Is this Love?

F

farrakllivecouk

New Member
i have been contacting a former classmate that i have never met for over 5 years. we exchanged text messages and had only 1 very long phonecall in the night. i find myself always wanting to communicate with him but the thing is, we have never met recently. i think im falling for him but i also feel that it is rather platonic. what should i do?
 


it's just the excitement of catching up with a long-lost friend.....

enjoy the current moments, and don't over-read things for now.
 
start by asking him out... no harm trying
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The feeling of something new & exploring it can be sparkling as you never tried that before. Listen to your heart carefully & know what you want in LOVE~~
 
I don't think it is so much on love, but more on the "fresh" and "excitement" feeling to catching up and knowing a "new" person. Take it slow, understand the person more..
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whether or not it is love, time will tell... no harm meeting up and getting in touch with another friend... dont think too much about whether it is love or not.
 
oh yah, its love. That's what you want to hear really.

But quite frankly, its more emotions, attraction than love. Love is much more than emotions alone.
 
icy baby, how do u differentiate love with infatuation?

Infatuation is really physical. Not necessary on the sexual level. But the chemical in the brain to make someone feel really good and 'in love'. This is what make the BGR love different from other relationships.

But love matures and grows with time. Its much more than the initial sparks and feeling good. Its the connection, trust and integration of 2 lives. To me, love has to be nurture and grown. The initial sparks gives the motivation to start. But beyond that, it is the love the pulls us through and keep us going. Emotions alone can't do that.
 
thx to all and milo. but now there has been some development. he has stopped all communication. i don't know why. even when i try to contact him, there is no response. i feel so empty all of a sudden. any idea what is going on?
 
he wasn't really that into you in the first place. now that he realises that you didn't feel the same way, he's keeping his distance.
 
it was probably just too fast, too soon .. after all, you weren't in contact for 5 years and all of the sudden, you want a relationship? enough to scare anyone away ..
 
i have never said i wanted anything of that sort. we communicated as friends. i just feel that a sudden stop is so nerve-wrecking, like i've lost someone. how could a friendly person scare someone away?
 
Sometimes, one can feel the initiatives taken by the other party tends to be too close for comfort. Hence, they retreat and take a step back. The comfort level of individual is subjective. You might not realised but probably you had crossed his line.
 
Some possibilities:-
1) You misread his friendiness and he is sensing it. i.e. he has no intention to get into a relationship with u. He might be seeing / interested in someone else or have no relationship intention / chemical sparks for u romantically.
2) You are too direct for his comfort and scaring him off.
3) He suddenly realizes too his attraction for u but committed in another relationship hence pulling away.
4) He is just busy / overseas / no access to his mobile. e.g. reservist.
 
how long ago since last contact? u sound ok yesterday... ONE day?

if really stop all contact, then too bad, he just lose you as a friend...
 
oh well. i guess i'll just let it be then. can't do anything abt it anyway. i must have given him the wrong idea one way or another. but its just sad that our friendship has been tarnished. thx to all for helping me in this matter
 
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