Need help for solution for getting my $$ back...

M

memories03

New Member
REcently,i into annulment with my ex husband.. we agree that we wil split the cost of the legal fees.. Now he is is telling mi that he has no $$$ to pay.. actually i already pay the full amt but i dun wish to let him know cause i afraid he dun pay... My lawyer agree to collect on behalf but will charge mi interest if he drag more den 1 yr... i offer 6 monthly installment but he still say he cant afford to pay..
Anyone can offer solution in how i can i get back my $$$..
 


I don't believe in spending more money to recover money I don't know if I could recover.

How much in legal fees does he owe you? Does it set you back a great deal in lifestyle if you do not have this amount back?

I know it is a matter of principle but sometimes in life we can't be so hung up on everything. You decide what you want to focus on and what makes you happy.
 
Yes, agree with Doll.

If he really cannot afford to pay, just let it be. You have been in love with him once and just treat it as you are helping a friend.

If he wilfully doesn't want to pay, you can still let him be. Tell yourself and show him that you have a bigger heart than him.
 
i not try to make things difficult.. the problem is he got the money, is just that he dun wan to pay. Because of he not paying, i cant proceed with the legal papers, end up i secretly pay in full without informing him.. He is the one making difficult for mi. He possessed my passport and other stuffs and didnt wan to to return..I dun think i have the "bigger heart " to do it..
 
I'm not sure if it would be worth the mental strain of second-guessing his intention and reaction at each stage of your attempt to pursue payment.

If he is truly unable to pay, letting him off would be an act of goodwill / kindness.

If he is able but unwilling to pay, letting him off may feel like a loss but could also be viewed as an opportunity to "open your eyes further" on his character(somewhat a lack of integrity?) and move on with your life.

Just some thoughts for consideration.
 
Memories, you need to decide if you are making things difficult for yourself instead when you can't let go of that $1.8K. Though it isn't exactly a small amount, it is not a big amount that can't be written off, and which warrants you to incur further legal cost to recover that sum of money.
 
i got 30k of uncollected debts which i have written off...

the problems with debts is not the debt itself, it's the fact that we keep trying to consider it Our money. when it's actually lost money and bad debt. it should be written off...

most times, it's becos pple dun wanna pay or feel justified not to pay... it doesn't matter. fact remains u'll not be getting the money back, so just Move forward.
 
What principle are we talking about?

We pay because we want to be happy so that we can move on.

Initially my wife wanted to file for divorce.. but she has been dragging her feet.. sometimes citing no money when the next moment she can change to a bigger car.

Then I told her I file for divorce and we split the cost.. she said ok. But when I got to the lawyers office, I find myself so cheapskate.. so I told her.. I pick up the bill lah.. just a little money.. what principle are we talking about.
 
SM, I think the "principles" the threadstarter was talking about is the agreement to spilt cost; so both parties should honour the agreement.

But then again, didn't they initially agree to marry and intend to honour that agreement for life? What's happened to that agreement? So, I agree with you, that being flexible and adaptable is far more important than sticking to one's principles. We can insist in our principles but the world doesn't revolve around us.
 
If we want to talk about promises and committment.. then as you said, the marriage would still be intact?

Ha ha.. since the marriage is gone.. why hold on to such "agreement" of to split the cost. But I can understand as initially when I filed, I thought of splitting the cost as well. But when I went to the lawyer office, I simply laugh it off. What is the 1k plus? And it can get us unhappy? I rather give it to her and be happy.
 
I not making difficulities for myself.. I not trying to be cheapskate or wat , this is $$ issue... Since the marriage is gone, we should do thing clear cut , not making either party unhappy...In the first place, if i cant afford to pay for him the other half, the lawyer will not proceed on.. U may say i stubborn but i jus wan to be fair right this moment that we split the cost equally.. anyway i spoke to him that he will pay mi $200/month till next yr June.. i dun wan to force him, if not i cant get back my $$$.. After all the legal papers will be given to mi... He will be given upon payment in full... (i still considering NOT to give him back)...
 
it's your money and u want it back, fair enough, but you decide what would upset u more, 1.frustration from the long process of chasing him to pay up or 2."unfairness"
If u forsee enough stress from (1)and want to avoid it at all costs, then your cost is limited to $1800.
If u die die wanna get it back becoz of "principle" and "unfairness" would make u that unhappy, u can seek help from those agencies that have their own ways of getting your money back for u. That would mean spending more money to get your money back.
U've worked out a monthly payment with him, so if he defaults? Do u want to get frustrated every month for the next 9 months (or longer) when he doesn't pay up as he said he would? U decide. Good luck
 
If he agreed to pay you by installment every month then is fine liao.. but if he default on the payment.. then how?

Anyway, I believe you are the one who file for divorce and engage a lawyer right? So rightfully you should foot the bill else your lawyer won't proceed. He may have agreed to foot half the bill but I am not sure how you can enforce it he is not paying.
 
i am the one who who file for divorce.. the reason i file cos i can stand him not working for 1/2 yr.. anyway maybe u guys r right, whether he pay or not, after all i still will proceed with the papers and pay the fees.. if he pay , it benfits mi, if not den too bad lor.. The final paper will be given to mi and maybe i will use tat as a exchange for the legal fees...
thanks for all everyone for yr advices
 
Esther,

do u mind sharing with me how did u managed to get your marriage Annulled?

I want an Annulment but my hubby threatens me with lots of things which I cant stand it.

All he cares is abt his PR and wants assurance from both the lawyer and myself that nothing will happen to him in future, if we do the Annulment.
 
Hi memories03,

He just gotten his PR in July09 under my sponsorship and he is so afraid that he will loose his PR if we do an annulment.
 
my husband is just being unreasonable.....just for the sake of his PR, he threatens me all sorts of things when he himself does not realised that after so many years he has not been treating me good, that's for sure.

Only when he wants something that benefits him then he will be nice with me. I don know how I stand him for so many years. Things got worst after our marriage, I felt that I have been made used of.

Frankly speaking, he has been living off me for so many years and now giving me all his debts to bear. I get abused at times, but I do not know why I still carry on with the relationship until marriage.
 
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