dorabutter
New Member
Hi All,
Does anyone know how to stop bullying in the workplace?
Does anyone know how to stop bullying in the workplace?
Insults
- Thread starter dorabutter
- Start date
miloice
Well-Known Member
Do nothing. No need to participate in their stupid talks. Seems to me to be nothing more than casual talks really.
How you spend your money, u need not report to anyone. It has totally nothing to do with your work. I dunno why u need to be so upset at all. If that's bullying, you probably find yourself being in corner often, being bullied. In a way, you are taking all these minor suanings too seriously. We have colleagues driving bigger BMs than the bosses. Nothing to suan about.
How you spend your money, u need not report to anyone. It has totally nothing to do with your work. I dunno why u need to be so upset at all. If that's bullying, you probably find yourself being in corner often, being bullied. In a way, you are taking all these minor suanings too seriously. We have colleagues driving bigger BMs than the bosses. Nothing to suan about.
dorabutter
New Member
..i felt humiliated. sorry i edited my post. prevent getting sacked. lol.
Ok i will bear in mind..
Ok i will bear in mind..
miloice
Well-Known Member
Actually, no need to bear in mind. The advice is simple : Bear less things in mind.
Don't bear in mind things that doesn't bother and not important to u. If you know this individual likes to talk cock, then take little note or value over what is said.
No need to be upset and no need to bear grudges against your managers. It will work against your career as you will think of them negatively because of your grudges.
Don't bear in mind things that doesn't bother and not important to u. If you know this individual likes to talk cock, then take little note or value over what is said.
No need to be upset and no need to bear grudges against your managers. It will work against your career as you will think of them negatively because of your grudges.
"Actually, no need to bear in mind. The advice is simple : Bear less things in mind.
Don't bear in mind things that doesn't bother and not important to u. If you know this individual likes to talk cock, then take little note or value over what is said.
No need to be upset and no need to bear grudges against your managers. It will work against your career as you will think of them negatively because of your grudges."
Agreed with the above..
Don't bear in mind things that doesn't bother and not important to u. If you know this individual likes to talk cock, then take little note or value over what is said.
No need to be upset and no need to bear grudges against your managers. It will work against your career as you will think of them negatively because of your grudges."
Agreed with the above..
I read the original entry..
Just some idle casual talk.. I don't really understand about TS's point.
No one is talking about her driving and making it so big.. she is so self conscious that she is driving? And she think because of this people think she is rich?
Come on. what type of mentality is this????
Prevent getting sacked?? I am dumbfounded.
Just some idle casual talk.. I don't really understand about TS's point.
No one is talking about her driving and making it so big.. she is so self conscious that she is driving? And she think because of this people think she is rich?
Come on. what type of mentality is this????
Prevent getting sacked?? I am dumbfounded.
i read the original entry too, actually i kinda get what she's trying to say. I think ts is a tad too sensitive, and the boss is possibly the type who doesn't think too much before blurting any comments, which adds on to ts' "over-awareness".
Anyway, don't be paranoid lah. Doesn't seem like your boss is trying to be nasty, esp when u mentioned she's never hesitant about giving out praises when u deserve them
Anyway, don't be paranoid lah. Doesn't seem like your boss is trying to be nasty, esp when u mentioned she's never hesitant about giving out praises when u deserve them
green_tranquility
New Member
Mark,
I'm preparing my afternoon presentation's materials. What are u doing at this hour? Going for your taiji?
I bet your taiji skill at office must be quite good too lol.
I'm preparing my afternoon presentation's materials. What are u doing at this hour? Going for your taiji?
I bet your taiji skill at office must be quite good too lol.dorabutter
New Member
no la,she didnt ask what car im driving. THe moment she heard I drive then she started to suan siao me lor. Besides saying i'm not pretty so that manager did not notice me, she also said "He would only notice pretty girls with nice butt which u dont have by the way". I viewed that as Ren2 Shen1 Gong1 Ji1 (personal attack).
I also dont know why this upsets me so much. There are others who find me pretty but I am put down by just one person's remarks.
:S Sorry i upset all of u too. I must learn to kan4 kai1!
I also dont know why this upsets me so much. There are others who find me pretty but I am put down by just one person's remarks.
:S Sorry i upset all of u too. I must learn to kan4 kai1!
green_tranquility
New Member
Dora,
Hey u can't be expecting the WHOLE WORLD to think and tell u that u are pretty right?
Furthermore, beauty is subjective. All humans will age sooner or later, how long can you stay pretty?
Just curious...do u grow up in a very protected, pampered environment? In the real world, people will not always say nice things to us.
Hey u can't be expecting the WHOLE WORLD to think and tell u that u are pretty right?
Furthermore, beauty is subjective. All humans will age sooner or later, how long can you stay pretty?
Just curious...do u grow up in a very protected, pampered environment? In the real world, people will not always say nice things to us.
dorabutter
New Member
yala i know la. haha. Too vulnerable yesterday.. no no, i was upset because she criticised me in front of many people.. Of course it doesnt reflect nicely on her as a high ranking person for saying such things of people.
feeling much better today already..
feeling much better today already..
alcifertoh
New Member
I never read the original entry. But what I feel from above entry is if wanna involve in such casual talks, one must be able to joke. Otherwise just steer clear. Normally when we joke with each other in office also use rather crude terms. But it's all for humourous intent.
And yeah you have to kan kai. Why would you need other people's endorsement to feel good about yourself?
And yeah you have to kan kai. Why would you need other people's endorsement to feel good about yourself?
miloice
Well-Known Member
hi Dora,
maybe I share a bit of personal references.
In my previous job, we had a pretty big lunch group. I was very closed to one of the gal in the group. Kind of 'underground relationship'. Anyway, she is the very sensitive type. Pretty much like how you reacted in your incident. She was so conscience over the car she drove and to keep everything about her a secret. Numerous times, she silently bore grudges and anger with the group for the comments and jokes made over lunch. Always telling me how stressed she is. Trying so hard to avoid attention but people have big mouths and commenting about her etc. Sometimes, I helped to divert the attention of the group to other stuffs and she was like so thankful over that. And when I didn't, she would be so disappointed with me.
I went through numerous times trying to talk sense to her. That, people that love to talk will talk. She just happens to be part of the topic sometimes. They talk about anything interesting and juicy. Its just harmless casual remarks and suanings. In fact, we have 'common targets' in the group and it aren't her. This people continue to be great pals till this very day. She had distant herself from the group in her fear of gosships and that somehow I would talk about her in the group after we broke up.
Anyway, I broke the relationship with this gal as it was too emotionally tiring as she was always confrontal and sensitive. She took a lot of pride to be well liked in office and everything she does, seems to be so well-thought of, full with intentions and 'good will'. I was rebuked by her numerous times for being selfish and insensitive towards others feelings and that the only reason why I'm not affected by the comments is because I was too blur and naive.
In my opinion, its just the opposite. She is too engrossed over such minor stuffs and missing the plot completely. In a way, really naive and childish. And she thinks she is more mature than she really is.
We were a big group of wonderful colleagues and friends. We didn't let these little differences, comments and jokes come between the friendship. This is what mature adult friendships are like. Not like teens having childish grudges against one another over trivial stuffs. Just 3 weeks back, I was in KL to attend one of my buddy's wedding banquet and it was a mini gathering for those of us that attended still. Most of us left the company for several yrs now.
What is important in life isn't every minor detail spoken by everyone in your life. But rather, living it to the fullest. Touching lives with our influences, be it our friends, family, colleagues or even acquaintances, strangers and general mankind. Think about that, how to move on to greater and more important things in life if your focus is all on bearing so grudges over every single little thing?
maybe I share a bit of personal references.
In my previous job, we had a pretty big lunch group. I was very closed to one of the gal in the group. Kind of 'underground relationship'. Anyway, she is the very sensitive type. Pretty much like how you reacted in your incident. She was so conscience over the car she drove and to keep everything about her a secret. Numerous times, she silently bore grudges and anger with the group for the comments and jokes made over lunch. Always telling me how stressed she is. Trying so hard to avoid attention but people have big mouths and commenting about her etc. Sometimes, I helped to divert the attention of the group to other stuffs and she was like so thankful over that. And when I didn't, she would be so disappointed with me.
I went through numerous times trying to talk sense to her. That, people that love to talk will talk. She just happens to be part of the topic sometimes. They talk about anything interesting and juicy. Its just harmless casual remarks and suanings. In fact, we have 'common targets' in the group and it aren't her. This people continue to be great pals till this very day. She had distant herself from the group in her fear of gosships and that somehow I would talk about her in the group after we broke up.
Anyway, I broke the relationship with this gal as it was too emotionally tiring as she was always confrontal and sensitive. She took a lot of pride to be well liked in office and everything she does, seems to be so well-thought of, full with intentions and 'good will'. I was rebuked by her numerous times for being selfish and insensitive towards others feelings and that the only reason why I'm not affected by the comments is because I was too blur and naive.
In my opinion, its just the opposite. She is too engrossed over such minor stuffs and missing the plot completely. In a way, really naive and childish. And she thinks she is more mature than she really is.
We were a big group of wonderful colleagues and friends. We didn't let these little differences, comments and jokes come between the friendship. This is what mature adult friendships are like. Not like teens having childish grudges against one another over trivial stuffs. Just 3 weeks back, I was in KL to attend one of my buddy's wedding banquet and it was a mini gathering for those of us that attended still. Most of us left the company for several yrs now.
What is important in life isn't every minor detail spoken by everyone in your life. But rather, living it to the fullest. Touching lives with our influences, be it our friends, family, colleagues or even acquaintances, strangers and general mankind. Think about that, how to move on to greater and more important things in life if your focus is all on bearing so grudges over every single little thing?
dorabutter
New Member
Aiya...when direct boss (the lady boss - director)talks to u, cant ignore right.. I didnt do anything to invite the personal attack..really LL. Just duno how to react mah. sian.
if she toks to u, definitely u have to react. that's only being polite. but personal attack, perhaps it's not only to u. might be applicable to everyone, or most of them. if u dun like, juz ignore. the more u try to explain or to avoid being tok about, the more ppl will try to find topic on u.
dorabutter
New Member
usually if really tio suan i confirm suan back until they have nothing to say. But this time is boss, cannot mah. She is known to bear grudges. If suan back she will spread rumours about u. If keep quiet she will keep attacking u, like what she is doing to others.
ok ok .. i'll twist my perception to think of it as a joke and not personal attack loh.. i think next time if happen again, i may just jia jia go pantry or toilet just to siam liao. since we cant win her. bahhhhhhhhhhhh
ok ok .. i'll twist my perception to think of it as a joke and not personal attack loh.. i think next time if happen again, i may just jia jia go pantry or toilet just to siam liao. since we cant win her. bahhhhhhhhhhhh
miloice
Well-Known Member
"usually if really tio suan i confirm suan back until they have nothing to say"...
wow,,, that's pretty aggressive in nature. Needed or not?
"She is known to bear grudges. If suan back she will spread rumours about u."
But, aren't you bearing grudges yourself? Its really kind of ironic. Picturing in your manager's shoe, if you are the boss and everytime you try to rapport with the staffs, you need some topic for ice breaking. But they think you are suaning / attacking them and become stress & dunno how to react.
If you are this petty over trivial things, it doesn't matter how you react. Be it keep quiet, suan back or pretend to go pantry or toilet. You are still bearing those pointless grudges for nothing. When I advise you to suan back, its for you to do it really as a joke. Not to get back at her. When someone is this aggressive, the reaction, body language and everything will be negative. It will be a intense and fiery response and not a light hearted one.
I couldn't talk sense to my friend over 3 yrs, I probably couldn't over here in few mins either. But the advice is really for you to ponder about. The situations could be the same but different people would react very differently. And how positive the outcome, is largely influenced by the reaction and how you process them internally. Do you choose to react and perceive things so personally and negatively. These thoughts poison you to see those around you negatively. The choice is yours.
wow,,, that's pretty aggressive in nature. Needed or not?
"She is known to bear grudges. If suan back she will spread rumours about u."
But, aren't you bearing grudges yourself? Its really kind of ironic. Picturing in your manager's shoe, if you are the boss and everytime you try to rapport with the staffs, you need some topic for ice breaking. But they think you are suaning / attacking them and become stress & dunno how to react.
If you are this petty over trivial things, it doesn't matter how you react. Be it keep quiet, suan back or pretend to go pantry or toilet. You are still bearing those pointless grudges for nothing. When I advise you to suan back, its for you to do it really as a joke. Not to get back at her. When someone is this aggressive, the reaction, body language and everything will be negative. It will be a intense and fiery response and not a light hearted one.
I couldn't talk sense to my friend over 3 yrs, I probably couldn't over here in few mins either. But the advice is really for you to ponder about. The situations could be the same but different people would react very differently. And how positive the outcome, is largely influenced by the reaction and how you process them internally. Do you choose to react and perceive things so personally and negatively. These thoughts poison you to see those around you negatively. The choice is yours.
alcifertoh
New Member
U just want to win lah. Buey gum wan kenna suan that's all. Live and let live. Sometimes we are suaned as well when we suan others.
Seriously, if you think you are pretty and other people says you are not pretty - what is the problem? They are bullshitting right?
Or if you are really not pretty and they say you are not pretty - stating facts right?
Either way, nothing to fret about. Or you need praises all the time to make you feel good.
She is just making a comment or offering an opinion about your beauty. This is not personal attack. The more I look at it, it is more likely she is "suaning" the other manager - unfortunately the subject happens to be you. Or put it this way, she could well mean that you are "pretty" but it was not noticed as that manager has a different yard-stick.
Or if you are really not pretty and they say you are not pretty - stating facts right?
Either way, nothing to fret about. Or you need praises all the time to make you feel good.
She is just making a comment or offering an opinion about your beauty. This is not personal attack. The more I look at it, it is more likely she is "suaning" the other manager - unfortunately the subject happens to be you. Or put it this way, she could well mean that you are "pretty" but it was not noticed as that manager has a different yard-stick.
dorabutter
New Member
no la..i dont need praises all the time. I'm happy to be unnoticed sometimes so that she will not pick on me like she do to others. I guess finally the time has come for me to be picked on.
I was just stunned by her remarks as she has not done that to me b4 lor. Now that you guys say its more of casual joke than personal attack, I guess I'm just too sensitive.
I dont care liao la. Btw I'm not holding grudges against her cos some people are just born with foul mouth, nothing we can do.
Aiya, can say i buay song i 'lose' just because she is a boss and i dun wanna offend her. I m witty and really good at defensive suaning, usually after that everyone has a good laugh and all is forgotten lor. Not the kind of sparring where people will hate me or vice versa la. And because I am so good at suaning and i never lose, I dont go about attacking people. Only when provoked then i give them a good one
I was just stunned by her remarks as she has not done that to me b4 lor. Now that you guys say its more of casual joke than personal attack, I guess I'm just too sensitive.
I dont care liao la. Btw I'm not holding grudges against her cos some people are just born with foul mouth, nothing we can do.
Aiya, can say i buay song i 'lose' just because she is a boss and i dun wanna offend her. I m witty and really good at defensive suaning, usually after that everyone has a good laugh and all is forgotten lor. Not the kind of sparring where people will hate me or vice versa la. And because I am so good at suaning and i never lose, I dont go about attacking people. Only when provoked then i give them a good one
miloice
Well-Known Member
hi dora,
i really do understand where u r coming from. Yes, go unnoticed. But quite frankly, we cannot control that. If others do notice and comment, so be it loh.
Again, I would say she isn't really picking on you. What was said is so trivial but you count that as picking on you. When u say about she picking on others, are those similar incidents as this? Your sensitivity isn't about this one off scenario but generally, you are taking the comments of others too seriously and negatively liao.
Suaning to win? You seem pretty confident about it. How to define winning, the other party keeping quiet? That's what I do when I sense hostility during casual normally. There is nothing to win, its a lunch chat. Not a battle.
Anyway, as long as you are coping fine and not stressed by the 'attention', then its good. You are entitled to your own set of believes, rules, and logic. I respect that. If what I said makes sense to you, then do ponder over them, else, just ignore. Good lunch, bon appetite & cheers.
i really do understand where u r coming from. Yes, go unnoticed. But quite frankly, we cannot control that. If others do notice and comment, so be it loh.
Again, I would say she isn't really picking on you. What was said is so trivial but you count that as picking on you. When u say about she picking on others, are those similar incidents as this? Your sensitivity isn't about this one off scenario but generally, you are taking the comments of others too seriously and negatively liao.
Suaning to win? You seem pretty confident about it. How to define winning, the other party keeping quiet? That's what I do when I sense hostility during casual normally. There is nothing to win, its a lunch chat. Not a battle.
Anyway, as long as you are coping fine and not stressed by the 'attention', then its good. You are entitled to your own set of believes, rules, and logic. I respect that. If what I said makes sense to you, then do ponder over them, else, just ignore. Good lunch, bon appetite & cheers.
sounds more like u are the 'need-to-win' type and u're just not in a position to 'win' with your boss.
dun mean to be mean, but seriously, the issue might just be with u. YES, even if others can be mean or wrong... it does not make u right.
the thing i wanna say is... sometimes u dun have to win, u just need to know u can... and that's enough. if u can have this mentality, i believe u can survive well in the harshest environment... let actions n success be your vengence, not words...
i see alot of pple going around trying to stake claims n 'win' when there's totally no need to at all. i see pple spending beyond their budget to 'win' in showy ways and end up with their BMWs towed away cos they simply cannot afford. all these mentality on winning is pointless if u have No Purpose to back up the need to win other than your own insecurities...
the wise often see thru it faster, the young are impressed easily... but what goes behind the scene could be a man surviving on just 1 meal a day in order to 'win'.
dun mean to be mean, but seriously, the issue might just be with u. YES, even if others can be mean or wrong... it does not make u right.
the thing i wanna say is... sometimes u dun have to win, u just need to know u can... and that's enough. if u can have this mentality, i believe u can survive well in the harshest environment... let actions n success be your vengence, not words...
i see alot of pple going around trying to stake claims n 'win' when there's totally no need to at all. i see pple spending beyond their budget to 'win' in showy ways and end up with their BMWs towed away cos they simply cannot afford. all these mentality on winning is pointless if u have No Purpose to back up the need to win other than your own insecurities...
the wise often see thru it faster, the young are impressed easily... but what goes behind the scene could be a man surviving on just 1 meal a day in order to 'win'.
alcifertoh
New Member
The actual gurus in suanning are those who feel nothing from the sessions instead of seeking to "win/lose" leh.
When you are affected, you are always the loser to yourself.
When you are affected, you are always the loser to yourself.
dora,
Serious I don't see how good you can be in the "suaning" battle.. even lets assume she is not your boss. You can't even handle a remark and comment and has to come here to post about being "bully"
If you are so good you would be able to get back at her with you being happy and without her being angry with you. She would then prefer to find other targets to pick on.
Serious I don't see how good you can be in the "suaning" battle.. even lets assume she is not your boss. You can't even handle a remark and comment and has to come here to post about being "bully"
If you are so good you would be able to get back at her with you being happy and without her being angry with you. She would then prefer to find other targets to pick on.
Milo, hope to hear from you.
I had a very depressing session with my manager before xmas holidays. I had a quiet nature at work and hardly talk to colleagues as I was always busy the whole day. Some colleagues deemed that i am unapproachable and feedback to the manager. During the closed-door session, i was being whacked by her, saying i was unapproachable, i dont treasure colleagues and i need to do some soul searching. Whenever colleagues come to me for help, I will stop my work and listen to them. I am totally upset from the way they do this to me. I believe there are bound to be pple around not happy with one and another but i never speak any bad about them.
Having stayed in this dept for 10 yrs, i feel stagnant, prisoned in office as i was struggling with work the whole day. I feel like quitting, taking a short break first before looking for another job, yet on the other hand, i worry the loss of income. I am not a career minded woman but money is important though money is not everything. Very stressful and upset.
I had a very depressing session with my manager before xmas holidays. I had a quiet nature at work and hardly talk to colleagues as I was always busy the whole day. Some colleagues deemed that i am unapproachable and feedback to the manager. During the closed-door session, i was being whacked by her, saying i was unapproachable, i dont treasure colleagues and i need to do some soul searching. Whenever colleagues come to me for help, I will stop my work and listen to them. I am totally upset from the way they do this to me. I believe there are bound to be pple around not happy with one and another but i never speak any bad about them.
Having stayed in this dept for 10 yrs, i feel stagnant, prisoned in office as i was struggling with work the whole day. I feel like quitting, taking a short break first before looking for another job, yet on the other hand, i worry the loss of income. I am not a career minded woman but money is important though money is not everything. Very stressful and upset.
love_molly
New Member
I did not read the whole post of what happened...but i too feel i'm always bully at work...
workplace for me always start the same...the people there are often nice and good for the beginning...and then because i do not stand up for myself...whenever someone scold me even though i'm not in the wrong or i've reasonable excuses, i do not dare to speak up for myself...
so often, ppl like to pick on me...scold me as and when they like...shout at me and tell me sarcastic remarks and i will guai guai stand there and let them finish some more...i've change numerous jobs over the 3year i'm working...and until now...i still do not muster enough courage to protest or just tell them off...
i already tell myself that until the day i learn how to stand up for my own rights, the history will always repeat itself...but i just...haiz
i'm just suffering...and i noe i deserved it since i dun speak up...i just think of other ppl too much to think for myself...
workplace for me always start the same...the people there are often nice and good for the beginning...and then because i do not stand up for myself...whenever someone scold me even though i'm not in the wrong or i've reasonable excuses, i do not dare to speak up for myself...
so often, ppl like to pick on me...scold me as and when they like...shout at me and tell me sarcastic remarks and i will guai guai stand there and let them finish some more...i've change numerous jobs over the 3year i'm working...and until now...i still do not muster enough courage to protest or just tell them off...
i already tell myself that until the day i learn how to stand up for my own rights, the history will always repeat itself...but i just...haiz
i'm just suffering...and i noe i deserved it since i dun speak up...i just think of other ppl too much to think for myself...
love_molly
New Member
I did not read the whole post of what happened...but i too feel i'm always bully at work...
workplace for me always start the same...the people there are often nice and good for the beginning...and then because i do not stand up for myself...whenever someone scold me even though i'm not in the wrong or i've reasonable excuses, i do not dare to speak up for myself...
so often, ppl like to pick on me...scold me as and when they like...shout at me and tell me sarcastic remarks and i will guai guai stand there and let them finish some more...i've change numerous jobs over the 3year i'm working...and until now...i still do not muster enough courage to protest or just tell them off...
i already tell myself that until the day i learn how to stand up for my own rights, the history will always repeat itself...but i just...haiz
i'm just suffering...and i noe i deserved it since i dun speak up...i just think of other ppl too much to think for myself...
workplace for me always start the same...the people there are often nice and good for the beginning...and then because i do not stand up for myself...whenever someone scold me even though i'm not in the wrong or i've reasonable excuses, i do not dare to speak up for myself...
so often, ppl like to pick on me...scold me as and when they like...shout at me and tell me sarcastic remarks and i will guai guai stand there and let them finish some more...i've change numerous jobs over the 3year i'm working...and until now...i still do not muster enough courage to protest or just tell them off...
i already tell myself that until the day i learn how to stand up for my own rights, the history will always repeat itself...but i just...haiz
i'm just suffering...and i noe i deserved it since i dun speak up...i just think of other ppl too much to think for myself...
miloice
Well-Known Member
Hi Otelle,
it depends on your goals in your career. If you are there only for the fixed income, then you need to grow more immune to such attacks. At the same time, no need to quietly accept everything your boss says provided he/she is professional and isn't the petty type. You could challenge and show proactive actions to counter the alleged claims.
But, networking isn't that painful. Its definitely less natural for asians. You just need to take the steps to open up and get to know people. When you have good connections with people up in the organization, others would think twice of shooting such poison darts at you.
I'm lucky that the R&D boss recognizes my contribution and a good friend of mine. It was difficult for my manager to not recognize my efforts with the R&D boss challenging and pushing for me. Our friendship was a natural one. No bootlicking required.
In fact, it all started from heated challenges and discussions in work. He is just the kind of chap that doesn't care about ranks. Its always about considering the big picture and biz impacts. Nothing personal about disputes in work despite the many conflict in interest between RnD and Marketing and we respected each other for the professionalism. Some people bore grudges against him, for me, it helps to gain that mutual respect and a ice breaker. From there, its lunch, coffee breaks and biz trips that we improve the friendship.
Frankly, network is important for many careers. One can argue that in specific professions where the technical skills is what is important, its probably less key. Nevertheless, its never a disadvantage to know people up there.
it depends on your goals in your career. If you are there only for the fixed income, then you need to grow more immune to such attacks. At the same time, no need to quietly accept everything your boss says provided he/she is professional and isn't the petty type. You could challenge and show proactive actions to counter the alleged claims.
But, networking isn't that painful. Its definitely less natural for asians. You just need to take the steps to open up and get to know people. When you have good connections with people up in the organization, others would think twice of shooting such poison darts at you.
I'm lucky that the R&D boss recognizes my contribution and a good friend of mine. It was difficult for my manager to not recognize my efforts with the R&D boss challenging and pushing for me. Our friendship was a natural one. No bootlicking required.
In fact, it all started from heated challenges and discussions in work. He is just the kind of chap that doesn't care about ranks. Its always about considering the big picture and biz impacts. Nothing personal about disputes in work despite the many conflict in interest between RnD and Marketing and we respected each other for the professionalism. Some people bore grudges against him, for me, it helps to gain that mutual respect and a ice breaker. From there, its lunch, coffee breaks and biz trips that we improve the friendship.
Frankly, network is important for many careers. One can argue that in specific professions where the technical skills is what is important, its probably less key. Nevertheless, its never a disadvantage to know people up there.
miloice
Well-Known Member
One simple thing you can do to get rid of the unapproachable impression. Take that initiative to SMILE MORE and give that eye contact with people. In the morning and evening. Smile and greet anyone and everyone. Take that initiative, naturally, people will find you more approachable.
You might not realized it, your quiet nature and keeping yourself busy with work might naturally give the signal to others... "Buzz off, I'm too busy. Do not disturb". This is exactly the feedback your colleagues are giving. Think about that. Friendliness starts from us, we don't need to wait for others to be friendly with us.
You might not realized it, your quiet nature and keeping yourself busy with work might naturally give the signal to others... "Buzz off, I'm too busy. Do not disturb". This is exactly the feedback your colleagues are giving. Think about that. Friendliness starts from us, we don't need to wait for others to be friendly with us.
serialjobhopper
New Member
Honestly sucks to be you, I can totally emphathise. My advise is don't hold onto a grudge because it's like poison and you should just let it go lest you poison yourself. I've been following this blog for quite some time, it used to be something else but it got revamped. It's pretty nice, anonymous, and relates very well to this girl's (I think it's a girl author?) bitch boss. It feels much better knowing you're not alone. It has helped me through some really tough times and the writing is pretty stoic (though in a pretty hilarious way)
Give her a read, I love her because she's raw and incredibly honest. Links are not allowed here but try seasonedeyeroller(.)wordpress(.)com
Give her a read, I love her because she's raw and incredibly honest. Links are not allowed here but try seasonedeyeroller(.)wordpress(.)com
