Malay Customs

[13greens]

I dont quite understand. What exactly is a Promise Ring?

 

[sgbabydoll]

Engagement ring? Just guessing.....Maybe Cuc can help?

 

[13greens]

Sorry im a newbie. Whats Cuc?

 

[cuclainne]

never heard of such a thing - you sure it's a malay custom?

 

[delin88]

Promise rings can be given for almost any type of promise made and nd not be limited to promises made for engagement or weddings.

Is just like commitment between two people.

If malay custom, only Engagement Ring like any other races...

 

[cuclainne]

cuc is me la ..

 

[13greens]

I'm not too sure myself actually.
My bf's parents are coming over for the first time to meet my parents. Just to make it 'official' that we are going out. You know things like that. So he wants to come over with a ring - as a gift. Is that a promise ring? Just wondering..

 

[13greens]

OH HAHA. Sorry Cuc! heh..

 

[cuclainne]

i don't think you call it a promise ring .. it's more like engagement la ..

 

[delin88]

u chinese?

i think..is like Pre-engagement promise rings to be given when two individuals have decided that they will be getting engaged and then married in the future...so the rest closest will know ure attached.

 

[13greens]

Nope, Im Malay. See thats the thing. I dont actually not quite sure if this ring thing exist. I mean of coz no rules to it. Maly would call it "adat" I guess. But not a must isnt it?
Hhhmm. It actually leads to whether or not to get an expansive rings or just you know simple ones..

 

[cuclainne]

when my husband first told my parents of his intention, he didn't bring a ring - would have been a bit weird, especially since i've just met him in person like two weeks before.

but after that, he gave me an engagement ring and subsequently we exchanged wedding bands on our wedding day. usually the engagement ring is more expensive than the wedding band but this is really dependent on your finances la.

 

[sgbabydoll]

In a relationship officially must exchange rings?

 

[cuclainne]

for malay customs, i think so .. usually the groom-to-be will send a representative of the family - could be his parents, his uncle/ auntie, etc .. to come over to speak to the girls' parents or their representative and inform them of the groom's intentions of marriage. if the girl's side is agreeable, then they will accept the ring from the guy's side.

 

[janie_wawa]

tis only happen IF they have the intention of getting married? OR they have to do tis even if they r juz dating?? like a 'notice' to her parents tat their daughter is currently attached? juz curious abt different customs.....

 

[cuclainne]

if they are just dating, the guy can just come over to introduce himself to the family but if he's got intentions to marry, then he needs to send a 'party' over for 'discussions and negotiations' .. lol ..

 

[cuclainne]

janie, engagement in malay culture

 

[sgbabydoll]

"if they are just dating, the guy can just come over to introduce himself to the family"

Is this a pre-engagement or pre-marital custom, or as long as it is an official relationship it must be done?

 

[cuclainne]

traditionally, a guy is suppose to ask for 'permission' to date the girl .. nowadays this is not so common - it's usually after they've started dating that they are then introduced to the family.

 

[13greens]

Heyy. Thanks everyone!
Hmm. Just nervous now. They coming over this weekend.. Besides, i would love a ring thou!! hahaah.

 

[cuclainne]

well, just enjoy the moment la .. congrats btw.

 

[13greens]

THANK YOU!