How to be happy?


I guess it is a choice. Look for something tt u had once wanted to do? Help someone who needs help? It works for me when I help others. I feel happier knowing tt my actions had brought joy and comfort to someone else.

Happiness is a shared issue. U cannot experience happiness alone. It needs to be shared.
 
i agree, its contentment. We can always choose to be happy or miserable. No matter what the situation is, there will be the period with shock and difficulty in acceptance. But beyond this period, its really our choice to be happy again or not.
 
yeah.... going to your bloody spa. Bet that is what make you happy.

Your advertising strategy is kind of lame & cheapo. Don't you think?

Reminds me of the 'chicken and duck talk' comedy I watched yrs back where the cheapo boss tries to place ad signboards at accident site while the news reporter was doing a live report an the accident scene.
 
"Reminds me of the 'chicken and duck talk' comedy I watched yrs back where the cheapo boss tries to place ad signboards at accident site while the news reporter was doing a live report an the accident scene."

milo, hahaha! tats so innovative leh! aiya...nowadays...ppl wan you qi you pi...eh method mah....den they still expect dua liap nee leh? *shakes head*
 
Happiness to me is to treasure your loved ones and watever you have now.
Life is short, they are not going to be with you forever. Treasure them when we are still together and not brood on nitty witty details, be open hearted.
Like that we will feel happiness.
$$ anytime can be earned but not time with your loved ones.
 
it's sad when pple dun know wat makes them happy...

my suggestion is to start by knowing what are the things that make u unhappy Now... then take stock of what u can do to solve them, or if u have to live with it...

then find things that can put a smile on your face...

these are basic steps... start from there.
 
Ya, I had an ex-colleague. Same age and she already got Masters (I'm only a diploma holder) and was an engineer. Pay higher than me by dunno how k, but she told me she's not contented. She wan higher position, higher pay. She wan higher education, wan big hse big car etc. I asked her will you be happy if u get all these? She said dunno.

I was thinking like that forever u won't be happy lor cuz u always dun feel contented.
 
hi powder, trying to solve all problems that makes us unahppy don't always make us happy. In fact, it can make it overwhelming for the individual bringing down the morale.

But I agree that we can find new things to make us happy.
 
tat's why it's the basic... if u're always unhappy, how can u even reach 'being happy'? so solve the unhappiness first... it can be via mental conditioning or working towards solving them. those tat can't be solved then learn to live with it and accept them...
 
"I was thinking like that forever u won't be happy lor cuz u always dun feel contented."

Well, one can derive happiness in the process of achieving what we want.
 
why would Anyone think that a person who is not contented with what he has... - is automatically Unhappy?

really the work of propaganda and can tell there's little thought-process into this. we're such an 'assuming" nation that it's not even funny.

so if u are in primary school and u want to get to uni and have a degree - u're discontented??? if u live in a cramped 1room and wish to buy a 5room so that your family can live more comfortably... it's discontented???

i mean, if u're at level 3 and u want to reach higher than level 3, what's wrong with that? how come there's pple who wanna make it sound Wrong and Greedy?

isn't improvements/progression a natural thing in life? or are we to assume that stagnating and being contented makes one Super Duper Happy???

u may not know if u'll be Happier with a degree from the current A'level... but are u really so pleased and contented and happy with an A'Level cert?

same with cars or houses... ok by all means Love your small car and small flat... but u dun have to condemn and assume those going for something More or Bigger is necessarily unhappy and discontented or greedy...

just becos u dun aim for more does not mean u're contented... could just be a bloody lie u're hiding behind. and dun laugh at pple who aim for more... dun assume they are unhappy, and becos they aim and are unhappy - that u become happy by default, becos u dun aim.

read between the lines... dun be so shallow.
 
Although I am not a deep thinker like Powder, I believe that wanting more in life or working toward a better life does not equate to discontentment. I am motivated by achieving things, and don't see anything wrong with that.

I tell you, discontentment is when you moan and groan every time the price of coffee or tea goes up by 10 cents.
 
let me tell u something Very True yet something not many wanna hear...

it's the fact that some pple will speak-ill of progression and achievements and make them sound evil... make them sound like u're a materialistic prick... make u feel like it's a sin to aim for more.

there are under-achievers and there are over-achievers... but generally most of us are capable of being just achievers... we achieve things to the level which we are capable of achieving...

1stly, we dun know each other That Well at work to know how capable each other are In the first place... half the time - we are surprised when certain frens are mentioned in the papers for achievements... we'll go - "wow, i didn't know Sue was doing advertising... oh that wonderful Ad is Her production? WoW!"

2ndly, we're very Keen to Compare achievements in spore... for pple who are Already successful we tend to be ok with them. but for pple who wanna be successful - we tend to discourage and be sceptical and negative... if it's loved ones, some of us even put them down and make them feel worthless. my question is - what makes us such a good judge of Who can be successful/Who cannot... when most of us aren't at the level to be able to SEE the potentials in pple/companies?

Lastly, the ugly side that is hidden - some of us Don't Want others to achieve things and be successful becos we dun want them to do better. like in school... some classmates will Always claim that they didn't study, tat they'll surely fail... then next thing u know - they did well. they were cramming at home but they lied so that some pple will be as complacent as lazy. This is Very True... there is this breed of pple who will make others Slow down so that they can quietly get Ahead. be very careful when your frens are like that.

this is not a communist state.... there are pple who do 50% to achieve much more than some others who put in their 110% effort. there are also pple who only wanna put in 30%, and there are some who constantly put in 100%. How can we base on pple's Wants to determine them to be discontented???

let me tell u what would make ME discontented - a 3room HDB, a small cheap car, and a 3k salary... i would be heavily under-achieving at my age. But if i was 19, i would be over-achieving... end of the day it depends on MY potential, not what u think of My potentials. what u think absolutely does not matter, should not matter, and should Never cause me to aim lower simply becos u aimed lower.

get the gist?
 
Happiness is not an end in itself.. if it is an end in itself it would be short-lived.

Like climbing a mountain. Yes our aim is to summit but is that the real happiness? No the happiness is the struggle up and the journey down.

So you can be pursuing anything you want.. and in the journey of pursing that, you have to find your everyday happiness because once you achieve the goal of that pursuit.. you may feel disappointed.

I always feel that happiness is a everyday affair. If you love what you are doing everyday, there is no reason for you to be unhappy - even if you have not achieved your ultimate goal.
 
I think alot depends on what and where we place our value. If the value is the objective / goal, one can easily be disappointed.

Contentment for me is to be able to value what we have and rather than what we don't. Because we value what we have, it motivate us positively. If we are only focused on what we don't have, how does one remain motivated on the goal?
 
actually, i was thinking from another point (maybe).

that the upbringing in your life plays apart.

for eg, if parent says go out have fun, and children happily jump for joy (natural kids' reaction). then parent feels annoyed and say "No outing. Coz you cannot behave well. Jumping up and down like monkey."

meaning, emotions were suppressed since young, not allowed to express feelings outwardly for fear of 'disaster' strucks.

this can cause a person to eventually, not know how to feel happy.
don't know how to have a simple hearty laugh.

or worse, become a pessimist all life.

and all these, nothing to do about being contented.
 
Upbringing definitely plays a part, but our maturity goes beyond that. Even brought up in the exact same environment, no 2 persons will be the same. We develop ourselves beyond external influences to have our own unique needs and values.

We do not need to learn how to be happy. We only need to start searching within and not rely on what the society, family, and parents tells us.
 
hey Sunflower, i like tat angle which u just presented... it's kind of deepseated yet so simple... i think it's quite true for some pple... they dun dare show that happiness too outwardly. hehe, like sometimes when we're by ourselves, we're more conscious of our behaviour and afraid that pple think we're crazy...
 
well milo,

my question is... What's wrong with disappointment? it's as much a spur... end of the day it's how we deal with disappointments mah... i think the problem with most pple is that they dun know how to see the positives in the negatives... and pple tend to take the negative things in a negative way...

do u know by learning how to deal with disappointment and rejection, and turning it into Learning/Moulding/Life's Lessons - we can actually turn them into Positives?

i may be disappointed with my academics when i was young, but i was not disheartened... it was not a death sentence... and yes i still have my family and frens... i just learnt an important lesson - i'm just not the study type. But unlike most pple, i dun condemn myself to low pay, lesser prospects and a mediocre future...

my disappointment was my motivation to find successful paths for the academic failure - ie ME. if i had been afraid of more disappointments, i would have settled for less... i would have settled for what society expects of a diploma holder's place in the chain.

actually wanna be disappointed - we must also earn That Right... if we dun put in enough effort, and we're disappointed, it shows a flaw in character of expecting maximum input from minimal output. so in my case, i had no bloody right to be disappointed with my academics... 1) i dun like to study subjects of which i have not interest, 2) i am lazy, 3) i love to go orchard, 4) i hardly pay attention in class. i AM disappointed, but i also know i have no right to be... and that is a HUGE lesson for me... that i DUN deserve results when i dun put in effort. i would be kidding myself if i Expected Bs... not even A. that's how bad i am.

anyway watever we aim for... it should always be a little higher than our ability, else there's no satisfaction tat comes with attainment.
 
I found this article "10 ways to be happier"

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/simple-moments-of-joy/articlers.aspx?cp-documentid=19240700&GT1=32030

A few years ago, on a morning like any other, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a New York City bus, I saw that the years were slipping by.

"What do I want from life?" I asked myself. "Well...I want to be happy." I had many reasons to be happy: My husband was the tall, dark, handsome love of my life; we had two delightful girls; I was a writer, living in my favorite city. I had friends; I had my health; I didn't have to color my hair. But too often I sniped at my husband or the drugstore clerk. I felt dejected after even a minor professional setback. I lost my temper easily. Is that how a happy person would act?

I decided on the spot to begin a systematic study of happiness. (A little intense, I know. But that's the kind of thing that appeals to me.) In the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and tips from popular culture. If I followed all the advice, I wanted to know, would it work?

Well, the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Here are those lessons.

1. Don't start with profundities. When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.

2. Do let the sun go down on anger. I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

3. Fake it till you feel it. Feelings follow actions. If I'm feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I'm feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.

4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things¨Dlearn a game, travel to unfamiliar places¨Dare happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to "Enjoy the fun of failure" and tackle some daunting goal.

5. Don't treat the blues with a "treat." Often the things I choose as "treats" aren't good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it's easy to think, I'll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine...a pint of ice cream...a cigarette...a new pair of jeans, it's worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.

6. Buy some happiness. Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do. You also want to have a sense of control. Money doesn't automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I've learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness.

7. Don't insist on the best. There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they're satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can't make a decision until they've examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they're often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.

8. Exercise to boost energy. I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, "I'm just too tired to go to the gym"? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.

9. Stop nagging. I knew my nagging wasn't working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn't realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying "Milk!" instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?

10. Take action. Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You're born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that's that. Although it's true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won't take you a whole year.
 
well powder,

nothing wrong with disappointments. But, if a person is disappointed about everything in his life over what he hasn't achieved and neglecting what he truly has, then its really an issue. Its a total lost cause. When we have a goal, we need to look beyond the superficial value of it all. Yes, good to aim high for career etc, but once we achieve them, does it really make us happy? what's next?

Whatever goals we have, we need to address not just one need. We need to acknowledge we are humans. We have the emotional, social, physical, personal and group needs. To be happy, we need to realize it isn't goals that makes us happy. Being contented doesn't mean one doesn't work hard to achieve anything. Its not the same as having no ambition or goals.

As guys, we are natural hunters and often neglect the other needs that we do have. To me, being overly focused is very dangerous. We will lose ourselves and the meaning of achieving our goals. Goals alone will not make us happy.
 
i think i will be happy if time stands still. hhaha.

and I'm happy with feeling relaxed during sunsets because it means I finally get to ZZZZzzzz snore after admiring the beautiful scenary.
 
well milo,

unless one has actually set abt achieving certain goals that fulfil's one's potential... and experience the emotional aspects of that achievement, one should not be too quick to dismiss the happiness it brings from fulfillment and proving our own worth - to ourselves...

end of the day it's a character issue... there's no umbrella rule on contentment and ambition, but it's important for us not to Assume that ambition is bad WHEN we have never embarked on that journey, nor believed for a moment that we can actually fulfill our ambition.

disappointment - do we have the right to be disappointed? well i believe some do... but i believe some pple also Dun have the right to be disappointed, simply becos they never put in the effort nor make the right decisions. it's abit like relationships.. everyone may deserve to be loved - By Default, but what sets us apart to being really deserving - will be our outlook and attitude towards finding love and maintaining our relationships.

happiness is a big word... it comes from many other aspects like our sense of self-worth, our positive outlook, sincere atttitude, optimism etc etc... and the things that fulfill these aspects can be found in our career, goals and dreams... but sadly, some pple only think uni-directional, and they dismiss materialistic/financial aspects... they make it seem wrong to embrace these... it's sadder if they watch from the side and hide their envy...
 
Just to bring in a bit of the theory, technically happiness is defined by two components
1) satisfaction of life - thinking part
2) affect - feeling part

These two components has been covered by most of u guys in the above posts, in a way or another.

The feeling part is about making oneself feel happy in most moment of the life. These are easy steps, at least for me, like eating what i crave, watch shows which i like, play games that i like. IF there's anything that i like to do now, i'll do it now. (of course there's other factors involved as well, like the context and priorities of the moment.But i think its important to differentiate these factors from limiting beliefs.)

For the satisfaction of life, i generally live by a belief. That is, i'll always be contented with what i currently have, but not with what i can do. Though i'm not satisfied with my own ability, i'm satisfied with my life in totality. Hence, i do believe that a person can have ambitions and be contented at the same time, but it requires a mind which is able to healthily accept and embrace inadequacy of the present moment.


Hi Sunflower,

I certainly agree about the great impact that family upbringing can bring.

Similar to Milo's point, i also believe that one has the ability to gain self-awareness to realise what has been shaped and actively make changes to increase our control of our own life. Actually, I'm speaking from my own experience. Although i cant say that i have overcome all the limitations from the result of my upbringing, at least the awareness would influence my decision-making which eventually shaped the person that i want to become.


Hi Milo,

"We do not need to learn how to be happy. We only need to start searching within and not rely on what the society, family, and parents tells us."

I do think that we need learning to know how to be happy. The learning includes the latter step which u mentioned too but i thought there's still a gap to reach happiness if its by searching only. I felt that it's important to learn:
1) what are the beliefs that are distorted
2) what are the limiting beliefs which prevented us from feeling happy
3) how to dispute these beliefs
4) how to get what we want
 
" Hence, i do believe that a person can have ambitions and be contented at the same time, but it requires a mind which is able to healthily accept and embrace inadequacy of the present moment. "

this is pretty true... just sad that the typical interpretations and understandings are lost in translation. there will always be pple who think that 'contented' & 'ambitious' are directly opposing, and tat since 'contented' sounds peaceful, that would make 'ambitious' sound chaotic and bad.

these are the words that our mind corrupt and make to look bad.

then u have a bunch of pple being contented becos it's fashiuonable.
 
powder, that's precisely what I'm saying all along. One can be ambitious but yet contented with life. To me, its where we place our values. In appreciation of our blessings OR on what we don't have.

Whatever personal goals loses most of meaning without ones to share or benefit from it. even the greatest and most nobel creations will be useless if its never used.

We can work hard towards success in life but not forgetting every moment to appreciate our lives with those we cherish. Its hardly a thing of fashionable. If one is to insist on 'fashion', then, in any urban culture, the truly dominant fashion would be to materialism and individualism. Its not bunch of people but an entire generation of it.
 
well yes and no... sometimes u can be so appreciative to the point of an incapacitating type of contentment. everything u also happy with cos u dun dare ask for more and u keep appreciating until u dun know how to live at all... all u do is be appreciative, thanking the heavens...

my next question is, how have u helped the pple around u?

thing is, there are pple who simply live for themselves... ok fine, family and frens as well... but is there a greater good we can do?

i must reiterate there's nothing wrong with what u're saying if it's how u feel and it's YOU. i personally know a few pple who hold this view becos it's fashionable... it's for pple to like them, it's for acceptance. but behind it hides envy and wish for something better... Words are cheap, u can act like u're the family person and have alot of family values blah blah... u can act like u're deep into all things non-material... but is that the real u? or is that the u that u want others to see?

therein lies the difference. i admit, i'm always aiming for higher and something more... but it's not becos i'm unhappy, it's more becos i feel that i'll die with regrets if i didn't fully utilise the potentials that i've been blessed with, to help those who are born less priviledged...

so whilst my fren John may be home spending quality family time, i'll be in office trying to negotiate that extra deal... end of the day, John bonds well with his family and is a happy family man and alot of pple says good things abt him. whilst i look like a lousy father as i anonymously sponsor another tertiary student, give him monthly allowance to complete his studies... personally i dun care and i dun need to pple to know, it defeats the very purpose if u need to tell others abt it. But wat gets me is when pple think they have the depth to teach u, when all they do is live for themselves and stay out of trouble... i mean, how difficult and enviable can that be?

some pple place alot of values and cherish families... whilst some are like me - cherish and place values in society... a greater good. of cos i have an understanding wife and hope my kids will grow up understanding that i dun live for them, but for others...
 
hi powder,

agree that words are cheap. Its never about words but more so on the consistency and sincerity that one puts in.

I believe the more we appreciate our blessings, the more willing we are to share them with others. That's what differentiate the generous to the stingy ones. The context of sharing can go beyond the family only. When we spend time on a big nobel goal to benefit the man kind, it is not the achievement that motivates them but the thought of how it will make an impact to the lives of others.

Not everyone have that kind of calling. I don't. But, I do not think the he/she is driven by goals alone.

"but it's not becos i'm unhappy, it's more becos i feel that i'll die with regrets if i didn't fully utilise the potentials that i've been blessed with, to help those who are born less priviledged... "

This is exactly what I have been saying. You need to realize and appreciate your blessing before you can let go and share it with others. This is the very reason why there is a rat race. Everyone is chasing and trying to grab to as much as possible for themselves only. They will always be hungry because there haven't stop to reflect at all.
 
well not driven by tat type of goal is fine... just dun stop others nor misunderstand others...

it doesn't have to be a calling... it's just something we do becos we're part of society and have benefitted from it. calling it a 'calling' makes it easy to excuse ourselve from our social obligations by turning it into something that sounds extraordinary and is a job for others who have the calling...

well to me it beats the bs 'contented' that's being preached by some.
 
I disagree, we are not leeches of the society. We pay taxes and contributed to it in different ways too. What's BS is to say we are excusing ourselves if we do not do community work or contribute in the same way.

Its a win-win situation for any society. The citizens needs the country and likewise, they need the people to contribute.
 
well then tat's where we're different.

oui, dun change the flavour leh... i said "it beats the bs 'contented' that's being PREACHED BY SOME. it means that some pple's definition of contented is bs, becos it hides behind something more self-serving.

it's very different from saying that it's BS, so dun misconstrue that.

by the way, taxes isn't a choice... it's a Must. i dun see how doing something that's Already a Must, which everyone is doing... can somehow be made into a Big favour for the country. so that obligation isn't anything to point to...

giving some extra money to the poor or helping the underprivilged isn't a calling... it's just giving away some extra money. does it take effort? nope, it hardly cost us a few seconds, just a few dollars... so erm, it's not a calling leh...
 
Hi powder,

"well yes and no... sometimes u can be so appreciative to the point of an incapacitating type of contentment. everything u also happy with cos u dun dare ask for more and u keep appreciating until u dun know how to live at all... all u do is be appreciative, thanking the heavens..."

I felt this wouldn't be much of an issue if a long term goal is set. But yes, it may be a "dangerous" trap if one do not have a goal or direction to move to. I just recalled a recent incident....recently, i got to know a friend who told me that she used to be very unhappy. But eversince she learnt about contentment, she felt at peace with herself. She said that she's happy that she's making effective changes to her student's lives (she's a teacher) and is contented with what she's doing. Hence, she planned to live the rest of her life in this way. Then i followed by asking her, if she has the potential to make effective changes to 100 student's life at a time, would she still be contented with just settling for 4, which is what she's doing now. Would she think she's bringing justice to her life or the student's life which is waiting to be changed? For a moment, she was stunned with my questions and currently, she's re-planning her life goals.

keke..i agree with you about how contentment is sometimes seen as a 'fashion'. On many occasions, i can see how proud people is about themselves when using this word. It's like they have instantly become a wise sage when they identify themselves to contentment.

I certainly can't agree more on how annoying the preachers for contentment can be. And it's even worse when gender-role expectation is included. You know, maybe its just my social circle, but about 60% of the people around me think its unwise of me to have dreams and goals, as they believe woman should just be contented with being a good house keeper or care taker. And i'm always given the you-are-a-selfish-sinner judgement, followed with a long preaching what is the right way to live as a woman. gosh, i'm still puzzled about how this can be happening in the 21st century. Luckily, i'm very much an individualist, otherwise i'll be surfing the housewife forum now and be posting about my contentment of having save 20 cents from the tao kay i bought from the market this morning. (disclaimer: i'm not saying all housewife are like this, but i figure this is what i'll be like if i am a full-time housewife).
 
hi bro, just because its mandatory does make it less a contribution. Just the same with National Service. We serve willingly with the common understanding on the need and value of our service. Even if its lot of wayang and time wasting. National security is definitely an important role by every singaporean.

When younger, I do spend time with community work. Helping up in orphanage and homes for the ID. But now, my priorities are my family. I have enough issues the needs my constant time and effort. Yes, goals in career, hobbies, interest etc are still there but I know where my personal priorities are. No matter how understanding my wife can be, I will not deprived her of my time. Of cos, this is only for me. But, I wouldn't agree that I'm not contributing.
 
same thing mah... if we contribute Mandatorily - i dun see how we can mention it in a way which seems to expect recognition. the whole point is going beyond wat is mandatory, isn't it? and that's something that doesn't require much effort with all the charities at our doorstep, we just need to give tat extra few dollars... it's not a calling right? 'a calling' requires more dedication than convenient donations...

i dun do alot of physical charity work either, i dun have time for that... my contribution is purely financial, just a cheque... not a calling.

i'm not saying u're not contributing, u might be taking it too close to heart... the reason why this whole topic came to this point is becos some Pple talk abt being contented, but their idea of contentment is simply living their lives for themselves, taking care of themselves and totally self-serving... and they Want to be recognised... i'm referring to this group.

without a doubt, we have different paths... i dun condemn pple for living purely for themselves, but i do get cheesed when such pple preach contentment. living for just ourselves is like the easiest thing to do... there's nothing to shout abt... it's actually well-described by pigcahontas when she said "On many occasions, i can see how proud people is about themselves when using this word. It's like they have instantly become a wise sage when they identify themselves to contentment."
 
pigcahontas,

i guess only way to gauge is against our own potentials, as well as conscience... only we know the facade we build for ourselves and hide behind...
 

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