Maintenance of parent act

[Freedomawaits]

Hi ppl, i sincerely hope that someone read this post and give me some advice and their thoughts of my situation.

My father is a manipulator cum complusive gambler who mistreats my mum and his children. Even though he provided us the money to education but he was always in abusive mode. He likes to abuse us with profanities. Whenever we need him, he is always the first to escape responsibility. for the past 20 years, he treated us as investments to him. Whenever there is a problem he will use depression as an excuse. So we are very afraid of him as he always gets the last laugh.Because of the constant threats, my mum decided to divorce him.. He agreed to divorce but disagree to give my mum any matrimonial assets n alimony. And Just this month, me and my brother received a notification from MSF. My father used his depression and sue us for Maintenance. We were really disappointed in him. According the the rules by maintenance of Parents act, the tribunal can dismiss / withdraw the case if we can prove we are neglected or abuse when we were young. But as you know, we were young, how do we get prove? Does verbal statement considered as proof? I myself have gotten a Personal protection Order last year as he hit me on my back. Is this really helpful? Please advise. Me and my family are totally drained from this.

 

[imcoffeelover]

a lawyer will be able to advice you better than we can.

 

[verysadguy]

Verbal statement would help a little but since you have stated that your father has paid for your education, it does show that he has at least help a little in the family and it's not total neglect. Sometimes the courts also have to understand the rationale behind his irresponsibility. You may be required to pay a little of his maintenance.

 

[Freedomawaits]

@verysadguy Yup, sadly he won.. He will be receiving maintenance from us. Even the officer also know he's play acting.. But sadly, Black and white wins this case. We just got to S* it up and pay. Now we are worried about the division of matrimonial assets. He told us that he agreed to divorce my mum and he is very cocky, he said he will never sell his flat away and my mum will not receive a single cent from the sale of HDB flat. But i read somewhere that if the flat is joint-tenancy, my mum is allowed to get part of the assets. Or is it possible that he knew but he trying to scare us? He's really manipulative. Pls advise. Lastly, i can only say that we are unlucky to have such a father. We can't choose where we want to be born.

 

[verysadguy]

@verysadguy Yup, sadly he won.. He will be receiving maintenance from us. Even the officer also know he's play acting.. But sadly, Black and white wins this case. We just got to S* it up and pay. Now we are worried about the division of matrimonial assets. He told us that he agreed to divorce my mum and he is very cocky, he said he will never sell his flat away and my mum will not receive a single cent from the sale of HDB flat. But i read somewhere that if the flat is joint-tenancy, my mum is allowed to get part of the assets. Or is it possible that he knew but he trying to scare us? He's really manipulative. Pls advise. Lastly, i can only say that we are unlucky to have such a father. We can't choose where we want to be born.

Yes. For joint tenancy, it would be 50-50 after the divorce unless your mum did not help in maintaining the flat. It is also dependent on how much your dad has paid for the flat. If he does not want to pay a single cent, you would have to engage a lawyer to fight the case. Most probably would win due to Women Charter but you and your mum and siblings need to find another place to stay after selling the house and need to fork out the lawyer fee. One session of court is $5000 exclude lawyer fee and GST. Alternatively, both your dad and mum can go for arbitration. It would be about $500 but not easy to reach a consensus.

 

[Freedomawaits]

@verysadguy Thanks for the details. And I'm relieved after reading your statement. My mum did not manage to pay the monthly houseloans nor Conservancy fees as she needs to look after us and she has no income.Great, as long as there's a chance to win, we wont give up. You see, we have a lawyer to help us with all these matters and i would say she is very shrew n smart, extremely good in words. But she doesn't ask and say much.We are now in between the first and 2nd stage of the divorce process, that is my father agreed to divorce my mum but does not agree to the matrimonial assets. And the lawyer has sent out the affidavit to dissolve the marriage as well as opening a trial for the division of assets.Wow, that's exp. Mine charged me $2500 for filing of divorce. As now, it may be considered as contested divorce, i think we might need to pay another $2500 to complete the ancillary matters.

 

[life_is]

Yes. For joint tenancy, it would be 50-50 after the divorce unless your mum did not help in maintaining the flat. It is also dependent on how much your dad has paid for the flat. If he does not want to pay a single cent, you would have to engage a lawyer to fight the case. Most probably would win due to Women Charter but you and your mum and siblings need to find another place to stay after selling the house and need to fork out the lawyer fee. One session of court is $5000 exclude lawyer fee and GST. Alternatively, both your dad and mum can go for arbitration. It would be about $500 but not easy to reach a consensus.

Joint tenancy doesn't mean 50-50. CPF contributions from both sides will be looked at. In this case, the wife may not get much. Try to get it sorted via mediation instead of in court. If possible at all, create voice recordings of conversations with him to see if it is possible to prove that he is lying. Anyway, important to make sure you and siblings are not severely affected by this divorce. At least got to make sure you get through the education system. Otherwise, it will be stressful for your mother in future, given that she has not worked the past years. Start looking for MPs to help apply for housing as well. Will be a rough road ahead.

 

[verysadguy]

Joint tenancy doesn't mean 50-50. CPF contributions from both sides will be looked at. In this case, the wife may not get much. Try to get it sorted via mediation instead of in court. If possible at all, create voice recordings of conversations with him to see if it is possible to prove that he is lying. Anyway, important to make sure you and siblings are not severely affected by this divorce. At least got to make sure you get through the education system. Otherwise, it will be stressful for your mother in future, given that she has not worked the past years. Start looking for MPs to help apply for housing as well. Will be a rough road ahead.

I would think the wife would get more. Yes, CPF contribution would be looked at but don't forget the courts also take into consideration the intangible contributions from the wife and how she has helped to maintain the house. Not forgetting that the courts would consider the wife and kids first. If the wife got custody of the kids, then I am sure the father would get much lesser. our laws are pretty biased towards the men.

 

[Freedomawaits]

@verysadguy and @life_is Really appreciate the comments from you guys. We hope we can get at least 30% of his assets.. As this is also a long marriage (More than 30years), i personally feel the judge will be lenient towards us?? If not, whatever we done will be flushed down into the drain. We do not have any video recordings and my father has been certified with depression.( Shame on him for malingering). However I have a PPO against my father of physical abuse while my mum is seeking a psychiatrist to analyze her state of emotion due to psychological abuse. I hope these documents will help us in the splitting of matrimonial assets procedure.