M i losing him?

my bf now hubby used to be like tat. my 2 cents.

i think basically you are not his priority.. hence he knows tat he can happily fall asleep n be late, and altho u are not so okay with it, u will still be okay in the end... basically u let him do this to u... so whenever he feels tired, he jus doze off... without thinking. wake up already, late already then feel bad... but i think he knows he can get away with it.. we all do that sometimes rite... ??

so i suggest, u tell him, u will wait for him for x mins... say 20 mins. if he dont turn up, u would then do your own things and he would then miss the chance to meet u... say it n mean it, and do it. u do that a few times... i can guarantee that he wouldnt be late anymore...

U need to respect your own time... if not, he will not respect. u know wat i mean??
 


"it is somehow difficult for me to take the reason of oversleeping"

Difficult? Face it, it is happening. Either you learn to cope it and encourage him to improve or you find someone else. Its really this simple. All these finding hard to accept doesn't change things really. No point struggling with that.
 
duckweed: at times, guys dun think too much into things, unlike gals.. that's the difference.. Hmm.. I am sure you matters to him too and if it happens only once or twice, perhaps jus let go of it?
 
"Try to put in my best effort into this relationship, and (touch wood) even if its din work out, at least i wont hv any regrets."

Duckweed, does it mean that you think you haven't put in enough effort previously? I think your answer would likely be a "NO". So, you really have to ask yourself if things will improve with you continuing to put in the same amount of or even more efforts ever.

What kind of efforts you have to put in? Get a few alarm clocks for him? Give him reminders on appointments with phone calls or SMS? Well, once or twice is OK but it may end up your responsibility to ensure that he keeps his appointments with you. Do you like yourself doing that in the long run?

We can't live our own lives and at the same time our partner's life on their behalf, ensuring that they do what they have. Not for a long-term basis. He has to take responsibility somewhere.
 
Continuing from above.....

I am not discouraging you from trying out things suggested in earlier posts like getting him a few alarm clocks and giving reminders on appointments. But you need to know when it becomes too much for yourself to take on.

Now, coming to how many times to meet per week.....instead of having him to commit upfront, could it be resolved with whenever you feel like meeting him you ask him out?
 
Agree with Doll: one of the adv, it wun becm a rountine for the both of you..
happy.gif
 
Faith share leh, if "Mon, Wed & Fri and meet on both Weekend" won't it be too routine and end up bored as maybe there will be no place to visit.

I often do not know where to bring my gf to as SG very small..

that why i always end up bring them home to watch DVD.
 
My RS just ended. but somehow i find SG quite small. really need more idea.
its like hort park, Keppel bay, i even travel overseas with her. Really need more idea where to go.
 
PT, i got myself a 1 TB of hard disk from Comex, thus i guess it shld be enuff of library.

--ok lah, we still seeing each other as friends, eating dinner and maybe movie. but just character compatibility not there.
 
Mark,
No wonder your relationships ended so fast lah. You were too stingy on hard disk space!

Maybe u can consider opening a DVD rental shop after your fortune-telling business fails LOL. U can apply for some funding from SPRING since it's in line with PAP's baby campaign.
 
Mark,
So far we are happy with this routine, bored? As long as you enjoy each other accompany where you go does it matter?? Other than going out there are things which couples can do together. explore ya...

Duckweed,
Glad that you know what to do ya, ytd is a history, tml is a future, today is present
so treasure now. fill up your spirit with positive thoughts...
 
Pt thanks for your advice. i guess i need to find something to spice up the future courtship.

Faith23, hmm.. explore ok. i guess i will need to learn to explore my next partner more.
 
haha .. just talking from experience la .. after being 14yrs in a relationship (7yrs dating + 7yrs marriage) .. can you imagine???!
 
Mark,
I enjoy understanding my partner interests and hobbies. Explore in this area if you are keen. Got to be enjoying yourself rather than forcing yourself to do it.
 
Exploring can be interesting in the beginning. After some years, the relationship would change from one that is full of new interesting things to discover to a companionship. Our lives with our mates will be so integrated that its part of us. The closeness is like a family.

I enjoy quality time with family not to explore their interests but really appreciating each other. Be it relaxing and doing nothing or any interest or activity. What really keeps it enjoyable is not so much the activity alone. Even no activity can be enjoyable. Just relaxing and being ourselves completely. Winding & slowing down from the hectic work life.

If we need to keep finding new ideas to keep life the relationship interesting, then sometimes, it is the activities and not the relationship that is what keep it going.
 
Understanding each other interests is only part of it, enjoy that is becos I find it will draw each other closer rather than living in a different world for each other. It is not a forever stage in a relationship to explore. Understand each other, appreciating each other, relax with each other, not taking each other for granted, accept each other flaw and beauty and many many things to explore and improve in a relationship or marriage and is endless becos human will change in different situation (that is only my own view)
 
think it's great to have all these level of understanding and thoughts on a relationship... But i think we should Not lose focus on other aspects, which often seems to take a backseat with some/most pple. sometimes i get this feeling that life seems to just revolve around a relationship... i hope it's just me, and not cos some/most are just working for sustenance and putting a large amount of time into a relationship. Love is wonderful, but it's not the only aspect in life we should put our efforts into... eating our favourite food everyday may not be healthy...
 
milo - Me agree to some of your points..

For me, there is no need to behave like a leech that stick to my partner.. Both of us need privacy & time for our family and friends. Even a day out alone to library or shopping is "shiok".....

To include him or myself in every single events in life, it will suffocate both of us... There is No Life at All.... There is No Need to meet everyday for lunch, dinner or shopping.. We will be seeing each other in bed "every day" after our Customary... hehehe... I simply cannot understand why some people MUST meet everyday... *fainted*..

To me, if every single event we must have each other by the side, I find that there will be no more "Xing Xian Gan" and "Yearning" towards this relationship... Super Sianzzzzz.... Must strike balance =)

I agreed to spending Quality Time then Quantity Time.. However, it may be good to actually know more about the partner's hobbies. U never know U pick up the same hobby after exploring. Another common topic to share... =)
 
Iris, if there are common interests, its good but no need to force ourselves to participate and be really into each others interests.

e.g. I love to enjoy good food with my loved ones. At work, I can eat the same food daily, its okie. That is only to fulfill my hunger. IMHO, a waste of time and good food to fine dine alone.

But, I don't need my wife to be a football fan or be a bowler. I encourage her to exercise more for her own health than companionship. I'm doing fine working out alone in the gym, practising my bowling alone or watching football with my buddies.

This exploration should be something natural and not forced upon. as faith put it "Got to be enjoying yourself rather than forcing yourself to do it". Powder is right on the balance in life. Love & family is only one part of us.
 
Alamak... of coz cannot force lah... Zzzzzzzzz..... I will ask the person "Ki Si".. wahahaha... What I mean is "one never know before one tried"...
 
Iris,
"leech"
~LOL~

If the gal is Megan Fox or Ling Chiling, I bet the guys enjoy being leeched of time, $$$ and more. Well the guys with celebrity beauties always have established career and wealth to begin with.
 
Duckweed, kinda ironic that some married couples are trying to break away from a routine while some unmarried couples are trying to build a routine? Try to be flexible. Not as if he isn't meeting you at all, or that when he isn't with you he is up to no good. Yah?
 
true.. if the gal is megan fox i will be meeting green and guys liao.. legs will be too weak too even more.

Yeah.. too routine kill brain cells leh....
 
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