took it as that. She only asked for 1 more extra table for her to invite her colleagues (which she insisted she wanted to even when I told her that our wedding banquet we would not be inviting those people whom we are not close with and only within the family and relatives themselves) ; which I have already told her that since she wants 1 more table we are agree-able HOWEVER the red packets from the table would have to come back to my husband and me as we were taking the banquet money out of our own pockets. She agreed as well.
That's when the whole saga started.
Yesterday, I texted her to ask her to confirm on the names of the colleagues (10 of them) that she is inviting. I told her that I needed it so my sisters know how to direct them to their correct table during the reception. She told me that there was no need for that and I can just give her the table number so she would just ask them to go into the ballroom and take seats at their respective table. I told her and reminded her once more that the red packets would come back to us and she started arguing.
She said BY LAW - red packets from my relatives side and her friends table should all go to her since she did not receive any "pin jing" from my in-laws. I proceeded to argue with her insisting that she AGREED on the no pin jing and also agreed on the ang baos to come back to us and she straight away told me that if I did not acceed to her request she will not be attending my wedding.
Sigh. Please tell me what should I do to get through to her.
The banquet alone costs about 15K and the whole wedding including dress, photography etc., my husband is paying for it and yet I feel my mum is just trying to earn money off my wedding. We never intend to take back 100% of the banquet money from the red packets but at least enough so we can also save up for the coming baby, check ups and hospital bills.
Anyone experienced the same issue previously? Please help to advise.