I started to notice the tell-tale signs sometime in March this year. He started to come home late for the whole week, sometimes with sms citing dinner or working late, sometimes nothing. Then on Friday, I noticed that he carried his mobile phone into the toilet to bathe and suspected something amiss.
On one Saturday morning, while I accompanied DS to an CCA competition, I received a SMS that he has to go to somewhere for “company assignment”. This arose my suspicion further caused he never have the habit of reporting his whereabouts to me in detail.
When I reach home with DS in the afternoon, I went to search his room. Found a movie payment indicating lover seat and a paper scribbled with few female perfume brand names. Deep inside me, I was angry cos’ he always tell me he has no money for the household but now he can spend $$ to please that woman. I sms-ed him what time is he leaving(from his assignment) and he replied to ask why. This is also quite unlikely of him to ask me, normally he will just replied with some timings. I also remembered that DS said there is an “auntie” who played in the online game maple with both of them quite often and hubby also met her before in few of the gatherings. Suspecting that she is the one, I told myself, I must get hold of his phone without alerting him.
So, at about 4 plus in the morning, I crept into his room and ran through his sms and with trembling hands, I discovered his infidelity…SMS exchanges from a “her” with sweet honey, I miss you, hugs, good nights and some “caring” messages. Now thinking back, it may not be only one, cos’ TOW actually ask him to enjoy his “paktoh” cos she cannot met him and another sms asking why P is not seeing “her” (who is the her? Another woman?)
Engaging PI will not be an option cos it caused money and time to gather the “evidence”. Letting him to continue the relationship and hopefully he will initiate a divorce will also take time and what if he started flirting with other gals as well. Without delay, I woke him and asked him “You are seeing another women, right?”. He knew that he cannot hide it and admitted but said that he is “not committed” and they have been out only for 3 times and nothing happened between them. The woman is indeed the online gamer from Maple and she is in her 30s and married with children too. Nothing came out of the 3 hours of conversation. He still tried to avoid some questions and said that he will try to reduce the time playing in the game and will play from 10pm to 2am instead. He also promised not to see that woman anymore. He refused a divorce saying that it is not what he wanted. I then asked him what is it that he want, he kept silent. In the end, I asked him to think over seriously and I will talk to him again.
He then erased all the mushy smses and infront of him, I called her. She answered but must be shocked to hear a woman’s voice and wanted to give excuse that “she” is not around. I told her to skip all that craps cos’ hbby has admitted. She then agreed to talk and said they only went out once or twice only for movies or have meal together, and nothing else.
Anyway, I told her I am going ahead to divorce my husband and they can still see each other if they want and my last words before I end the conversation, I told her to think about her family and children first before engaging in this infidelity. I also broke down infront of him in the end asking why he has to do that to me and to the family. He remained silent, still refusing to open up to talk most of the time.
I told him that he has done something wrong and there is not even a word of apology and he has broken his marriage vows.
Finally he agreed to sign on the DOS, but not divorce. I ask him why but there was no answer. I ask him whether he will mend the relationship during the three years but no answer. I ask him what he wants to do during and after the three years and there was no answers either. (sigh)…
Until now, he is still maintaining a "relationship" with TOW in the online game and chatting online...what should I do??!!!
On one Saturday morning, while I accompanied DS to an CCA competition, I received a SMS that he has to go to somewhere for “company assignment”. This arose my suspicion further caused he never have the habit of reporting his whereabouts to me in detail.
When I reach home with DS in the afternoon, I went to search his room. Found a movie payment indicating lover seat and a paper scribbled with few female perfume brand names. Deep inside me, I was angry cos’ he always tell me he has no money for the household but now he can spend $$ to please that woman. I sms-ed him what time is he leaving(from his assignment) and he replied to ask why. This is also quite unlikely of him to ask me, normally he will just replied with some timings. I also remembered that DS said there is an “auntie” who played in the online game maple with both of them quite often and hubby also met her before in few of the gatherings. Suspecting that she is the one, I told myself, I must get hold of his phone without alerting him.
So, at about 4 plus in the morning, I crept into his room and ran through his sms and with trembling hands, I discovered his infidelity…SMS exchanges from a “her” with sweet honey, I miss you, hugs, good nights and some “caring” messages. Now thinking back, it may not be only one, cos’ TOW actually ask him to enjoy his “paktoh” cos she cannot met him and another sms asking why P is not seeing “her” (who is the her? Another woman?)
Engaging PI will not be an option cos it caused money and time to gather the “evidence”. Letting him to continue the relationship and hopefully he will initiate a divorce will also take time and what if he started flirting with other gals as well. Without delay, I woke him and asked him “You are seeing another women, right?”. He knew that he cannot hide it and admitted but said that he is “not committed” and they have been out only for 3 times and nothing happened between them. The woman is indeed the online gamer from Maple and she is in her 30s and married with children too. Nothing came out of the 3 hours of conversation. He still tried to avoid some questions and said that he will try to reduce the time playing in the game and will play from 10pm to 2am instead. He also promised not to see that woman anymore. He refused a divorce saying that it is not what he wanted. I then asked him what is it that he want, he kept silent. In the end, I asked him to think over seriously and I will talk to him again.
He then erased all the mushy smses and infront of him, I called her. She answered but must be shocked to hear a woman’s voice and wanted to give excuse that “she” is not around. I told her to skip all that craps cos’ hbby has admitted. She then agreed to talk and said they only went out once or twice only for movies or have meal together, and nothing else.
Anyway, I told her I am going ahead to divorce my husband and they can still see each other if they want and my last words before I end the conversation, I told her to think about her family and children first before engaging in this infidelity. I also broke down infront of him in the end asking why he has to do that to me and to the family. He remained silent, still refusing to open up to talk most of the time.
I told him that he has done something wrong and there is not even a word of apology and he has broken his marriage vows.
Finally he agreed to sign on the DOS, but not divorce. I ask him why but there was no answer. I ask him whether he will mend the relationship during the three years but no answer. I ask him what he wants to do during and after the three years and there was no answers either. (sigh)…
Until now, he is still maintaining a "relationship" with TOW in the online game and chatting online...what should I do??!!!
