Husband was involved with a china women.

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strong_lady

New Member
I have tried talking to that china woman but the women refused to let go and say she truthfully love my husband.
The china woman working here, i m not sure what pass she holding? a work permit,S pass or Employment pass,She is not supposed to break up families in Singapore.can i complaint to MOM or immigation ?Actually there is something that i can do to her? should teach them a lesson not to break up others marriage.There are certain laws in Singapore to protect us. pls can anyone advise ?
 


To say she break up your family, is at most only half the picture. Your husband is a willing party. And also one has to look at the push factors in the marriage.

There are always temptations out there.
 
- if it was not a foreigner, wat can u do?

- your husbad if Half or fully at fault - he could have led her to believ he was a bachelor.

- getting rid of her dos not repair your marriage, she is only One of many women.

- if your husband wants to hunt, he will find his prey.

- solving problems is abot finding longterm solutions, not desperate short-term measures

- look in the mirror n reflect on yourself abit.. u may be a push-factor unknowingly.
 
you should control the situation rather than ceding control to the other woman which you just did by letting her decide how she's gonna play out the affair....drop your husband if he insists on straying...
 
alamak my keyboard yday low batt, seems typo too much, so shall repeat:

- if it was Not a foreigner, wat can u do?

- your husband is Half or fully at fault - he could have led her to believe he was a bachelor.

- getting rid of her does not repair your marriage, she is only One of many women.

- if your husband wants to hunt, he will find his prey.

- solving problems is about finding longterm solutions, not desperate short-term measures

- look in the mirror n reflect on yourself abit.. u may be a push-factor unknowingly.
 
Frankly speaking, I do not think MOM or Immigration has jurisdiction in this context. It would actually be more applicable if your husband is sponsoring her Long Term Pass, WP, EP or PR.

In which case, you would need to pitch it from the angle that she is an undesirable immigrate even then, it would be subject to approval since geberally Singapore tends to seperate State, Religion and Family.

As Milo and Powder mentioned, she is only a 1/3 of the equation (Husband, Wife and Mistress). You would need to examine whether there are "push" factors in your marriage.
 
MOM and immigrantion have the power to blacklist those china women if there is evidence that she is breaking up a family and getting invlove with her husband.
 
"MOM and immigrantion have the power to blacklist those china women if there is evidence that she is breaking up a family and getting invlove with her husband".

Where did you find the info?
 
stronglady: I agree with milo n powder. U know about ur husband's r/ship with the china lady. U have no hold over the china lady. Personally, I think u should have spoken to ur husband instead of confronting the china lady. The main issue here is how u want to continue ur marriage or if u want to step out and opt for a divorce.

To be honest, ur husband is more at fault than the china lady. He made the decision to betray ur marriage. U have to ask urself wat u want n whether ur husband is willing to rebuild the trust n marriage tgr with u. U also have to consider the fear, insecurity n hurt u might have to endure with over time. I would encourage u to have a long honest talk with ur husband.
 
"You could simply hire someone to kill her..

Then, you live with your husband happily ever after.."

simpleman i hope you are not that serious right ?

her husband's heart has been somewhere else, even though the china lady leave him. TS will live the man with no heart.
 
Interesting. KUDOS to Margret. However, this only applies to WP holders? Correct? If she is an EP or PR, then this point in moot.
 
moist,

i dun need your encouragement... but i appreciate it. fact is, i dun think highly of u so your high opinions of me will only make me look bad. so pls refrain from giving me pats on my shoulder... it's irritating.

if u dun understand what i'm saying.... walk over to your CEO or Boss or CO... and pat him on his shoulder and tell him "well done".

Get it?
 
margret, that's very good info... interesting in fact. cos the way it's phrased sounds very specific to certain groups.
 
it's the same. unless MOM allowed 'educated' work pass holder to do that.

Actually, i have a friend who use that against a china women. She did it after she spoke to the china women to leave her husband, but she say she is deeply in love with her husband. The women was on EP. And her EP was not renewed.
 
well as long as husband dun follow her to china, OR maybe she helped the husband get rid of this one so that he can move to the next... even better?
 
cuclainne, Not really since, WP holder have to apply to MOM for approval or permission to marry a Singaporean.

I know of a few friends whom were ignorant of this rule and had married but could not get approval from MOM.
 
that part i know cos i had thought that me and the husband would have to write in to MOM too prior to our wedding but they told us that it's only applicable to WP holders, not EP holders.

it's the part about breaking up families in singapore - so specific, that condition is.
 
Morally no one is suppose to break up a family in everywhere of the world, be it a WP, EP, PR or whatever P P.

Even if you stop her from coming to Singapore, your husband can go over to China to look for her as well or find a 2nd replacement.
 
So what if you are able to broke this woman up with your husband. This does not make your husband to be faithful to you. If he chose to eat 'wild grass' then he will not stop at this one. Sending the woman home is not a solution, though you may feel better that at least you did something.
Either you live with it knowing he is an unfaithful man or you divorce and move on. You gotta realize it takes two hands to clap.
If your husband is truly faithful to you, even Miss World won't turn him on.
 
simpleman,

Don't make stupid suggestions leh. If we see a report in the Chinese tabloid tomorrow of Singaporean woman killing Chinese mistress of her husband, it will be your fault.

stronglady,

Be strong. You have already confronted the woman, but what does your husband say? Does he still want her around?

He is the one who created the mess. Get him to pick up the pieces and settle things with her.

As for you, don't report her. Ask him to solve the problem. If you play the bad guy and try to chase her away, he may end up pitying her and defending her.

If he really chooses that woman over you, just walk out on him. Some things not worth fighting for. A leopard doesn't change its spots unless it wants to. If you hubby doesn't want to end things with that woman, nothing you do can stop him.
 
actually i dont want to continue my marriage anymore, because i agree with joeidevire A leopard doesn't change its spots. i just want to teach her a lesson, dont anyhow break up others marriage in singapore.this is not her 1st time to break up other marriage here. you all know?
 
join the police force or legal trade... wear a superhero uniform and be a vigilante in stopping all women from breaking other pple's HAPPY marriages.

or u can buy her a meal to thank her for showing u that u have a crap husband, and be appreciative of her help.
 
Of course killing the other woman won't help.. there will be many others, so you can't go on to kill every woman? Isn't it obvious what I am driving at?

When the husband strayed, why don't women look at themselves in the mirror. Why put ALL the blame on the other woman. How about the wife themselves.. OK granted they could be 100% blameless... how about the husband? He is the focus person. He bears the greatest responsibility.
 
I think it's 50-50, on the part of the husband and TOW.

But the wife should not be blame if she is clueless about what is the husband doing outside. Maybe the only things that she is wrong is to trust the husband too much and letting him have affair outside.
 
I think you should focus on mending your life instead of teaching her a lesson, since you have decided to move on.

干嘛放钱进她的å£è¢‹ï¼Ÿè‡ªä¿æ¯”较é‡è¦ã€‚
 
How could a wife be 100% blameless?

I don't want to go into the blame-game. But for most relationship, it is unlikely for one party to be solely responsible. We are in the modern age. no longer the age when the suffering wife has to keep quiet.

Wife is clueless and not to be blamed? Why? She don't care what the husband is doing?

OK OK.. even granted wife is 100% blameless.. and she is the perfect wife that every man would want.. and still the husband want to find woman outside.. So whose fault? The husband or the other woman. 50-50? I don't think so. He has a perfect wife and still want to eat outside.. don't you think he bears great responsibility. We can't control people outside... but the husband has the responsibility and if he eat secretly outside.. don't blame the other woman. Yes, maybe, she is a serial-husband-stealing cheater.. but so what.. she cannot bear more responsibility than the husband.

Or even if I agree with you 50-50.. why put the blame on the other woman? Isn't it clear that wife can't do much to the other woman.. but she can definitely do something to the husband.

If there is a lesson to be taught, the husband should be the first one to be given the lesson.
 
we've not been educated with the mentality of exploring ourselves to find blame first, but to find blame in others, and possibly a scapegoat to hang before we flick our hands n move on.
 
our action reflects on our personality. Such resentful mindset, plotting for revenge instead of picking up the piece which is much more important and objective for her. Losing the plot completely here. It reveals alot about the person. Someone, I hardly see as blameless.
 
Not only lose time and youth, but $$$ too to produce proofs of his infidelity. If spending a few thousand dollars cannot change my fate and I would still have to divorce, I'd rather keep the $$$ to myself.
 
sm,

Okay, I got your point now. Easy to blame other woman or man who comes between hb and wife because when people are upset, they will look for someone to blame. Human nature.

It is sad but can understand why. Not many people will be able to remain cool and calm, but after a period of time, most will able to look at things rationally.
 
joiedevire,

What is the point of blaming 3rd parties? You can't change anything.. even if you hate them and assign all the blame to them..

We can only change our lives for the better if we look forward and not backward. Yes, we may be sad and depress or whatever.. but still we need to move on and live a life.

In the end, we owe it to ourselves to be happy. If we continue to habour anger and want revenge.. how can we be happy?
 
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